THE MONTH OF MEL! winding down

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Man, I sure am tired. You guys have worn me out this month. Or I’ve worn myself out. Whatever.

I’ve not done all the items you tasked me to do and I apologize. I should’ve prepared better. Next year, I will ask for your suggestions earlier so that I can plan ahead. (Totally a new concept for me–work with me here)

Last night I went out with some girls from the office and had the best time. I also ran into a friend of mine from high school. She and her friend joined us and the party began. What started out as Happy Hour wound up being a Girl’s Night Out. So much fun! and I was so glad they office girls asked me to join them. I feel like I’m in the circle of trust now.

I love the circle of trust, don’t you?

Tomorrow is my birthday party at Oaklawn. We’re going to have a large crowd as usual. Pictures will be taken and hopefully no liquid hate will be consumed like last year. That did not end well. I will NOT repeat that dastardly event. Ever again.

I’m also counting down to my trip to Orlando. I can’t wait to see Maria Geraci again and be her Bunco Bitch at her Bunco Bash at the Romantic Times Convention.

Thursday, April 23: 2:30 PM – 3:30 PM
READER: BUNCO BABES BASH

THURSDAY: Come join Maria Geraci’s “Bunco Babes Bash”
“The Game that’s sweeping the nation!” A toss of the dice may bring you luck as you roll for prizes and enjoy refreshments, fun, and friends!
Prizes for High Bunco, Bunco Barbie, Bunco Bar Fly, Bunco Nazi… You get the drift, what happens at Bunco stays at Bunco. Come join us for the parlor game that has a long and “dicey” history!
Hosted by: Maria Geraci

I seriously cannot wait.

What’s going on this weekend for you guys? Anything fun?

THE MONTH OF MEL! Day 26

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Wow, this has been a crazy busy week.

I think I crashed hard on Tuesday from the major endorphin tattoo rush I had on Monday. It was nuts how tired I was. I was sucking down Diet Mountain Dew like it would keep me young. It neither kept me young or kept me awake.

I was asleep by 9 that night. Exhausted.

Then yesterday, even though I was well rested, I was still a little out of it. I think my mojo is out of whack because the kids are on spring break and so my routine is off. I completely forgot to blog yesterday. That’s just not normal for me.

The tattoo is still beautiful and I still adore it. It doesn’t hurt, but it feels like a slight sunburn. The skin is tight and the design is raised so it feels like braille. My kids are fascinated by it. Rader want to touch it all the time. I’ve probably created a monster with that little dude. Which is fine, as long as they wait until they’re 18 I don’t care what they do to their body. (Okay, there are some things I care about, but honestly, they’re the ones who have to live with it, not me…)

I’ve been stopped twice by strangers to ask me about who my artist was and compliment the design. That’s surprised me. Not that people think the design is beautiful, but being stopped. Either way, I love that people appreciate it like I do.

I can’t wait until my friend Carla gets the rest of her pictures downloaded so that I can steal some. She is an amazing photographer. When the tattoo is completely healed, I’m going to have her take some more pictures for me.

THE MONTH OF MEL! the tattoo…

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Believe it or not, I almost fell asleep a couple of times. I’m not kidding. Ask Arkansas Cyndi and my friend Carla (who took this beautiful picture). I was so relaxed when he was working on my shoulder and chest that I started drifting off.Photo Credit: Carla Koen

I was nervous but excited. I had waited forever for this tattoo and wanted it to be perfect. I also wanted it to mean something to me. So when I met with Jud at 7th Street Tattoo and told him what I wanted , I was very pleased when he got me.

(BTW, I totally have a crush now. He put up with me and my pals beautifully. Not sure how he managed, but he did. Jud is a rock star of epic proportions)

When Carla and I got there, I signed some paperwork acknowledging that I wasn’t pregnant, diseased, and that I was fully aware this was a PERMANENT CHANGE TO MY BODY. Um, yeah. I’m aware. The irony was not lost on me that someone somewhere sued a tattooist because he couldn’t wash off the skull and crossbones with the pretty pink bow after a drunken night out with buddies.

Here I am with just the outline:
You can see he’d started working on the color on my shoulder there.

The outline is supposed to be the most painful. I seriously found it uncomfortable at most with a couple of times being a 7/10 on the pain scale. There was never a time I couldn’t manage it and there were a few times it actually felt good. Like I said, when he worked on my chest, I nearly fell asleep a couple of times. (except when he was on my collarbone. THAT did not feel good at all.)

ArkansasCyndi came in after a while and she took some pics as well. Check out her blog for her story about her first time in a tattoo parlor.

The detail work to the bee and dragonfly on my back was the most painful at times. But again, it was sporadic and not unbearable.


Here’s the finished product. I wanted daisies which are my favorite flower, a dragonfly which is my totem, and a honeybee which is what Melissa means in Greek.

More to the story later, hope you enjoy the pics. Thanks again to Carla and Cyndi for stopping by and keeping me company! Love you girls!

THE MONTH OF MEL! Tattoo day!

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Today’s the day I mark off one of my 40 Things to do at 40 list.

I’m getting my first tattoo. And it isn’t gonna be a small little girly tattoo at the ankle or a tramp stamp. Or hidden somewhere.

Nope. It’s gonna be large and in charge and gorgeous. (Much like me, yes?)

Okay, it’s not large. But it sounds like it is because of where it will be. It’s going to travel along the outside of my left shoulder blade with a *sooper sekrit* thing in the center of my back. Then another *sooper sekrit* thing curving over my shoulder blade, then another one on the rounded part of my shoulder, and a final one on my chest above my heart. There will also be two other small things added to the design. One that signifies my name and the other thing that is my totem. (y’all could totally guess those two bits if you wanted to) Actually, if you know me well enough, you could guess the whole design because it is very much me. It’s really a very simple design. I saw the mock up Saturday evening and I’m totally stoked.

Still wondering what my mother is gonna say…that’s gonna be fun. She’ll probably pretend she didn’t see it and never mention it, just like she did with my nose piercing.

So get ready for pics today. I’ll be twittering (or having someone twitter for me) as it happens and posting pics there and on Facebook. Then I’ll download the rest of the photos when I get home so you can all see evidence of my pain and of my beautiful artwork.

Today is awesome.

The MONTH OF MEL! Not feeling the blog luv today

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Yeah, I’m just not feelin’ it. I think I’m finally on a blog crash after such a big week!

Last night I had dinner with an old friend. We figured out that it has been 19 years since we were last together. (we ran into each other briefly when I was pregnant with Rader, but that doesn’t count) We laughed and argued a lot. It was great. I love to argue. Seriously, I have a gift.

Today I had lunch with my girlfriend TK. I brought Rader and she had her daughter as well. If that kick to my shin under the table was any indication, I think Rader may have had a wee crush on her daughter.

I’m supposed to be cleaning my stinky house right now, but I’m not. I really need to go take a nap after my burger and malt lunch. Maybe I’ll nap first, clean later?

Yeah. That sounds like a plan.

Peace! If you guys have anything to talk about, please feel free to use my comment section to discuss.

THE MONTH OF MEL CONTINUES TO BE GREAT!

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It’s official. I’m a real author now. I have books. Real books. Sure, they’re uncorrected proofs of my book, but they’re still in book form. With a cover. And my name. And my pic on the back.
I AM AWESOME.

This is the best MONTH OF MEL! ever.

sorry for the mobile phone quality.

Things that may or may not have happened last night after I opened the box:

  1. I cried
  2. I laughed and squeal
  3. I smelled the book
  4. I immediately tweeted and posted to Facebook
  5. I had a celebratory Guinness at my fave restaurant.
  6. I slept with them. Naked.

You decide which of these may or may not be true.

THE MONTH OF MEL: day 18 CONTEST WINNERS!

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Okay, so I had a hard time picking a favorite of my limericks yesterday. WAY hard. I mean, any limerick that can incorporate “Chinchilla” in it, deserves major kudos.

And of course, there is the whole, “..MILF for the masses, she rocks ginger asses…” line which deserves to be bronzed.

Lucy called me a Southern Belle and I suddenly had a case of the vapors. Where’s my Rhett Butler? I need him to catch me as I swoon.

I honestly had a hard time picking a favorite. So, I decided to use Random.org and let fate pick for me!

Congrats to Elaina (#4) and Jeanne St. James (#10) (btw, I counted Elaina’s 4th Limerick for Marcus…)

That’s right! I decided the entries were so good, I had to give away 2 copies!!!!

Ladies email me your address and who you would like your copy signed to at tellmel@melissafrancis.net and I’ll ship them to you as soon as they arrive (should be today or tomorrow)

Here are all the entries. I have to say, I giggled all day. And I also couldn’t stop thinking in limericks…

Elaina Huntley said…
There once was a Diva named Mel
Who ran a 5k-What the Hell?
She finished ahead
Then went straight home to bed
Bite Me, is all she would yell
3/17/2009 07:29:00 AM

Elaina Huntley said…
A Diva named Mel wrote a book
Then shouted “Hey everyone look!”
My cover, she rocks
Oh and check out my socks
Then Bite Me, cause duh it’s the hook
3/17/2009 07:36:00 AM

R F Long said…
If you’re going to get our Mel’s book
to read in a dark, cosy nook
The secret is clear
And there’s no need to fear
her a sexy librarian look.
3/17/2009 08:06:00 AM

Elaina Huntley said… Last One! LOL
Bite Me, a book that is new
From our very own Mel Diva, True!
A MILF I aspire
She said with such fire
The balls of the boys all turned blue.

marcus said… I’m stuck with just a piece of limerick, the center part that I want to have go like this :
“..MILF for the masses,she rocks ginger asses…”
Elaina–can you work with that? ’cause I’m naming you Mistress O’Limericks
3/17/2009 08:28:00 AM

Elaina Huntley said…
Mel’O Diva said ‘y’all don’t you fret’
A turn on each hunk I will get
A MILF for the masses
She rocks ginger asses
And look, not even a sweat!
(How’s that marcus??) LOL

prabjohn said…
Mel is a chick, who writes, blogs, and twits.
About Bite Me, Fish Dog, and various shit.
She finished her 5K.
In less than half a day.
Which left her ample time to suck it.
3/17/2009 08:47:00 AM

Bonnie Ferguson said…
‘Tis March cried a blogger with glee
Known as the Month of Mel to all and sundry
Mel O’Drama, a fine Irish lass
Who’s more than once uttered: Kiss my Ass
Has written a grand tome titled Bite Me!
3/17/2009 01:34:00 PM

Rhoda said…
She runs, writes, bitches and blogs,
but I swear this lady could balance on logs.
She wrote a new book due out in month eight of 0-nine,
and I hope the advanced copy ends up being mine!
3/17/2009 01:46:00 PM

Rhoda said… #2
Melissa Francis, that fiction chick
bitches ’bout fiction like it’s gonna make her rich.
That fun lovin’ Mel is drama-swell,
Now let’s stop and read ‘bite me’, or she’ll curse us to hell.

Jeanne St. James said…
On a day meant for celebrating St.Paddy’s
There was a girl named Mel who liked handsome laddies
She wrote a book
With sharp teeth as the hook
If you read her story “Bite Me” you won’t have the saddies.
3/17/2009 05:00:00 PM

Lucy said…
There once was a trainer from hell
Who coached a sweet Southern Belle
When it came time to race
She kept up the pace
‘Cause that’s just the way of our Mel
3/17/2009 05:42:00 PM

Lucy said…
There once was an exercise class
Of which Mel considered no pass
She thought it was Rumba
Turned out it was Zumba
Yet still she thought it a gas
3/17/2009 05:49:00 PM

Lucy said…
There once was a writer named Mel
Who wrote YA hoping to sell
Her brand’s ‘Bitchin’ Fiction’
Just thought I would mention
Buy ‘Bite Me’ or get ready for hell
3/17/2009 06:35:00 PM

prabjohn said…
Ms.Mel, Hogzilla, or Boobszilla?
“Bite Me” coming soon to your villa
If you don’t buy and read
On your neck she will feed
Or on your nuts sick a chinchilla.
3/17/2009 09:45:00 PM

prabjohn said…
Vampires love blood in their tummy
Oh Mel, this may make you feel crummy
Since they don’t floss and brush
Do their teeth turn to mush?
Therfore, should the book be called “Gum Me.” <—OK seriously, that's just funny.
3/17/2009 10:04:00 PM

SheWolfSilver said…
It is the month of Mel
A very sexy bombshell.
A Diva who wrote a book.
What you ask is the hook?
I need something to read So, I wrote this for greed.

Paradox said…
AJ Ashe is a bit of a liar,
with a secret, in danger most dire.
“I’m normal,” she said,
though in fact she’s undead,
your everyday teenage vampire. (Paradox, this is excellent for having just read the ‘books’ page! Thank you for playing!)

I had two limericks enter via FB last night at 8:07 pm. I’m adding them here so they will count.
From Glenn:
limerick #1
There once was a writer named Mel,
From her hands best sellers they fell.
Her fans were all lined upAt Borders, Bretanos,
And everywhere where books they sell.

limerick #2
There once was a princess named Mel;
Her awesomeness easy to tell;
Her subjects all loved her,
A feminine wonder,
A Venus reposed on her shell.

Now do you see why it was so hard for me to choose??? Y’all are all awesome. I felt the limerick love, and am still all a green-glow today. (is that anything like being a teenage mutant ninja turtle?)

The MONTH OF MEL: DAY 17 a contest for an ARC of BITE ME!

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HAPPY KISS ME BECAUSE I LIKE GINGERS DAY! ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

So….Guess what?

I give you all a free pass to pinch me. That’s right. Even though I’m clearly wearing green, you’re allowed to pinch me.

You’re welcome.

Guess what else?

I’m supposed to be getting some BITE ME! ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) this week! And because I’m feeling so generous (it is the MONTH OF MEL after all) I’m thinking of giving one away.

Here’s the deal. In honor of St. Patrick’s Day we’re gonna be writing Limericks!

Limericks rock.

If you want to win an advanced copy of my AWESOME book BITE ME! then here are the rules:

  1. The limerick subject has to have something to do with Me, my book, or my blog
  2. It’s okay if the limerick dirty, but please try to make it closer to PG-13 than XXX.
  3. You can enter up to 3 limericks. (If you enter more, I will only count the first 3)
  4. This will be totally subjective, as I will pick the winner. No random drawing this time! So make me laugh and you get a chance to win!
  5. You have to write and post a review of BITE ME! If you don’t have a website, you can email me your review and I’ll post it here. Yes, even if you didn’t like it. I know it won’t be for everyone and I’m okay with that. I will also link to your review once you have it posted if you’ll notify me.
  6. You have until midnight CST March 17 to enter. (1:00 a.m. EST/10:00 p.m. PST)

Now, who wants to play?

The MONTH OF MEL: DAY 16–IAN’S BDAY!

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Dear Ian, I mean, Nemo,

You don’t look like this anymore

or this:

or this:

or even this:

But you’ll always be my baby. I can’t believe you’re 15 years old today. First of all, I’m way too young, and way too hot to be the mother of a 15 year old child. Secondly, what happened to the tee-tiny little baby, whose butt was so small it fit in the palm of my hand?

I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming (even though your grades still need some work.) (You knew I had to mention your grades, right?)

You know I how much I love you when I’m willing to give up a day in the MONTH OF MEL! just for you!