Hope you guys have a great holiday. Remember to wear your elastic-waisted pants.
Here’s a Thanksgiving skit from MadTV that is sure to make you laugh.
happy thanksgiving! and all that jazz
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let’s get it on
Let’s start off the weekend with some Marvin Gaye. Time to get your groove on.
Got big plans?
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channeling James Brown: I FEEL GOOD!
Okay, so Monday’s post was a bit of a downer, and if y’all know me (and I think you do) you know that I don’t like to dwell on the negative. Because really? Dwelling on the ugly doesn’t make it any less ugly, does it? Nope. But dwelling in uglyville can certainly start making me feel all yucky on my inside parts and that is the last thing I want.
So last night I walked with @JennChristman for over an hour. We haven’t gotten to do that in a while and it was so nice to get back into our walking groove. We had lots to talk about because the ‘bridge people’ were out in droves. (We saw a guy with BACK CRACK!! OMG. Who has BACK CRACK?) And a major Cammo-DON’T. Or Cammo-No. Or just CamNo. Not sure…you pick. But this skinny chick was wearing two differen’t patterns of cammo…the pants looked like PJ pants. It was wrong on sooooo many levels.
While we were walking, I totally got caught checking a cyclist out. Completely busted. But then, I guess he got busted too, so that makes us even. Jenn and I were walking and this cute biker was coming toward us. I smiled, he smiled, I thought “Hmmmm. Cute.” and then I waited a few seconds and turned to check out his backside…and apparently he was turning to check out mine at the same time. DOH! total movie moment and funny as hell. Never saw him again, so it wasn’t serendipity…but it was awesome.
I slept hard last night after finally catching up on Project Runway! (can I just say YAY ALTHEA AND CAROL HANNAH!?) And this morning, I decided to wear my favorite necklace. Good things always happen when I wear this necklace. I don’t know if it’s because I always feel great when I wear it or what…but I love it.
It makes me happy.
Another thing that makes me happy? Atomic Fireballs, Jelly Bellies, and Lemonheads.
OH and Key Lime Pie. Though it is a little out of season for the actual pie here in Arkansas. But when I taste Key Lime Pie I always think of the beach and that ALWAYS makes me happy. (So does the Kenny Chesney song.)
Speaking of songs that make me happy:
Tell me what gets you in a good mood when you’ve had a crappy week?
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another dirty little secret
I’ve confessed a few dirty little secrets before:
- The Flo Rida secret
- My White Trash Crush secret
- Stifler’s Mom secret
- The Dirty Bitch secret
- The Blue’s Clues secret (my personal fave)
But I have another secret I must share. But before I do, I need you to promise you won’t judge me. I couldn’t stand it if you judged me…
Okay, here goes…
I used to have a cartoon crush on the Heat Miser…but now, I have a real live version of him to love!
Kevin Miser Gillespie from Top Chef!
Tell me you don’t think they could be the same person? Go on, I dare ya.
Now if you’re familiar with the classic holiday film A YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS, you might be wondering why I didn’t have a crush on the wittier brother, Snow Miser. The answer is simple, really…Snow Miser had snotcicles. Seriously, who could crush on a guy with snotcicles?
So in my youth, I had a crush on a poorly animated dude named Heat Miser and as an adult, I’m totally crushing on Kevin G from Top Chef. Sure he can cook…but really, the reason I’m a little bit in love with him is because I know, his secret identity. (he can melt things with a touch…he’s too much!)
TOP CHEF SPOILER
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WTF? seriously, why didn’t they send Robin home? She’s a hack. And annoying. I was so shocked. I yelled at the tv like it was a Razorback football game and we were having to play both the opposing team and the refs….
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Bueller, Bueller
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a great movie from my teenage time (notice how deftly I avoided any reference to the exact number of years we’re talking about?) and now an important monument from that movie is on the market (Ferrari not included)
That’s right: Cameron’s house is for sale. Who wants to buy it for me? It’s only $2.3M which is a veritable bargain for this one of a kind structure.
If you haven’t seen FBDO, then open a new tab on your browser and immediately put it in your Netflix Queue. Yes…even you young whipper-snappers will love this movie. Go on. Do it. you won’t regret it.
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Rick-rolled in real life
I’ve ruined my child. I know this isn’t a surprise to most of you out there, but I still feel the need to say the words out loud.
It’s official. I really have ruined him.
We know he’s special for an 11 year old. I mean, what other pre-teen’s favorite word is facetious? Who else is planning his high school selection based on whether or not he’ll want to cut his hair? My child…that’s who. (Did I tell y’all that story? He announced the other day that he will not be cutting his hair for 3 years until he goes to Catholic High (where they require short hair). I explained that if he grows his hair for 3 years that he might not want to go from super long to super short. He told me that’s why he had a back up plan: “See, I know I’m going to get into Catholic b/c I’m smart and I’m a legacy, so I’ve decided that if I really like my awesome hair, I’ll go to Central instead.”) Oy.
Two days ago, this very unique-minded child announced he had a new favorite song.
NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP by Rick Astley
No. I’m not kidding. He’s been Rick-rolling himself ever since by watching the video over and over and singing it at the top of his lungs. Please use the headphones, Mr. Francis. I promise, if I have to hear that song one more time, I absolutely will give you up.
I have ruined my child and now I’m having to live with the end result. Karma really is a bitch sometimes.
Or as my momma always said: You pay for your raisin’… (Which I always heard as You pay for your raisin…and I always thought “Well duh, cuz otherwise you’d be stealing. And who would steal a raisin?”
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weird and random miscellaneous
My 11 year old’s favorite word right now is facetious.
My 15 year old’s favorite word is some incomprehensible grunt/noise thing that has several different meanings. The three I’ve been able to interpret so far are: No, I’m hungry, and Get out.
I woke up this morning with the song WILD WOMEN DO in my head. I don’t know when the last time I heard that song was, and I’m not really sure what the Universe is trying to tell me, but whatever. I’m just gonna sit back and sing it all day.
BECAUSE I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY.
I figure if I’m suffering, so should you. You’re welcome.
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the power (ballad) of love
(if you’re reading this on FB, you’ll have to go to my website to see the videos…if that’s what you’re into…)
Some days a girl just needs to rock out with her heart out. (oh, I know what y’all were thinking I was gonna say there. But seriously. This is a family blog. *snort* yup, I said that. Out loud.) Anyway, some days are power ballad days: and today is one of them.
It started this morning when Def Leppard’s LOVE BITES came on the radio. (Really, can’t everything be blamed on Def Leppard one way or another? Or is that just me?)
How can you hear that song and not feel their pain? Heart wrenching. Or at least it was way back when. Music is kinda like a time machine though, isn’t it? Or at least it’s like a Way Back Machine. I’m not sure music has transported me anywhere into the future yet, but it definitely always takes me back.
So I got to thinking (yes, that’s what that burning smell was. I carry a fire extinguisher with me at all times just in case I happen to have more than one thought at a time) what were some of my favorite power ballads from way back when?
There’s Ozzy and Lita Ford CLOSE MY EYES FOREVER
Skid Row I REMEMBER YOU (a personal fave)
Poison EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
Dokken ALONE AGAIN
Cinderella DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT TIL IT’S GONE
Guns -n- Roses NOVEMBER RAIN
I’m sure I missed several, but these are the ones that always pull me back to my angsty late teens/early twenties when the world was going to end if that boy didn’t love me like I loved him.
Did I miss your fave power ballad? Or were you power ballad ignorant til this educational post?
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too sexy for my shirt
I’m busy finishing edits, doing laundry and packing so I can head off to DC tomorrow for the RWA Conference!
Sorry. Just don’t have time to blog. Here, let me entertain you with this lovely little gem: Monty Python’s Knights of the Round Table, an interpretive dance by the original members of Star Trek…
(video embedded in original post)
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8 reasons
I didn’t give birth to girls for several reasons. I’m quite sure that Fate knew what the hell she was doing when she kept me from mothering the female gender. You would think that because I’m an awesome female that would automatically make me an awesome mother to a female. Well if that’s what you think, your thinking is flawed.
8 Reasons Mel Did Not Give Birth to Girls:
- You know that song that you hear that just speaks to you? It played for the first time during the perfect moment and it just stuck? And you get a rush of love feelings like goosebumps, and flutters, and heart palpitations? (or is that just me?) Well, one of those songs for me when I was younger was MANDOLIN RAIN by Bruce Hornsby. What does this have to do w/ me not having a daughter? I was going to name my daughter Manodlin Rain. I wish I was kidding. I’m not. (I still love the song, BTW)
- My favorite color is pink, but there is no way in hell I would dress my little girl in pink unless it was a baseball cap. Or a football jersey.
- I would NEVER tape a bow to my baby girl’s bald-ass head. WHY WOULD ANYONE TAPE A BOW TO A BALD HEAD?
- I would NEVER put a big flowery headband on my baby girl’s bald-ass head. AGAIN. I JUST DON’T GET THIS.
- Just because my child is XX doesn’t mean she can’t learn to drive a boat, shoot a gun (if that’s what you’re into), play football (I had a helluva arm. Still do actually), go frog giggin’, catch crawdads, climb a tree, and get dirty. Apparently I’m in the rare minority of southern mommas who believe this.
- If I’d had a daughter, she would’ve been cursed with my hips. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sex-on-a-stick but I wouldn’t wish these hips on anyone. There’s a difference between curvy and dangerous curves ahead. I’m pretty sure my hips put me into the dangerous arena. Mainly because I knock into shit as I walk by; not because they’re so sexy they’re dangerous.
- I think super long hair on little girls is a waste of good playing time. I also don’t think girls should have to brush their hair if they don’t want to. I mean, that’s why we have ball caps and ponytails, right?
- She would’ve probably also inherited my mouth. It’s bad enough that I have boys with my smart mouth, but really, why would I want to bring another female into this world with the same curse?
I’m sure I could go on, but these are just a few reasons why Fate was smart enough to give me dirty, rotten, stinky (very stinky), unkempt, lizard-huntin’ boys.
Please enjoy the Mandolin Rain video…(seriously, I’m kinda back on the it would make a great name bandwagon!)
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 