Seriously. This is my favorite new commercial. Tim Gunn is the cutest thing EVAH. And if he wanted to come dress my fat ass in some K-Mart bed linens and kitchenware, I’d let him.
i love hats!
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Monthly Archives: September 2007
my duck…
I’m taking a small writing break to share a story.
The Fishdog is a music madman. If it’s out there, he’s heard it. The more obscure, the more likely it is that he’ll not only know the song, he probably has it on his MP3 player.
This has rubbed off on our kids. It’s amazing to see these guys singing songs I didn’t even know they’d heard of. And we’re pretty wide open musically and honestly, there’s very little we don’t let the kids listen to.
But there is this one song on the MP3 player that I’ve forbidden for a while because of the subject…
Of course, you know what happened. Fishdog and I left the kids in the car while we ran back into the house to grab something we’d forgotten. And, as luck would have it, the song came on.
I discretely asked Fishdog if he thought they got the lyrics and understood what the song was about. He just laughed out loud. I mean, it’s hardly a subtle song.
Ian starts asking “What?” and Rader says, “Are you talking about that, My Duck song?”
Oh yeah, My Duck. That’s what the song says.
For those of you who are easily offended (why are you reading my blog?)or are at work without headphones, don’t click this video. Everyone else, please listen and try hard not to sing along saying “My Duck”…
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4 a.m.
It’s still dark outside and I’m up writing. Not sure how long I will last, but that’s not important. It’s going well and I’m thrilled.
will check back in later….
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hello again.
I took a day off from Blogging because I was too busy writing. I had a bit of a breakthrough yesterday and it felt great and I didn’t wanna break the momentum to talk about nothing.
Which, let’s face it, my blog is the “Seinfeld” of blogs. Which is fine. Apparently I can talk about nothing all day long.
I’m sitting in Community Bakery this morning, enjoying my hubby’s company and my cup o’ joe. We’ve been temporarily relocated to my in-laws’ house, due to an unfortunate septic tank incident. Fishdog’s parents don’t have a wireless network. Hell, they barely have internet, truth be told. So, we had to set out this morning for food and our internet fix. MUST. CHECK. MAIL. she says, thumping a vein…Hurry. Hurry….
Ahhhhhh. Much better. I can’t imagine not being able to wake up and log in to delete the 17 spam messages I get every morning.
I’ll be spending next week in Oxford. My plan is to become a hermit inside my own home and write. I have a lofty page count goal, but since I’ll have no kids, no hubby, no carpool line, no soccer, no cross-country…I might be able to hit my mark.
Today I have my first hair appointment since relocating. This girl has been highly recommended by a friend and apparently enjoys a client who enjoys changing her hair. We’ll see what happens…
So what’s going on with you? Anything big happen this week or any plans for next?
Oh and before I forget…
Woo Pig Sooie! Beat Kentucky!
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procrastination post #2
It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day:
My pirate name is:
Mad Ethel Kidd
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network
Here’s my earlier post, reworked Pirate style:
“t’s early, that’s for damn aye. Too early t’ be up cleanin’…which obviously I’m not doin’ since I’m bloggin’. I can has procrastinashun. Last night, after a full day o’ dustin’, cleanin’, sneezin’ and watchin’ 2 movies (oops, I accidentally sat down with t’ TV on…that’ll show me!) I went t’ what crawled out o’ t’ bung hole with me bucko Andrea. It was nice t’ just sit and chill…and sneeze. Damn those dusty blinds! where’s me claritin?
Now this mornin’ I have t’ finish vacuumin’ t’ cat hair out o’ t’ air and off t’ furniture, mop t’ floor and hit t’ road. Fishdog was up all night workin’ (I don’t know if gettin’ this new Powerbook was such a good idea now) so he was comin’ t’ bed as I was makin’ coffee. He’s gonna get up when t’ sun comes up, mow and clean t’ carport. Then we should be ready for this weekend’s open house.
We have t’ go aft t’ Little Rock today because Ian’s first cross-country meet be this afternoon. It won’t be thrillin’ t’ sit at t’ finish line and wait, but it be thrillin’ that Ian be runnin’. I hope he sticks it out. Anyway, I think I’ve procrastinated enough. Must. Clean. (after another cup o’ coffee, o’ course…)”
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what time is it?
It’s early, that’s for damn sure.
Too early to be up cleaning…which obviously I’m not doing since I’m blogging.
I can has procrastinashun.
Last night, after a full day of dusting, cleaning, sneezing and watching 2 movies (oops, I accidentally sat down with the TV on…that’ll show me!) I went to dinner with my friend Andrea. It was nice to just sit and chill…and sneeze. Damn those dusty blinds! where’s my claritin?
Now this morning I have to finish vacuuming the cat hair out of the air and off the furniture, mop the floor and hit the road. Fishdog was up all night working (I don’t know if getting this new Powerbook was such a good idea now) so he was coming to bed as I was making coffee. He’s gonna get up when the sun comes up, mow and clean the carport. Then we should be ready for this weekend’s open house.
We have to go back to Little Rock today because Ian’s first cross-country meet is this afternoon. It won’t be thrilling to sit at the finish line and wait, but it is thrilling that Ian is running. I hope he sticks it out.
Anyway, I think I’ve procrastinated enough. Must. Clean. (after another cup of coffee, of course…)
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dirty bitch
I’m a dirty bitch right now.
I’ve come back to Oxford to dust and mop for our Open House this weekend and I am filthy.
Who knew there could be so much dust in one house…especially in the blinds? (probably everyone knew but me since I apparently never dust. Hey Mel, if you dusted more, this wouldn’t be a problem!)
So, anyway, that’s not the only thing that makes me dirty…I discovered yesterday that something really is wrong with me.
It’s not a secret that I’m not right in the head. Not long ago, I confessed my lust for Steve from Blue’s Clues. I opened up my heart and let it bleed on my blog. And now I’m about to do it again.
Remember the country boy from Sling Blade? You know, little Lucas Black? Well, I’ve been watching this boy grow up and finding my thoughts turning toward the impure as he became a teenager. Friday Night Lights was a great movie (and a great TV show, too) and Lucas was extremely hot. But too young for me to call hot, so I just ignored the naughtiness that meandered inside me. But then last night, I finally watched The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Oh how my naughty river flowed once again.
Thank God he’s 25 years old now. At least I’m not as dirty as I first thought. Which I think is a good thing…
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i’m a loser…but i’m having fun
So, Marley wins…I mean, ‘Bama wins. We sucked. It sucked. I drank and didn’t care after a while. But I still love my Piggies and I’m still a Houston Nutt supporter. Go Hogs. Sorry you brought home the big L tonight.
After the game and many beers, we pulled out the Fishdog’s new Mac Powerbook. I love this machine. I love typing on it and I love the fact that I can take funky pictures with it.
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go hogs go!
Spank ‘Bama!
Today, my friend becomes my “enemy”. I love you, Marley. But today, we must fight.
For those who are interested, last year my Piggies beat ‘Bama in 2 overtimes…It was ugly, but I was wearing my beer goggles so ugly didn’t matter….
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friday, part the 2nd…
I volunteered at the school today and they worked me over like a cheap hooker. Okay, maybe not the best metaphor considering the fact this is a Catholic school, but you get the picture. It was 5 hours of hard labor–without an epidural. Trust me, drugs would’ve helped, tremendously.
I had a good time despite the fact I was wishing for a hit of pain killers. I hung out with a cool Egyptian chick (been in America since ’68 so really she’s more American than Egyptian now…) anyway, Maggie is the mother of 3 beautiful girls. You know, dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes…the kinda girls that will be called “exotic beauties” when they’re older. We had a great time. We spent the day moving and unpacking boxes and laughing at assisting the snooty other moms were also there to “help”.
So, this whole Catholic immersion thing is new to me. A: I’m protestant and a lapsed protestant at that. B: I think organized religion ruins spirituality C: What do you mean Mass doesn’t count except on Saturday’s after 4:00 pm and on Sundays? If it doesn’t count, why the hell are y’all going all the damn time? But I’m hanging in there and being as supportive as I can be for a heathen an uneducated protestant.
Sometimes I worry one of the parents will find my blog and my kids will be kicked out because their mom has had naughty thoughts about Steve from Blue’s Clues (honestly, can they forgive a naughty river?), has posted half nekkid pictures of hot guys, is writing a Vampire YA, and gets pretty hot and bothered when reading MMF. Could you imagine that conversation?
“But she’s in PTO. She can’t be all bad.”
“But she likes reading MMF sex! I bet she liked watching Queer as Folk… (I did. Hot naked guys for 1 hour a week. Duh.)
“She writes about the undead. She’s a sinner.”
“We could convert her…”
“Um. Do we really want to convert her?”
“Good point.”
Of course, this is my overactive imagination working overdrive ( I write fiction, you know?) The school takes our money and welcomes us into their fold. It’s been fabulous there. The kids like it tremendously and I’ve felt very welcome by the people who count. (actually, the majority of the school and administration has been more than welcoming. Just one or two moms have tried their best to make me feel uncomfortable. They didn’t realize I thrive on the challenge..)
Just because I feel like it, here’s one of my favorite scenes from Rush Hour (shut up, I like this movie). It’s not the scene I quote the most… (“Do you hear the words that are comin’ out of my mouf?”) But it is one of my favorite scenes. Enjoy, bitches.
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 