MONTH OF MEL DAY 3; Week of Giving Day 3

Day 1

Day 2

Today, I’m going to ask you to please consider donating to Lucie’s Place.

Lucie’s Place provides homeless LGBTQ young adults in Central Arkansas with safe living environments, job training and counseling services in order to ensure lifelong stability and success, and works to promote equality and acceptance for LGBTQ young adults.Did you know:

    Did you know:

  • More than 30% of LGBTQ youth report at least one suicide attempt within the last year.*
  • More than 50% of Transgender youth will have had at least one suicide attempt by their 20th birthday.*
  • Youth suicides outnumber youth homicides.*

*Based on national statistics

Those of us who are parents…do you remember when you just found out you were pregnant? And people would ask “Do you want a boy or a girl?” and your answer was almost always the same “I don’t care, as long as it’s healthy.”

Funny how that changes for some people when their child is born and they discover said child is Trans or gay or queer. How easily parents fail their children by kicking them out of their homes, the one place they should always feel safe and loved.

Lucie’s Place helps fill an unfortunately necessary need. Please find it in in your heart to help these poor kids who in the process of finding themselves, lost the one thing that should never have been taken from them–unconditional love from their families.

MONTH OF MEL DAY 2; Week of Giving Day 2

Yesterday’s post, I highlighted 2 cancer-related causes. One to help a particular family in need, the other, to support some Arkansans raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in order to help many.

Today, I ask for you to help the Arkansas homeless by donating to The Van.

from their website:

The One, Inc. is a very grass roots organization. It was spawned out of several years of hard work and dedication to meeting the needs of our homeless neighbors. That same hard work and dedication continues today in our same community driven methods.

We rely almost completely on in-kind donations to help us meet the many needs that our friends have.

All monetary donations go to keep our vehicles serviced and on the road, as our efforts are all mobile. We don’t have a huge overhead for buildings and administration, but it takes the help of many people to keep us on the road and going.

The Van relies almost solely on the generosity of others.They do amazing work for people who are living on the streets. If you can’t donate money, please peruse their website to see what other items they need at this time. They often put a call out for blankets, clothing, toiletries, and volunteers.

Give a little…and get a lot back in return. Your sparkle karma will double. I promise!

MONTH OF MEL DAY 1; Week of Giving Day 1

I told y’all in yesterday’s post that I wanted to start this year’s MONTH OF MEL off on a different foot. I’d like to do a week of giving….and I’m going to highlight (mostly) local charities that are important to me and that I’d like to introduce y’all to, and maybe, you’ll be inspired to give to one of the causes I highlight this week, or maybe you’ll donate to one of your favorite causes!  Continue reading

Well, that was fun.

Yesterday was very draining. I know people have a bad day and have no issues with telling the world, but when you’re a sponge like I am, you soak up the energy around you. And yesterday, the energy around me was pissy. Negative, bitchy, petty and stressful.

And I was in such a good mood when I got to work! UGH.

So I went home, fired up the grill (QUEEN OF THE GRILL!) and became one with my center. Or at least I tried to. Thank the gods El Jefe makes me laugh. Same with Rader. I needed the laughter badly.

Rader offered to pour me “all the wine” last night. hahaha. I had to decline though, since I’m kinda on the wine wagon during the week. (most of the week, anyway. I chose wine over workout on Tuesday since it was storming.) I did some stretches and grilling and then got all the loves from the puppies and kittehs and my personal Fabio… and by the end of the night, I was all better.

And today, I’m rarin’ to go. I’m also in rare form. Look out world…I’ve got my sparkle turned up to 11 and I don’t care if you’re wearing shades or not!

I can be snarky and funny and a smartass, but I’m rarely negative. I enjoy happiness and smiling at people so they will smile back. I may have a rant or two on occasion, but it’s mostly just me being silly. I will say what most of y’all are thinking. I’m awesome like that, you see.

So today, I’m in a good place and I’m not going to allow any of the crabby people crawl into my happiness bubble full of sunshine and butterflies. And unicorns that fart rainbows.

Because EVERYONE wants a rainbow farting unicorn in their life. Duh.

have you met my spirit animal?

Meet the Pin Up Girl. Pin-up-girl-Wallpaper-Art-Painting

I have always been enamored with the Pin Up Girls of yore. (Yes. I said yore.) They were soft, curvy, beautiful and their clothes were kick ass! Hell, if you don’t find them sexy, I think you probably needs some therapy. And glasses.

Now, I haven’t always identified with the Pin Up Girl, I’ve just always loved them. Then El Jefe and I started dating and he made a comment to me one day, just a few weeks into our fledgling romance that stuck  with me forever.  He told me he would love to have an image of me painted onto his motorcycle in pinup style, because that’s what he saw when he looked at me. Basically, he told me I was his calendar girl. I may have swooned.

I’ve never felt more beautiful in my life. That was the biggest compliment ever.

And from that moment on, the Pin UP Girl became my spirit animal. (don’t worry, the dragonfly is still my real totem, but…I’m embracing the Pin Up and making her my bitch)

beach_chair_pin_up_girl_retro_art_postcard-rfcae5bdc55a449a9b56ba2da5719db8e_vgbaq_8byvr_512Okay, RAPID TOPIC CHANGE!

Tonight is Workout #2 of Melf’s Compound Bootylicious Bootcamp. (I know the title keeps changing. Shut up. I like my brain’s ADHD) It will be just me and Rader (and probably my nephew Ryan) because *drumroll please*


That’s right, my fellow interneters. My 19-year-old-practically-grown-assed-son finally landed himself a gig. I’m very proud of him, because this is the job he’s been wanting and has been trying to get since spring. And he didn’t give up. And he did it by himself. Sure it took him a while, but who cares. He did it. On his own. And that’s what matters.

Anyway, back to Melf’s Compound Bootay’s Bootyliciousness.  I’m going to add in more upper body tonight.  I need to sculpt my awesome so my inner Calendar Girl shows on the outside to everyone. Not just my sexy El Jefe

Hmmm. El Jefe will be home tonight. Wonder if we can convince him to join us in our misery?

I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to cheer us on while taking pictures and laughing…with us. Not at us, of course.

OH and for an awesome fitness blog with tips and workouts and menus (oh, MY), check out She’s pretty amazing. And her body is to fucking die for. Damn. You could do laundry on her abs!

And in one last bit of news…I have committed to doing a Yoga class this weekend for the first time in 15+ years. My sweet friend, Brandi Soucy is going to help me out…because I will need extra attention due to the girls. Downward Dog can actually mean suffocation when you’re G for Gifted.

There will be a blog about it next week. And there will probably be pictures. I ask that you keep your judgement of my inflexible fluff to yourself, as I am trying. Laugh all you want…on your inside.

Actually, laugh all you want. I will be. Fuck it. It’s gonna be awesome. And funny. But mostly awesome. 😀

Happiest of Hours

We had an impromptu happy hour at the compound yesterday afternoon. It was lovely.

Before the gathering, I soaked up all the vitamin D possible. I pretended I was on a beautiful beach in the Caribbean, being served lovely, strong island beverages by handsome young, shirtless men.

Don’t you wish you were me?





americaThe prodigal teen-almost-grown-ass-man and his friend have returned to the house. Just passing through, I’m sure. They have too many video games to play elsewhere to stick around too long.

I’ve heard from Rader and he’s have a grand ol’ time. He’s gonna be plum worn out when he gets home on Sunday. He better send me some pictures!

My grumpy bear is still down with the lurgy, so we are just having a very chill day at the house. I will do the John Deere thing (a girl should always have a back up date for a holiday, just in case her #1 choice catches the plague) John Deere always treats me right.

Since the big boy is home, I’m going to send him out to buy me some fireworks because we are not under a burn ban for the first time in years, and I’m gonna light some shit on fire. blow shit up. make things go boom.

Also, there will be sparklers, because I’m a girl and I love them.

Hope you guys are getting your 4th on in style. Let the gluttony and explosions begin!

Team America! Fuck. Yeah.

take me for a ride on your big green tractor…

You think my tractor's sexy.

You think my tractor’s sexy.

Oh John Deere! I can’t wait to see your museum this weekend!

I was thinking I should wear something awesome to commemorate the visit. Is this “dress” too much?

If I put a pink camo John Deere trucker hat on with it, will that dress it down just right?

Of course, if I were to wear this “dress” I’d have to make a few adjustments. Like add about 3 feet of material at the bottom. The neckline is pretty much perfect for my girls…but I would probably want to wear a tank top so as not to overwhelm all the old farmers who are hanging around.

Okay, I’m kidding. Well, not about the pink camo trucker hat..but the dress? Only for Halloween. You know. When it’s appropriate to be a Slutty Tractor.

Even Ruby loves to John Deere Dream

Even Ruby loves to John Deere Dream

When you spend as much time on a John Deere Tractor as I do, you tend to develop a bit of a crush. So, it’s only natural that I would be overly-excited about my time at the museum. I can’t wait to sit on a combine. I hope I don’t get kicked out…

El Jefe has a family reunion in Iowa, so we are going to enjoy our time on the Mississippi River while I get to meet his family. I really hope his grandfather comes. The stories about him are always fantastic.

Once the reunion is over, we’re headed to Chicago for 1 night. I’ve never been before, and I know 1 night isn’t enough time, but…it’s PrideFest on Sunday! So it’s like the stars have aligned to make sure Chicago will be full of extra sparkle and fabulousness for my arrival. Thank you, STARS!

In a Walgreens update, I was contacted by the company yesterday after they read my blog. They’ve opened a ticket to investigate the complaint, which I do appreciate. The more I hear from people in my town, the more I realize that this Walgreens in particular seems to refuse to fill narcotic prescriptions on a regular basis. They are “out” a lot and “don’t know when they’ll have more in.” Well, that pretty much makes them the shittiest pharmacy ever if their purpose is to fill prescriptions and they rarely do. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO MONITOR OUR MEDS. That is called “Practicing out of the scope of your position.”

Walgreens. You’re fired.

feeling swell

First off, thank you for all the wonderful comments about yesterday’s post. Many of us had a nice discussion on Facebook and I also received a couple of private messages that meant the world to me.  We all have stuff that lingers from our past, and we all have different ways to cope. In high school, my coping mechanism was to be happy no matter what in public. I ignored all the ugly remarks about the size of my butt, BUT, they never went away.

“She’s so chunky, you have to eat her with a fork.”

“Chunky, chunky 2 by 4, can’t get through the kitchen door.”

I made myself believe the people who said those things to me were just ‘ribbing’ me. Like they would one of the guys. And so then, I became one of the guys. Because THAT was the safest thing to do. If you’re one of the guys, then you don’t expect to get a boyfriend. You’re not going to, anyway. Boys don’t like curvy girls. So I threw a football better than most dudes, I played all the sports and became better friends with the boys than I did with most of the girls. I also threw myself into every extracurricular activity I could, from Student Senate to Class Officer. I was the most unpopular popular kid in high school.

It’s funny, our perceptions of each other growing up. I felt like nobody knew me, like I was just so-n-so’s sidekick, I was the fat friend with a good personality, the pity date, the third wheel.  So when I went to college, I still had this weird, self-perception.

But now, 30 years later, even though I fight those old feelings, I actually feel pretty fucking swell. I’ve got some amazing friends, a super amazing boyfriend and my kids–I survived high school so I could be the kind of mom I am today. And I wake up happy everyday (even when I don’t want to get out of bed because the sleep won’t leave my face!) It’s nice, this swellness I have on my inside parts.

I think that’s why I get so bent out of shape about bullying these days. And I’m not even talking about mean kids being mean. That sucks and it needs to be stopped. I’m talking about adult bullying kids but calling it ‘parenting.’ If your kid goes through life feeling worthless because you called her a whore for wearing too much makeup to a party or an inappropriate dress or you tell her girls with those size thighs can’t wear those skirts…or girls with no boobs shouldn’t put on boob dresses….then you’re being a bully. You’re not parenting, you’re shaming. My parents are amazing grandparents, but when I had the boys, I made it very clear to them… they were never to feel shame for asking questions or wearing something that looked horrible but they picked it out themselves. They were never to be called names EVER. Because shaming is not good parenting. Luckily, I broke free of that pattern, but a lot of kids grow up to be the same kind of parents… It’s not fair to their kids.

/soap box for the day

Have I shown y’all my summer look? Or what I PLAN to be my summer look?

b565857d7fcc88210771ed351333ced1I’m gonna rock this look all summer long, and sparkle while I’m doing it…

This picture inspired me… :

480900_451243814958361_1530752660_nHow to get a bikini body: PUT A BIKINI ON YOUR BODY. Yeah yeah, that’s actually a 2-piece not a bikini. I’m confident but not THAT confident. LOL

Anyway, y’all do something kind for yourself today. And smile. You know smiling is contagious…right?

Hey USA! Happy Holiday Weekend!


Don’t forget to thank a veteran for the freedoms he or she fought for us to have.





Also. Happy Freaking Friday! Yay for the three-day weekend!

Last night at the Compound, we fired up Big Bertha for the first time since fall. Not because we don’t  grill year ’round usually, but because we had to use our porch as a storage shed, and poor Big Bertha was inaccessible until we finally got the boxes moved to the actual storage unit. Which we did a few weeks ago, and now, not only can we enjoy our Screened-in-Porch again, but we can enjoy grilled meat again as well.

Mmmmm. Meat.

Mmmmm. Meat.

I melted some butter and added an equal amount of balsamic vinegar and some garlic and I put the chicken and the marinade into a ziploc. I refrigerated the chicken for about 40 minutes. Then I basted the chicken in the leftover marinade while grilling.

OMG. It was seriously so juicy and tender!  I also grilled some green beans and black-eyed peas in foil with a smidge of bacon fat.  We ate well last night.

Congratulations to the Boy Scouts for kinda sorta not being homophobic. *rolling eyes* So what’s going to happen when your gay boy scout members grow up and want to be boy scout leaders? It’s okay to be a gay member (heheh she said gay member) but not a leader who is gay? Really? So isn’t that kinda like Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? (which really didn’t work out very well, yanno). Or is it the modern version of Separate but Equal? No. It’s not that either. I guess I’m proud you tried to take a step forward. It’s more like a half-a-step and you twisted your ankle, but it is slight progress.

Today is a wonderful day. It started out swell, I’m full of sparkle and awesome, I’m having Sushi with my bestie from high school for lunch, and tonight, there will be wine. Tomorrow we may go canoeing. I’m pretty sure I’ll be shaking my bootay at some point this weekend. (When you have a bootay like mine, you need to shake it well, and often.) And I’m thinking there will be a trip to the farmer’s market in our future as well.