It’s official. Yep. The cat is out of the bag. That’s right. I’m running for President.
Click here to see my interview. It’s all very exciting…
thanks to Liz for posting this first so I could steal it from her. See? I really do have a future in politics…
My vacay was officially over on Saturday. I left Maria (in tears of course) and flew home…where I found myself in tears. Remember all that work I did to leave the house spotless before I left? Um, why did I bother?
I’m not complaining. The reality is, the house would’ve looked exactly the same had I been here. There is some good news though…Fishdog did change the doorknobs on the front and carport doors. They look awesome. Copper levers and a new copper deadbolt. I love them. He also cleaned the master bathroom, which was starting to be a scary, scary place.
Today feels weird because it’s Tuesday. I keep thinking it’s Monday.
Sunday (which felt like Saturday) we went to Birdrunner’s house for a cookout. Fishdog and Birdrunner were elementary school classmates and they had a mini-reunion with a few other friends from gradeschool. The best part of the day was when we pulled out old pictures.
I have evidence…which I will gladly show you tomorrow, after I download said evidence.
Be afraid, Birdrunner. Be very afraid.
Seriously, how was this NOT a hit song? I heart this movie. I watch it every time it comes on…
POP GOES MY HEART
little known fact…this song is my cellphone ringtone…
Actually, I fly back to Little Rock tomorrow, but I’m no longer at the beach. Sadness does not begin to explain how I feel. I love the beach. I was separated at birth from the beach. The beach and I are soul mates.
Now if I could only get the Fishdog on board with my constant, unyielding need for the beach.
Last night, I started reading FIRST YOU RUN by Roxanne St. Claire. How have I missed her books? Can someone please explain this to me? This book hooked me immediately and even though I was so tired from traveling last night, I couldn’t put the damn thing down. Of course, this meant I had to buy her back list. Amazon.com loves me.
Seriously, if you like Romantic Suspense, run out and buy her Bullet Catcher books. NOW YOU DIE was released on Wednesday. Sockmonkey was on the program…where have I been?
There are 6 books in the series, but the last three are a trilogy all on their own. So, click these links and buy those books. Go ahead, I’ll wait..
FIRST YOU RUN
THEN YOU HIDE
NOW YOU DIE
There. Don’t you feel better? I know I do.
Sockmonkey buckles up for our long drive!
We arrive in Destin, only to discover Tropical Bitch Fay was following us. Sockmonkey sat in the window begging Fay to go to hell.
Maria, Louisa and I take a walk on the beach. These perfectly pedicured toes belong to me and louisa!
This is just before Tropical Bitch Fay showed up.
And this is just after Tropical Bitch Fay went away.
It rained on Monday, but we’ve had beautiful weather since then.
Look at those WAVES!
Jealous???
Poor Sockmonkey. Yesterday was not a good day for her. She had the worst time trying to recover from overdoing it on night one. While I was playing, she was sleeping.
Being the good friend that I am, I let her dry out.
Today, she’s feeling better, but she’s still a little tipsy. And this time, it’s not from the booze. She’s drunk on a good book.
Roxanne St. Claire‘s book, NOW YOU DIE was released today. Go forth and order it.
DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200.
This is book #6 in her awesome Bullet Catchers series.
Sockmonkey is riveted. You will be too.
I’m blogging over at Fictionistas today about my rainy day at the beach. Pop over and give me some ideas of things I can do today while I’m stuck inside…
Oh, and Sockmonkey… spent the morning in the storm. She’s drying out. Poor thing just didn’t handle the first night of drinking very well…she even did a little drunk dialing last night. I hope she didn’t say anything too bad to Gnomeboy when she called.
I, on the other hand, know when to say when. It took me a long time to learn it…but it does seem that the lesson has finally kicked in.
More tomorrow…or maybe even later today.
Sockmonkey is sleeping hard. Yesterday’s travel was very difficult on her. I don’t think she was quite prepared.
Being the good friend that I am, I’m letting her sleep in. But not for long. Maria and I need to hit the road before that bitch Fay swirls into Tallahassee. We’ll be traveling ahead of her and even though she’s headed west, the extended forecast for our weekend and then the next week’s location seems to be pretty normal for Florida. The highest percentage of rain is for today, which is 40% then it’s 30% and scattered Thunderstorms. I can live with that. Fay will not ruin our getaway! Besides, if it’s raining, we’ll get more work done. In theory.
A BOOK I SHOULD HATE.
I bought this book when I was at BN with ArkansasCyndi the other day. I’ll admit that the backcover blurb totally hooked me. I needed a laugh. Here’s the blurb:
My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.
I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.
But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way. I share my adventures with the world. They are known as:
The Tucker Max Stories
Tucker is an unrepentant, misogynistic, womanizing alcoholic who has lived a life that even my vivid imagination could not conceive.
And I have laughed until I cried on several occasions
It is a horrible book. Seriously. But it’s one of the funniest things I have ever read. If you are sensitive to fat jokes, meanness, bowel movements, or vomit please do not read this book. But if you are looking for an outlandish retelling of various drunken nights out with friends…then oftentimes end or include the above mentioned items, then buy this book. Seriously, funniest damn thing I’ve read in a long, long time.
Congrats to you Tucker Max for making this hog laugh out loud.
Sockmonkey and I made it to Florida with barely an incident.
Sure, I had one guy cut in front of me this morning as I was checking in. Then he had the balls to turn around and give me a look and I said, “You must be in such a hurry your forgot your manners. I forgive you.” Then I checked in and still finished before he did.
Maria picked me up and we immediately headed to find something to nosh on. She took me to the Red Elephant where I enjoyed a 22 oz beer, a salad and some artichoke dip. Yes, I made a glutton out of myself, so sue me.
We have pedicures scheduled for 5:00 today. Perfect timing since I stubbed my toe this morning and pulled half my big toenail off. Yum.
Tomorrow, Fay is supposed to come roaring in, but that’s okay, cuz we’re headed west and daring that bitch to catch us if she can. We’re picking Louisa up in Pensacola, headed to lunch, then digging in for some major CP work. I can’t wait.
You can now add me to your reader again. It wasn’t rocket science, but the fix wasn’t simple either.
YAY!
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 