Well, that was fun.

Yesterday was very draining. I know people have a bad day and have no issues with telling the world, but when you’re a sponge like I am, you soak up the energy around you. And yesterday, the energy around me was pissy. Negative, bitchy, petty and stressful.

And I was in such a good mood when I got to work! UGH.

So I went home, fired up the grill (QUEEN OF THE GRILL!) and became one with my center. Or at least I tried to. Thank the gods El Jefe makes me laugh. Same with Rader. I needed the laughter badly.

Rader offered to pour me “all the wine” last night. hahaha. I had to decline though, since I’m kinda on the wine wagon during the week. (most of the week, anyway. I chose wine over workout on Tuesday since it was storming.) I did some stretches and grilling and then got all the loves from the puppies and kittehs and my personal Fabio… and by the end of the night, I was all better.

And today, I’m rarin’ to go. I’m also in rare form. Look out world…I’ve got my sparkle turned up to 11 and I don’t care if you’re wearing shades or not!

I can be snarky and funny and a smartass, but I’m rarely negative. I enjoy happiness and smiling at people so they will smile back. I may have a rant or two on occasion, but it’s mostly just me being silly. I will say what most of y’all are thinking. I’m awesome like that, you see.

So today, I’m in a good place and I’m not going to allow any of the crabby people crawl into my happiness bubble full of sunshine and butterflies. And unicorns that fart rainbows.

Because EVERYONE wants a rainbow farting unicorn in their life. Duh.

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Link

To prove I’m not just a cynical bitch (not that I care if that’s what you think…)

The photos in this article will make you believe in love. I guarantee you these couples aren’t out to prove anything to anyone. Look at them.

Beautiful.

Here are a couple of my favorites (credit Huffington Post):

slide_309016_2709278_freeslide_309016_2709274_free slide_309016_2709295_free slide_309016_2709289_freeThese pictures are beautiful and make me smile.

Real. Genuine. And nothing to prove. *sigh*

I love happy.

It’s been 15 days…

And I’ve done some form of exercise 12/15 days.

For me, this is quite an accomplishment. Seriously.

I realized this morning, as I was getting dressed, that I feel good. Like, REALLY good. And it’s nice to look in the mirror and not hate your body. Because honestly, there is nothing healthy about hate. I used to be obsessed with fixing my body. OMG. My body is not broken! I’m not broken!

There is nothing healthy about obsession, either.

Anyway, back to my realization.

In the not-so-distant past, I worked out to see exterior results. I NEEDED to hear people tell me I looked good. I needed the compliments and to be noticed for all my hard work. But this time, it’s different. I’m finding a beautiful sense of satisfaction on the inside. Knowing I’m working hard and feeling great is all the reward I need right now. I’m doing this for me. I like the compliments, but I don’t NEED them.

There is so much freedom in knowing I’m doing this for myself.

And that’s why, this journey is going to be different from my journeys in the past. I am the only motivation I need.

But you can still tell me I look good. 😉

f6ad3de4f8145a0e096d7f542d5ade93Happy Friday, Bitches! I have Bunko tonight, and I’m totally stoked because I haven’t seen my Babes in a while. You guys have a great weekend, and I’ll see you on Monday.

Operation Bootylicous Workout #5

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I saw this workout on Pinterest yesterday and decided to modify it to fit my needs.

I actually had planned to do the 80 lunges and go into the 70 squats, but that changed when I got to 30 lunges. I’m just not there yet.  Because of the arthritis in my elbows, I have a very hard time with planks and push ups, so I made an adjustment to suit my body.

I did this set twice, and by the end, I was winded and wobbly. The sign of a very good workout! And it was a nice change of pace from what I’ve been doing. You know, I don’t wanna be bored…

Last night, I was ravenous about an hour after the workout. I had eaten a big green salad prior, and had a high protein shake afterward, but apparently my body needed more. Unfortunately, it was 9:00 and I don’t eat that late, so I fixed myself some green and roasted dandelion root tea and toughed it out. However, when I woke up this morning, I made myself a yummy little egg and cheese open-faced sandwich on the Pepperidge farm thin whole wheat bread because my stomach had tried to eat my spine overnight.

Increase in hunger is to be expected when your metabolism is kicking into gear, but sadly, I’m not a runner who is competing and needs to fuel up on as many calories as I burn. I’m a girl who is trying to lose weight, and has to remind herself that the point of exercising is to burn the calories…not to jump into a vat of cheese dip and while eating all the chips just because you exercised…

Hmph.

In other, non-workout and whiny because I’m hungry news: Pearl is up and running again! Ian’s dad helped us out with purchasing a new battery and she seems to be purring like a kitten. She still needs to have some tweaks done to her, so we’ll take her in next week and have her looked at. I drove her today, to make sure she was safe. I don’t want Ian carting the 4 year old he’s babysitting around in Pearl if she’s going to break down again… Looks like we’re a go, for take off! yippee!

Ian and Pearl

Ian and Pearl

Life is good, bitches. Live a genuine life and be happy. Or else I might have to get stabby all up in this place. Don’t be taking shit for granted, ya hear?

Gadgets and gidgets and gobots?

Well, no Gobots. Not really. But for old time’s sake, here’s a bit of nostalgia for you readers who have been around for a while. Like me.

Is it just me, or were the Gobots just the poor man’s Transformer?

Anyway…so many of y’all have noticed my health, fitness, OMG I’m trying to eat better! shift in my blog. I used to use my Fat Chicks Running blog for that, but I’ve just decided to move it all here. One stop shopping, so to speak.

Well, since I’ve been adding more food/fitness blogs to my content, I’ve had some awesome private messages and texts, all encouraging and many giving me advice.

My friend Amy (who I used to work with in Oxford) messaged me last night about this wonder product she’s using to help her with low carb and less processed foods eating.

The GEFU Spirelli Spiral Cutter
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This magic tool of awesome lets you cut veggies into spiral so you can have fake pasta! Tough veggies like Sweet Potatoes. Or Zucchini. Mmmmm. It is on my must buy list.

Last night was workout #2 at Melf’s Bootay Compound Bootcamp of Bootyliciousness. I focused on arms and shoulders and of course, abs. It was just me and Ruby and Big Baby last night. Rader had dinner with his Nonnie. Which was just as well. It was an ugly work out. U.G.L.Y. But I feel great today, even if I am a bit sore.

Okay, Bitches. I have a dreaded meeting in 45 minutes. I’ve eaten my breakfast, I’ve fueled up on coffee, and I’m sparkling like champagne. Y’all be good today. Or at least, be good at it!

have you met my spirit animal?

Meet the Pin Up Girl. Pin-up-girl-Wallpaper-Art-Painting

I have always been enamored with the Pin Up Girls of yore. (Yes. I said yore.) They were soft, curvy, beautiful and their clothes were kick ass! Hell, if you don’t find them sexy, I think you probably needs some therapy. And glasses.

Now, I haven’t always identified with the Pin Up Girl, I’ve just always loved them. Then El Jefe and I started dating and he made a comment to me one day, just a few weeks into our fledgling romance that stuck  with me forever.  He told me he would love to have an image of me painted onto his motorcycle in pinup style, because that’s what he saw when he looked at me. Basically, he told me I was his calendar girl. I may have swooned.

I’ve never felt more beautiful in my life. That was the biggest compliment ever.

And from that moment on, the Pin UP Girl became my spirit animal. (don’t worry, the dragonfly is still my real totem, but…I’m embracing the Pin Up and making her my bitch)

beach_chair_pin_up_girl_retro_art_postcard-rfcae5bdc55a449a9b56ba2da5719db8e_vgbaq_8byvr_512Okay, RAPID TOPIC CHANGE!

Tonight is Workout #2 of Melf’s Compound Bootylicious Bootcamp. (I know the title keeps changing. Shut up. I like my brain’s ADHD) It will be just me and Rader (and probably my nephew Ryan) because *drumroll please*

IAN GOT A JOB!

That’s right, my fellow interneters. My 19-year-old-practically-grown-assed-son finally landed himself a gig. I’m very proud of him, because this is the job he’s been wanting and has been trying to get since spring. And he didn’t give up. And he did it by himself. Sure it took him a while, but who cares. He did it. On his own. And that’s what matters.

Anyway, back to Melf’s Compound Bootay’s Bootyliciousness.  I’m going to add in more upper body tonight.  I need to sculpt my awesome so my inner Calendar Girl shows on the outside to everyone. Not just my sexy El Jefe

Hmmm. El Jefe will be home tonight. Wonder if we can convince him to join us in our misery?

I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to cheer us on while taking pictures and laughing…with us. Not at us, of course.

OH and for an awesome fitness blog with tips and workouts and menus (oh, MY), check out Muffin-Topless.com. She’s pretty amazing. And her body is to fucking die for. Damn. You could do laundry on her abs!

And in one last bit of news…I have committed to doing a Yoga class this weekend for the first time in 15+ years. My sweet friend, Brandi Soucy is going to help me out…because I will need extra attention due to the girls. Downward Dog can actually mean suffocation when you’re G for Gifted.

There will be a blog about it next week. And there will probably be pictures. I ask that you keep your judgement of my inflexible fluff to yourself, as I am trying. Laugh all you want…on your inside.

Actually, laugh all you want. I will be. Fuck it. It’s gonna be awesome. And funny. But mostly awesome. 😀

Melf’s Compound BootyCamp Day 1: Report in, sir.

pinup18So…it was kind of a success! I say “Kind of” because clearly, I like to believe I’m still fit as I was when I played 3 hours of basketball every afternoon and ran a 9 minute mile without breaking a sweat.

Just in case you were wondering, I am NOT in high school, anymore.

The boys were awesome. I actually didn’t expect them to take it seriously and get out there with me, but they did. Even my nephew Ryan jumped in!

I made 1 round of all the exercises, which totaled 22 minutes. I had hoped to do the full round of 42 minutes, but it just didn’t happen. I know I got a good workout in though because I wanted to puke a couple of times. That’s how you know you’re doin’ it right. Right? LOL

Or it could have just been the extreme heat and humidity. Whatever.

It was a pretty leg intensive workout, which is what I need. (the boys bitched about it. Said they want more upper body work. hah!) I have large thigh and butt muscles (big butt, SO WHAT?)  and I need to focus on getting rid of the extra padding around them. But we did arm work along with the leg work, so we did get a pretty full body workout.

I’m quite pleased with my first attempt, thankyouverymuch.

I ran out of energy faster than expected because I didn’t eat enough calories yesterday. I ate some peanut butter on a whole wheat pita about an hour prior to the workout, but…it just wasn’t enough to get me through. I have GOT to do better about eating more calories during the day. The thing about doing the low carb lifestyle is I’m just not as hungry. Which is GOOD and bad…because I have to eat for energy if I’m going to exercise more than just walking. And of course, if I exercise at night, I generally am not hungry at all afterward. Whicexercisepinuph means I ended yesterday with only 821 calories and I burned 420. Not good for energy levels.

This morning I made sure I ate a good breakfast. A grilled chicken burrito with Greek Cream Cheese and spinach on a low carb, whole wheat tortilla. It was so tasty and satisfying. And I’m not crabby at all.

We’re gonna be back at it on Wednesday night! I hope I can push myself to do more than half the workout. I have a hard time motivating myself to do the workouts. I need a coach to bully me. LOL Oh, the 80s. How I don’t miss being yelled at and shamed for being curvier and slower than the rest of the basketball team. I certainly wasn’t anywhere close to fat at 135 lbs and 5’6 tall. But to hear the coach tell it, I was morbidly obese and lazy.

Which is why, now that I am overweight, it’s really hard for me to motivate myself. I shame myself for the body I have because I felt so much shame about the body I had. WTF is wrong with adults who shame children like that? Don’t they know that shit sticks?

Eh. The only failure is failing to try again. So, I’m just gonna keep trying until I’m successful.

And I’m going to love me for who I am. Because seriously? I’m pretty fat-tastic. FANtastic. Awesome even. And I’m gonna rock this body, no matter its size, shape or leftover shame. There is no shame in being human. There is only shame in being an ugly-on-the-inside human.

I am ANYTHING but ugly. Inside or out.

Let’s stay motivated, bitches!

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Monday, funday…?

Ugh. It’s so hard to come back to work after such an awesome weekend. Sigh.

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Not your typical blow job…

My favorite picture from the weekend? Look at that laugh. LOL This is El Jefe cleaning himself up after weedeating the Compound. Yes. He’s using a leaf blower to remove the debris…and dry his hair. This man makes me smile.

For more awesome weekend pics, check out my instagram... There’s some of Ruby, and coffee, and wine, and MEAT…and various other awesome stuff.

Saturday, El Jefe and I took Rader to see WORLD WAR Z and it was fantastic. Seriously. I jumped and yelped a couple of times. According to Rader “I’m such a girl.” LOL Well, yes, I am.

Rader cracks me up. He texted me all weekend long, sending me jokes and images he finds on reddit. His latest find is r/onetruegod. OMG. Nicholas Cage is the One True God. So freaking hysterical.  I believe I may have some Cagey plans for my kiddo now…

And on a final, slightly ranty note… Last week, we all read about Paula Deen’s dirty little not-so-secret issues. And suddenly, people are all up in arms, “forgiving” her on Facebook. DID SHE CALL YOU A MONKEY? No? Is she paying you less money than your white counterparts? No? Did she or her brother tell you “fuck your civil rights?” No? Then what the fuck do you have to forgive? Seriously? IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, PEOPLE. There’s nothing for YOU to forgive. Good Grief. Everything is about you, isn’t it?

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you, don’t you, don’t you?

Narcissism. You're doing it right...

Narcissism. You’re doing it right…

 

things that make me…

Sad:

George Jones died today.

This song still makes me tear up. RIP George. If there’s a heaven, I hope you’re partying your ass off like the rock star you are! (and like you used to do…without remorse!)

THIS is being taught as SCIENCE.

It’s okay to believe what you choose to believe, but you should not teach your personal beliefs as scientific FACT when there is actual SCIENTIFIC PROOF that you are wrong is just plain ignorant. UGH. I fear for the future of these kids who are being taught this as science.

Things that make me HAPPY:

A CAT. IN A SHARK SUIT. RIDING A ROOMBA. CHASING A DUCK. It just doesn’t get more awesome than that.

Well, THIS might be more awesome. But only slightly.

Things that make me AWESOME:

Sassy pants. Sparkle. Humility. (LMAO) and a bag of Gardetto’s for Breakfast. (Hey, I almost chose the Chili Cheese Fritos. I think I made the better choice.)

I need a beach. Until I have this in real life, I’ll have to stick to imagining this is me and Jefe on our private island somewhere.

weekend wrap up

El Jefe and I spent Friday afternoon at Pinnacle mountain walking the dogs and having a generally fantastic day.

Saturday, we met my friend from Oxford, Rhonda, and her pals for breakfast in the Rivermarket, then the rest of the day was spent mowing and moving dead limbs.

Ruby wants to steal my boyfriend away. Sorry Rubes. John Deere loves me more.

Sunday was Funday. Brunch with the boys and Lynne. We had the most difficult time finding a place to eat, so we finally wound up on the patio at Big Whiskeys.

Rader and Laken hung out like big buds the whole time. There was even a dance-off at one point. I think Laken was the winner, but don’t tell Rader. He’s sensitive about that stuff.

After lunch, Rader had his first driving lesson. He did a great job! Then Ian drove me to US Pizza where we sat on the patio again, while Rader played some pickup soccer.

All in all it was a fantabulous weekend. The pollen has decided to invade my sinus cavities, but it’s not too bad, yet. I just need to take a little claritin and move on.

Hope your weekend was as amazing as mine!