stuff and such and a giveaway!

More great reviews for LOVE SUCKS! and also a give away…

Book Chic

Book Scout <=== pop over and comment on the review and you'll be entered in the drawing to win a signed copy of LOVE SUCKS!

So, onto the “stuff and such” portion of today’s blog.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted a do over? Yesterday started out fine. I was in a great mood. Had a great Sunday night. Other than being a little sleepy, I almost actually looking forward to the day ahead.

And then *it* happened.

I’m not exactly sure what *it* is, but I know that suddenly, the day just seemed to take a big ol’ dump on me. Somehow, someway, for some reason my good day turned to poo so by the time the boys and I got home, I was Mrs. Crankypants.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when Mrs. Crankypants takes over, things don’t ever seem to improve. I try to make Mrs. Cp go away, but she doesn’t. And then the boys start bickering and smart off to me, and then Ruby the Pug and Clementine the Tart get into it like cartoon cats and dogs, and then my full glass of wine (KIM CATTRAL CRAWFORD wine at that!) got knocked to floor…and shattered. And I still had to do dishes and get laundry going.

Thankfully, I had an unopened bottle of wine. I did my chores, poured me a lovely glass, and sat down to chill. Then I kicked Rader’s tail at some Uno while we watched LIE TO ME. (then he kicked mine, then I kicked his, then he kicked mine. We quit while we were Even)

I went to bed and slept like the dead. And this morning, I saw a beautiful sunrise while driving Rader to football practice. Today is gonna be a good day. I think I’ll have an Atomic Fireball to celebrate…

the twitter winner & my daddy

Congratulations MAD! you were my pick for my book! Contact me at with mailing information and who you would like the book signed to!

Yesterday on a whim, I did a little twitter experiment. (Would that be a twitterment?)

I announced a Twitter only contest. If you leave a comment on yesterday’s blog, you’d be entered for a chance to win an ARC of BITE ME!

I did this for a couple of reasons. One, I wanted to test the power of twitter. Would my blog traffic increase? Would I get some new twitter-followers? Would I get some new commenters on my blog or gain new blog readers?

My blog traffic exploded. It was a slow morning, when I posted the tweet, I only had 64 hits to my blog. 15 minutes later, I had 124. That’s a pretty big increase! I gained new followers and new commenters and we’ll see if I gained some new blog readers. Not sure about that one yet.

Twitter is a pretty amazing social network. My contest was ‘Re-Tweeted’ and spread across the Twitterverse. Never deny the power of a tweet…

Thanks to everyone who stopped by. I hope you’ll continue to come back and play. There’s always something going on here in Melville. (Like Whoville, only better.)

Now onto today’s random thought about my daddy.

Last night was the first real severe weather of the season (usually by now, we’ve had two or three ugly storms come through, but this has been an unusual winter/spring here in Arkansas) Anyway, we were watching TV and good old Ed Buckner interrupts (which I’ll admit pisses me off. I know it shouldn’t but dammit, I’m in the middle of a really interesting show and you’re interrupting to tell me the storm has just crossed into Arkansas? I’m 250 miles away, dude. /rant) But Ed does say something that interested me. The storm was about an hour away from Mt. Ida.

Mt Ida is a tiny little community about 15 minutes from my parents place on Lake Ouachita (it’s pronounced Wash-i-tah not Oh-u-a-cheetah). My daddy pretty much stays up at the lake in the spring and summer. So I called to warn him b/c there really is no telling if he’s paying attention or not.

I forgot it was poker night, so he wasn’t up at the lake. This is a good thing.

Anyway, when I call, he answers the phone and I hear all the old man ruckus in the background. (Have you ever heard old man ruckus? It’s a hoot) There’s something about my daddy that cracks me up every time. (Besides the fact that every one of our phone calls is almost exactly the same no matter the topic. Seriously. We can discuss tornados, fishing, cancer, politics or watching the grass grow and they are all the same.) That’s not what cracks me up the most.


My daddy can’t say ‘I.’ As in “I love you.” “I thank you.” “I smell what you’re stepping in.” “I know what you did last summer.”


He says ‘we.’

Me: Daddy there’s a tornader headed to Mt. Ida, but I hear the Grumpy Men Brigade in the background, so you’re not at the lake are ya?

Daddy: Naw. It’s poker night. But we thanky (prounounced thankee) for callin’.

Me: No prob. Just didn’t want you to be swept off your feet and unprepared.

Daddy: Naw but we appreciatey. (this is appreciate you, btw)

Me: Have fun. Love ya, Daddy.

Daddy: Weloveytoo. (all one word. the quicker the better)

This conversation cracks me up. EVERY TIME. I have made it my goal in life to get an ‘I’ out of him just once. The man is 73 years old and so far, I’m failing at my mission.

But it will happen. You’ll see.

We thanky for readin’ today. Come back soon, ya hear?


Okay, so I had a hard time picking a favorite of my limericks yesterday. WAY hard. I mean, any limerick that can incorporate “Chinchilla” in it, deserves major kudos.

And of course, there is the whole, “..MILF for the masses, she rocks ginger asses…” line which deserves to be bronzed.

Lucy called me a Southern Belle and I suddenly had a case of the vapors. Where’s my Rhett Butler? I need him to catch me as I swoon.

I honestly had a hard time picking a favorite. So, I decided to use and let fate pick for me!

Congrats to Elaina (#4) and Jeanne St. James (#10) (btw, I counted Elaina’s 4th Limerick for Marcus…)

That’s right! I decided the entries were so good, I had to give away 2 copies!!!!

Ladies email me your address and who you would like your copy signed to at and I’ll ship them to you as soon as they arrive (should be today or tomorrow)

Here are all the entries. I have to say, I giggled all day. And I also couldn’t stop thinking in limericks…

Elaina Huntley said…
There once was a Diva named Mel
Who ran a 5k-What the Hell?
She finished ahead
Then went straight home to bed
Bite Me, is all she would yell
3/17/2009 07:29:00 AM

Elaina Huntley said…
A Diva named Mel wrote a book
Then shouted “Hey everyone look!”
My cover, she rocks
Oh and check out my socks
Then Bite Me, cause duh it’s the hook
3/17/2009 07:36:00 AM

R F Long said…
If you’re going to get our Mel’s book
to read in a dark, cosy nook
The secret is clear
And there’s no need to fear
her a sexy librarian look.
3/17/2009 08:06:00 AM

Elaina Huntley said… Last One! LOL
Bite Me, a book that is new
From our very own Mel Diva, True!
A MILF I aspire
She said with such fire
The balls of the boys all turned blue.

marcus said… I’m stuck with just a piece of limerick, the center part that I want to have go like this :
“..MILF for the masses,she rocks ginger asses…”
Elaina–can you work with that? ’cause I’m naming you Mistress O’Limericks
3/17/2009 08:28:00 AM

Elaina Huntley said…
Mel’O Diva said ‘y’all don’t you fret’
A turn on each hunk I will get
A MILF for the masses
She rocks ginger asses
And look, not even a sweat!
(How’s that marcus??) LOL

prabjohn said…
Mel is a chick, who writes, blogs, and twits.
About Bite Me, Fish Dog, and various shit.
She finished her 5K.
In less than half a day.
Which left her ample time to suck it.
3/17/2009 08:47:00 AM

Bonnie Ferguson said…
‘Tis March cried a blogger with glee
Known as the Month of Mel to all and sundry
Mel O’Drama, a fine Irish lass
Who’s more than once uttered: Kiss my Ass
Has written a grand tome titled Bite Me!
3/17/2009 01:34:00 PM

Rhoda said…
She runs, writes, bitches and blogs,
but I swear this lady could balance on logs.
She wrote a new book due out in month eight of 0-nine,
and I hope the advanced copy ends up being mine!
3/17/2009 01:46:00 PM

Rhoda said… #2
Melissa Francis, that fiction chick
bitches ’bout fiction like it’s gonna make her rich.
That fun lovin’ Mel is drama-swell,
Now let’s stop and read ‘bite me’, or she’ll curse us to hell.

Jeanne St. James said…
On a day meant for celebrating St.Paddy’s
There was a girl named Mel who liked handsome laddies
She wrote a book
With sharp teeth as the hook
If you read her story “Bite Me” you won’t have the saddies.
3/17/2009 05:00:00 PM

Lucy said…
There once was a trainer from hell
Who coached a sweet Southern Belle
When it came time to race
She kept up the pace
‘Cause that’s just the way of our Mel
3/17/2009 05:42:00 PM

Lucy said…
There once was an exercise class
Of which Mel considered no pass
She thought it was Rumba
Turned out it was Zumba
Yet still she thought it a gas
3/17/2009 05:49:00 PM

Lucy said…
There once was a writer named Mel
Who wrote YA hoping to sell
Her brand’s ‘Bitchin’ Fiction’
Just thought I would mention
Buy ‘Bite Me’ or get ready for hell
3/17/2009 06:35:00 PM

prabjohn said…
Ms.Mel, Hogzilla, or Boobszilla?
“Bite Me” coming soon to your villa
If you don’t buy and read
On your neck she will feed
Or on your nuts sick a chinchilla.
3/17/2009 09:45:00 PM

prabjohn said…
Vampires love blood in their tummy
Oh Mel, this may make you feel crummy
Since they don’t floss and brush
Do their teeth turn to mush?
Therfore, should the book be called “Gum Me.” <—OK seriously, that's just funny.
3/17/2009 10:04:00 PM

SheWolfSilver said…
It is the month of Mel
A very sexy bombshell.
A Diva who wrote a book.
What you ask is the hook?
I need something to read So, I wrote this for greed.

Paradox said…
AJ Ashe is a bit of a liar,
with a secret, in danger most dire.
“I’m normal,” she said,
though in fact she’s undead,
your everyday teenage vampire. (Paradox, this is excellent for having just read the ‘books’ page! Thank you for playing!)

I had two limericks enter via FB last night at 8:07 pm. I’m adding them here so they will count.
From Glenn:
limerick #1
There once was a writer named Mel,
From her hands best sellers they fell.
Her fans were all lined upAt Borders, Bretanos,
And everywhere where books they sell.

limerick #2
There once was a princess named Mel;
Her awesomeness easy to tell;
Her subjects all loved her,
A feminine wonder,
A Venus reposed on her shell.

Now do you see why it was so hard for me to choose??? Y’all are all awesome. I felt the limerick love, and am still all a green-glow today. (is that anything like being a teenage mutant ninja turtle?)

winners and the weekend…

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! to Kimmie1111 and MJ!

I used a Random Number Generator (aka Rader) to pick 2 numbers between 1 and 25 and you two are the lucky winners! Shoot me an email through my contact page with your mailing address and I’ll pop the books in the mail to you on Monday!

Now I’m off to Oxford this weekend…but this time, I’m totally stoked! Oxford is hosting the 1st Presidential Debate and I’m going to be there! I have my ticket for the Democratic Watch Party, my friend Andrea has bought me my Obama shirt, and I’m totally going to be stalking Samantha Bee or Rob Riggle if they’re there. (please let them be there, PLEASE!) So watch for me…

I’ll be tweeting from my phone and trying to take lots of pics, so you guys follow me! Also, I’ll try blogging as much as I can. I can’t wait.


and the winner(s) is (are)

I’m sorry I haven’t been around for a couple of days. I swear, I had intended to post the winners earlier this week, but I got swallowed up in a time-warp-bubble.

Last week, I ran a lolcat caption contest because my damn cat got stuck in the drywall. If you haven’t read the story, read it here.

Okay, so we have a couple of winners. First of all, this one made me laugh out loud until I snorted. yes. I snort. What do you care?

Of course, it was my husband’s entry, therefore it doesn’t count. However, I had to give him kudos because it was awesome.

Fishdog, you win my heart. How’s that?

We have 2 REAL winners. ArkansasCyndi also made me snort with her entry. I must have a thing for insulation.

And Cholsted’s 6 year old daughter won me over with her comment.

Cyndi and Cholsted, email me at and I’ll get your prizes to you!

I enjoyed all the entries, but I had to pick the winners based on my laugh-o-meter. (okay, and the whole 6 year old thing got me.) I enjoyed this so much, I think we’ll have another contest soon…