Tag Archives: bullies

feeling swell

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First off, thank you for all the wonderful comments about yesterday’s post. Many of us had a nice discussion on Facebook and I also received a couple of private messages that meant the world to me.  We all have stuff that lingers from our past, and we all have different ways to cope. In high school, my coping mechanism was to be happy no matter what in public. I ignored all the ugly remarks about the size of my butt, BUT, they never went away.

“She’s so chunky, you have to eat her with a fork.”

“Chunky, chunky 2 by 4, can’t get through the kitchen door.”

I made myself believe the people who said those things to me were just ‘ribbing’ me. Like they would one of the guys. And so then, I became one of the guys. Because THAT was the safest thing to do. If you’re one of the guys, then you don’t expect to get a boyfriend. You’re not going to, anyway. Boys don’t like curvy girls. So I threw a football better than most dudes, I played all the sports and became better friends with the boys than I did with most of the girls. I also threw myself into every extracurricular activity I could, from Student Senate to Class Officer. I was the most unpopular popular kid in high school.

It’s funny, our perceptions of each other growing up. I felt like nobody knew me, like I was just so-n-so’s sidekick, I was the fat friend with a good personality, the pity date, the third wheel.  So when I went to college, I still had this weird, self-perception.

But now, 30 years later, even though I fight those old feelings, I actually feel pretty fucking swell. I’ve got some amazing friends, a super amazing boyfriend and my kids–I survived high school so I could be the kind of mom I am today. And I wake up happy everyday (even when I don’t want to get out of bed because the sleep won’t leave my face!) It’s nice, this swellness I have on my inside parts.

I think that’s why I get so bent out of shape about bullying these days. And I’m not even talking about mean kids being mean. That sucks and it needs to be stopped. I’m talking about adult bullying kids but calling it ‘parenting.’ If your kid goes through life feeling worthless because you called her a whore for wearing too much makeup to a party or an inappropriate dress or you tell her girls with those size thighs can’t wear those skirts…or girls with no boobs shouldn’t put on boob dresses….then you’re being a bully. You’re not parenting, you’re shaming. My parents are amazing grandparents, but when I had the boys, I made it very clear to them… they were never to feel shame for asking questions or wearing something that looked horrible but they picked it out themselves. They were never to be called names EVER. Because shaming is not good parenting. Luckily, I broke free of that pattern, but a lot of kids grow up to be the same kind of parents… It’s not fair to their kids.

/soap box for the day

Have I shown y’all my summer look? Or what I PLAN to be my summer look?

b565857d7fcc88210771ed351333ced1I’m gonna rock this look all summer long, and sparkle while I’m doing it…

This picture inspired me… :

480900_451243814958361_1530752660_nHow to get a bikini body: PUT A BIKINI ON YOUR BODY. Yeah yeah, that’s actually a 2-piece not a bikini. I’m confident but not THAT confident. LOL

Anyway, y’all do something kind for yourself today. And smile. You know smiling is contagious…right?

please read this.

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My friend has been dealing with a lot. Her 16 year old autistic child has been bullied mercilessly for years…even more so now that he is out of the closet. He wrote this letter and asked his mom to post it.

Please. Go forth and read it. Know that no matter what you believe is morally right…that nothing justifies the torment this child has been put through.

 I am disgusted that in this FREE COUNTRY we are tormenting people who love differently, who process information differently and who believe differently.

We are tormenting people for being different. For standing up for what they believe to be right, even if it goes against the majority. We are bullying people to change who they are or to keep their mouths closed or to fake their way through life in order to protect themselves.

What bothers me the most? Most of these people call themselves Christian. Well, if God is love…then what the hell kind of message are these “Christians” sending when they beat up on on an a gay, autistic kid?  Or whoever else they decide to bully just because they are different.

Disgusting.

And on a similar subject, please read this letter to Ann Coulter, written by a 30 year old man with Down’s Syndrome. Ann is another bully…and for some reason, she has power to stir up followers. Remember folks, your words and actions have power. Can you live with the results? 

Let Love Rule (Melf on another Soapbox)

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THIS (if that link doesn’t work, try this one)is unacceptable. Hatred and bigotry in any form is just plain not okay. Period. And this man is a member of a school board! Is this the type of person you would want representing your children?

Quote from Clint McCance’s facebook page:

“Seriously they want me to wear purple because five queers committed suicide. The only way I’m wearin’ it for them is if they all commit suicide. I cant believe the people of this world have gotten this stupid. We are honoring the fact that they sinned and killed themselves because of their sin.”

“Being a fag doesn’t give you the right to ruin the rest of our lives. If you get easily offended by being called a fag then don’t tell anyone you are a fag. Keep that shit to yourself. It pisses me off though that we make a special purple fag day for them. Ilike that fags cant procreate. I also enjoy the fact that they often give each other aids and die.”

I’m disgusted. Truly, in my gut, disgusted. And I’m sad that Arkansas will get a bad rap over the short-sighted, hate-filled opinion of this one man who happens to live in this beautiful state.

I can’t believe this man holds a position of power in a school district. Shame on you, sir. It seems you’ve forgotten a very important rule in life…DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. Christian or not, that’s a pretty darn good guideline to go by, don’t you think?

No matter how you feel about homosexuality, you should definitely agree that wishing kids dead is not okay. If you think it is, get off my blog, please. You’re not welcome ’round these parts. I don’t hate you, I just don’t wanna be around you. Kthxbai.

ETA: This is an article that has a screenshot of his actual facebook page and includes more hate-filled quotes, including this gem: “I would disown my kids they were gay. They will not be welcome at my home or in my vicinity. I will absolutely run them off.”

Here at Mel-O-Drama, we prefer to Let Love Rule. Take it away, Lenny:

take 13 minutes and watch this. It’s powerful and important.

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It’s National Coming Out Week and the internet has been flooded with “It gets better” stories. THIS is the single most powerful video I may have ever seen. Take the 13 minutes to watch it, even if you don’t think you have time. And then show it to your kids.

This is the son of a Texas Cowboy who is now a City Councilman in Fort Worth, TX. THIS is what every kid needs to know and every parent needs to hear. The bullying has to stop.

Thanks Stoney for posting this today. If Joel Burns ever runs for President, he will get my vote.