ready or not…

It’s Friday! and by the time you read this, I’ll be on my way to Augusta, AR to have a little chat with the high school book club.

Word on the street is they loved BITE ME! and are ready to read LOVE SUCKS!

This makes Melf very happy.

After my chat I’m heading to Oxford to hang with El Jefe for the weekend. It’s his birthday weekend, ya know.

Oh and guess what? Next Friday, I’ll be watching the Neon Trees live and in person! I can’t wait…

friday will cure what ails ya

I will be singing the Cure song all damn day and I’m okay with that. Earworm u can haz it too!
Tonight, the Michael Franti & Spearhead concert, tomorrow is soccer then Hillcrest Harvestfest, and Sunday is whatever I want it to be.
The highs this weekend are in the 70s so it is seriously going to be the perfect weekend for some outside fun.
Happy Friday y’all! Got big plans?

prepare to be blinded by the cute

So Clementine the Tart (aka the pregnant teenage kitty who was abandoned in my yard) has popped. And here we are 6 weeks later, overloaded by the cuteness. These babies are ready for new homes. As much as I hate the idea of getting rid of them (because I do adore all of them) it is way past time. My back porch was supposed to be a beer garden, not a petting zoo.

Did you know that Dr. Pepper boxes make the best Kitteh hidey holes? True story. Here we have (from the left) Mayhem (she’s a striped calico) Chicken Nugget (aka Lemonjello he has a twin brother you’ll see in a second named Colonel Mustard aka Orangejello) and my favorite of them all Kitty G.

Colonel Mustard and Kitty G love to play. Col. Mustard apparently is part vampire. Go figure.

Chicken Nugget posing like a good little boy. That’s Mayhem looking for trouble behind Nugget.

Mayhem is a hot mess.

This is Charlie Chaplin. She’s so shy that I can never get any good pics of her. But she’s sweet as pie. She’s black and white and has a cute little black mustache…

I’m going to post more pics soon. I will continue to post pics until all the kittehs have found new homes. I don’t need anyone thinking I’m the crazy cat lady. I’ll NEVER get a date then!

THIS

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I had a great weekend but I’m not ready for today. At all. I even went to bed last night before the Denver/Steelers game was over. I had hoped to see Tim Tebow cry again, but even that hope couldn’t keep my poor, tired eyes open.

Oh, I did have 80s Bunko on Friday night. Check out the picgasm of Awesome:

Do you recognize Jenn’s “character” from a very popular 80s TV Show? I’ll give you a hint: You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have the Facts of Life…

I had to do the ever so popular close up with the hand to the face pic. My bangs were so crunchy, Cap’n Crunch asked to borrow my technique for his next cereal. I was also wearing a blue jean skirt and leopard print leggings with a belt around my awesome Spuds MacKenzie shirt. And Yes. That is my originial Spuds MacKenzie shirt…

Hope y’all had a good one! Maybe I’ll be more myself tomorrow…

these dreams will suck you dry….

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Last night I woke up at 3:30. I guess I had a lot on my mind because it took me a while to go back to sleep.

Unfortunately, when I did finally fade back into dreamland, I became a blood-sucking vampire.

I was much like the vampires I write about. I wasn’t allergic to light, was going to college(?) and was pretty cute. I didn’t have to feed on humans but if I got backed into a corner, I would.

The details are a little blurry, but I know I was out for a run with my friend and we stopped to talk to some guys that flagged us down. They were funny and flirty and we were happy for the attention. One of the guys asked what I did for a living and I told him I wrote vampire books and he was all excited because his mom was a school librarian and would want to meet me.

Sweet, right?

Riiiiight.

So this cutie-patootie takes me and my friend home and introduces me to his family. His dad is an Archie Bunker type who doesn’t get out of his recliner and his mom is this woman who I’d already met at a school function. What I didn’t know, is she also was aware that I was a real vampire and she was going to kill me.

Well, guess what? She tried and failed. And when we left her, she was writhing on the floor as her body was making a very painful transformation. I let her know that I could’ve killed her, but where was the fun in that?

I started to leave, but the cute boy was torn between avenging his mom and being turned on by my ugly bald head. (Can anyone explain why I was so cute in my ‘human’ form, but when I turned into a vampire I looked like this?

It was my dream, I should’ve looked like this:
We’re gonna pretend I looked like pic #2 from this point forward…

Okay, so my friend and I survive…I turn the boy into a vampire and he wants to be my puppy and follow me around but I tell him he needs to go feed to gain some strength so go find a couple of guys he hates from school and have at it.

Somehow my friend and I are now in a parking garage (nothing good ever happens in a parking garage). We’re getting ready to leave for vacation to the beach (because you know we vampires need our ocean air and vitamin D) She has to go to the bathroom and so we find one. (not really sure I would ever use a parking garage bathroom, but I might if I really had to) I finish before she does and for some reason I decide to wait outside the restroom. Well, I hear this loud commotion from inside and my friend screams. I try to get inside, but the door is blocked. I transform into the ghoulish bald monster (with a hot body) and kick the door down. There are 8 dudes and a chick in the bathroom with my friend, and I’m not really sure how they got in there but I don’t care. They’re vampires too and trying to feed on my friend. Well, I take the chick out first because seriously, what a ho. The weird thing about this part is I can actually feel and taste the blood and I said to her “What the hell kinda chick are you? You taste funny!” I woke up in the middle of killing the big biker dude who was trying to suck my friend dry…

Um, this isn’t the kinda book I write exactly, so I’m not sure why I dreamed this. Maybe it’s telling me I need to try something different? Or maybe I’m really a vampire?

words. I haz them.

funny pictures of cats with captions

Me and my friend, Kitteh (aka Kristen Painter) apparently had the same idea this week. We’re both posting Catmus Pictures…and so far, we’ve managed not to copy each other! Pop over and see what LOLZ she’s been posting.

So, last night was my signing and visit at the Bryant Library. I grew up in Bryant, and even though the town of Twelve BILLION Thousand no longer resembles the town of 2800 that I knew, it is still one of the warmest places on earth.

I felt honored and humbled by the show of support. It was amazing.
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The room was standing room only. (okay, it was a smallish room, but still SRO sounds so AWESOME, right?) and we sold out of books (YAY!) and then people sat down to hear me talk.

Me. Talk.

As if that’s ever a problem.

Well, it is a bit different to talk in front of a group. Thankfully I knew most of them, so that helped. And so I rambled on about why I started writing (I was bored), why I continued writing after we moved to Oxford (I was really bored), how I found an agent (luck!), how I decided to write about a teenage vampire (more luck!) and how I got published (A BUCKET LOAD OF LUCK). So my talk went something like this:

One day I was bored and started writing. I moved to Mississippi and kept on writing. I got lucky and signed with an agent who totally gets me and a few years later I got even luckier and sold a book. The End.

Don’t you wish you had been there to hear all that in person?

I had a fabulous time and hope they’ll invite me back again someday! I’ll have pics for you soon, just didn’t get them downloaded last night.

I’d like to give a big shout out to awesome librarian Jill Martin who made these signings happen. And a huge, huge thank you to all my friends who showed up on a rainy Tuesday evening to shower me with love.

Y’all are all smothered in awesome-sauce!

Say What?

My signing and talk went well last night. It was a small crowd but they were very attentive. Especially my new biggest fan…a 13 year old boy who decided I should be a comedian. Yeah, maybe. Except for the whole being-funny-all-the-time-in-front-of-lots-of-people-who might-not-find-me-funny-at-all thing. And I got to see two old pals from a long time ago…My high school prom date’s Dad stopped by. And good ol’ TTB brought her 9 year old son by…Parker, my youngest and most awesome fan.

Tonight’s signing at the Bryant Library should be a bit larger. I’m excited about it. I’ll get to make a fool of myself in front of old friends, and really, nothing is better than that! Hopefully I’ll find my camera today so I’ll be able to post pics tomorrow!

Now on a more frustrating note: if you post negative anonymous comments on my blog, you will be deleted. If you continue to post them multiple times, your IP address will be blocked. It’s okay if you don’t like me or what I write (hopefully you’ve actually READ the book if you’re going to hate on it…) and it’s okay for you to tell me that. It’s not okay for you to be hateful about it. You may not think I’m the most positive of influences on impressionable young minds…but IMO, anonymously posting hateful messages is pretty negative behavior as well. DOes that make us even?

Whew. I feel better now.
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Mondaze.

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It’s Mondaze during the holidaze week of Christmas.

I watched Love Actually 3 times this weekend. Yes, I’m ridiculous. No, I really don’t care if you think I’m a loser. (and can I just say, both of my boys sat down and watched it with me the 3rd time about half-way through and got completely hooked) This confirms my theory that Love Actually is actually Christmas Crack.

I also watched Seven Pounds. What a downer. I had that movie figured out within the first 10 mins yet I couldn’t stop watching. Probably because I love Will Smith but still, it was such a damn downer. And the ending was just so expected! C’mon!

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And then there was Survivor which made me very, very happy. I was all about Team Russell until he got all nasty about Shambo last week. Seriously, that man owed Shambo his place in the game. If it hadn’t been for her, he never would’ve made it as far as he did. And instead of giving her the respect she deserved, he called her names and said she disgusted him, etc. It made me ill. While I agree he played an amazingly strategic and very obvious game, and he was total entertainment…Natalie played just as smart but was much less obvious. And it worked for her.

I was happy.

Plus she’s an Arkansas girl, so Woo Pig Sooie!

And on a final note, I’ll be at the Benton Library tonight from 6-7 doing a talk and signing books. What on earth am I gonna talk about?

stoopid hooman trick–I duz it right akshually

I’m alive! It’s true. No matter how much I wanted die this week, I actually made it through.

Sometimes I can be for reelz stoopid. I know it’s hard to believe, me being Mel the Awesome and all. But it’s true.

So sparing you all the gory details, because really, they don’t matter in the long run, I basically lost 2 weeks of work on Sunday.

Two full weeks I had been revising LOVE SUCKS! I had been taking my time, doing it right. blah blah blah.

And on Monday morning, I pulled up to finish and tweak (because they were due Monday) and I discovered they were gone. Almost completely gone.
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see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Now, I know what happened. Like I said, the only detail that is important is the fact that I am for reelz stoopid sometimes.

Thankfully I have a fabulous editor who gave me the rest of the week to fix my stoopid hooman trick.

And because the revisions were so fresh on my mind, the only real thing that was getting in my way was time. Because, of course, I work on Tues, Wed, and Thurs.

Sleep? Highly overrated.

I actually had a bit of a melt down Wednesday night. It wasn’t pretty and thankfully only one person witnessed it via text message. I believe he referred to me as a ‘grilled cheese sandwich.’ Yeah, a nuclear grilled cheese. It was U-G-L-Y.

And I ain’t got no alibi.

But now it’s sitting in Awesome Editor’s inbox and I’m going to celebrate with a pedicure (am contemplating Kermit Green toes…thoughts?) and sleep.

Oh sleep…how I’ve missed you.

Next week, I’ll be doing a girl’s trip to Beaver Lake in NW Arkansas. Can’t wait. Not sure if I’ll have real internet access there (okay, not sure if I want real internet access) but last year I took lots of pics of wild life and posted all about it when I got home.

So if I’m not blogging til Wednesday, please forgive me!

I hope y’all have a great weekend. Tell me: what you got goin’ on?