Tag Archives: motivation

to scale or not to scale, that is the question.

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I have decided NOT to scale anymore.

Fuck you, scales. You’re a Liar McLiarpants and I don’t like liars.

tumblr_m7oay3FSlX1rn13nao1_500Seriously? I know muscle weighs more than fat. I know I’m muscular and tend to develop quickly when working out…which is why I’m using low weights/high reps. Not that I’m afraid of bulking up…I’m not. I WANT to build muscle. I need to increase my metabolism and I know I am because I’m waking up starving to death in the mornings.

But my scales are an asshole. Complete and total asshole.

So I’ve decided to stop weighing. Because it does nothing but depress me. Especially since I’ve spent the last 3 weeks doing nothing but journaling my food/calories and working out like a boss and eating and drinking right…and then I weigh and it tells me I’ve gained 4 more pounds.

Go home scales, you’re drunk.

Do you know how hard not weighing is going to be for me?

scale-photoI know that weighing goes back to my dreaded high school years when I kept being “put” on a diet. You know, because being 5’6 with hips and weighing 140 lbs was considered fat in the 80s. They weren’t big fans of the Big Butt, So What school of thought back then.

Anyway, I was expected to weigh in at least once a week. Unfortunately, I start getting weirdly competitive with myself and start weighing daily…I tell myself it’s to keep track of my progress, so I can catch myself gaining again. The problem with that is, I start to obsess. And then I get pissed off when I KNOW I’m doing everything right and the scale refuses to acknowledge my hard work.

I’m going to hide them. Actually, I’m going to give them to El Jefe and tell him to hide them. Somewhere I’ll never look. Probably a good spot would be where we store the dusting supplies, since I never dust.

Fuck you, Scales. I’m so over you. We’re breaking up. I hear Taylor Swift may be looking for a new relationship. If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll write a song about you.

And to end on a happy note, here’s the gratuitous cat picture of the day. Big Baby: He’s such a big baby.

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It’s been 15 days…

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And I’ve done some form of exercise 12/15 days.

For me, this is quite an accomplishment. Seriously.

I realized this morning, as I was getting dressed, that I feel good. Like, REALLY good. And it’s nice to look in the mirror and not hate your body. Because honestly, there is nothing healthy about hate. I used to be obsessed with fixing my body. OMG. My body is not broken! I’m not broken!

There is nothing healthy about obsession, either.

Anyway, back to my realization.

In the not-so-distant past, I worked out to see exterior results. I NEEDED to hear people tell me I looked good. I needed the compliments and to be noticed for all my hard work. But this time, it’s different. I’m finding a beautiful sense of satisfaction on the inside. Knowing I’m working hard and feeling great is all the reward I need right now. I’m doing this for me. I like the compliments, but I don’t NEED them.

There is so much freedom in knowing I’m doing this for myself.

And that’s why, this journey is going to be different from my journeys in the past. I am the only motivation I need.

But you can still tell me I look good. 😉

f6ad3de4f8145a0e096d7f542d5ade93Happy Friday, Bitches! I have Bunko tonight, and I’m totally stoked because I haven’t seen my Babes in a while. You guys have a great weekend, and I’ll see you on Monday.

and she cried more, more, more!

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Just in case you care, here’s a copy of last night’s workout. (I’m combining various HIIT/and muscle specific exercises for a variety of workouts) Also, I’m not a fitness guru, I’m doing this on my own, at my own risk. If you decide to follow my workouts, it’s all on you. I’m just a moron who can’t afford a personal trainer.  You don’t have to be one, too.

Bootyliciousness workout #6

Bootyliciousness workout #6

By the time I was done with this half-hour…I was crying NO MORE! and I was sweating like a cold beer on a hot table.

I’m staying pretty focused and doing well with my daily exercising…I’m sore, but not in pain. I’m sleeping better and I’m pushing myself to do just “one more” and not quitting when my body wants to.

I’m struggling with keeping my core tight and maintaining appropriate posture when I get tired.

But it’s a process. And I’m showing progress, so no complaints here. (other than, FEED ME!!)

So last night…I had a dream about my ass.

Yep. You read that right. I. Had a dream. About my ASS.

I dreamed that I woke up one morning and was getting dressed and looked in the mirror and my ass looked like this:

It ain't gonna spank itself, fellas.

It ain’t gonna spank itself, fellas.

Now you know why I’m doing all those damn squats. I know my ass is never gonna be this size, but if it could be that shape? I’d never keep my hands off my own ass.

Oh well. I’m always going to have a big butt (So WHAT?) and that’s why, this is my motto

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let’s hear it for more, more, more lunges, squats and big ol’ butts that cannot lie!

Melf’s Compound BootyCamp Day 1: Report in, sir.

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pinup18So…it was kind of a success! I say “Kind of” because clearly, I like to believe I’m still fit as I was when I played 3 hours of basketball every afternoon and ran a 9 minute mile without breaking a sweat.

Just in case you were wondering, I am NOT in high school, anymore.

The boys were awesome. I actually didn’t expect them to take it seriously and get out there with me, but they did. Even my nephew Ryan jumped in!

I made 1 round of all the exercises, which totaled 22 minutes. I had hoped to do the full round of 42 minutes, but it just didn’t happen. I know I got a good workout in though because I wanted to puke a couple of times. That’s how you know you’re doin’ it right. Right? LOL

Or it could have just been the extreme heat and humidity. Whatever.

It was a pretty leg intensive workout, which is what I need. (the boys bitched about it. Said they want more upper body work. hah!) I have large thigh and butt muscles (big butt, SO WHAT?)  and I need to focus on getting rid of the extra padding around them. But we did arm work along with the leg work, so we did get a pretty full body workout.

I’m quite pleased with my first attempt, thankyouverymuch.

I ran out of energy faster than expected because I didn’t eat enough calories yesterday. I ate some peanut butter on a whole wheat pita about an hour prior to the workout, but…it just wasn’t enough to get me through. I have GOT to do better about eating more calories during the day. The thing about doing the low carb lifestyle is I’m just not as hungry. Which is GOOD and bad…because I have to eat for energy if I’m going to exercise more than just walking. And of course, if I exercise at night, I generally am not hungry at all afterward. Whicexercisepinuph means I ended yesterday with only 821 calories and I burned 420. Not good for energy levels.

This morning I made sure I ate a good breakfast. A grilled chicken burrito with Greek Cream Cheese and spinach on a low carb, whole wheat tortilla. It was so tasty and satisfying. And I’m not crabby at all.

We’re gonna be back at it on Wednesday night! I hope I can push myself to do more than half the workout. I have a hard time motivating myself to do the workouts. I need a coach to bully me. LOL Oh, the 80s. How I don’t miss being yelled at and shamed for being curvier and slower than the rest of the basketball team. I certainly wasn’t anywhere close to fat at 135 lbs and 5’6 tall. But to hear the coach tell it, I was morbidly obese and lazy.

Which is why, now that I am overweight, it’s really hard for me to motivate myself. I shame myself for the body I have because I felt so much shame about the body I had. WTF is wrong with adults who shame children like that? Don’t they know that shit sticks?

Eh. The only failure is failing to try again. So, I’m just gonna keep trying until I’m successful.

And I’m going to love me for who I am. Because seriously? I’m pretty fat-tastic. FANtastic. Awesome even. And I’m gonna rock this body, no matter its size, shape or leftover shame. There is no shame in being human. There is only shame in being an ugly-on-the-inside human.

I am ANYTHING but ugly. Inside or out.

Let’s stay motivated, bitches!

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A mother’s plight

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I have a child who isn’t motivated by ANYTHING. He’s having trouble in school…not turning in homework, doing poorly on tests, doodling instead of taking notes, etc. (he’s a lot like me, actually…but school came much easier to me than it does to him)

I need help.

Tonight, if I don’t beat him into submission, I’m going to have to figure out how to snap him to attention.

We’ve offered to pay him– $10 for every A on his report card; $5 for Bs and nothing for Cs…anything lower, and he owes us money. He seemed excited about this and we thought–YAY! WE FOUND HIS MOTIVATION. Since we made this deal, he’s missed 3 homework assignments. ARGH!

Should I promise him a trip to wherever he wants to go if he straightens up? Should I beat the snot outta him? Should I just ignore it and hope it’ll go away?

The teacher is asking for advice–unfortunately, I have none to give. Sigh.