the british are coming!

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Many of y’all will remember two years ago when we hosted our first set of soccer coaches. Grant and Simon swooped in and ate us out of house and home and stole our hearts in the process. We also ended up ‘adopting’ all the coaches by the end of the week. I’m still in touch with all the gang and a few more member of the self-proclaimed “Dream Team” that we met throughout the summer.

Last year, we had two other coaches. Del and Rob. Del and I exchange emails some. He’s in California and enjoying it tremendously.

Well, now that’s it’s summer and we’re no longer in Oxford, we’ve had to find a new soccer camp. As luck would have it, Maumelle hosts the Challenger Soccer camp every year, and apparently it’s one of the best ones around…So we signed the boys up. And we asked to host.

And guess who’s coming?

My wee lad Grant! I haven’t seen him in two years. We email quite a bit and he calls us every few weeks to check in, but we’re going to get to see him live and in person now! Yippee!!!

We spent the day yesterday with the Maumelle Soccer club doing a 3 v 3 tournament. What a warm and friendly group. Fishdog and I are going to let the boys try out for their classic soccer team. We really like the sense of community that club had. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming. It was a nice change to the Little Rock club, which I think has just grown too big to be friendly.

Anyway, today we’re tidying the house and getting it ready to be destroyed by the coaches. We have Grant, and 2 other lads from Manchester. I’m stoked. Should be a great (and very tiring) week.

For more pics and “lad” related blogs”

Hey Audrey! We’re gonna miss you!!!

daily tweets for 6/20/08 and stuff

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All the guys in the family have soccer today–Fishdog included. I have my iPod, my chair, my ice chest and my book ready to go.

Y’all have a great day!

Yesterday’s Tweets:
Daily Tweets

07:20 Morning came way too early for me. where’s the coffee. #

07:22 @uniquelysteph Yeah. I know. But some Network shows aren’t boring. Even the dialogue had me yawning. #

07:26 Lit Agent Nathan Bransford at Fictionistas: tinyurl.com/5t4r92 #

10:03 need a good, in your face funny, book recommendation. Got one? Preferably one with an HEA… #

10:07 i have a headache. bleh. #

10:11 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRO! #

10:14 @DaynaHart I need a mega cup now. will have diet coke instead. sigh. #

11:22 oxford house is showing at 2 today. everyone send vibes they love it. Been on the market 11 months now. Aaaaaack! #

11:39 @Romantic_Heretc thank you! #

11:41 Lady wearing too much cheap perfume not helping headache! #

11:46 Why does cheap perfume linger so long? #

12:32 @stormerider I don’t understand it either. Of course, I really notice it the days I have headaches… LOL #

12:35 am checking into twitterfox when I get home #

12:37 @dooce I have to know what camera you have. You take the best pictures ever for your blog and I’m jealous. #

12:50 The count down to Mex-to-go has begun. #

15:25 have downloaded twitterfox. am now trying to figure it out. #

15:27 okay. this is nifty. I’m already digging twitterfox and I’ve only twitterfoxed once. #

15:27 @DaynaHart i’m thinking i’m liking this foxy bitch a lot. #

15:44 @markdavidgerson probably not much different. I just use firefox and twitterfox is an addon for firefox #

15:44 @markdavidgerson I just didn’t have any desktop twitter client and needed one #

16:34 @alisonkent you totally should. get a desktop client like twitterfox or twhirl. You’ll twitter more often #

16:42 @Angeleque isn’t she just the little twitterfox pusher? #

16:47 just got a call from the mechanic. Alas, the ‘easy’ fix was not actually a fix. #

16:47 I really, really, really don’t want to put too much money into a 10 year old 167K mile mini-van #

16:53 @barbaravey you’ve been very quiet today my friend. #

17:39 somebody please tell my hubby that jerry lewis is annoying and should NEVER be watched when I’m in the room. #

18:02 @Romantic_Heretc hang in there! It’ll all work out. You’ll see!! #

18:44 tomorrow will be an all day soccer affair. #

18:56 I am just a little bit frightened that I’ve allowed my son to set up a facebook page. the rule is, he has to be my friend… #

20:12 omg. we forgot we had a party to go to! crap. Not just any party…a Love Boat party. I’m Charo.

sometimes (oftentimes) I wonder…

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How Fishdog and I coexist.

right now, he’s watching a movie that is driving me nucking futs. THE LADIES MAN with Jerry Lewis. Yes, Jerry Lewis. If it were THE LADIES MAN, the Tim Meadows movie, I’d probably watch with him…but no, it’s Jerry Freaking Lewis.

The man drives me batty. Fucktackularly batty.

Unfortunately, we’re like this a lot when it comes to movies. He likes Zatôichi and other kung fu and old black and movies that break out into song in the middle of dialogue. He likes stupid old war movies that I’d rather eat a lightbulb than watch.

It’s kind of endearing. Sometimes. But right now, with Jerry Lewis’s whiny voice in the background, it is NOT endearing. At. All.

Daily Tweets for 06/19/08

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Daily Tweets
08:16 you know what? unlimited income and a cabana boy would be a very good thing. just saying… #
09:01 1 hour down…4 to go. I forsee a long-ass-day. #
09:01 twitter is irritating me. It’s only taking some of my tweets. #
10:34 having a mt. dew for the first time in ages. Woo that’s sweet. Why doesn’t the machine at work stock Coke Zero? #
11:51 gave in and sent MSNBC an email about ‘bodice rippers’. I’m like a dog with a bone… #
12:32 speaking of bones…sending love @lillianfeisty! #
12:55 4 minutes and counting. #
13:10 Gas prices r killing me #
15:35 for today’s moment in irony: tinyurl.com/6p6m89 #
17:04 trying to figure out what I want to do tonight. Kinda want to just veg in front of the tv. #
17:30 having a lovely Diamond Bear beer. Yum. #
20:12 @SouthernGrowth yes. but I won’t tell. #
20:15 watching Hell’s Kitchen again with Fishdog. #
20:21 from mark: Did you say “tarted up” or ‘tarded up? Cuz there’s a difference. #
20:53 Diamond Bear Brewery is based in Little Rock…and their Pale Ale is Rock. Awesome. #
21:15 watching Swingtown. I had high hopes. It’s kinda boring. #

literary agent Nathan Bransford

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Get thee to the Fictionistas and read Gwen Hayes’s lovely interview with Literary Agent Hottie, Nathan Bransford. Also, check out his blog.

Click on the banner

Fictionistas

today’s moment in irony…

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I went to Sam’s Club to buy beer, sodas, and snacks. We’re going to have a houseful of British soccer coaches next week, and they require an insane amount of beer and water to sustain life. (and yes, Grant will be here..I can’t wait. I haven’t seen my wee laddie in 2 years!)

Anyway, as I’m leaving Sam’s, a man stops me and asks me if I’d like to help save a life.

“Pardon?” I ask.

“Would you care to help save a life and support the alcohol abstinence program?”

“Abstinence?” I say, glancing at my buggy. I count 3 suitcases of Bud and then a case of good beer. “Um. No. Not today. Thanks.”

Sigh. Know your audience people. Besides, you should be teaching moderation. All or nothing is not the way to go.

what the foie gras??? random posting…

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Actually, it should be WTF is foie gras? It sounds so yummy and mysterious. I just like saying it. FWAH GRAAAAH. It’s like something the minister in Princess Bride would say. Mawwiage is something we do after we eat Fwah Gwah.

Anyway, I finally got to catch up on the Top Chef finale and Richard made this weird egg, duck, foie gras thing and I guess I always thought foie gras was some kind of cheese until he started the “what comes first the chicken, the egg, or the foie gras” thing. Obviously, foie gras is not cheese.

So I googled it. What did we ever do without google?

For those of you who are as in the dark about foie gras as I am was, let me put you out of your misery…

from wikipedia:

Foie gras (pronounced /fwɑːˈgrɑː/ in English; French for “fat liver”) is “the liver of a duck or a goose that has been specially fattened by gavage” (as defined by French law[1]).

Foie gras is one of the most popular and well-known delicacies in French cuisine and its flavour is described as rich, buttery, and delicate, unlike that of a regular duck or goose liver. Foie gras can be sold whole, or prepared into mousse, parfait, or pâté (the lowest quality), and is typically served as an accompaniment to another food item, such as toast or steak.

Okay. Ew.

What is it with taking something pretty nasty and calling it something that sounds so yummy. Like Sweetbreads.

Sweetbreads are the thymus glands of lamb, beef, or pork. There are two different connected glands; one set in the neck and the other near the heart. Although both are edible, the heart thymus gland is generally favored because of its delicate flavor and texture, and is thus more expensive[1]. Typically sweetbreads are soaked in salt water, then poached in milk after which an outer membrane is removed. Once dry and chilled, they’re often breaded and fried until crisp. It is also popular to use them as a stuffing or in pâtés

Gross.

Okay, I’m not a foodie. It’s obvious. I don’t eat organs or glands. Or brains (is brain an organ?) or genitalia (no comments from the peanut gallery. Fishdog, that means you) And I get why they rename gross sounding food into something yummy sounding. I would’ve probably eaten Sweetbreads or Foie Gras before google…

Now? nope. Not gonna happen.

I sure wish foie gras was a cheese.

in which I roll my eyes so hard they get stuck.

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Okay, look. I understand that romance novels aren’t for everyone–though I maintain that most everyone who claims not to read that trash, either A) haven’t read a romance B) don’t understand what romance is C) are such spectacular literary snobs that they can’t lower themselves from their lofty acclaimed Oprah Book Club heights.

I spent a long time last week defending romance to good friends of mine who said they had never read a romance novel and wouldn’t. When I asked them what authors they liked to read they said, Nora Roberts, Janet Evanovich, James Patterson, Brenda Novak….

Um. Guess what? You read romances.

I can deal with the snotty attiude toward a genre I love because frankly, numbers talk.
From RWA National website:

Romance Literature Statistics: Overview

Romance Sales
Romance fiction generated $1.37
billion in sales in 2006.
Approximately 6,400 romance titles were released
in 2006.

Market Share of Romance Fiction
Romance
fiction outsold every market category in 2006,with the exception of
religion/inspirational.
26.4% of all books sold are romance.

Romance Market Share Compared to Other Genres(source: Simba Information
estimates)
Romance fiction: $1.37 billion in estimated revenue for 2006 Religion/inspirational: $1.68 billion
Science fiction/fantasy: $495 million
Classic literary fiction: $448 Mystery: $422 million
Graphic novels: $128 million

Of those who read books last year, one in five read romance novels.
(AP-Ipsos Poll)

1.37 BILLION freaking people read romance novels. Put that in your snob-filled pipe and smoke it.

You may wonder what’s got me on this topic? Well the Today show posted this poll:

Do you read romance novels?

straight forward question. No problem. But check out the poll choices:

Yes, yes, yes! Bodice-rippers are my ultimate escape. (who wants to check this? I even hesitated to mark it as my answer. Bodice-rippers are my ultimate escape? Um. How about just Yes.)
No way. I don’t touch those books. (why? Are they diseased? No. would’ve been the appropriate choice.)
Sometimes, while on vacation or at the beach. (why is this even an answer? Honestly? This is a yes or no question. You either condescend to read those trashy little bodice rippers or you don’t!)

Anyway, as usual, a group of folks who have no idea what the Romance genre is about has posted a condscending poll. I know. You’re shocked. If you’re interested in voting, click here.

flabbergasted–but not at a loss for words.

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I had intended to blog today about the Beaver Lake Ghost, but something has gotten stuck in my craw and I can’t let it go.

/begin rant
Some good friends of ours got back from a 2 week vacation to discover that some of the local kids hosted a pool party at their house while they were gone. A piece of equipment was broken during the bash, but thankfully, nobody was hurt.

These kids are friends (possibly ex-friends) of their son. As soon as my friend told me about the pool party, I knew exactly who was involved–I even guessed which kid was the ringleader. See, these were all friends of Ian’s when we lived in Oxford. And the ringleader was a boy Ian was allowed very limited time with because he was the epitome of Trouble. Honestly, he was Trouble’s Spawn. And the worst part was, his mother never seemed to be able to see it…(and I really like his mother a lot, but her inability to ‘see’ how B.A.D. her child was just baffled me)

Apparently, she still doesn’t get it and unfortunately, she’s not the only one.

My friend’s son was partially involved because he suggested the party to the Ringleader. Okay. I get that. He should be held accountable for his part. But this is what I don’t get. Many of the parents won’t take any responsibility at all…or acknowledge the fact that their kid did anything wrong because the son suggested the party to the Ringleader! WTF? Are you kidding me????

First of all…This all would’ve been nipped in the damned bud if one fucking parent had decided to contact the parents supposedly hosting the party. (all the kids told their parents that everyone was home) Did one adult call another adult to verify? No. They just pushed their kid out ‘tuck and roll’ style, without making any effort at all to call or walk up to the house and see if any adults were home. (these are 14 year old kids, y’all. Not 16 or 17.) Ian gets so frustrated with me when he makes all the text message plans and I say, get me the Mom’s number so I can verify. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be done? Or am I supposed to just trust my damn 14 year old boy? Hah. Not on your life.

Secondly…I don’t care who arranged the damned party. I care that your kid was there and no adults were present and a piece of equipment was broken and by GOD your kid should be held responsible. Your kid KNEW no adults were present. He/she KNEW they were breaking the rules. HOLD THAT LITTLE SHIT RESPONSIBLE SO THEY’LL THINK TWICE ABOUT DOING IT NEXT TIME.

Thirdly…I don’t give a hairy hippo’s ass if your kid was the one who actually damaged the property or not. YOUR KID IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PROPERTY BECAUSE HE WAS THERE UNATTENDED AND WITHOUT PERMISSION. These kids will NEVER learn a lesson. EVER.

I’m not a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination but I am appalled that any parent would excuse this behavior. It’s common freaking sense. Your kid was at a pool party without being invited by the homeowners, without adults even being present, some property was damaged and that kid KNEW he shouldn’t be there. Bone up on your parenting skills and make your kid take some responsibility. Something really bad could’ve happen. You’re lucking you’re getting a second chance. You might wanna try to teach your little shitbag* a lesson so he won’t do it again.

*all 14 year old kids are shitbags from time to time. It’s a term of endearment around our house… sorta.

ok.
/end rant.

tales from beaver lake

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Yeah. That’s where I was last week. Beaver Lake. Seriously, how appropriate is it that we had a girls’ week at Beaver Lake? If I wrote that in a book, I’d have to change it cuz nobody would believe it possible.

This is the sight I had every morning from the back deck.

I would wake up about 7:30, sometimes slightly hung-over, with my coffee, my laptop, and my blackberry. I couldn’t quite give up all forms of outer communication…No real internet connection though, so I got loads of writing done. (notice the fishdog did NOT blog for me while I was away. Bad doggie. No bone for you)

The first night there, D and I shared a bottle (or two) of champagne. We toasted each other…and we toasted a bit of good (GREAT) news a friend of mine recently received. (a piece of news I’d love to cheer via the internets but am unable to do so at this time…stay tuned)

It didn’t take long for the first dragonfly to show up. My friend D was shocked the little dude was up around the cabin. She said they usually stay by the lake. I had to tell her he was there for me. They follow me. Louisa, Maria and Marley can tell you. It’s kinda weird. Even Deidre has seen it before. Dragonflies are my totem. If they search me out, does that make me some kind of Queen Dragonfly?
The dragonfly was the first of many critters I saw while hanging out at Beaver Lake. First there was the lake kitty who loved me. We call him smiley. We don’t like his “real” name. It’s stupid. Smiley fit. Smiley liked my lap. A lot.
And then we saw a snake…
and the next day, we saw him with his girlfriend having frenzied serpent sex. I ran in to get my camera and they took it under a rock. Guess they didn’t want their jungle love to be on the internets.

I also saw a bobcat and several deer. Again, I was without my camera. Of course, I see deer all the time, but I would’ve loved to have captured the pretty wild kitty on camera.

During the day, we’d go down to the dock and layout. We had intended to take the boat to the waterfalls, but it was so freaking windy, it wouldn’t have been very fun. So, we just enjoyed our books and the sun.

Oh. And I got to drive a mule, which was pretty much made of awesome.
And for the record, we honestly did NOT mean to spy on the naked people camping across the lake. It was a total accident.
tomorrow: BEAVER LAKE GHOST STORY…Stay tuned.