march four–SNOW?

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Mother Nature,

Just two days ago, I was wearing shorts. It was nearing 80 degrees. The daffodils had poked through the ground and the forsythias had bloomed.

So, imagine my surprise when I woke up to an inch of snow. And it’s still coming!

Not that I don’t like snow…I do. But seriously, if you’re gonna bring it, bring it like there’s no tomorrow. I mean, 45 mins away, they got 10 inches overnight. You’re just teasing us with the snow you’re allowing to fall in Little Rock. The schools haven’t even closed yet, and they usually close when the weatherman mentions the word snow.

Anyway, I appreciate your snow thoughts, but I’d rather see some real effort. And you better get with it PDQ because I’m leaving in 25 minutes to take the kids to school. I better not get home only to have to turn right back around because you finally decided to bring it the right way.

Snowingly yours,
-Mel

march three

Posted on by
Reply

I’m on a roll with these titles, huh? Or would that be a rut?

God I struggled to get out of bed this morning. I slept great until the paper guy came. See, he drives a monster truck and it must be starving because it growls so loud that it wakes me up every morning. They usually come around 4:30 but this morning, they came arrived a little before 4:00

Since it’s been so lovely here these last two days/nights, we’ve been sleeping with the windows open. Which was fabulous for the comfort level, but disastrous for sleeping through the night.

That is a loud-ass truck.

And we’ve discovered that the paper guy is actually paper people. There are at least 2 of them and they tag team. They carry the papers to the door (which is fabulous on one hand) but when you have the windows open, you can hear them shouting their plans of attack.

Anyway, this morning, the monster truck rumbled and roared before 4:00 an the paper-people attacked the neighborhood with gusto, and I never seemed to get back to sleep.

So now I’m drinking coffee like it’s lifeblood, glaring at my kids whose very existence is on my nerves this morning, and wondering if I’m going to make it through the day without taking a nap.

Gee Mel, cranky much?

march two

Posted on by
Reply

Another beautiful day here in Whoville. Love it.

We have more soccer today. Ian played a rockin’ game yesterday, he gave a valiant effort in the goal and he blocked a penalty kick like a pro. He was the youngest player on the field by two years, but he held his own nicely. Some of the players on the other team looked like full-grown men. It was a little strange watching these boys with mustaches running down my almost-14-year-old in the goal.

I am going to write this morning. Gotta get my proposal to my awesome CPs for them to shred. I love this new story and I think it’s gonna be a great one…but it needs some work.

It’s gonna be 80 degrees today. I’m shaving my legs and putting on some shorts.

I hope it’s pretty and warm wherever you are. If not, maybe it will be soon.

Peace.

march one

Posted on by
Reply

I don’t know about you, but when I think of March 1st…I think of spring. I know that technically spring isn’t until the 21st, but I’m ready now.

And apparently so is Mother Nature, because the sun is shining, birds are chirping and it’s going to be 70 degrees today.

I love spring. And I’m in a new house so I get to discover the quirky things, like where the Daffodils are planted. (btw, a patch of Daffodils sprung up this week in my backyard which is very exciting!)

I’m ready to dig in the dirt and make my mark on the new place. I overdid it in Oxford, and created a flowerbed that was as big as Texas. I won’t be doing that here. Sure, my flowerbed was beautiful, but it was also a lot of work!

Soccer starts up today. We found a team for Ian, and his first game is this afternoon. He’s actually playing on a U-18 team, which I hope will help get his skill back up. He wants to play for Catholic next year, but to do that, he’ll have to really work hard. It’s very competitive and he hasn’t played on a team in a year. He also starts track next week. My time will no longer be my own for a while.

Happy Saturday!

Feisty Friday Night!

Posted on by
Reply

I just bought a book from Ellora’s Cave…written by a really hot friend of mine who happens to be a writer.

Go forth and buy Lillian Feisty’s newest release: I LOVE LACY

TRUE OR FALSE:

  1. I once performed at drag queen karaoke with Feisty.
  2. She was with me when I had my nose pierced.
  3. Her favorite karaoke song is I TOUCH MYSELF by the Divinyls
  4. She loves her nipples.
  5. She loves all nipples.
  6. Feisty often saves me from dying of eternal boredom during carpool by texting me dirty messages.
  7. She owns a personal Ms. Pac Man video game machine.
  8. Her favorite toy is her “personal massager.”
  9. She is addicted to tattoos.
  10. She will be with me when I get my first tattoo.
  11. She will put her hand under the towel.
  12. Feisty would run off with Fishdog tomorrow.
  13. Feisty’s favorite word is cuntmonkey.
  14. Feisty is the creator of all things good and evil.
  15. These are Feisty’s tits:


so tell me, what is true and what is false?

short post…not like the short bus.

Posted on by
Reply

I was going to post about Survivor and Lost and Lipstick Jungle as I usually do on Friday. But I’m tired and don’t feel like posting a long-ass recap.

I will say, all 3 did not disappoint. Especially LOST. Wow. Powerful. I cried. I will stick it out a little longer with Lipstick Jungle. It redeemed itself last night. And as far as Survivor goes? I love it when the “weak” teams take control. Heh.

couldn’t make this up.

Posted on by
Reply

Yesterday, I got all my paperwork together and made the trek to the DMV. My plan was to finally get my Arkansas car tags (which had woefully expired back in November. Shhhhh.) and my Arkansas drivers license. Well, I got my new plates, but the DL will have to wait another day. Even though I had done my research, apparently they haven’t updated their information on the internet. You can no longer use your SS card as a 2nd form of ID. Passport or Birth Cert only. Thanks, Homeland Security!

Anyway, I drive up to the DMV and see a police car and I think please don’t let him see my woefully expired tags. I park and start to get out of my van when I realize something isn’t quite right. Um, there is a car where the DMV walls used to be. I think, hmmmm, this is sure an extreme way to show kids that drinkin’ and drivin’ is uncool.

But that isn’t what they were doing.

No.

Some poor little old lady missed the brakes and punched the gas, launching her Dodge 300C over a 6 inch embankment, into the DMV. Nobody was hurt, but apparently a lady did an awesome Jason Bourne move over the counter to avoid getting hit.

But wait! There’s more!

So, it’s still business as usual inside the DMV. Of course, cell phones are snapping pictures a plenty. I took 3 pics, but can’t get them to download, so you’ll have to live with the picture from the paper for now.

I walk in, get my number, sit and wait. And that’s when I hear the following conversation:

Lady: I still need to get my drivers license renewed. Do you think I can still do that?
Me: uncontrollable laughter. (Oh, honey. You do know you just drove your car into the DMV. Right?)
Cop: Ma’am I think you have a little more on your plate to worry about right now. Let’s just get through this, okay?
Lady: But my license expires Friday.
Me: more giggles (this shit writes itself!)
Cop: Yes, ma’am.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I wanted to just wrap that woman up in a big ol’ hug. She was obviously in shock. But c’mon. You know that’s the funniest thing ever. That conversation was an Awesome Casserole. If I had written that in a book, nobody would believe it.

it’s fiction people…

Posted on by
Reply

So, after Anne Rice so vehemently proclaimed she was finished with the Lestat novels because she was born again, she has now recanted. One more Lestat novel is forthcoming.

Now look, I don’t care about the Lestat novels one bit. I liked two of them. The rest did nothing for me. I did always have a problem with renouncing her fiction for her faith because they are two separate things. It baffles my mind when people can’t separate life from fiction.

When you make sweeping statements like

“I would never go back, not even if they say you will be financially ruined. I would be a fool for all eternity to turn my back on God like that.”

then you always wind up looking foolish. C’mon. It’s okay to have faith and write vampire books. Or zombie books. Or books about witches. Or whatever. Faith and fiction are two different things, unless you want to intertwine your faith in your fiction. But let me just say, IMO when you do that, you risk coming off as preachy and judgmental and frankly, turn readers away.

Anne is justifying her return to the Lestat story by saying:

the book will have a definite Christian framework and a focus on the theme of redemption

hmmm. sounds a little preachy to me.

My favorite line in the article:

“I don’t see it as a violation of my promise, because I won’t be writing about vampires in the same way,” Rice maintains.

C’mon, Anne. Just admit that you can write fiction and have faith. I would have much more respect for your return to the Lestat lifestyle if you’d just admit you realized you made a mistake by renouncing your fiction in 2002. I am so disappointed that you are justifying it by offering some sort of redemption theme. Just write the book as it was meant to be written–don’t use it to recruit.

KTHXBYE

guess i should talk about the oscars

Posted on by
Reply

I don’t really like award shows while they’re going on…but I do like the dresses and finding out who the winners are.

And sometimes I like the speeches–but most times, I don’t.

I didn’t watch the Oscars last night all the way through. Frankly, I wanted JUNO to sweep the awards, it should have. Not that the other movies weren’t great, I’m sure they were. But JUNO was just so special and it touched so many people. Even my boys (ages 10 and 14) loved this movie. And that’s saying alot, since there wasn’t one gun or car chase in the movie. For that reason alone, it deserved to win. BIG.

I was thrilled for Diablo Cody. Seriously. You rock the house. What a great script. I wanna be you when I grow up. Anyone who can write a movie that can reach across the generations like JUNO has, deserved those awesome million dollar shoes–and that pretty gold trophy. Rock on sista-girl.

I did get to see Daniel Day Lewis’s speech, and can I just say, I have a major crush on Mr. Humble Pie? I mean, how sexy is he? I’ve always liked him (Last of the Mohicans, anyone?) but his speech last night just really put me over the edge for him. Yum.

I didn’t see any truly unfortunate dresses, which was, unfortunate. Most of the women were glamorous and beautiful. And am I the only one who thought Helen Mirren looked like a million-billion-trillion dollars?

So, while most of the world was watching the Oscars, I was flipping back and forth between the Law and Order marathon on USA and the Oscars. I got to see all the pretty people without having to endure all the boring stuff in between. Except for Jon Stewart–he isn’t boring.