Dear Rader #20

Dear Rader,

Well, you’re almost there. You’ve almost made it to the magic age where you can purchase wine for me. What a glorious time to be alive!

In all seriousness, I know I talk about how proud I am of you and your brother. You both are probably sick of hearing it, but you just need to deal with it today.

I spoke of your drive and your dedication to your education and your amazing work ethic last year. That hasn’t changed. Your grades and the fact that you’ve maintained all your scholarships show me that your education is the most important thing in your life right now. I’m glad, because dude, Hendrix ain’t cheap! And the fact that you earn your tuition and living expenses through study is no easy feat. And yes, I am proud of you and grateful that you understand how important this is to your future.


I love how willing you are to humor me when I make you watch movies like ANIMAL HOUSE and how you quickly you realize that many of the phrases we use today originated from the awesome that was the 70s and early 80s. I love that when the Manpanion and I started calling you Lazlo from  REAL GENIUS, you asked to watch that movie so you’d get the reference.

Your sense of humor has always been well beyond your years. I remember watching SNL with you when Will Ferrell was on the cast and you not only understood what made the show so funny, when you didn’t, you asked why. Because you WANTED to understand.

Thank you for being there for me, when I didn’t feel like I had anyone last year. Sometimes you shoulder so much more than you should, but it’s in your nature and it’s why you are you.

Never change, Monkey. You bring color to this life and I will always be forever grateful I got the privilege of being your Mom.


Dear Rader #19

Dear Rader,

Today is your 19th birthday. I like to write you and your brother a letter every year, and this one will be no exception.


I’m incredibly proud of you and your brother. Y’all have weathered some emotional turmoil this year, and even though you both have a little internal bruising, you are stronger for it.

You just finished your first semester in college. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to fathom you’re a grown-ass man. You worked your tail off earning ALL THE SCHOLARSHIPS to pay for college. You worked your tail off earning money to help pay for your trip abroad, your trip to Puerto Rico, and to buy yourself a car. I know adults who don’t have the work ethic you have now. It’s amazing to see you take control of your life, set goals, and work like a junkyard dog to achieve them.

You’ve always been my little individualist and it makes me proud that you’ve had a self-awareness well beyond your age. I’d love to take credit for helping you with that, but I think that you were just born with it. You weren’t a “normal” baby (as if there is such a thing.) You were always so independent, so curious, so willing to ask questions and make jokes and entertain yourself. You hated sleeping in bed with us as a kid, didn’t like cuddling, and spent the ages from 5-10 “hugging” me by poking me with your index fingers and saying “hug, hug.” So now, when you snuggle me on the couch, or hug me with both arms…it is truly special.

I love you, kid. And I’m proud of the man you’re becoming. Carry on.

Love, Momma


It’s that time of year, bitches.

We are one day away from the 7th annual MONTH OF MEL. (Technically, it’s the 47th annual, Month of Mel, but…I didn’t start celebrating the entire month until 7 years ago.) For those of you unfamiliar with the origins of the MONTH OF MEL, please click here. We’ll wait for you, don’t worry…

Continue reading

et tu?

My youngest turns 18 on Saturday. Or as he continually reminds me via text message and on FB…I officially will be VERY OLD on Saturday when my youngest child is no longer a child. He will only be my offspring. My growed-assed progeny. Because I’m old.

Yes. That is a summary of how he teases me about his 18th birthday. Because he is cruel.

He is my clown, my goofball, my forever and unapologetically “himself” child. I’ve never met a more grounded or a more self-aware teenager in my life.

Please enjoy this very brief glimpse into our life together

I have made many mistakes over the years, but I’ve done 2 things pretty damn okay. And they are the beings I birthed, formerly known as my children.

But as of this weekend, I’ll be the mother of two growed-assed men.

Et Tu, Rader Tater?

attitude check!

So, what’s your “Social Attitude?” Click this link, take the test, and find out!

My results:

Radicalism 88.5
Socialism 56.25
Tenderness 50

These scores indicate that you are a progressive; this is the political profile one might associate with a university professor. It appears that you are skeptical towards religion, and have a pragmatic attitude towards humanity in general.

Your attitudes towards economics appear neither committedly capitalist nor socialist, and combined with your social attitudes this creates the picture of someone who would generally be described as a political centrist.

To round out the picture you appear to be, political preference aside, a devoted egalitarian with several strong opinions.

I’d say that sums me up quite nicely. Continue reading


Check out my view from the convertible this morning as I was being chauffeured into town this morning.

photo(129) That’s right! Sunrise in the front…moon in the back. Kinda cool, huh?

On the drive in, Rader and I were just chatting it up like we always do, and I told him about a friend of mine posting this link to my FB page and telling me that when she read the article she thought of me because “you are one of the most “human” people I know! You’re a great role model for living authentically!” THIS is the biggest compliment I have ever been given and it truly touched me. (and not even in the naughty, below the belt way…which has always been my favorite touching up until now.) I think this is what people sometimes refer to as “feelings.” So foreign, yet so nice…

Anyway, I told Rader this story and he said “You know mom, you may not be ‘funky fresh’ but you don’t front and that’s cool.”

I am now striving to achieve level funky fresh.

In other news, 3 years ago this week, El Jefe and I were planning our first date…which actually took place on September 10, 2010. Check out our very first picture together…


Aw. Aren’t we adorable? Yes. Yes we are.

It’s funny when I think back to those days. I had known El Jefe for 10 years. We had worked together and lived next door to each other…and we had always been friends. He always made me laugh. I was floored when he contacted me. I thought “Is he flirting? No way.”  And then… YES WAY. OMG. I was so nervous. I had gone out with a few guys since my separation, but no one I was really into. Mostly they were just young and dumb and full of ego. (AHEM. Yes. Ego.) (or multiple personalities. I wish I was joking…) Anyway, I’ve been feeling nostalgic this week. We are a good fit. We are happy. I am happy. And I am so glad I took a chance and started a new chapter in my life with a man that is so smart and funny and now I can call him ALL MINE.  He’s a pretty lucky guy, too, me being so awesome and all…

And his response to that would be:

3rrcpgIf you watch Sons of Anarchy…He’s my Opie.

Sure, Jax is the “hot one” but Opie is the one that I want. Big and burly on the outside, soft like a kitteh on the inside. Shhhhh. Don’t tell El Jefe I said that. It sounds like he may have the feelz. He refuses to acknowledge he feels the feelz. 🙂

but he totally does.

Happy Thursday, Bitches! I’m gonna shine bright like a diamond today. Put your shades on!

sorry I’ve been quiet this week

I just haven’t felt like blogging. I’ve been busy with life. Had food poisoning on Monday. Then an allergic reaction to SOMETHING UNKNOWN ( I did NOT swallow a spider in my sleep, STOP SAYING THAT!) on Tuesday and then hair day, then pedicures with Ian, then birthday cupcakes and wine with friends and now…it’s Friday.

So check out the horror that I woke up to in the mirror Tuesday morning:

kiss me again….

Yeah…um, I have luscious lips but….THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL. I did NOT get collagen and El Jefe did not smack me around (even though I never listen and I totally didn’t make him a sandwich) I just woke up with swolled-up lips. And face. I looked horrific. And as you can see, I had a sad all day.

I took 150 mgs of Benadryl throughout the day on Tuesday and finally, after a full day of being comatose, my lips look less like road kill and more like Angelina Jolie…

In fun news, I was told yesterday that my ass looked awesome in the jeans I will now never take off.

I ordered Turbo Fire videos from Beach Body (the same group that does Insanity and P90X). I need to add something to my bootycamp workouts (which are obviously working even though I haven’t lost any weight, see ass comment above for proof). And now to the reason I haven’t lost weight…

I’m eating too few calories…and then I give up and over eat for a few days, then I eat too few calories.

I cannot do that to myself anymore. I have to change my mindset. I have to fuel my body for the amount of exercising I have been doing. I cannot starve my body and not expect it to go into survival mode and refuse to give up its stored up energy. The 80s & 90s diet mentality that was drilled into my head as a kid is wrong. And I have to freaking retrain my brain.

Speaking of...this article... it choked me up. I was that girl. I was the athlete who was happy with her muscles and curves until her coach and her parents made her feel bad about herself. I was PUT on a diet at 13 years old. Who does that to a kid?

There are some things I miss about the 80s, but that is NOT one of them. BTW, I don’t blame my parents, they didn’t know any better. They did what they thought was right by their daughter. But I do blame my coaches and the doctors and my weightloss consultants who wrongly informed the world that a 13 year old curvy and muscular teen was unhealthy and needed to lose weight because of her body shape. Shame on them.

If you don’t click the link read the whole article (which you should because it really is well written and poignant), here is the last 2 paragraphs that really spoke to me.

I am sorry because many of you walked in healthy and walked out with disordered eating, disordered body image, and the feeling that you were a “failure.” None of you ever failed. Ever. I failed you. The weight loss company failed you.Our society is failing you.

Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life. Forget all the diet and weight loss nonsense. It’s really just that. Nonsense.


Eat real food, be active and live your life.

I’m going to add “and choose happiness” to that line and live it. Be good to yourself, bitches! Have a great weekend.

things that have made me smile this week.


The idea behind this makes me both happy and sad. Our priorities are so messed up in this country.



Parenting! You're doing it right!

Parenting! You’re doing it right!

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 and finally, Ian and I had lunch yesterday and he left me a little happy on my desk…
Smile, bitches! It’s Thursday! There’s a lot to be happy about ’round these parts! If you’re not happy yet, just watch this.. If you’re not smiling by the end of this video, you have no soul.

One of those weeks

well, it has been one of those weeks. I woke up happy and in a good place every day, and by the end of the day, I was drained of all things good.

Happiness comes from within…right? So I took today off to get happy again. I’m going to walk 500 a few miles and then have lunch with my girls. And all will be right in the world. Maybe El Jefe and I can catch a movie this afternoon.

Storms are headed this way today, and I’m looking forward to them. I love nature’s hissy fits! Even the scary ones are fun. Weather patterns have always fascinated me. I probably should have been a storm chaser. Or maybe just a weather girl…



have a great weekend, bitches! And don’t let the mean girls get you down! Life is too short to worry about what other people think of you.