I’ve blogged about this before, but I feel like it’s time to resurrect one of my favorite topics. The Alpha Male.

I love a bad boy. Always have. Over the years I’ve realized that the bad boy is my fantasy…one that I never wanted as my life partner. Not that Fishdog isn’t a bit of a bad boy—he totally is. Bald head, long goatee, loud and confident. (all he’s missing is an eyebrow piercing and a tattoo—he’s thinking about the tattoo. Don’t think I’ll ever convince him to pierce his eyebrow.) Either way, he definitely looks the part. But overall, he’s a teddy bear. He’s the perfect guy for me in real life.

But I’m not talking real life today; I’m talking about fantasy world.

I know there are women out there who love to read/watch/fantasize about the ‘Beta’ hero. As Kwana says “Apples and oranges.” I have no problem with a Beta man. In the real world, they make the great partners (for some women). But for me, when I’m indulging in a fantasy, it’s all about the attitude. And Betas just don’t have what I’m looking for.

It’s not just about a hot body and a pretty face (although, truth be told, that doesn’t hurt) it’s about mind-set and self-assurance. Shy is cute, but confidence turns me on.

Look at DeAnna on the Bachelorette. Who was she the most attracted to? Graham. He was confident and cocky and very closed off. But his aura was sex-on-a-stick. Was he the right guy for her? Nope. But could she stay away? Nope. The air sizzled when they were together. All that sexual frustration would end up coming out—usually in the form of a fight. What they needed was one week all alone without any clothing. They were never going to have a real relationship, but damn they would’ve had fun getting all that out of their system with some hot, sweaty, monkey-love.

Louisa blogged about this not too long ago. Her question was: how tough is too tough. Well for me, it’s not about actually being tough. (Though I’m not opposed to a tough guy). For me, Alpha/Bad-Boy really is all in the attitude. You can be an electrician or an accountant and still be Alpha. Or a snowboarder. Look at Jesse on the Bachelorette. He’s soft spoken and quiet most of the time, but his confidence is off the charts. It’s damn sexy…and it is the reason he’s in the final two. But will he be the one she picks? Probably not. Because the thing that draws us to an Alpha is the very thing that makes them a difficult life partner—they’re not easily complemented. DeAnna and Graham butted heads because they were both very Alpha. Sexual tension was so thick between them, but other than that, they were oil and water. Jesse and DeAnna would do the same. Even though he has a bit of both, I think the bad boy in him would be hard to settle down. And that’s what she wants more than anything right now.

But that’s why Alphas make such awesome fantasies, because we don’t want to change them, we want to believe we’re the perfect complement to them! However, I’m not sure that’s possible in real life.

What do you think? Can a true Alpha make a good real life hero? Or is it that impossible? I think real life heroes are a good mix of Alpha/Beta (would that make them Gamma?) but when I fantasize, I like my men damn near Cro-Magnon. Okay, with smaller foreheads and a better vocabulary…but you get the picture.

Tell me, oh blog readers, what do you think? And guys—what about the chicks? Do you like them with confidence or do you prefer them pretty, pliable, and mute? The less expressive the better? Or is that just your fantasy girl? Seriously, I’m curious. What type of girls do guys fantasize about (and I’m not just talking about a nice set of tits).

Go on. Talk amongst yourselves.