Bueller, Bueller

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Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a great movie from my teenage time (notice how deftly I avoided any reference to the exact number of years we’re talking about?) and now an important monument from that movie is on the market (Ferrari not included)

That’s right: Cameron’s house is for sale. Who wants to buy it for me? It’s only $2.3M which is a veritable bargain for this one of a kind structure.

If you haven’t seen FBDO, then open a new tab on your browser and immediately put it in your Netflix Queue. Yes…even you young whipper-snappers will love this movie. Go on. Do it. you won’t regret it.

Rick-rolled in real life

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I’ve ruined my child. I know this isn’t a surprise to most of you out there, but I still feel the need to say the words out loud.

It’s official. I really have ruined him.

We know he’s special for an 11 year old. I mean, what other pre-teen’s favorite word is facetious? Who else is planning his high school selection based on whether or not he’ll want to cut his hair? My child…that’s who. (Did I tell y’all that story? He announced the other day that he will not be cutting his hair for 3 years until he goes to Catholic High (where they require short hair). I explained that if he grows his hair for 3 years that he might not want to go from super long to super short. He told me that’s why he had a back up plan: “See, I know I’m going to get into Catholic b/c I’m smart and I’m a legacy, so I’ve decided that if I really like my awesome hair, I’ll go to Central instead.”) Oy.

Two days ago, this very unique-minded child announced he had a new favorite song.

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP by Rick Astley

No. I’m not kidding. He’s been Rick-rolling himself ever since by watching the video over and over and singing it at the top of his lungs. Please use the headphones, Mr. Francis. I promise, if I have to hear that song one more time, I absolutely will give you up.

I have ruined my child and now I’m having to live with the end result. Karma really is a bitch sometimes.

Or as my momma always said: You pay for your raisin’… (Which I always heard as You pay for your raisin…and I always thought “Well duh, cuz otherwise you’d be stealing. And who would steal a raisin?”

weird and random miscellaneous

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My 11 year old’s favorite word right now is facetious.

My 15 year old’s favorite word is some incomprehensible grunt/noise thing that has several different meanings. The three I’ve been able to interpret so far are: No, I’m hungry, and Get out.

I woke up this morning with the song WILD WOMEN DO in my head. I don’t know when the last time I heard that song was, and I’m not really sure what the Universe is trying to tell me, but whatever. I’m just gonna sit back and sing it all day.

BECAUSE I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY.

I figure if I’m suffering, so should you. You’re welcome.

only as old as you feel

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Most of you know, I’ve been on this weight loss journey for my entire life a while now. I’ve lost about 35 lbs and a size and a half. (Not quite 2 full sizes, which actually sucks, but I’m working on it.)

Some of my success can be attributed to my appetite–or lack there of. But the majority of my success is due to exercise.

Walking in particular.

I’ve been walking 4-6 miles a day, several days (usually 3-4) a week.

Usually I feel great, and yesterday was no exception…until suddenly it was.

It’s time for new shoes. I’m averaging 60+ (nice typo) 20+ miles a week on shoes I bought in the spring…yeah, these pups are making my dogs bark: among other things.

Yesterday, I’m in the middle of mile three, texting a friend and laughing when suddenly my hips start aching.

I was totally confused by this piercing joint pain.

“No, no,” I say. “My hips don’t hurt. Only old people have hips that hurt.”

So I ignore the pain and keep pushing forward. By mile 4, my hips are very angry.

“No, no,” I say as the piercing shoots to my lower back. “Not going to believe my hips are hurting. I still get carded at the grocery store. I’m not old enough to have hip pain.”

And that’s when my hips start to scream at me: LISTEN LADY! GOOD FOR YOU ON YOUR GREAT SKIN. THAT’S FABULOUS. BUT NO MATTER HOW YOUNG YOU THINK YOU LOOK, YOUR BODY IS STILL 40 AND YOU’RE STILL WEARING SHOES THAT NEED TO BE REPLACED AND WE’RE HURTING. SO SHUT UP WITH THE DENIAL ALREADY AND GET US SOME ADVIL!

So I climbed into my car, drove home, and listened to my hips like a good little girl. 3 Advil and 2 hours later, my hips were all better.

But I’m still too damn young to have hip pain. So tonight I’ll take my Advil before I walk…and I will be replacing my tennis shoes post haste.

Cheating on my blog post

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Here’s a meme for ya because I’m not awake enough to properly blog:

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Scottie Courtney

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
yes. Had lunch with him yesterday as a matter of fact.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
cheap white wine drank from a sprite can.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Daycare provider

5. What was you FIRST car?
1987 Chevrolet Spectrum.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
It will probably be Jennifer Christman. As a matter of fact, I’m a little surprised I haven’t heard from her already.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
like I’m going to tell you guys…

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Kinney @ Bryant Elementary

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Washington DC. I was 18 years old.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
Sherri Hamilton was my first preschool best friend and we were still good friends in high school. and yes we still talk.

11. Where was your FIRST sleepover?
It was in kindergarten at Cathy Finney’s house. I believe that was the sleepover where Carol Catton bit me. Carol and I have moved on from the incident and remain friends today.

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
My kids

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
My friend Jennifer

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Peed. Isn’t that the first thing everyone does in the morning?

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Air Supply, BABY!

16. FIRST tattoo?
4 daisies that travel from right above my heart to my shoulder, across my back. 1 has a dragonfly and 1 has a honeybee on it. I got it this year.

17. FIRST piercing?
My ears, in 4th grade

18. FIRST foreign country you’ve been to?
haven’t had the pleasure, believe it or not.

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Gus

20. FIRST Detention you had?
there were so many, I honestly can’t remember the first.

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Arkansas

22. If you had one wish. What would it be?
This isn’t a fair question to ask me prior to coffee so I’m going to opt out.

23. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
Piano

24. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?
Nobody

football, friends, fun and NATURE!

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Despite the fact that the Razorbacks lost, it was a good weekend.

First of all, the Hogs have a passing game. This is welcome news to all of Arkansas, as we haven’t seen our little piggies throw and catch the ball in years. Actually probably a decade. We could’ve won the game (we should’ve won the game) but we had a player get ejected and the coach got an additional penalty and then the team kinda fell apart after that.

Plus, even though we have an offense; the defense (for either team) was pretty much non-existent. Maybe they should work on that some this week. Just a suggestion.

I saw my friend Debra Parmley who did a book signing at Words Worth books not far from my house. Debra lives a couple of hours away from me, so it was nice to be able to pop over for a quick visit:And then I had Robyn’s bday party to go to. There was dancing, and dancing, and dancing! OH MY! Sunday I walked with @jennchristman and it turned into a nature hike. We saw several deer, a couple of heron, a turtle convention (seriously, I’ve never seen that many turtles on one log before in my life), an alien egg (wish I had gotten a pic of it. When the pod people take over, don’t say I didn’t warn ya) and a tee-tiny little green snake. It was a naturiffic!

Did you have a good weekend? Do anything fun?

happy birthday and WOO PIG SOOIE!

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It’s Robyn’s Birthday! Welcome to the 40 is fantastic club! See you tonight!! (This picture was taken after my launch party was over back in August. Robyn was the hostess with the mostest!)

Also, after a week off, my little piggies are playing the Georgia Bullfrogsdogs tonight.

Go Hogs! Beat Dawgs!

Y’all have a great weekend. And thanks to dealbreaker.com for linking to my Melissa Francis CNBC interview. Welcome to all the new Melissa Francis looky-loos. Pull up a chair and stay a while. My legs might not be as great as hers, but I’m pretty awesome nonetheless.

thanks @MelissaCNBC & other stuff

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First of all, Melissa Francis #2…you rock. Because you have such a great sense of humor and willingly played along with my goofy interview, I will allow you to be Melissa Francis #1 for the weekend.

You’re welcome.

Secondly, I’m really sorry I posted that commercial, but honestly, you can’t blame me! I mean, you did tell me about the commercial–it would’ve just been lazy journalism not to try to find it. Trust me, you looked GRRRRREAT! <–sorry, just can't stop doing that. If you guys are on twitter, follow her @MelissaCNBC

Now onto the other stuff:

I walked in the rain twice this week, wh/ was actually amazing. It was the perfect kind of rain…sometimes getting a little hard, (MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER PLZ!) but mostly just steady and warm. No thunder or lightning…just rain. Ahhh.

I had my weekly GNO last night and just want to say I have the best friends in the world and count myself as a very lucky goddess.

My kids are doing okay in school but need to be doing better so I’m getting ready to throw out the Xbox.

My writing has been slow to non-existent lately, but that’s about to change. Funny how stress canaffect effect affect effect influence the creative flow. Good news is, that stress is now relieved and I’m all better.

I apparently still have trouble with Affect and Effect even though I KNOW the rule, I can’t help myself…I always get it wrong before I get it right.

I had a new wine this week and it’s awesome because it goes with my current favorite song:

Here’s the wine:
And here’s the song:

am I the only one who wants to smack the hell out of the skinny bitch in this video? Chris Young needs a real woman…like me.

Y’all have a great weekend.

A very special guest: CNBC’s Melissa Francis!

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Y’all have gone and done it now. You’ve gone and googled Melissa Francis CNBC one too many times.

Each week it’s something new. Usually it’s all about Melissa’s legs, or inquiring about her marital status…but this week–this week you googlers have googled something new.

Is Melissa Francis pregnant?

I can assure you that neither of us are…how can I be so sure about the state of her uterus? Because I emailed her and asked. (actually I believe I said “according to my stats, you are expecting a Melissa Francis, Jr. Congrats if it’s true.”

After we exchanged a few emails, we decided I should conduct an interview for all you googling looky-loos out there…so here goes:

1. Are you pregnant?

I have to wonder what part of my anatomy is sending this signal. Perhaps I ate too much on vacation. Maybe I’ve let our CNBC stylist tailor my clothes a little bit too snuggly. I’m doing sit ups now while I’m typing, by the way.

2. Are you married or do you have a boyfriend?

Larry Kudlow is my TV husband, but alas he is already spoken for. I think my other tv spouse from MSNBC, Contessa Brewer, is way out of my league. Does this answer your question?

and the most often searched for item is about your awesome legs so tell me:

3. How did you get your awesome legs? (please deny working out in any form…)

That is very flattering. It almost compensates for the pain inflicted by question #1. I did run track in high school… I even did a Frosted Flakes commercial that involved me running hurdles when I was an actor in LA… but these days I mostly run to the set when I’m late for my show because I’ve spent too much time admiring David Faber’s hair in the make up room.

4. Have you read my book? (BITE ME! HarperTeen 2009)
I am still waiting for my signed copy.

5. If no: Why not? If yes: Wasn’t it awesome?

The press on it has been outstanding, and I know it is required reading among vampire elite. I may download it to my Kindle and stop waiting next to my mailbox.

6. Is it hard on you when people ask you if you’re ‘The Melissa Francis who wrote that awesome book?’ or do you just roll with it?

I usually lie and say we are the same person. It makes me seem so much more hip and multi-faceted. It’s much better than letting people think I just write about boring market events, the economy, and what I need at the grocery store.

So now @MelissaCNBC is my new BFF. Or I’m her evil twin. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. She’s GRRRRREAT! (Yes, I found the commercial on YouTube. It’s terrible quality, but it’s AWESOME)

Thanks for playing, Melissa. Your book is in the mail.