feeling goofy

I’m extremely excited about date night tonight! YAY!

Here’s my favorite baseball picture that I took in June 2010. The storm came and went and we got to watch the game pretty much all by ourselves!

When I was getting dressed this morning, my first thought as I was harnessing up the girls was “Sometimes wearing a bra crushes my soul.” And of course, that became my FB status. I told you I was feeling goofy.

Anyway, my fellow large-breasted women concur with my feelings. My soul hurts today. I am harnessed. I feel the need for FREEDOM!

Last night, the boys and I had such a good time just hanging out. I love my kids. I love it especially when they try to guilt me into giving them money. Hahahahaha. As if I ever feel guilt. Seriously. I mean, hahahaha, as if I ever have any money to give them. Seriously. They’re such funny boys and Mondays and Wednesdays at The Compound are always full of extra laughter.

Oh, I just want to give you guys fair warning, I’m planning to win both lotteries this week. Soon, I shall be blogging from our private island: Isla de MelJefe. There will be lots of gratuitous beach photos and I will be sure to include many of my personal cabana boys. (And Jefe’s cabana babe, for the men-folk.)

Also, we are thinking about adding ducks to the Compound! I will keep y’all posted. It all depends on winning the lottery and when we decide to move. Stay tuned!

Okay. I guess that’s all I got today. If you’re having a bad day, just remember: wine helps. If you’re always having a bad day, just remember: medication and therapy helps. If you can’t look at this picture without smiling, there is no hope for you.

And if this picture doesn’t make you LOL and possibly even snort, then I don’t even want to know you.

my favorite math

The only math I’m good at is Lottery Math and so this morning while I was driving my kid to football practice at 6:15 AM, we did Lottery Math.

Rader feels like once we win the lottery, $15M should be just about right for him. Yes, that’s what he thinks I should give him…hahaha. I said I would give he and his brother the same amount and it would remain in a Trust Fund until they were 30.

Apparently this was unacceptable. He should have more money than his brother and he should have full access to it at 18.

Keep dreaming kid.

While I’m spending money I don’t have, I believe after I do win the lottery, I’m going to hire someone to drive my kid to his predawn football practices. Don’t punish me, bro! That ain’t fair!

I’m very happy to announce that I’m going to be adding Project Runway to my recap resume over at Hey Don’t Judge Me! I’m working on Episode 1 right now and am planning to have future episodes up on Friday afternoons.

Sadly, we’re still having some behind the scenes upgrade activity, so I can’t post anything new yet. My Bachelorette posts are ready to go and I have high hopes I’ll have them up today, as well as my first Project Runway. I’ll keep you posted. But just because I like you, I’ll give you a little sneak peek of what I’m writing:

Julie Tierney, Grand Junction, CO is showing a collection of things made from blankets. I’m not even kidding. You know those woven blankets you can buy for $10 at every southern and midwestern convenience store? We always called them “Indian” blankets growing up. She is seriously making dresses out of them. Or that should probably be “dresses.” it’s an “outerwear” collection and Nina says “You have a passion for outerwear, clearly.” What I heard in my head was “You have a horse blanket fetish.”

The gayest of all the gays is Gunnar Deatherage from Louisville, KY. Heidi wants to see his look for an average woman. I’m expecting him to pull out yoga pants and a sweatshirt in a size L (or possibly XL, if it’s Thanksgiving) Instead he pulls out this pastel pink dress made from satin sheets, crystals, and broken dreams. I need to go to Louisville and meet some of his average woman peer group.

I’m not going to talk about the heat. Y’all know it’s hot. I don’t need to keep harping on it…I’m usually the one bitching about people who bitch about the heat anyway. (You can bitch about the winter all day, though.) I have air and electricity and there are plenty of people who don’t right now (Benton, AR where a substation caught fire yesterday) so I’m gonna be thankful and happy about it.

Oh and for you Kindle owners, you can request an autograph for my books on Kindle now. It’s pretty darn cool…check it out: Kindlegraph