weekend recap

This sums up Saturday:

This sums up Sunday:

And last night I watched the Bachelorette Finale with Robyn and managed to stay awake long enough to write a recap.

Happy Monday y’all. Only 4 more days til I’m at the lake with my friends and the boys having a damn dandy time!


Sometimes reality hits you like a skillet to the face.

I realized yesterday that come August, I will have a Freshman in high school and a Freshman in college. Wow. Where did the time go?

I’m not a big cry-baby momma on first days of school. I got a little choked up when Rader was in Kindergarten and he got on the bus for the very first time. I was pretty teary when Ian graduated High School. But for the most part, I’ve always been sending them off to school with a freedom booty dance.

This year might be a little different. My tree frog and monkey are both big boys now. wow.

I’ll let y’all know if I get verklempt.

Oh. And check this out…

heh. Yep. Gotcha! They see me Rick-rollin’…

If you haven’t been over to HDJM, my Bachelorette Men Tell All recap is up! Go forth and enjoy…


I’m all meh today. Tuesday is mehday. Meh. Bleh. Blah.

I went home feeling like I was gonna hurl yesterday, had a headache all day and night and still had a headache this morning. So I took a sick day to try to get over the mehday.


The good news is, my Bachelorette recap is live at HDJM. I can’t believe I actually like Emily and the 3 guys she’s taken to the end. That just doesn’t happen. Usually at this point, I barely like any of them, much less all of them.

Oh, check this weird flower-vine-weed-whatever out. Can anyone identify it for me? It’s growing around our pond and it’s pretty cool looking, for an alien. Yeah, I kinda think it’s an alien.

do the humpty hump, do the humpty hump!

Hey y’all! It’s humpday! Woot!

My Bachelorette recap was posted at Hey Don’t Judge Me yesterday. Get thee over and read. It is pure joy…in a trashy sorta way. Also, there might be some panty-melting going on. Because damn that Arie is sexy when he kisses Emily. SEX. EE.

This weekend it will be just me and the dogs and I’m really looking forward to some quiet time and possibly some pool time somewhere. Or maybe me and the mutts will head to the lake… The boat is out of commission, but that doesn’t mean I can’t lie around on a floaty or on a lounge chair with a beer in my hand while the doggies frolic about like otters.

Besides…I need to work on my tan.

[insert witty title of your choice]

Gonna take care of some business on the front end… You know I write the recaps for The Bachelor/Bachelorette over at Hey Don’t Judge Me right? Well, I have some very good news…Starting in July, I’ll be recapping Season 1 of Once Upon a Time…2 shows a week to bring us to the beginning of Season 2 in September! So…Please bookmark Hey Don’t Judge Me and like our Facebook page. We have some fantastic writers over there who recap and review all sorts of shows and movies and what not. For example, we added Dr. Who this week. I KNOW RIGHT? Awesome.

Oh. and now I have a Tumblr account because Stoney told me to get one. And I always do what I’m told. So I’ll be posting little what nots about the shows I’m recapping there. And other what nots. There will probably be posts about wine. And possibly some talk about the zombie apocalypse. I might even solve the world’s problems. So if you’re into that sorta thing, follow me. If not, well, why are you reading my blog anyway?

In news of discovery, I have been totally using El Jefe’s razor, and I am now going to have to go get my own, because WOW. This thing works! My legs are awesome. AND now they are smoov too!

Seriously. The battery power makes all the difference.

 Hmmm. What else is going on? Today is the longest day of the year…and I’m stuck at work instead of soaking up all the sunshine at the lake. I think this should be a mandatory day off…don’t you?

roses are red…

In fun news, my recap of last night’s douchetastic Bachelorette has been posted at Hey Don’t Judge Me. Go forth and enjoy the douchebaggery in all its glory.

In writing news (and you can just skip this if you’re not in the mood for some la la land confessional woo woo stuff), I’ve really been trying to find my way back to feeling creative with words. I’m journaling again, which feels a little weird to me. I haven’t done that in years, and in the past, the only reason I would write in my journal would be to sort out sad feelings. So when I started associating the journaling to sadness I stopped.

Anyway, I say all that because I am trying something new with this journal. I’m just using the notebook to jot down thoughts, random ideas, pictures…or just words. Sure I’m talking to myself, but it’s kinda weird…like word vomit.

The funniest thing happened to me though. I wrote a poem yesterday. I can’t remember the last time I wrote an actual poem. (I’m not talking about Limericks…haha) It’s not a very good one, but it was heartfelt and honest.

And then…to make sure that I was completely out of my comfort zone (as if journaling and writing poetry isn’t enough to make me feel uneasy) I actually gave the poem to the person I wrote it for…which means, I totally risked my vulnerability to rejection and humiliation. And as scary as it was, it was actually very empowering.

I risked rejection again. I don’t deal well with rejection of my feelings or my words–I’m awesome, why would anyone reject me, right? This has been a bit of a revelation for me, and I’ll just stop right there because this is not a couch and y’all aren’t my therapist. 🙂 I just wanted y’all to know, I’m working on it and I am going to write this book because I need to fill my creative well again.

And I need to enjoy writing fiction again.

*ding* I’m sorry, our time is up. See you next time…

the best news is…

“The best news is we got 40 frogs in a sack!”

This is a direct quote from my new favorite show, Duck Dynasty.

40 frogs in a sack is the new awesome. How have I missed this show? Holy Crap on a Cracker the awesome is off the charts!

Speaking of awesome, my Bachelorette recap is up over at Hey Don’t Judge Me. Let me just tell you, the Douchebaggery does not disappoint. Also there were Muppets on this episode. Like really.

You should pop over there, check it out, make a comment or two, and tell me I’m as awesome as 40 frogs in a sack.

I kinda wanna be a part of their family.

oh yeah, I’m back at HDJM

So The Bachelorette started up this week, and I posted my recap at Hey Don’t Judge Me yesterday. Please go read and if you’re watching the show, comment! Let’s talk about the crazy! There is a dude with an Ostrich Egg. A dude with 6 kids? (Yes, 6 kids. Real kids.) A dude dressed like a granny… A Jef-with-one-F and pompadour hair…and SOOOO MUCH MORE!

That’s really all I have for you today. Go forth, read…conversate. Yes, I said conversate–on purpose even!


Today is NATIONAL UNDERWEAR DAY. (really??) Guess what National Underwear People? You are not the boss of me. *sticks tongue out*

Dudes! looks like our server issues at HDJM are fixed and now my Bachelorette Finale and After the Final Blows Rose recaps are up! I will admit that I made myself laugh out loud several times. I crack myself up.

Project Runway episode 1 will be live this morning and episode 2 will be up this afternoon if all is right in the world. (again, I am cracking myself up with these recaps. Something is wrong with me, and that’s all right.)

It’s Back to School Black Weekend (Tax Free Shopping). I will be the one dressed as Xena Warrior Princess. I have my sword and shield at the ready and also, my pretty blonde friend will be there to accessorize the ensemble. And don’t think I won’t cut you over a pack of real wood pencils. Because I will. Twice. And if I kill you, I’ll totally bag you up and throw you in my mossy pond with the other dead hookers. I mean, never mind.

my favorite math

The only math I’m good at is Lottery Math and so this morning while I was driving my kid to football practice at 6:15 AM, we did Lottery Math.

Rader feels like once we win the lottery, $15M should be just about right for him. Yes, that’s what he thinks I should give him…hahaha. I said I would give he and his brother the same amount and it would remain in a Trust Fund until they were 30.

Apparently this was unacceptable. He should have more money than his brother and he should have full access to it at 18.

Keep dreaming kid.

While I’m spending money I don’t have, I believe after I do win the lottery, I’m going to hire someone to drive my kid to his predawn football practices. Don’t punish me, bro! That ain’t fair!

I’m very happy to announce that I’m going to be adding Project Runway to my recap resume over at Hey Don’t Judge Me! I’m working on Episode 1 right now and am planning to have future episodes up on Friday afternoons.

Sadly, we’re still having some behind the scenes upgrade activity, so I can’t post anything new yet. My Bachelorette posts are ready to go and I have high hopes I’ll have them up today, as well as my first Project Runway. I’ll keep you posted. But just because I like you, I’ll give you a little sneak peek of what I’m writing:

Julie Tierney, Grand Junction, CO is showing a collection of things made from blankets. I’m not even kidding. You know those woven blankets you can buy for $10 at every southern and midwestern convenience store? We always called them “Indian” blankets growing up. She is seriously making dresses out of them. Or that should probably be “dresses.” it’s an “outerwear” collection and Nina says “You have a passion for outerwear, clearly.” What I heard in my head was “You have a horse blanket fetish.”

The gayest of all the gays is Gunnar Deatherage from Louisville, KY. Heidi wants to see his look for an average woman. I’m expecting him to pull out yoga pants and a sweatshirt in a size L (or possibly XL, if it’s Thanksgiving) Instead he pulls out this pastel pink dress made from satin sheets, crystals, and broken dreams. I need to go to Louisville and meet some of his average woman peer group.

I’m not going to talk about the heat. Y’all know it’s hot. I don’t need to keep harping on it…I’m usually the one bitching about people who bitch about the heat anyway. (You can bitch about the winter all day, though.) I have air and electricity and there are plenty of people who don’t right now (Benton, AR where a substation caught fire yesterday) so I’m gonna be thankful and happy about it.

Oh and for you Kindle owners, you can request an autograph for my books on Kindle now. It’s pretty darn cool…check it out: Kindlegraph