Can someone explain why anyone would do this to their hair on purpose?
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Tag Archives: weird shit
the story of Meth Ho and School Boy
Anyone else wanna sing “This is the story of a girl..”
Anyway…
So Friday night we went out after the Party at the Potty. The band was fun (and turns out, an old friend of mine is a member of the band, which was totally crazy.) Well, I had mentioned that some folks decided to dance and it kinda turned into a White People Can’t Dance competition.
What I didn’t mention was Meth Ho and School Boy.
MH and SB were sitting with a group of ten or so right behind us. Now, it was obvious that the group hadn’t been to the ‘big city’ in a while. They were a colorful group and seemed to be really enjoying themselves.
When the band started, this skinny chick wearing high-waisted, tapered ankled Mom jeans, an oversized hoodie and workboots got up and started ‘dancing’ by herself. It was an awkward side-to-side step and she was way offbeat. Her braided pony tail (she had it in a pony tail then braided it) swung back and forth like a whip and I was afraid for anyone who might accidentally be lashed by the bleached blond weapon.
It was almost painful watching her, but we couldn’t look away. When the band slowed things down, she moved toward the table and we all breathed a sigh of relief…until she grabbed School Boy’s hand and pulled him to the dance floor.
School Boy must’ve used the best fake ID on earth to get into the bar, because I swear he was just a very tall 12 year old. Honestly, at the very oldest, he was 18… and that’s giving him a very large benefit of the doubt. At first, I thought ‘Aw how cute. He’s gonna dance with crazy Aunt Gilda.’ But that thought quickly turned to ‘OMGWTFBBQ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!’
MH pulled SB close and they started slooooow dancing (say it like Barry White. Sloooooow Dancing) And doing this very awkward kinda grindy Dirty Dancing thing that made me throw up a little in my mouth.
I kept trying to look away, but I just couldn’t. It was horrific. And awesome.
My friend recorded the dancing with her iPhone but it was so dark and she didn’t have a good angle so I don’t have video evidence.
Which I promise you is for the best. Because seriously, that image? It burns.
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search me!
It’s been a while since I’ve done a stat blog. It’s amazing what terms people search for that lead them here.
BTW: we do not discriminate here at Mel-O-Drama. No matter how weird your search terms are, no matter how perverted you may be, you’re welcome here as long as you play well with others. Just be warned, your search terms are totally fair game as a blog topic.
As usual, CNBC’s Melissa Francis’s legs & Naked Melissa Francis have been a hot item. (BTW, she emailed me one day this past summer saying she’s happy to mooch off my attention and maybe I could post some photoshopped pics of her head on Meghan Fox’s body. I promised to do so if she she would get me some face time on her show to pimp my book…I’m still waiting for my invite. LOL)
There’s been a lot of BITE ME! and LOVE SUCKS! activity, for which I thank you. (LOVE SUCKS! will be out July 2010) BITE ME! is still on the shelves so get out there and buy your (minimum) 2 copies!
I’ve had some Shirley Q. Liquor searches. People love her Razorback fight song!
Lots of piercing, tattoo, and cleavage searches.
And then come the weird ones:
- Teach my ass Melissa (srsly, is this from some kind of porn? I’ve got to find it, because I’m still getting multiple hits a week for that)
- Bunco MILF (Maria, this could be a new genre! Erotic Bunco Babes!) Also in the MILF dept: My son’s friends MILF, seducing a MILF, MILF Melissa (thanks!) & bitchin’ MILF
- Superhero having a shag (This is one of my faves and I’m now contemplating a new blog just for that)
- Reptile Sex (Sadly, I did blog about this once)
- Spy Voyeurs
and my personal favorite of all of them:
- GIRLS HUMPING THEIR PILLOWS PICS OR STORIES (this one is from Auckland New Zealand…Nolen, is that you?)
Now, once folks find their way to my blog, they sometimes use my search bar to find specific subjects that I’ve blogged about. Here’s the most recent list
- DENTON MCDONALD: someone is very interested in my high school boyfriend. Denton, you’re getting searched from all over the states. Are you in some kind of trouble, my dear?
- DAVID: well, I’ve discussed David Beckham, David Blaine, & Harry and David cherries. Were you looking for someone in particular?
- Tom Keifer: Ahhhh. someone else loves Cinderella just like me
- Scooby Doo Blanket: I was totally cute wrapped up in that blanket. It was cold that day!
and finally…the cherry on top of all the searches:
- spider biting vagina
Excuse me? I trust you did NOT find what you were looking for when you searched my blog? *shudder*
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where virtual meets reality
I love the internet. I’ve actually made some of my really good friends online. Between email, blogging twittering, online writing groups and now FACEBOOK I am online constantly. Good thing I can multitask…
Facebook is a funny creature. I’ve found a lot of friends, old and new on FB. I enjoy reading status updates, hi-jacking comment threads, stalking spying quietly a few people that I like to know about but don’t necessarily want to interact with all the time.
Enter yesterday. I get a message from a ‘new’ FB friend asking if I have wireless internet. Now, I’ve never met this FB friend face-to-face before, but he’s best friends with a good friend of mine, so I didn’t think anything about it. Pat is a Psychiatrist and he was in town visiting his wife’s family. Apparently his in-laws are still on dial up and Pat needed to refil some prescriptions for a couple of patients. He went to Starbucks but couldn’t get logged on. So he contacted me.
And then my virtual world became reality. LOL
It was good to meet him. Nice guy. Apparently he reads my blog. LOL That’s two people in a week that I’d never met before who read my blog. That’s kinda cool. We had a good time chatting. He told me a few stories about our mutual friend, packed up his stuff and headed back to Camp In-Laws.
What did we do before cell phones and social networking? Does anyone remember actually holding a real conversation?
Have a good weekend, y’all! Any big plans?
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i has a weird
So we’re ‘home’ here in Oxford.
It’s so weird being here.
I really miss my kitchen. And my closet. I talked to my closet for a long time last night. Told her how much I missed her and how I was sorry we couldn’t take her with us. She understood, but isn’t happy about it.
Ian is mowing the lawn and Rader is just hanging out.
After lunch, I start working on my edits. Then I plan to go out for drinks and swim.
Everyone cross your fingers that we sell the house this weekend so I can continue to drink and feed my family. Those things are very important. I don’t wanna have to revert back to college where we are buying The Beast and eating Ramen 3 meals a day!
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totally obsessed with this
My friend Kent posted this to his MySpace blog yesterday and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.
which way does the lady spin for you? Can you make her change directions?
The Right Brain vs Left Brain test … do you see the dancer turning clockwise or counter-clockwise? If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.
Most of us would see the dancer turning counter-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.
At first, she was spinning counter-clockwise for me. But now, when I watch her, she’s always spinning clockwise. I can concentrate and make her change directions, but when I stop focusing, she goes right back to spinning clockwise. It’s freaking me out, man!
LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe
RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
“big picture” oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can “get it” (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 
