what makes a great weekend…

Posted on by
Reply

Me and the #1 child (in birth order not preference) hanging all weekend, watching movies, football, and then going to see a friend play an acoustic show at a local dive where we also ate the best burger known to man. It’s true. Best. Burger. Ever.

Movies we watched:
The Day the Earth Stood Still: I’m a Keanu fan but I didn’t really think I would like this movie. I was pleasantly surprised.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: It is so good to know that my 15 year old son truly appreciates the Griswalds as much as his momma does. We laughed so hard and spent the day quoting the movie.

Sixteen Candles: We love us some Farmer Ted. And Long Duck Dong. AUTOMOBIIIIIILE?

Obsessed: I love me some crazy bitches.

The Ugly Truth: There was a lot of funny to this movie and we laughed out loud quite often…BUT…can I just say the ending scene was the biggest, most ridiculous joke on the face of this earth? Seriously. Not even necessary. It irritated me so much that it almost ruined the rest of the movie for me. Good thing I have a very active imagination and had no problem rewriting the ending in my head…which was much more satisfying. And funny.

#1 child (in birth order not preference) and I also decorated. He put the tree together and helped me string lights outside. He also cleaned his bathroom for me like a good boy. And he did his homework. Maybe this week he can be my #1 child in preference, too.

I also baked some peppermint mocha brownies, hoping they would light up some holiday spirit in my cold, black heart. They were so tasty and smelled so good, I did feel a momentary flicker…

Oh, and the Florida Gators lost. Which means Karma has a sense of humor.

Did you have fun this weekend? Do tell…

in denial

Posted on by
Reply

I refuse to believe it’s December.

I refuse to believe it’s almost Christmas.

It’s kinda like if I don’t open the bill, I don’t have to pay it, right?

And while I’m at it, I’m not ready for Christmas music either. Don’t that make me Bah-Humbug you. Cuz I totally will.

Okay, are y’all in the Christmas spirit? Am I alone in Scroogeville?

john cusack marathon

Posted on by
Reply

So this feeling lousy thing comes with benefits. I found a movie channel yesterday that was running non-stop John Cusack movies.

Le Sigh.

My heart; she was happy.

Would you believe I never saw Say Anything until last night? Yup. It’s true. I always knew the line “I gave her my heart; she gave me a pen.” was from that movie, but I never got it. And then I saw it last night and totally got it.

I also watched One Crazy Summer w/ Cusack and Demi Moore. It was always a fave of mine, but it doesn’t even remotely hold a candle to my very favorite Cusack movie of all time.

Better Off Dead

I never get tired of spouting “I want my $2.” just to see who gets it.

I’m feeling a little better today, still kinda weak and stuffy. Would like to stay in bed with John Cusack for another day, but it’s not gonna happen. I have to earn my $2.

this is me on drugs

Posted on by
Reply

Yeah, the weather has done a number on me and I finally caught my winter cold. It was in the 70s here over the weekend. I was wearing shorts for crying out loud! Yesterday it was a little cold, but today? It’s freezing and raining with a chance of sleet later tonight. Seriously.

Welcome to Arkansas. If you don’t like the weather, just stick around for a few minutes, cuz it will change.

This is one of many reasons I want to move to the beach.

I slept off and on yesterday and all night last night thinking the rest might help hurry the bug along, but no dice. I felt just as bad this morning. I went to work with the intention of working a couple extra hours to make up for T-giving but nope…I came home at normal time because I couldn’t hold my head up any longer. Hate it when that happens.

Hope y’all don’t catch my virus through the internetz…but just in case, may I suggest you start taking some Zicam?

Peace, y’all.

oops

Posted on by
Reply

What happened to this daily blogging thing? I guess I thought since I blogged Saturday (which I rarely do) that I didn’t have to blog Monday.

Anyway, it’s been a busy few days filled with friends, writing, football…lots of football, food, lounging in bed, and other stuff.

Oh, have you heard the new Michael Bublé CD? Is verra nice.

How was your extended holiday weekend? Hope y’all are as content as I am.

BITE ME! on 20/20

Posted on by
Reply


I almost watched 20/20 last night because they were featuring ‘Real-Life Vampires’ and then thought…”Seriously, what are the odds they’ll feature my book cover for this story?” Apparently I should also buy a lottery ticket because the odds were 100%!! You’ll have to sit through a commercial once the video loads but at -6:34 on the timer, you’ll see my beautiful cover with my name front and center!

Inside the World of Real-Life Vampires

worst gift idea ever. and I mean EVER.

Posted on by
Reply

I saw a Public Service Announcement last night that left me staring at the TV with my mouth gaping open in disbelief.

A cute dude (I recognized him but I think the shock of the commercial has stunned me into forgetting his identity) stares into the camera and says:

“Fellas, wanna get your lady something special this holiday season? Schedule her a pap smear.”

WTF?

Okay, just in case you fellas reading this blog are not clear on this subject…scheduling your lady a pap smear as a special gift is a VERY BAD IDEA.

correction.

IT’S THE WORST EFFING IDEA ON EARTH. PERIOD. THE END.

If you don’t believe me, go ahead and schedule your lady a pap smear and see what happens.

Please be sure and report back when you do.

Hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving. Eat lots! Watch tons of football! Go to the movies! And enjoy your family and friends. I plan to.

I’m judging you

Posted on by
Reply

Okay, I’m not generally a judgy-mcjudgington. I don’t care who you’re sleeping with, where you buy your clothes, if you leave dishes in your sink or have enough dog hair on your floor to weave a rug. It doesn’t matter to me if you believe in/worship God, Dog, Karma, The Universe, Buddah, Brangelina, The Kardashians, or Jim Jones. I almost don’t care what your politics are (I am slightly judging you here. I’m working on that.)

However, if you do any of the things listed below…I’m totally judging you. Because this is when your choices are infringing on me in one respect or another. And let’s face it, this is my blog, so it’s all about me.

Unless you’re physically injured or handicapped, you better not be taking the elevator just one floor. I mean it. Do you know how ridiculous it is for me to travel from floor 12–thinking I’m going to make it all the way to floor 1–only to be stopped on floor 2 because some Mr. Lazy-pants didn’t feel like taking the stairs? Yeah, I’m rolling my eyes at you when you step on the elevator because I’m judging you. If you don’t like it, take the stairs.

When you refuse to put the shopping cart in the cart corral, I’m judging you. And possibly I’m confronting your uber lazy ass as well. Yes, I’m the cart Nazi. Just walk the 3 spaces over and replace the cart. C’mon. You know you can do it. Rain is rarely an excuse. There’s always an exception but my guess is, if you’re reading this blog, the exception doesn’t apply to you.

If your hair has it’s own zip code? Yes, I’m judging you. This goes for all you Bump-It wearers. If I feel the desire to mail your hair a letter, there is a problem. I had big hair once–between the years of 1988 & 1992. If I see your bangs and suddenly start singing a Poison song, you need a new stylist.

If your jeans come to or over your belly button, and/or taper at the ankle, you bet your sweet Chic-jeans I’m judging you. Mom called, she wants her jeans back. And while you’re at it, return those white Keds to her, too. Thanks.

If you’re reading this and can see yourself in any of these examples, well, you know what to do…