Miscellany

Check out my view from the convertible this morning as I was being chauffeured into town this morning.

photo(129) That’s right! Sunrise in the front…moon in the back. Kinda cool, huh?

On the drive in, Rader and I were just chatting it up like we always do, and I told him about a friend of mine posting this link to my FB page and telling me that when she read the article she thought of me because “you are one of the most “human” people I know! You’re a great role model for living authentically!” THIS is the biggest compliment I have ever been given and it truly touched me. (and not even in the naughty, below the belt way…which has always been my favorite touching up until now.) I think this is what people sometimes refer to as “feelings.” So foreign, yet so nice…

Anyway, I told Rader this story and he said “You know mom, you may not be ‘funky fresh’ but you don’t front and that’s cool.”

I am now striving to achieve level funky fresh.

In other news, 3 years ago this week, El Jefe and I were planning our first date…which actually took place on September 10, 2010. Check out our very first picture together…

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Aw. Aren’t we adorable? Yes. Yes we are.

It’s funny when I think back to those days. I had known El Jefe for 10 years. We had worked together and lived next door to each other…and we had always been friends. He always made me laugh. I was floored when he contacted me. I thought “Is he flirting? No way.”  And then… YES WAY. OMG. I was so nervous. I had gone out with a few guys since my separation, but no one I was really into. Mostly they were just young and dumb and full of ego. (AHEM. Yes. Ego.) (or multiple personalities. I wish I was joking…) Anyway, I’ve been feeling nostalgic this week. We are a good fit. We are happy. I am happy. And I am so glad I took a chance and started a new chapter in my life with a man that is so smart and funny and now I can call him ALL MINE.  He’s a pretty lucky guy, too, me being so awesome and all…

And his response to that would be:

3rrcpgIf you watch Sons of Anarchy…He’s my Opie.

Sure, Jax is the “hot one” but Opie is the one that I want. Big and burly on the outside, soft like a kitteh on the inside. Shhhhh. Don’t tell El Jefe I said that. It sounds like he may have the feelz. He refuses to acknowledge he feels the feelz. 🙂

but he totally does.

Happy Thursday, Bitches! I’m gonna shine bright like a diamond today. Put your shades on!

Operation Bootylicous Workout #5

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I saw this workout on Pinterest yesterday and decided to modify it to fit my needs.

I actually had planned to do the 80 lunges and go into the 70 squats, but that changed when I got to 30 lunges. I’m just not there yet.  Because of the arthritis in my elbows, I have a very hard time with planks and push ups, so I made an adjustment to suit my body.

I did this set twice, and by the end, I was winded and wobbly. The sign of a very good workout! And it was a nice change of pace from what I’ve been doing. You know, I don’t wanna be bored…

Last night, I was ravenous about an hour after the workout. I had eaten a big green salad prior, and had a high protein shake afterward, but apparently my body needed more. Unfortunately, it was 9:00 and I don’t eat that late, so I fixed myself some green and roasted dandelion root tea and toughed it out. However, when I woke up this morning, I made myself a yummy little egg and cheese open-faced sandwich on the Pepperidge farm thin whole wheat bread because my stomach had tried to eat my spine overnight.

Increase in hunger is to be expected when your metabolism is kicking into gear, but sadly, I’m not a runner who is competing and needs to fuel up on as many calories as I burn. I’m a girl who is trying to lose weight, and has to remind herself that the point of exercising is to burn the calories…not to jump into a vat of cheese dip and while eating all the chips just because you exercised…

Hmph.

In other, non-workout and whiny because I’m hungry news: Pearl is up and running again! Ian’s dad helped us out with purchasing a new battery and she seems to be purring like a kitten. She still needs to have some tweaks done to her, so we’ll take her in next week and have her looked at. I drove her today, to make sure she was safe. I don’t want Ian carting the 4 year old he’s babysitting around in Pearl if she’s going to break down again… Looks like we’re a go, for take off! yippee!

Ian and Pearl

Ian and Pearl

Life is good, bitches. Live a genuine life and be happy. Or else I might have to get stabby all up in this place. Don’t be taking shit for granted, ya hear?

feeling swell

First off, thank you for all the wonderful comments about yesterday’s post. Many of us had a nice discussion on Facebook and I also received a couple of private messages that meant the world to me.  We all have stuff that lingers from our past, and we all have different ways to cope. In high school, my coping mechanism was to be happy no matter what in public. I ignored all the ugly remarks about the size of my butt, BUT, they never went away.

“She’s so chunky, you have to eat her with a fork.”

“Chunky, chunky 2 by 4, can’t get through the kitchen door.”

I made myself believe the people who said those things to me were just ‘ribbing’ me. Like they would one of the guys. And so then, I became one of the guys. Because THAT was the safest thing to do. If you’re one of the guys, then you don’t expect to get a boyfriend. You’re not going to, anyway. Boys don’t like curvy girls. So I threw a football better than most dudes, I played all the sports and became better friends with the boys than I did with most of the girls. I also threw myself into every extracurricular activity I could, from Student Senate to Class Officer. I was the most unpopular popular kid in high school.

It’s funny, our perceptions of each other growing up. I felt like nobody knew me, like I was just so-n-so’s sidekick, I was the fat friend with a good personality, the pity date, the third wheel.  So when I went to college, I still had this weird, self-perception.

But now, 30 years later, even though I fight those old feelings, I actually feel pretty fucking swell. I’ve got some amazing friends, a super amazing boyfriend and my kids–I survived high school so I could be the kind of mom I am today. And I wake up happy everyday (even when I don’t want to get out of bed because the sleep won’t leave my face!) It’s nice, this swellness I have on my inside parts.

I think that’s why I get so bent out of shape about bullying these days. And I’m not even talking about mean kids being mean. That sucks and it needs to be stopped. I’m talking about adult bullying kids but calling it ‘parenting.’ If your kid goes through life feeling worthless because you called her a whore for wearing too much makeup to a party or an inappropriate dress or you tell her girls with those size thighs can’t wear those skirts…or girls with no boobs shouldn’t put on boob dresses….then you’re being a bully. You’re not parenting, you’re shaming. My parents are amazing grandparents, but when I had the boys, I made it very clear to them… they were never to feel shame for asking questions or wearing something that looked horrible but they picked it out themselves. They were never to be called names EVER. Because shaming is not good parenting. Luckily, I broke free of that pattern, but a lot of kids grow up to be the same kind of parents… It’s not fair to their kids.

/soap box for the day

Have I shown y’all my summer look? Or what I PLAN to be my summer look?

b565857d7fcc88210771ed351333ced1I’m gonna rock this look all summer long, and sparkle while I’m doing it…

This picture inspired me… :

480900_451243814958361_1530752660_nHow to get a bikini body: PUT A BIKINI ON YOUR BODY. Yeah yeah, that’s actually a 2-piece not a bikini. I’m confident but not THAT confident. LOL

Anyway, y’all do something kind for yourself today. And smile. You know smiling is contagious…right?

smoooove

So, I’ve been on an eternal quest for a healthier lifestyle…for oh, let’s say, eternity.

In March, I added a new skin care regime, because as I lose weight, it is highly possibly that I’ll get wrinkles. And as a woman of 44 years, who still gets carded on a regular basis, the last thing I need or want is to get wrinkles. At least, not yet.

I’ve been using Meaningful Beauty for 3 full months now, and this is me today, without any makeup on and no filters.

Today: No makeup. Fewer laugh lines and crows feet

Today: No makeup. Fewer laugh lines and crows feet

Not too bad for a 44 year old broad, huh? I was trying to find a good comparison picture. I found 1 that would work, but I have full makeup and glasses on so it was difficult to see the difference around the eyes. However the difference around the mouth is pretty significant.

Now, I purchased this product, so MB isn’t paying me anything to review it. Here’s what I have to say.

Yes, my skin looks fantastic and feels SMOOOOOOVE like a baby’s bottom. I’ve noticed a definite fading of crow’s feet and my laugh lines (which I actually love) are noticeably less prominent. I have no issues going without makeup (even though I need new lashes ASAP. Has anyone seen my eyes? Yeah, me either.)

I’m not a huge fan of the cleansing lotion. It doesn’t foam or bubble up, and I feel like I’m having to use more of it than I should. The kit doesn’t come with a night cream, so I use the day cream at night. That’s a huge disappointment. You have the option to ‘customize’ your kit and can add the night cream that way.

I also do not like the “club” set up, however, I have my automatic delivery for 20 weeks, which I can change at any time if I run low. That’s a nice option. Most “clubs” force your into a 90 Day /12 week automatic delivery.

The price point isn’t bad, especially if you set up your delivery for 4 months or more. I don’t need to use a lot of product, one little dab will do ya… or at least it does me. I’ve decided to keep using the product for at least one more round.

In Eating Cleaner news:

I fired up the grill and loaded it with some awesome locally grown veggies this weekend. Sweet potatoes, asparagus, okra, squash, green beans, tomatoes. I also grilled some pineapple, which was oh so yummy. We ate very well this weekend, let me tell ya.

I walked every day for an hour. Monday was hard because Sunday I had some girlfriends over and we enjoyed muy wine. I’ll have you know, I still did not go over my calories for the day, thankyouverymuch.

In OMG how awesome news, I met Ian’s friend-girl this week. (OMG, she’s adorbs). I’m not sure if they’re going to officially ‘date’ or not, it’s really not my business yet (it won’t be until it’s her birthday or Christmas, and then I’ll need to know if I need to buy her a present or not. Haha) But anyway, we were all hanging out on Wednesday and we were talking about parents and parenting styles etc., and I made a comment that sometimes parents have really high expectations of their kids and no matter what they accomplish, it won’t be enough because they expect more. (this is a concept I don’t understand as a parent, but I understand as a kid of those parents.) I said, “for example, I’ve published two young adult novels with a very prestigious publisher, and sometimes I think my mom still thinks I could do better.” She stopped and looked at me and said, “Wait. You’re Melissa Francis? As in BITE ME AND LOVE SUCKS Melissa Francis?”

Me: Yep.

Friend-Girl: OMG I LOVE YOUR BOOKS!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE THAT MELISSA FRANCIS.

Me: Happy happy joy joy can’t stop smiling.

And in other O517I1Qi7nnL._SY300_MG Awesome News…I got to see my Stacey Jay this weekend! Have you pre-ordered her latest book yet? WHY NOT?

OF BEAST AND BEAUTY

order it. devour it. review it. and email Stacey and tell her she is made of awesome. (because she totes is).

Find Stacey on Facebook

Stacey on the web

Stacey on Twitter: @stacey_jay

Okay, there’s my weekend recap. It was a great weekend. The boys enjoyed Riverfest. Jefe and I enjoyed each other and the beautiful weather, and I also enjoyed my girl time with some of my besties. Life doesn’t suck.

weekend wrap up

El Jefe and I spent Friday afternoon at Pinnacle mountain walking the dogs and having a generally fantastic day.

Saturday, we met my friend from Oxford, Rhonda, and her pals for breakfast in the Rivermarket, then the rest of the day was spent mowing and moving dead limbs.

Ruby wants to steal my boyfriend away. Sorry Rubes. John Deere loves me more.

Sunday was Funday. Brunch with the boys and Lynne. We had the most difficult time finding a place to eat, so we finally wound up on the patio at Big Whiskeys.

Rader and Laken hung out like big buds the whole time. There was even a dance-off at one point. I think Laken was the winner, but don’t tell Rader. He’s sensitive about that stuff.

After lunch, Rader had his first driving lesson. He did a great job! Then Ian drove me to US Pizza where we sat on the patio again, while Rader played some pickup soccer.

All in all it was a fantabulous weekend. The pollen has decided to invade my sinus cavities, but it’s not too bad, yet. I just need to take a little claritin and move on.

Hope your weekend was as amazing as mine!

feelin’ SASSY!

I’m talking about motivation, failure and success at FCR today. Go forth and read.

I thought I was going to gnaw my arm off yesterday afternoon around 4:30. I’ve been eating a ton of protein, but I guess my activity increase has motivated my metabolism to jump into gear, (this is a good thing) and by yesterday afternoon, I could’ve chased down a wildebeest and eaten it live in 4.5 seconds.

Instead, I went home and hurriedly put together a very high protein wrap and drank some roasted dandelion tea.  And I was full for the rest of the night.

And I woke this morning, full sass and sparkle. I hope you guys are wearing your shades, because I’m shining bright!

So rapid topic change…some of you folks need to stop taking FB so damn seriously. For REALZ. First off, if you have to qualify every freakin’ post on your own page with something like “Don’t be a hater, but…” or “This is MY opinion only, don’t hate…” then probably, you’re wrapping your ‘opinion’ in a bundle of judgement. And that’s okay, it’s your page, but if you’re not comfortable with the response you are going to get, then probably you should rethink your post.  Either own your feelings or bury them on the inside. Stop getting so defensive. (Probably, you wouldn’t be so defensive if you didn’t have some passive-aggressive alternate point to your post anyway.)

Just know, if you’re always posting life drama or hating on someone or ‘qualifying’ all your ‘controversial’ opinions…I’m hiding you from my news feed. I don’t need the negativity. I’ve spent months ridding myself of it…and since I find FB to be a place to be playful and fun, your constant pettiness and vitriol is not for me. You’re welcome to continue to drown yourself in it–it’s your page after all. I just choose to smile and click “hide from news feed.”

And this…is how I choose to live. It’s amazing how great I feel now that I’ve changed my attitude. It was a lot of work (and still is) but it was totally worth it.

Happy Tuesday! I hit the gym at lunch, am walking after work, then I’m getting my lashes refilled. Tomorrow is supposed to be hella stormy, and seriously, I’m kind of excited about it. I love a good spring thunderstorm…as long as nobody is hurt.

Stay sassy and carry on, bitches!

Workout Wednesday…

My days of Wine Wednesdays are gone for now. Do I miss them? Well, sure! I miss hanging with my girls on Wednesdays the most…however, I’m really enjoying my workouts, too. And I love the way my body is responding to regaining its fitness.

Yesterday, I added five 30 second sprints throughout my 30 minute run. I read that adding sprints to your runs will actually help you burn an additional 200 calories. It also increases your endurance without increasing your workout time. Since I’m working 7 days a week and it’s still getting dark too early, I can’t do my once-a-week long endurance walk/run. So I have to try to increase my endurance in the shortest amount of time possible.

I’m super-stoked about doing the 1/2 Marathon again.

I was a little disappointed to discover that recording my abdominal workouts on myfitnesspal.com doesn’t actually give me credit for additional calories burned. Hmph. I think if I do 200+ crunches a night, I’m burning some damn calories.

OH! And I think my elbow is healed enough that I can start BootyCamp again! I’m graduating myself from Beginner BootyCamp to Big Girl BootyCamp! I’m stoked. I just have to use light weights in the beginning so as not to re-injure my arm.

This weekend, we finally got a chance to start moving the storm debris down to the burn pile. Them was some heavy branches, let me just tell ya. We tried to move the branches in the front yard with the tractor, but they wouldn’t budge. Next up…a chainsaw.

This tree in the backyard is probably going to have to be completely removed. Sigh. It was such a pretty tree…

What’s going on in your world? Any fun news? Anyone really that concerned that Beyonce lip-synced at the Inauguration? no? Me either. This is NOT news, people, nor is it important.

Oh yeah: My Bachelor Recap is up at Hey Don’t Judge Me.…Go read the crazy and fill your eyes with Shirtless Sean…

sassitude

Yeah. I’m wearing my sassy pants today. And they look GOOD  on me, too.

I love it when I wake feeling sassy. There’s nothing like living your life in color, ya know? And since I’m determined to make 2013 my bitch, I’m in living color every day. (Every day I’m not down with the flu that is. heh)

The LR 1/2 Marathon is about 6 weeks away! I’m really looking forward to it, even though I’ll be worn-smooth-out when it’s over. I am gonna be wearing my Funky Tights and a smile. And possibly a tiara–because, why wouldn’t I? I’m down 10 lbs since the beginning of the year and have hopes to be down another 10 by the marathon.  Go TEAM MELF!

Rader and I had a great dinner last night. We were talking about school and his future and where he might want to go to college. He surprised me when he told me he plans to get a full scholarship to UCLA. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no doubt that boy can get a full scholarship anywhere he chooses…I was just really surprised to hear he wants to Left Coast it.

It fits him, though. Completely. He’s my little hippie. He’s very much like his momma. Peace, love and laughter seems to be his life’s motto and California would definitely suit him.

My monkey boy. He’s trying to grow up right in front of me.

we just had ourselves a little Journey moment…

Yes, I’m a little bit excited about this:

Journey, Pat Benatar, and Loverboy in concert….

I even wore Rock-n-Roll hair today to celebrate the awesome. (actually, I wore bed-head hair as rock-n-roll hair but whatever.) See y’all at Verizon on October 9!

BTW, Hit Me With Your Best Shot was once upon a time my go to Karaoke song… There is a picture somewhere from a certain bachelorette party with me and my “date” for the night, (we named him Big Bob) “singing” a duet. Of course Big Bob was so full of hot air that he didn’t really sing at all.

Also, Journey has some of my all time favorite songs ever. Good Morning, Girl has always put a smile on my face…even if it is only 1 minute 44 seconds long.

Happy Friday y’all! Get your rock-n-roll hair on and have your own Journey moment this weekend!

look out world

I believe life should be lived in color…noisy and full of life. Sometimes it’s hard to do, but it is what I strive to do every day.

No matter how awkward it is, you should always be yourself. If others have a problem with your individuality, then that’s THEIR problem. Let them deal with it however they choose.

I say all this because today, my son registered for high school and I’m now officially a “Rocket Mom”. I hope the other Moms at CHS are ready for me…because I’m not your typical Catholic High mom, that’s for sure. Hell, I’m pretty certain I’m not typical at all…

See you around campus! And at the Pep Rallies, and the football games, and the homecoming dance…and whatever else us Rocket Moms are in charge of. Firing up my jet pack!