I have no words.
Okay, I lied. I have 6 words.
WASH YOUR HAIR BEFORE NEXT WEEK.
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Tag Archives: tv
top chef
the greasy hot mess made it through to the final four.
Wow.
Really?
guess someone had to make it. I was secretly hoping they would send both Spike and Lisa home and just have a final 3. THAT would’ve been worth writing about.
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fast times at awesome high and a rant
I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High last night for the first time in forever. God that movie is teh awesome.
Ian sat and watched it with me for a while. He laughed a lot, which I think surprised him. He made a comment about “Old people being weird.” which was totally directed at me since I was quoting the movie and laughing until I snorted. I was really curious to see how Ian would react to the
boob scenes, but he gave up on the movie before Jennifer Jason Leigh and Phoebe Cates disrobed. Not that he has seen boob scenes before. But he hasn’t really seen them in the context of characters around his age.
boob scenes, but he gave up on the movie before Jennifer Jason Leigh and Phoebe Cates disrobed. Not that he has seen boob scenes before. But he hasn’t really seen them in the context of characters around his age. Anyway, it was fun to watch and laugh with my kid. He’ll probably watch it without me now. God knows he doesn’t want me to think he likes something I suggested he watch. *rolling eyes* After I told him he missed the boob action, he’ll totally watch.
And now onto the rant:
TOP CHEF
WTF?
Can anyone explain to me how it is that greasy-headed Lisa is still on this show? How on earth did Dale get sent home before that Hot Mess of a chef? I mean, has she ever NOT been in the bottom three? Why is she still there? Her attitude sux. She is a whiner and a crybaby and the most negative person on earth. Plus, she can’t freaking cook!
I have decided that Lisa and her Hot Mess Hair and the Karate Kid from The Bachelorette need to hook up so they can produce a litter of Hot Mess Hair babies…
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sucked in
You’ll notice from my Twitter announcements on the side that I was sucked in to The Bachelorette last night. Sigh. I don’t know why I do this to myself. Seriously.
Once you start watching, you can’t look away. It’s a proven fact!
Last night did not disappoint in the realm of what-the-fuckedness. (new word. add it to your daily glossary) We had a dude I now call “Football-for-Jesus”. Look, I have no problem with your faith being #1 in your life, but c’mon. You don’t proclaim Jesus and I’m a virgin the moment you step off the limo. Dude is a pro-football player. Too bad I can’t remember his real name or I’d google him. Hang on, let me see…Okay, his name is Ryan and he plays football in Minneapolis. I’ll admit to gaping at the TV when Deanna gave “Football-for-Jesus” dude a rose.
But the biggest shocker? When she kept the Karate Kid. 
O.M.G
Dude was the biggest knob. An absolute tool.
First off, his hair was a hot, greasy, mess. Usually I dig long hair, not on this dude. Secondly, did I mention that he was a knob? Cuz he was.
Many of the guys were doing stupid things to get Deanna’s attention. One dude jumped into the pool with his suit on, then took it off, showing the world his speedo bathing suit with Deanna’s name printed on the bottom.
One dude called her with a duck-call. Yeah. I’m not kidding.
But the Karate Kid? He took the snowboarder dude (who I actually really liked) and placed a lemon on a plastic cup on top of the snowboarder’s head and then kicked it off. Like a 13 year old boy trying to impress a girl in front of his gang. Snowboarder dude said, “If you miss, when I wake up, I’m gonna punch you in the balls five times.” Awesome.
But Deanna ended up giving the Karate Kid a rose. I’m sure she was instructed to keep him. That’s the only reason I can imagine why she would’ve. Biggest. Knob. Ever.
The best part about watching the show? Fishdog watched with me. His commentary was priceless. I may never watch this show without him again.
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monkey, will you marry me?
I watched the Bachelor finale last night. I haven’t been a regular watcher this season, it got a little boring after the whole crazy ‘here’s my panties’ thing in the beginning. But I’ve kept up, by flipping back and forth and listening to Maria’s play by plays.
At first, I thought hunky Matt was going to choose Chelsea. She seems like a better fit for him, but after watching Matt and Shayne on their final date, I realized that he was in love with her. He had given her a nickname…and not Chelsea. Once you give them a nickname, you’re stuck. Especially a nickname like Monkey.
It was the sweetest proposal and even though I think Shayne is a little flaky and wee bit crazy, I think they are cute together. Not really convinced it’s gonna last though. (Do they ever really last?)
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survivor
Wow. Didn’t see that one coming.
When Amanda won immunity, in my mind, it was over. She was hands down the winner. She was the one person who betrayed the fewest people.
So imagine my surprise when Parvati won. Not that I don’t like Parvati, I do. But honestly, I didn’t expect her to win. She was the player to take to the finals because when you stacked her up against Amanda or Cirie, she was the obvious loser.
Color me surprised.
Fans vs. Favorites was the best season ever. Great players. Fantastic twists. And a love affair to die for. When Ozzy professed his love for Amanda, I melted. “I am angry because you [Parvati] took away 14 more days I could’ve spent with Amanda.”
Wow.
And they’re still together. Maybe we’ll have another Survivor wedding…
Let me also add, no matter how brilliant Erik’s blindside was last week, he is still my favorite player ever. He even beats out Yau Man and Rupert. I love me some Leif Garret Erik. My sweet little ice cream scooper.
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let the making of fun begin
Yesterday my friend stinkydog announced her intention to openly mock anyone wearing these shoes.
Let the mocking begin, because I ordered myself a pair.
NOT because I think they’ll make me skinny, cuz that’s just BS. But because I thought they were really freaking cute. I ordered them in bronze. No fringe. (sorry stinky, even I couldn’t go there)
I love flip-flops and I needed a brown bronze pair, so there. They are really cute and if they actually do make me skinny, then the joke’s on you.
Speaking of not so skinny, I exercised quite a bit this week, but apparently not enough to do any scale damage. I was up a half a pound which SUCKS ASS. Especially since I worked really hard this week to stay within the parameters of the diet. The good news is, I’m down like 5 inches…so I guess it is working, one way or another.
I watched Top Chef last night. I just love this show–but am I the only one who thinks this season is full of a bunch of entitled whiny titty-babies? Good lord. I needed a valium by the time the show was over. Dale stresses me out. And what was up with Spike goading Jen like that. And dudes, don’t you guys know that when the judges are talking to you and telling you that your dish sucks, you should just nod and say “you’re right. I can do better.” Damn. I think half the time the chef that gets so defensive is just talking themselves into a trip home.
On the storm front, we’re supposed to be getting more tornadoes today. Fun stuff.
What’s going on in Thursday-ville for you guys? Anything fun?
Lovely Amanda is talking about Jane Austen over at Fictionistas…
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white-thong is the new awesome
Just finished watching The Bachelor. I know. I shouldn’t watch such mind-numbing tripe, but I can’t help myself. The new bachelor is British. And hot.
But the best part of tonight’s show? Stacey.
She’s cute. Sure her rock-hard boobs will poke your eye out, but if you manage to keep your eyesight, you can see she’s plainly not ugly.
But when she got off the limo, I told Fishdog she’d had some Valium and possibly a Xanax as an appetizer. Then, after she overtly flirted and almost man-handled the handsome Brit, she went inside to booze it up.
By the end of the night, she had started a cat-fight, taken off her white lacy thong and given it to the handsome Brit, and passed out on an unmade bed. Unmade as in no sheets. At all. Just a mattress.
Oh yeah. White-thong is the new awesome.
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not my original blog..
Okay, I was going to blog about last night’s Millionaire Matchmaker. Not about the show itself but about one of last night’s eyebrows bachelor’s eyebrows. But I couldn’t find a good enough picture to post. The eyebrows were kinda like that talking stain commercial. You tried to look away, but you couldn’t. They were NOT RIGHT. If you get a chance to catch Episode 7 this week in reruns, you’ll see what I’m talking about.
You can check out some pics from the episode here.
Flip through them. You’ll know the guy when you involuntarily flinch in horror and then find yourself unable to look away.
We’re gearing up for my big birthday celebration in Hot Springs. It’s gonna be a blast! Last year was the first year we missed in 12 years! (but, we were in Florida riding rides and having a blast, so it was totally okay)
Ian and I have a birthday 2 days apart. (25 years and 2 days, to be exact) He’s turning 14 this year and he’s planning a party. I’m thinking we need a disco ball, some awesome outdoor lights, and a couple of super CDs made up of Monster Ballads so they can rock out and slow dance simultaneously.
Yeah, I live to embarrass my children. Their total humiliation helps me forget the whole pregnancy/labor thing.
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short post…not like the short bus.
I was going to post about Survivor and Lost and Lipstick Jungle as I usually do on Friday. But I’m tired and don’t feel like posting a long-ass recap.
I will say, all 3 did not disappoint. Especially LOST. Wow. Powerful. I cried. I will stick it out a little longer with Lipstick Jungle. It redeemed itself last night. And as far as Survivor goes? I love it when the “weak” teams take control. Heh.
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 