Dear Rader #19

Dear Rader,

Today is your 19th birthday. I like to write you and your brother a letter every year, and this one will be no exception.


I’m incredibly proud of you and your brother. Y’all have weathered some emotional turmoil this year, and even though you both have a little internal bruising, you are stronger for it.

You just finished your first semester in college. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to fathom you’re a grown-ass man. You worked your tail off earning ALL THE SCHOLARSHIPS to pay for college. You worked your tail off earning money to help pay for your trip abroad, your trip to Puerto Rico, and to buy yourself a car. I know adults who don’t have the work ethic you have now. It’s amazing to see you take control of your life, set goals, and work like a junkyard dog to achieve them.

You’ve always been my little individualist and it makes me proud that you’ve had a self-awareness well beyond your age. I’d love to take credit for helping you with that, but I think that you were just born with it. You weren’t a “normal” baby (as if there is such a thing.) You were always so independent, so curious, so willing to ask questions and make jokes and entertain yourself. You hated sleeping in bed with us as a kid, didn’t like cuddling, and spent the ages from 5-10 “hugging” me by poking me with your index fingers and saying “hug, hug.” So now, when you snuggle me on the couch, or hug me with both arms…it is truly special.

I love you, kid. And I’m proud of the man you’re becoming. Carry on.

Love, Momma

2013:Month of Mel Day 15

Not only is today the Ides of March Melf, it’s also:

  1. Everything You Think is Wrong Day: This is a day totally dedicated to everything you do is wrong…you know, that day that everything just messes up? Well, here you go. Don’t worry though, because tomorrow is Everything You Do is Right Day. So if today is wrong, tomorrow will be all right.
  2. Absolutely Incredible Kids Day!
    Sure, your kid is pretty good. But, my kid is absolutely incredible! As a matter of fact, all of my kids are absolutely incredible. As a parent, I am going to take full advantage of being the author of this page to exercise my bragging rights, and to let you know that my kids are absolutely incredible. (Wow! That felt pretty good.)

    If the paragraph above doesn’t give you a good impression of the meaning and purpose of this day, then you probably don’t have kids…yet. When those offspring do arrive, you will most certainly use this special  day to profess how incredible your kids are. Amazingly, tomorrow they go back to being brats.”

  3. Dumbstruck Day:
    “Dumbstruck Day is a day to be totally dumbstruck over the things you see, hear and read. You may easily be dumbstruck to read that someone created this special day. Some people are dumbstruck on a regular basis, day in and day out. The events in their lives and the world around them are overwhelming. Fortunately, that’s not you (we hope).

    However, everyone has their chance to be dumbstruck once in a while. If you are normally embarrassed to be dumbstruck, then today is truely a special day. Today, you can be dumbstruck like the rest of us without guilt or embarrassment.  

So, let’s talk about the Day of Sparkle…

First, we need to back up to March 13, when the Conclave chose a new Pope…which changed EVERYTHING I had planned. Why? Because I had to give them the Pope Hat back. I was totally going to wear it all day yesterday.

Damn that white smoke.

When they called me to let me know, I immediately started negotiating. I had something they needed. They had to give me something in return.

 And they did. Our deal was, if he was going to get his hat back, then he had to take my name. POPE FRANCIS was born.

Seriously, how am I going to top that next year?

Yesterday was amazing. Every text and note and post I received made me smile. THE LOVE. I FELT IT.

Here’s how my day went:

This weekend is the TreeFrog’s 19th birthday. We are doing Benihana tomorrow, and St. Paddy’s Day at the Races! And we’re getting our toes did tonight!

I love birthday month!

Y’all have a great weekend and don’t forget to be Irish on Sunday so you can get all the kisses!


 I’m sparkling so bright, I’ve got a glowing halo!

Good Grief. What a fantastic morning, so far! I love that my friends embrace the fun that is my birthday. Seriously, if you’re not having a good time today, it’s your own damn fault.

(click here to read about the LEGEND OF THE SPARKLE)

(click here to read how THE MONTH OF MEL came to be)

My birthday eve was fabulous…We built a fire in the pit, Dale came over for a visit, and the boys made s’mores. El Jefe was sure to kiss me lots and tell me happy pre-birthday. My sparkle was turned up to 11.

I woke this morning to the sound of growling. It was Big Boy. He’s usually a lover, not a fighter, so I decided to investigate (with Ruby’s “help” of course). Well, it seems Big Boy had caught me a tiny little field mouse for my birthday. I tried to save the poor baby, but Little Kitty Foo Foo wouldn’t hear of it. 

 I leave Ruby to tend to the kitteh bidness and go to the kitchen for some much needed morning Joe. And this is what I see…

Gifts…from Box Turtle! One of my favorite locally-owned stores ever!

And this was inside the lovely packages:

The earrings are my birthstone and hammered silver,  handmade by a local artist.

The card with the pearl necklace (MINDS OUT OF GUTTER PLEASE) reads:

Pearls of …

with time, patience and a little help from mother nature, a pearl grows into an object of beauty and simplicity. pearls represent the best in us…something beautiful that comes from within. wear your necklace as a reminder that you are incredibly loved.

My heart kinda sorta melted when I read that. El Jefe…you may just be a keeper…

I feel incredibly loved. And so happy to have a group of friends that embrace my goofiness because they love me. And to prove it, check out my favorite email of the day (so far)

Damn right. Now sparkle on bitches! Let’s make today unforgettable and unregrettable! Yes. I made up that word. It’s my birthday, and I’ll say what I wanna!

The Ides of Melf 2012

I have the best friends in the world. Yesterday they made me feel special and loved and it was wonderful.

Today, it’s back to work. Tomorrow, Ian turns 18 and I’ll probably take to my bed. After we go to Oaklawn that is…

Here’s my goddaughter dressing up as me for my birfday:

And here we are being silly:

And check this out! I bought myself a birthday gift that I LOVE so much. I’ve never had a Coach purse before… And now I do. It’s so me!

Celebrate the Ides of Melf by doing something sweet and romantic for someone you love.


Guess who contacted me to wish me a very special birthday? I’m placing it under the cut because it my offend some of your delicate sensibilities. (If it does, you’re probably new to me…Hi! I’m Melf and I am an adult, and this is my blog, and sometimes I say adult things. Also it’s my birthday, so there. Also, you should go buy my books so I can quit my day job.)

I KNEW MATT DAMON WASN’T OVER ME! I’m sorry EL Jefe. But it’s Matt Damon. I know you understand… 😉

It is the Day of Mel and my co-workers brought me colorful sprinkled donuts! El Jefe took my car to be fixed (because he is made of awesome). My girlfriend is apparently buying my lunch today (and by “lunch” I mean “wine”) and my boss just gave me the afternoon off to celebrate (okay, she didn’t want me coming back to work hammered. whatever.) Life is pretty awesome.

2011: THE DAY OF MEL (aka Pi(e) Day)

It’s my birthday. Let’s all eat pie.

I’m having dinner with El Jefe and a group of friends tonight. I’m going to wear my sexy new shoes and show off my beautiful glittery toes. And I’m going to have a really good time.
I’d also like to send a Birthday Shout Out to my fellow Pi girl, Beth. We share the same bday which isn’t a surprise since the rest of our lives have been hauntingly parallel.
Here is a pic of me and ALL CAPS KRISTAL from my bday party last year. I may have to wear my tiara and feathers again tonight, but I really don’t want them to detract from my shoes. 😀

2011: Month of Mel Day 11

First, I have the best friends in the world. Thank you guys for a wonderful Girls (and Guys)Night Out Bday party last night. And to Allana, a big ol’ super duper thank you for my wonderful 4-leaf clover cake.

And congrats to Jim and Sara and that big ol’ baby boy Ralph…9lbs 2 oz! everyone is well…just tired. March 10, 2011: Day of Ralphasaurus!

Please send all your healing thoughts to Japan, Hawaii, and our west coast as that tsunami heads that way. Here’s hoping it dies down and is little more than an annoyance. And to my friends who have loved ones in those places, you’re definitely in my thoughts. Much love to you all.



As of 8:05 AM, I am 40 years old. (Technically I started celebrating the DAY OF MEL! at midnight. Gotta eek out as much of the BEST DAY EVER as possible) Plus that’s when I started getting text messages and phone calls. I have seriously surrounded myself with some of the best people in the world. I love you guys.

And I really love that y’all have embraced, the DAY OF MEL!, on this 14th day of the MONTH OF MEL!, which is tucked snugly inside the YEAR OF MEL! with verve and gusto! (don’t you just love the word verve? We should use it more often.)

As a matter of fact, we SHALL use it more often. I command that today every one is to use the word VERVE at least 3 times.

Report back and let me know how that went…

Love y’all! And Maria Geraci, you naughty little minx. I’m so glad I got to pop your blog-stealing cherry. I’m such a bad influence. And I like it like that.

Enjoy your DAY OF MEL! I plan to. I’ve finally let Matt back into my bed again…so we’re going to be a little busy today… And under the cut…check out what Matt Damon’s bday present to me REALLY is…

Happy Birthday!

Okay, so riddle me this:

Mel has done this to me a few times, but I’ve never done it to her.

What it is? (For all you dirty minds out there, shame on you).

The correct answer is: (drumroll, please) STEAL HER BLOG!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my fun, warm-hearted, absolutely hilarious, talented, and beautiful friend. The world is a better place because you’re here!