a violation of rights

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I’m thoroughly disgusted right now.

When I ran Rader to school this morning, I noticed my Obama yard sign had ‘fallen’ over. It looked odd because a: there was no wind last night and b: I had buried the sign pretty deep in the yard. I called Fishdog and told him it looked funny but that I would check it out when I got home.

It was just as I had suspected. Someone stole the sign post. At least they were kind enough to leave me my sign. (which is now tacked up on my tree…)

You know what? You have every right to disagree with me and my politics. But you have NO RIGHT to enter my yard and tamper with my property.

When I picked up the sign in Oxford, they told me that I would need to take it in at night because the signs were being slashed, stolen, and run over. I had a hard time believing that. I thought maybe it had happened just randomly or as a practical joke between friends.

I guess I was wrong.

What is the purpose of infringing on my rights to express my opinion? Did they think it would change my opinion? Did they think maybe if there was one less Obama sign up that people wouldn’t magically forget he was running?

What gives you the right to tell me my opinion is invalid? Because basically when you take the sign out of my yard or rip my bumper sticker off my car, you’re quashing my freedom of speech. And buddy, I hate to tell you, but I’ll fight tooth and nail for the right to express my opinion.

Get ready. The fight is on.

My yard. My sign. My freedom of speech. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to drive by my house. But trust me when I say by this afternoon, you’ll know damn good and well I’m supporting Obama.

More pictures to follow.

BTW: Author Maureen Johnson started a group called YA for Obama to encourage teens to get involved. Pop over and check it out. Opposing views are welcome.

An Open Letter to Secret Deodorant

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I tried a new deodorant. I had a coupon and I figured, why not? I’m not that smelly. It should work fine.

Well, it doesn’t. Not compared to Secret Platinum. So today I ran up to the drugstore to pick up Rader’s special deodorant (he is picky cuz he is really stinky LOL) and I decided to pick up my Secret and replace the bargain basement crap I bought last time.

And now for an open letter to Secret Deodorant:

Dear Secret,

Do. Not. Want.

I love your Platinum product. I do. But can you explain to me why you think I want my armpits to smell like Brazillian Cherries? Or Vanilla Chai? or Tropcial Tango?

I would like to have a nice little chat with your marketing department. You do not need to fix what isn’t broken. You do not have to try to make a good product better, by making it smell like cherries.

Cherry flavored armpits? I mean, REALLY?

I’m an (almost) 40 year old woman. I don’t want fruit or tea flavored armpits.

Whatever happened to just plain old powder? If you really must give us a smell, I liked that ‘Fresh Rain’ one. That was nice. Or was it shower fresh? Whatever it was fresh and it didn’t sound like I had Libby, Libby, Libby on my label, label, label.

It’d be really great if you would take this letter into consideration when you put out your next deodorant flavor. Women don’t want to smell like fruit cocktails.

Do. Not. Want.

website, spiders and stephen colbert

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WEBSITE UPDATE: We were experiencing some technical difficulties from my contact page, but it is working again now. If you have sent me an email through the contact page, please resend. I didn’t get it. Thanks!

Just in case I wasn’t clear enough yesterday, I hate spiders.

It doesn’t matter what the actual ‘species’ is…it will fall into three categories:

Tarantula
Black Widow
Brown Recluse

Fishdog was so tickled by me yesterday, that he spent half of the night looking up different spiders and asking me what type it was. It was always one of the above three.


Thanks for the outpouring of support. I am calm and collected now. However, I will not be checking the mail anytime soon. *shudder*

Last night…this made me feel so much better. I heart The Colbert Report

the worst thing ever to happen to me today

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Okay look. I hate spiders. I do. They freak me the fuck out. Give me a snake any day over a creepy crawly hairy freaky big little spider.

Which brings me to the most horrible thing ever to happen to me. Well, most horrible thing ever to happen to me today.

I had gone grocery shopping. I was a good momma. I did my duty and even used my recycled shopping bags. I get home and Fishdog comes out to help me unload the groceries. Nice guy, right?

Don’t let those manners fool you. My husband is anything but nice. He is, in fact, responsible for the most horrible thing ever to happen to me today.

We had taken our first load of bags in. I stepped over to the mailbox. I open the mailbox and put my hand inside. No mail. I close the mailbox. Fishdog is standing next to me. He says, “Already got it and hey watch out for the spider that’s living in there.”

I didn’t hear him correctly. Right? Cuz that would mean he had let me stick my hand inside the mailbox inhabited by a living arachnid. So I glance over at the mailbox and this is what I saw:

not actual spider. In reality not actual size either. But whatever.

This big fucking nasty hairy leg creeped its way out of the mailbox. I went into shock. I started screaming like a big old baby. I ran into the house and called Fishdog some names that I know would make a marine blush.

IT WAS IN THERE WITH MY HAND. It touched me. I know it did.

As a matter of fact, it’s still on me. I can feel it.

I had a Ricky Bobby moment. I stripped down to my underwear and yelled, “Sarah Palin work your moose-huntin’ magic and shoot that hairy beast! If you do, I swear I’ll vote for you.”

How could my husband, the man who supposedly loves me, let me stick my hand in a veritable nest of tarantulas? Why didn’t he kill the spider before I ever knew it was there? I may never be able to check the mail again.

So then I demanded asked Fishdog, kill that fucking thing before I die a little more inside Would you kindly do away with that venomous and deadly creature?

Instead of killing it, he set it free.

Folks, this is not the PETA headquarters. We kill spiders here. I don’t care if they eat mosquitoes or lay golden eggs. If you’re a spider, you get killed in my house. That’s the understood rule. Or at least it has always been…until now.

He let the fucker go in the front yard. And I know it’s working its way back to the mailbox because it laid 1 million-billion-katrillion baby spider eggs in there and it wants to be present when they are born and begin their take over of Chez Francis.

*shudder*

And that folks, is the most horrible thing ever to happen to me. Today.

on the road again

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I’ve been traveling a lot lately. First, Sockmonkey and I went to Florida for 10 days. Which was Teh Awesome. We were home 1 week before I had to drive to Oxford for a few house showings.

The showings were positive, but no offer.

Last week, we had more calls, so I went to Oxford again. Another positive showing but no offer.

This week, we took the plunge, marked the house down to FIRE SALE price and now I’ll be going back to Oxford on Friday…for what I hope will be the final weekend as Oxford homeowners.

So I’ve noticed a very scary trend while traveling lately. The route I drive from Little Rock to Oxford is trucker heavy. And I drive a little bitty Honda Civic hatchback. I feel like a mouse among elephants when I’m on the road.

Imagine how scary it is when I pass an 18-wheeler only to see that the driver is talking on a cell phone. Not using a bluetooth earpiece. Nope. On the cell phone.

I started counting on my drive home Monday. I counted 23 truckers talking on their phone. 23! Can someone tell me what is wrong with that picture? Yeah. Scary stuff.

Dear Truckers, get a bluethooth earpiece or get off the damn road. kthxbai.

For today’s election post:

Have you checked your facts today? (links for information on both campaigns, not just the for the candidate I’m voting for)

  1. Palin’s Energy Claims
  2. Obama campaign belittling Palin
  3. Misleading information re: McCain’s School Funding record
  4. Twisting FactCheck.org’s findings

And for a completely biased opinion…please check out my friend, Gabrielle’s blog and my rant comment. Yes, I was feeling super passionate this morning. And yeah, there’s no question which side of the red/blue line I’m standing in this election.

housekeeping…

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Yesterday was busy. I finished a proposal, finished some edits and finished chapter one of Love Sux! the follow-up story to Bite Me! By the time evening rolled around, my mind was knackered.

Today’s blog is some basic housekeeping. Mainly because my house is in major need of keeping and that’s what I plan to do.

  1. The comment issue has been fixed on my blog. Now you can go to the ‘permalink’ or directly from the RSS feed and comment. Big thanks to Chrissy and Fishdog for their work on fixing that mess.
  2. Kitteh (aka, Kristen Painter) has interviewed fashion model and author Carol Alt today over at Fictionistas. Get thee over there and read it. Then comment. There’s a book to be won here!
  3. Have you checked your facts today? Both campaigns stretch and distort the truth and sometimes they flat out lie. But FactCheck.org tells you what’s true. Which lies can you live with? Which truths are closer to your heart?
  4. I have been totally in a Staind mode this past weekend. Like to the point that I’ve memorized all of their songs on their Chapter V album. (Which is seriously the best album ever. Their song PLEASE gets to me in a big way.) Plus at least two of their songs are included on my playlist for three different stories. I heart Staind. I plan to buy their new album today. Illusion of Progress…
  5. Now that I think about it, every one of the books I’ve written has had a scene in it that was inspired by a Staind lyric. Maybe I should write them a letter.

Okay, that about sums up my housekeeping for the day. Perfect timing…since I’ve got to run the kids to school.

BTW: My kid is doing a fundraiser with Ugly Mug Coffee which you guys know I’ve touted and tweeted on several occasions. If you’re interested in helping us out and trying a great coffee, email me!

For your enjoyment, another song of the Chapter V album that I love. Couldn’t find a video for Please…

Find more videos like this on STAIND

do not adjust your settings.

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It is indeed Saturday. And yes, I am blogging.

I’ll take a sip of my coffee while I let you recover.

Better now? Good.

So, I’m in Oxford (MS not UK) showing the house. I mowed the yard yesterday. Much easier than last week. It was totally a jungle. Today, I’m weed-eating. I am YardGirl, hear me roar. I think I need a cape–a green one, of course.

Since the house is vacant except for a futon mattress and some barstools, I’ve had to be creative. (The following pictures are from my cell phone, sorry for the quality)

I sleep here:

I work here:

I enjoy my beer here:

and I watch my movies or read here:

Oh, and my internet? Courtesy of my neighbor. The only place I can access it? Here:

This is minimalist living at its finest.

Okay, YardGirl must stop procrastinating and get outside to weed-eat. What? you thought I was blogging on a Saturday for no reason? hah!