Okay, so I had a hard time picking a favorite of my limericks yesterday. WAY hard. I mean, any limerick that can incorporate “Chinchilla” in it, deserves major kudos.
And of course, there is the whole, “..MILF for the masses, she rocks ginger asses…” line which deserves to be bronzed.
Lucy called me a Southern Belle and I suddenly had a case of the vapors. Where’s my Rhett Butler? I need him to catch me as I swoon.
I honestly had a hard time picking a favorite. So, I decided to use Random.org and let fate pick for me!
Congrats to Elaina (#4) and Jeanne St. James (#10) (btw, I counted Elaina’s 4th Limerick for Marcus…)
That’s right! I decided the entries were so good, I had to give away 2 copies!!!!
Ladies email me your address and who you would like your copy signed to at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll ship them to you as soon as they arrive (should be today or tomorrow)
Here are all the entries. I have to say, I giggled all day. And I also couldn’t stop thinking in limericks…
Elaina Huntley said…
There once was a Diva named Mel
Who ran a 5k-What the Hell?
She finished ahead
Then went straight home to bed
Bite Me, is all she would yell
3/17/2009 07:29:00 AM
Elaina Huntley said…
A Diva named Mel wrote a book
Then shouted “Hey everyone look!”
My cover, she rocks
Oh and check out my socks
Then Bite Me, cause duh it’s the hook
3/17/2009 07:36:00 AM
R F Long said…
If you’re going to get our Mel’s book
to read in a dark, cosy nook
The secret is clear
And there’s no need to fear
her a sexy librarian look.
3/17/2009 08:06:00 AM
Elaina Huntley said… Last One! LOL
Bite Me, a book that is new
From our very own Mel Diva, True!
A MILF I aspire
She said with such fire
The balls of the boys all turned blue.
marcus said… I’m stuck with just a piece of limerick, the center part that I want to have go like this :
“..MILF for the masses,she rocks ginger asses…”
Elaina–can you work with that? ’cause I’m naming you Mistress O’Limericks
3/17/2009 08:28:00 AM
Elaina Huntley said…
Mel’O Diva said ‘y’all don’t you fret’
A turn on each hunk I will get
A MILF for the masses
She rocks ginger asses
And look, not even a sweat!
(How’s that marcus??) LOL
Mel is a chick, who writes, blogs, and twits.
About Bite Me, Fish Dog, and various shit.
She finished her 5K.
In less than half a day.
Which left her ample time to suck it.
3/17/2009 08:47:00 AM
Bonnie Ferguson said…
‘Tis March cried a blogger with glee
Known as the Month of Mel to all and sundry
Mel O’Drama, a fine Irish lass
Who’s more than once uttered: Kiss my Ass
Has written a grand tome titled Bite Me!
3/17/2009 01:34:00 PM
She runs, writes, bitches and blogs,
but I swear this lady could balance on logs.
She wrote a new book due out in month eight of 0-nine,
and I hope the advanced copy ends up being mine!
3/17/2009 01:46:00 PM
Rhoda said… #2
Melissa Francis, that fiction chick
bitches ’bout fiction like it’s gonna make her rich.
That fun lovin’ Mel is drama-swell,
Now let’s stop and read ‘bite me’, or she’ll curse us to hell.
Jeanne St. James said…
On a day meant for celebrating St.Paddy’s
There was a girl named Mel who liked handsome laddies
She wrote a book
With sharp teeth as the hook
If you read her story “Bite Me” you won’t have the saddies.
3/17/2009 05:00:00 PM
There once was a trainer from hell
Who coached a sweet Southern Belle
When it came time to race
She kept up the pace
‘Cause that’s just the way of our Mel
3/17/2009 05:42:00 PM
There once was an exercise class
Of which Mel considered no pass
She thought it was Rumba
Turned out it was Zumba
Yet still she thought it a gas
3/17/2009 05:49:00 PM
There once was a writer named Mel
Who wrote YA hoping to sell
Her brand’s ‘Bitchin’ Fiction’
Just thought I would mention
Buy ‘Bite Me’ or get ready for hell
3/17/2009 06:35:00 PM
Ms.Mel, Hogzilla, or Boobszilla?
“Bite Me” coming soon to your villa
If you don’t buy and read
On your neck she will feed
Or on your nuts sick a chinchilla.
3/17/2009 09:45:00 PM
Vampires love blood in their tummy
Oh Mel, this may make you feel crummy
Since they don’t floss and brush
Do their teeth turn to mush?
Therfore, should the book be called “Gum Me.” <—OK seriously, that's just funny.
3/17/2009 10:04:00 PM
It is the month of Mel
A very sexy bombshell.
A Diva who wrote a book.
What you ask is the hook?
I need something to read So, I wrote this for greed.
AJ Ashe is a bit of a liar,
with a secret, in danger most dire.
“I’m normal,” she said,
though in fact she’s undead,
your everyday teenage vampire. (Paradox, this is excellent for having just read the ‘books’ page! Thank you for playing!)
I had two limericks enter via FB last night at 8:07 pm. I’m adding them here so they will count.
There once was a writer named Mel,
From her hands best sellers they fell.
Her fans were all lined upAt Borders, Bretanos,
And everywhere where books they sell.
There once was a princess named Mel;
Her awesomeness easy to tell;
Her subjects all loved her,
A feminine wonder,
A Venus reposed on her shell.
Now do you see why it was so hard for me to choose??? Y’all are all awesome. I felt the limerick love, and am still all a green-glow today. (is that anything like being a teenage mutant ninja turtle?)