Raise your hand if you did NOT see New Moon this weekend?

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I admit it. I’m one of the 3 people on earth who did not go to see NEW MOON this weekend. Yes, I realize Taylor Lautner is hot…but seriously, unless they’ve completely rewritten the movie to make it THE NO WHINY VERSION OF NEW MOON, I have no intention of seeing it. None. That book drove me stark-raving mad. Kinda like the whiny Harry Potter book. Funny thing is…the whiny Harry Potter book made a great movie…because they made Harry not so damn whiny.

And even though I firmly stand on Team Sparkle, I will freely admit if the Jacob character would just STFU for a few minutes and quit mooning over whiny Bella, I could totally switch to Team Wolfenstein because WHOA AND DAMN that boy his hot.

Even though I didn’t go see NEW MOONING OVER BELLA MOON, I did still go to the movies. I saw THE BLIND SIDE which was an amazing film and honestly, if the whole cast doesn’t walk away with an Oscar, then life is totally unfair. Go see this movie. It was absolutely fantastic.

Now for some TWILIGHT fun:

Totally ripped this off SciFiGuy and I’m not ashamed to admit it. If you’re reading this on Facebook, go to my website to view the video. Worth it.

How Twilight should have ended:

[insert witty blog title here]

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Okay, this has been a hard week so I’m very glad today is Friday.

Tomorrow I’m giving a presentation to my local writing chapter on Screenwriting. This should be interesting since I have never written a screenplay in my life. I do however apply screenwriting techniques when I’m wriitng a proposal, so that’s what I plan to focus on.

Okay, can we talk about Survivor for a minute? How much am I loving this season? Seriously, Russell is the most awesome player ever. I hope he’s for real, cuz honestly, I love how bad he is and how good he is at this game. He deserves to win the money…as long as he keeps playing smart and doesn’t get too cocky. (of course, not sure he could get anymore cocky than he already is. Wow.) Shambo is just TSTL sometimes. She better watch her back…her days are numbered. And Mick? He is the real Mick-dreamy (totally stole that from Maria Geraci)

And Project Runway. Wow. What a disappointment. I just don’t understand how they picked her as the winner. <–(this is me trying not to spoil it for those of you who dvr'd it.) Her collection was just so…bleh. It wasn't wearable (except for a couple of dresses…including the last dress wh/ I actually loved but the judges didn't!) and what was with those jockey helmets? UGH UGH UGH.

Okay, now for some fun:

We played a Facebook status game last night: What four words would you say to me if we woke up in jail together? The comments were many and funny. Now it’s your turn…

What four words would you say to me if we woke up in jail together?

walking to happy

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I turned 40 in March. It’s a big mile-stone birthday for many people and your reaction to such an event really depends on who you are on the inside.

I never dreaded turning 40. I actually feel better today than I did 10 years ago. (look better, too, but that’s beside the point.)

A few years ago I started on my path of self-rediscovery. I needed to find myself again, because somehow, I’d lost a bit of the real me. I got fat, I was depressed, and mostly I was a shell of the person I used to be.

So slowly I started to shed the weight. It’s really easy to hide behind the fat. The more I exercised, the better I felt. And now, if I don’t walk at least 4 days a week for over an hour, I start to feel sad. It’s one of my favorite times of the day. Lots of thinking, contemplating, daydreaming, and sometimes a little crying will take place on my walks. I don’t hide anymore. And I don’t feel like I need to.

And frankly, I’m happy again.

What’s the point of all this? I guess maybe that the only thing we can be in control of is our own happiness. I took charge of my emotional well being. I stopped relying on others to make me happy. It’s an amazingly freeing feeling. I’m not saying that others can’t enhance your happiness but to give them full control over your emotions tends to give them control over you. Bit-by-bit you lose yourself.

Have you tried it? Have you taken control of your own happiness or are you still relying on others to do your job for you? It surprises me that my daily walks are the one thing that bring me peace. I bet there is something out there that will do the same for you.

seriously he is a hero

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Facebook readers will have to go to my website to see the video.

This boy is amazing. Go Will! You are a rockstar and I’m proud to be a fellow Arkansan. Stand tall and true, my man!

Here’s a direct link to the video in case the embedded video doesn’t work.

a night to remember

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It’s not often that I’m able to go out and play with my friend ALL-CAPS KRISTAL but when I do, it’s always a night to remember.

And it also takes me about 2 weeks to recover. I may not have one foot in the grave, but I’m also not a spring chicken anymore. LOL

I knew the night was going to be a good one when I tried on a pair of jeans in a smaller size and they fit. I did it more as a way to gauge how much I needed to lose before I could wear them. I had no idea they would actually fit! So I bought them. And I will probably never take them off. That’s the only way to ensure I won’t gain any weight. LOL

So ALL-CAPS KRISTAL and my friend Kim picked me up and we headed to see The Gettys play. (awesome band! if you ever get a chance to catch their show, I highly recommend it) I spent much of the time admiring the lead singer’s ass, and before I knew it, ALL-CAPS KRISTAL had him standing next to me asking him if I could touch his booty. (Jaeger may or may not have been used as a bargaining chip) The girl has no fear.

Then we played with a little bachelor party. All the boys were 21 or so and we spent a lot of time trying to tell them it was okay not to get married so young. And we offered them other life advice which is not really something that needs to be written down here. ALL-CAPS KRISTAL kept introducing herself as “the famous local author Melissa Francis. Buy my book, BITE ME!”

The rest of the night will remain in the vault, but I will give you a few hints. Gay bar, inappropriate conversations, an offer that was hard to refuse, Midtown, IHOP, 4 A.M. (oh, and there was possibly some public indecency near the train station, but I will not confirm or deny the incident)

Yesterday I slept. And ate. And watched movies and football (HOLY COW! DID YOU SEE THE COLTS GAME!?) Tonight, I’m headed to the Rivermarket for Monday night football and then the rest of the week, I’m planning to chill. Gotta recharge my batteries for the next time ACK (heh) and Kim decide to take me out.

a true hero

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Seriously, this kid rocks. We could all learn a thing or two from Will Phillips. I hope he never loses his perspective.

Will’s family has a number of gay friends. In recent years, Laura Phillips said, they’ve been trying to be a straight ally to the gay community, going to the pride parades and standing up for the rights of their gay and lesbian neighbors. They’ve been especially dismayed by the effort to take away the rights of homosexuals – the right to marry, and the right to adopt. Given that, Will immediately saw a problem with the pledge of allegiance.

“I’ve always tried to analyze things because I want to be lawyer,” Will said. “I really don’t feel that there’s currently liberty and justice for all.”

After asking his parents whether it was against the law not to stand for the pledge, Will decided to do something. On Monday, Oct. 5, when the other kids in his class stood up to recite the pledge of allegiance, he remained sitting down. The class had a substitute teacher that week, a retired educator from the district, who knew Will’s mother and grandmother. Though the substitute tried to make him stand up, he respectfully refused. He did it again the next day, and the next day. Each day, the substitute got a little more cross with him. On Thursday, it finally came to a head. The teacher, Will said, told him that she knew his mother and grandmother, and they would want him to stand and say the pledge.

“She got a lot more angry and raised her voice and brought my mom and my grandma up,” Will said. “I was fuming and was too furious to really pay attention to what she was saying. After a few minutes, I said, ‘With all due respect, ma’am, you can go jump off a bridge.’ ”

Will was sent to the office, where he was given an assignment to look up information about the flag and what it represents. Meanwhile, the principal called his mother.

“She said we have to talk about Will, because he told a sub to jump off a bridge,” Laura Phillips said. “My first response was: Why? He’s not just going to say this because he doesn’t want to do his math work.”

Eventually, Phillips said, the principal told her that the altercation was over Will’s refusal to stand for the pledge of allegiance, and admitted that it was Will’s right not to stand. Given that, Laura Phillips asked the principal when they could expect an apology from the teacher. “She said, ‘Well I don’t think that’s necessary at this point,’” Phillips said.

Read the whole article. It’s worth it.

arkansas trivia

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Just for fun, I thought I’d offer you a blog about my homestate. If you ever get a chance to visit The Natural State, don’t hesitate. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

Glen Campbell, Johnny Cash, Tracy Lawrence, Billy Bob Thornton, Mark Martin, Scottie Pippen, Jerry Jones, Maya Angelou, John Grisham, Charlaine Harris, and of course, Bill Clinton are all from Arkansas.

We have several colleges here, but the majority of Arkansans are Arkansas Razorback fans.

Arkansas was the 25th state in the union.

Our bird is the Mockingbird, our tree is the Pine (seriously, how boring) our flower is the Apple Blossom, our insect is the Honey Bee (as it should be…Melissa means Honey Bee)our mammal is the White-Tailed Deer, our fish is large mouthed bass, our gem is the Diamond (did you know we have a diamond mine? It’s true!) our rock is Quartz, our state beverage (AM NOT KIDDING YOU) is milk (heh) and our state instrument is the fiddle.

In 1972, dinosaur fossils were found near Locksburg, AR. The dinosaur is informally known as the Arkansaurus which means Arkansas Lizard. (can I tell you how much I LOVE that?)

There was a war fought in Arkansas in 1874 over election results. Brooks-Baxter War was fought between the locals (scalawags) and the non-natives (carpetbaggers). It was a real war and had to be put to an end by President US Grant.

Dave Rudabaugh is our famous cowboy…he rode with Billy the Kid and he was played by Christian Slater in Young Guns II.

George Straight’s newest album (TWANG) features a song about Arkansas Dave

I grew up a half a mile from the geographical center of Arkansas.

Strange laws:

  • It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in the state. It must be pronounced “Arkansaw.”
  • It is illegal for dogs to bark after 6:00 p.m. in Fayetteville.
  • While it is legal to shoot bears in Arkansas, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
  • It is illegal to keep an alligator in your bathtub in Arkansas.
  • The state prohibits moose from being viewed from airplanes. Furthermore, it is against the law to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
  • An Arkansas law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. (surely this isn’t still on the books!)
  • It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Fayetteville’s Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
  • In the state of Arkansas a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (okay, if this is still on the books we have a real problem)
  • In Little Rock, no person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 p.m.
  • Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock can result in a 30-day jail term. (uh oh)

Don’t you wanna come visit me now? Especially so you can get rowdy and walk your cow down Fayetteville’s Main Street after 1:00 on Sunday. Or look at a Moose from an airplane! (I will not support the pushing of a moose from an airplane. you wanna break that law, you’re on your own!)

channeling James Brown: I FEEL GOOD!

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Okay, so Monday’s post was a bit of a downer, and if y’all know me (and I think you do) you know that I don’t like to dwell on the negative. Because really? Dwelling on the ugly doesn’t make it any less ugly, does it? Nope. But dwelling in uglyville can certainly start making me feel all yucky on my inside parts and that is the last thing I want.

So last night I walked with @JennChristman for over an hour. We haven’t gotten to do that in a while and it was so nice to get back into our walking groove. We had lots to talk about because the ‘bridge people’ were out in droves. (We saw a guy with BACK CRACK!! OMG. Who has BACK CRACK?) And a major Cammo-DON’T. Or Cammo-No. Or just CamNo. Not sure…you pick. But this skinny chick was wearing two differen’t patterns of cammo…the pants looked like PJ pants. It was wrong on sooooo many levels.

While we were walking, I totally got caught checking a cyclist out. Completely busted. But then, I guess he got busted too, so that makes us even. Jenn and I were walking and this cute biker was coming toward us. I smiled, he smiled, I thought “Hmmmm. Cute.” and then I waited a few seconds and turned to check out his backside…and apparently he was turning to check out mine at the same time. DOH! total movie moment and funny as hell. Never saw him again, so it wasn’t serendipity…but it was awesome.

I slept hard last night after finally catching up on Project Runway! (can I just say YAY ALTHEA AND CAROL HANNAH!?) And this morning, I decided to wear my favorite necklace. Good things always happen when I wear this necklace. I don’t know if it’s because I always feel great when I wear it or what…but I love it.


It makes me happy.

Another thing that makes me happy? Atomic Fireballs, Jelly Bellies, and Lemonheads.

OH and Key Lime Pie. Though it is a little out of season for the actual pie here in Arkansas. But when I taste Key Lime Pie I always think of the beach and that ALWAYS makes me happy. (So does the Kenny Chesney song.)

Speaking of songs that make me happy:

Tell me what gets you in a good mood when you’ve had a crappy week?