Tag Archives: moving on

One of those weeks

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well, it has been one of those weeks. I woke up happy and in a good place every day, and by the end of the day, I was drained of all things good.

Happiness comes from within…right? So I took today off to get happy again. I’m going to walk 500 a few miles and then have lunch with my girls. And all will be right in the world. Maybe El Jefe and I can catch a movie this afternoon.

Storms are headed this way today, and I’m looking forward to them. I love nature’s hissy fits! Even the scary ones are fun. Weather patterns have always fascinated me. I probably should have been a storm chaser. Or maybe just a weather girl…

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have a great weekend, bitches! And don’t let the mean girls get you down! Life is too short to worry about what other people think of you.

2012 Day the Last

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This has been a helluva year. Before I recap the good and the bad, let me share my holiday break with you…

Christmas day… We had a great holiday. The boys arrived home from their dad’s around noon. We opened gifts, enjoyed the day…then headed to nonnie’s house for Chili and more gifts.

My niece, Double A, tried to steal my sparkle! Can you believe that?

 All the boys (including El Jefe) received Wife Beaters in their stockings… Yes, we were dreaming of a white trash Christmas…

 Next year’s Christmas card, maybe?

I’m not sure which Rader liked more, his iPhone or his Hulk Hands. haha.

Christmas night, the sleet an snow came down with a vengeance. We lost several trees and the eerie sound of limbs crashing to the ground all night was really creepy. It was beautiful, but I was over it after about 15 hours.  18 of those we were without power, and we were very lucky. The boys’ dad was without power from Tuesday – Sunday. No thank you.

Now…let’s talk about 2012 and why I’m glad it’s over…

What I loved about the year:

  1. My friends. The people who love me and care about me no matter what. They have supported me through a very tough time. They knew I was trying to hold it together, and when I pulled away, they pulled me back. I am very lucky. So very lucky to have them in my life. 
  2. My love. We have been through a very rough year financially. It could have killed our relationship, but we are stronger than ever. And 2013 is looking fantastic. I’m very lucky to have this man in my life.
  3. My boys. I’ve never been closer to them. They are the one thing I’ve done right in my life. Maybe even the only thing.  I am so proud of the young men they are becoming. And I can’t wait to see what 2013 brings to them.

Why I’m ready to kick the door closed on 2012:

  1. Being a one income family. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t fun. I fought depression…I adopted the mantra “Fake it til you make it” and I’m ready to stop faking it. I don’t do fake very well. 
  2. My health.  I had complications from a procedure last February that lasted all year. We finally figured the problem out in October, and it looks like it’s finally getting better. Of course, as a result of this issue, I’ve gained weight. I’ve been sad. I’ve stopped exercising. That is all changing. 
  3. Loss. I’ve lost friends this year. I have always been the one who reaches out to people. I’m the fun one, the sparkler, bright and shiny and happy. And for a few months last year, I couldn’t be that person anymore. And the people who know me and want me in their life reached out to me. And there are a few who didn’t. Who took my absence as a reflection on them not on me. And I’m so sad. I miss them terribly, but I was trying to patch my life together and I didn’t have the energy or the life left to reach out and mend the tatters. I just couldn’t do it. Maybe this year I’ll find the strength to recover the loss, because I do feel the emptiness without them in my life.

2013 is looking bright. We are a double income family again. We are lucky to have the support of our family and friends. And I’m very much looking forward to what this year has to offer. Bring 13. Bring it hard.

Sparkle on, my pretties. Have a fantastic New Year’s Eve and please be safe. If it doesn’t rain, I plan on lighting up the firepit and ringing in 2013 with my family. It’s gonna be a good night. Cheers!

Forward. HO!

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Yes, the election is over. Yes. I’m pleased with the results…but the reality is, if things had gone the other way, I’d be all right, too. (Unless I wanted to make a very important decision about my body…)

Anyhoo… Yay that the Rape Idiots didn’t get reelected. Good Grief. Yay for women who soundly told our country that we deserve the same pay and full control over our own bodies.

The only 1950s we get to live in, is in our pin up girl fantasies! And that’s the way it ought to be. (I’ll be right back, I need to go make you a sammich.)

And yay for President Barack Obama and his family. Go forth and continue to rebuild from the mess you were handed.

I’ve been extremely disappointed in my Facebook newsfeed lately. I welcome dissenting opinions, but I do not tolerate racism, hate or rhetoric. I woke this morning to see a couple of my ‘friends’ posting “Welcome to Muslim America’  and “Well of course he got voted in, everyone loves getting freebies.”

Really? Come on. Educate yourself. Don’t spread hate and rhetoric and untruths. Damn. So this is my status today.

If you truly believe that Obama is a Socialist, a Muslim, if you’re still looking for his birth certificate, or if you’re posting racist hate and rhetoric on your page, please just unfriend me now. This is a democracy. The people have spoken and they have spoken loudly. If I survived 8 years of Dubya (barely) then I promise, you will survive 8 years of Obama. These are not the darkest days. This is not the end of the world. I have been looking for signs of the apocalypse, and I’m pretty sure we’re safe. There’s no excuse to post hate. Respect the process and let love rule.

Seriously, we’ve all made mistakes, we all don’t like something about someone. We all disagree with different government policies, but to be hateful? To spread lies and encourage racism? Just not something I want to be around and certainly not something I want kids to see. So I’ve unfriended a few folks and I posted this and asked people to unfriend me. And I’m okay with it if you do. You have the right to your beliefs, but I’d appreciate it if you’d just keep them off my newsfeed because I don’t really want to hang out with someone who won’t bother to educate themselves with facts and who hates because of race, gender, or sexuality. Now. Go forth and love someone today.

too much plot.

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Dear Magic Mike,

Less talking. More more skin.

Love,
Melf

The movie was fun. But seriously, way too much plot.

How was your weekend? Do anything fun? I got some sun, had some fun with my girls, and cleaned out my closet! (Not to mention spent some fun time with Magic Mike).

I also donated a ton of clothing to Big Brothers and Big Sisters…including my wedding dress. That felt a little weird, but also good. I’m very hopeful that it will bring someone the happiness it once brought me. It’s a beautiful dress, if you’re into that sorta thing. I wanted to elope. But when we didn’t, I decided screw it, I’ll be Princess for a day. And then the princess part stuck…haha. Some people are just meant for royalty–and some are just pretenders to the throne. hahahaha. I’m funny.

Well, that’s all I have for ya today. Love ya. Mean it.

peace

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I did something that was very difficult yesterday. I swallowed my pride and reached out to someone that I had been incorrectly blaming for problems. It was wrong of me, and I admitted it with sincerity.

I allowed myself to be hurt by the initial response, then I realized that the response really doesn’t matter. I tried to right a wrong and I feel good about it.

Admitting fault isn’t easy for me. It isn’t easy for anyone.  Nobody likes the taste of crow. But I ate it. And now I can hold my head high because I’m better for it. It’s nice, this feeling of peace.

in the right direction aka 2011:Day the 12th

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For the past two years, instead of New Year’s Resolution, I chose three words to describe the previous year and three words to describe the coming year.

2009

2010

I was on vacation this year, and I didn’t get to do a Day the 1st posting…so I thought I’d rectify that somewhat…

2011 Day the 12th

My words for 2010
focused
sparkly
fun

Focused would be the one word that did not ring true for the entire year. I flailed a bit. I barely wrote & I got off my fitness routine.

But sparkly and fun? Hell yeah.

So let’s get to 2011.

I’m not going to describe the coming year in three words. I’m not going to continue to make resolutions such as “Be a more disciplined writer” like I did the past two years. (because let’s face it, I’m not a disciplined writer. Not even close. So why set myself up for failure that way?)

I have one goal and one goal only for this year: Move forward.

I spoke briefly on this at Fictionistas on Friday. I’m putting one foot in front of the other and getting my life back in order. Part of doing that is cutting the negative out of my life and leaving the past where it belongs. Now it’s time to focus on my present and move into my future.

I promise to sparkle hard while I move forward. I really look best in glitter, anyway. 🙂

“We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” Charles R. Swindoll

Attitude is everything.

ETA: my friend Elen reminded me that one of my resolutions
from the past two years was to “Laugh everyday.” She gently nudged me to
continue to do that. So, I’m officially editing my resolution list:

Move forward
Laugh everyday

Thanks Elen!

the weekend in review

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House: Cleaned
Laundry: Unwashed
Boxes: half unpacked
Taxes: work in progress
Weather: Un-freaking-believably Awesome
Friends: Luckiest girl in the world
Easter: Juciest turkey ever and a trampoline

This was a bit of an emotional weekend. Many of you know that Fishdog and I have been separated for almost a year. (We’re still great friends and I have no desire to air my private business in this blog, but since I’m moving, etc. I thought I’d let y’all know the circumstances. /divorcetalk) This weekend, I started moving into the new bachelorette pad. It’s a tiny little cottage that I’ve been cleaning, painting, and sweating over for the past 3 months. (Not quite sure how I’m gonna share 1 bathroom with 2 teen boys, but we’ll figure it out…) The move is mostly complete, now I’ve just got to finish unpacking and move all the personal items over, like clothing.

The clothing thing for me is a difficult task because I need to go through it all. I’ve lost enough weight that most of my clothing doesn’t fit anymore. This is a great problem to have…except that since I’m still only working part time, I’m not going to be spending any money on new clothes. But this weekend, I got lucky…it just so happens that one of my BFFs has been losing weight, too. And it just so happens that she can no longer wear a ton of her clothing…and it just so happens that we’re both hour glass shaped…and it just so happens that the clothes she’s undergrown are the right size for me!

I think I inherited 12 new dresses! OMG. And they’re all so damn cute! Just like me! I have a whole new wardrobe!! and a new house! and a new attitude! and… and I’m all out of new…

Anyway, this is a new beginning for me. A new phase in my life and I’m ready to take it on…and now I can do it in style thanks to my Fairy Clothing Godmother…

Dear 2009,

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Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

My friends and I were talking yesterday and we have decided that 2009 has been a year of either REALLY BIG HIGHS or REALLY BIG LOWS. There has been no in between. And dealing with both highs and lows with barely any time to catch our breath, we also decided that we’re exhausted.

So hasta la vista 2009.

I consider myself a very lucky girl. Even though we had a few scares over the year (a scary car accident with my niece and SIL and my BIL’s heart attack) my family remains healthy. And I’m very grateful for that. Several of my friends are struggling with illness in their lives and it breaks my heart for them. So knock on wood, we have our health.

I want to end this year on a positve note, so I think I’ll name all the good things that have happened to me over the year. If I focus on the good, the memories of the bad will fade into the distance.

  1. Wrote LOVE SUCKS!
  2. Won money at the horse races (not a lot, but hey, it paid for dinner and drinks!)
  3. Reconnected with some dear old friends and have rekindled some fantastic friendships that will last forever
  4. Got my awesome tattoo
  5. started working on a 40 things to do at 40 list and have accomplished many things on the list
  6. Ran my first 5K
  7. Celebrated the Month of Mel
  8. Turned 40 with style
  9. Went to two conferences, one in Florida and one in DC
  10. Spent some time at the beach
  11. Began to plot out a new series
  12. BUNCO BABES TELL ALL and BUNCO BABES GONE WILD both hit the stands
  13. CAN’T STAND THE HEAT also hit the stands
  14. oh yeah, and my debut novel BITE ME! finally made into the wild
  15. I found more than 100 four-leaf clovers over the summer
  16. Spent a weekend at Beaver Lake with my Thursday Girls.
  17. Got an email from CNBC’s Melissa Francis
  18. BITE ME! went into a 3rd printing
  19. After two years we finally sold our house in Oxford
  20. Saw Staind in concert!
  21. Did a local interview on a morning show
  22. Saw my ‘wee Scottish lad’ and his family in Nashville
  23. did the Race for the Cure
  24. Lost 35 pounds (and depending on the clothing) 2-3 sizes
  25. Had several successful book signings, an author talk, and visited the book club at my former high school

Looking at my list of good things that have happened this year (and I know I haven’t listed them all, but this is what came to mind this morning) I realize even with all the lows, 2009 wasn’t all that bad. Sure there have been some tough times, but I’m going to believe the good out weighs the bad.

The Universe wants me to know that 2010 is all mine. I thought I’d share that with you as well. The future’s so bright…I gotta wear shades.

Have you ever noticed how folks instinctively know that creating wealth is
much more fun than spending it, yet they dream more about spending it than they
do about creating it?Could it be, Melissa, they’ve momentarily forgotten that
they’re supernatural, that they can have whatever they want, and that life is
but a dream? 2010 is all yours, baby – The Universe

moving on

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Okay, I’m thinking happy thoughts now. Wanna see what I’m thinking about?

How can a girl not be happy when she looks at this picture?

And seriously, how can a girl not be happy when she has this to come home to?

and these dudes to drive her batty?

And the occasional breakfast table that looks like this:

Yeah. Pity party is definitely over. I’m a lucky girl. I just have to remember that.