Tag Archives: sick

friend and foe.

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Mimosas. This mimosa is my friend.

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This mimosa?

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Taken at UALR

Not. So. Much.

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Coleman Creek, UALR

I forget that I have Mimosa Tree allergy. I love them. They’re beautiful and fragrant…and they make my eyes cry all the cries!

Years ago, when we bought our first house in Little Rock, our yard was filled with mimosa trees. And they were lovely. And I couldn’t see for almost 6 weeks. We thought I had developed an allergy to my contacts, so I stopped wearing them. My eyes were so light sensitive I actually had to wear those grandpa sunglasses that cover their glasses, even inside.

sexy.

sexy.

Yes. These. Except mine were a hideous dark green.

My eyes are so sensitive this week, I’m thinking about bringing sexy back with those bad boys.

And it’s my own freaking fault. I was checking out the sneaky snakes in Coleman Creek yesterday, enjoying the ambiance…inhaling the wonderful scent of the…OH SHIT. Mimosa tree that I was standing inches away from. Stupid Melf. You done lost your damn mind.

Oh well. It’ll clear up in a few days and if it doesn’t, I guess I’ll be getting me some prescription eye drops. Conjunctivitis is sexy. It makes my makeup run all down my face, like I was jilted on Prom Night.

Good thing I’m a natural beauty. haha

This weekend is Father’s Day and we’re having a cookout on Sunday.  El Jefe is Papa Bear and he’s fantastic with the boys, but they will be with their dad this Sunday. However, Stacey Jay and her fam will be hanging out with us! Because I cannot get enough of her. EVER. So we’ll be celebrating Big Daddy Mike Day. It’ll be awesome.

And I know there will be much laughter. Because that’s how we do at The Compound.

 

 

 

Ruby Tuesday!

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Welcome to Tuesday! Where I will, from now on, feature a new pitiful picture of my pug RUBY.

WHY SO SAD RUBY? Oh never mind, you just caught up on the Red Wedding, didn't you?

WHY SO SAD RUBY? Oh never mind, you just caught up on the Red Wedding, didn’t you?

Oh, Ruby. It’s so hard being you.

Sunday morning, I finally tried to pull myself out of bed and was all “It’s time to get out of bed, Ruby.” And this was her response:

pitifully shuffle on her belly to my leg, and “flump” her head down with a giant sigh, in the crook of my knee while staring at me with such a wretched stare, that I had to lie back to overcome the sadness.

the sadness--it overtakes you.

the sadness–it overtakes you.

I read this article today about a large-breasted teen who was denied entry to her prom because her boobs were too big. She was told to wear a wrap around her shoulders or she wouldn’t be allowed entrance.

I feel your pain, sister. Your back pain, that is...

I feel your pain, sister. Your back pain, that is…

Her parents are asking for a public apology because they don’t feel the “no cleavage” rule was actually being fairly enforced. As her mother said “All women are not created equal, and you can not compare a golf ball to a grapefruit. It ain’t gonna happen.”

Damn right.

That dress is very age appropriate and lovely. Shame on that school for shaming her for what she comes by naturally.

This stupid head cold of mine is trying to kick my ass. And now, I’ve spread my germs to Jefe. We are THE HOUSE OF THE INFECTED. Enter at your own risk.

My mom called from Down Under yesterday. She’s having a great time! They were just at The Ayers Rock and were heading to Queensland. She’s going to New Zealand soon. All-in-all she will be Down Under for almost a month! I’m so happy that she’s fulfilling her dream! Let’s hope that when I’m 74, I’ll be able to rock life like she does. IF THIS STUPID COLD LET’S ME LIVE THAT LONG.

 

get ’em, blue!

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I hope everyone in Boston and surrounding areas remain safe and secure while the city is on lockdown. I hope they catch all assholes involved. I’m so proud they found them so quickly. Stay safe, and Kick Ass boys (and girls) in blue!

In fun news, OMG did I laugh my ass off last night. Well, not literally. Sadly. Because I am still carrying my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps around with me today. Every inch. Because TTB was running late and she left me alone with the cheese dip UNSUPERVISED. Thank goodness ALL-CAPS KRISTAL showed up on time for once!

I haven’t laughed that hard in forever. I actually feel like I had an ab work out. Laughter, it’s what’s for dinner. (well, that and Cheese Dip.)

In Alien News, Susie is shrinking. I no longer look like I was dating Chris Brown. Jefe is no longer under suspicion for elbowing me in my sleep. It seems the antibiotic is doing its job…so yippee!  (Sorry Susie, we hardly knew ya)

To honor the officers putting their life on the line for America today, I’m wearing my booTAY pants, a cleavage shirt, some sparkly shoes and my inner sparkle is turned up to 11 today.

Also, Happy Birthday to Dobby! I’ll see you tonight!

let me catch you up on very important things

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1.  I haven’t felt well off and on for a month of so. Tired. Neck pain. Headaches. I blamed the pollen and I just picked myself up by the bootstraps and marched on.

Until this week when I was taken down by dizziness and stiff neck and headaches…powerful, yucky, no fun, headaches. And there was a knot on my face by my ear. And the right side of my face was swollen.

Guess who has an ear infection? This girl.

And it looks like it’s been going on a while. So I’m on loads of antibiotics for 10 days. Yippee.

 2.  Speaking of antibiotics…Walgreens is this [] close to losing my business. I waited in line for 25 minutes just to drop off the prescription… and only 1 person moved in the line. So I came back an hour later. The drive through was stacked 3 cars deep on each side. I went in…and waited 10 minutes just to drop it off…they said they would text me…it should be 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, at 8:59 pm, I got the text that my prescription was ready. The pharmacy closes at 9:00…so who didn’t get to start her medicine this morning? This girl.

Not cool, Walgreens. And this is not the first time this has happened. Jefe waited for an hour for his prescription that was only going to take a ‘few minutes.’ (hint: 60 minutes is way more than a few minutes.)

3.  In the world of AWESOME news…BITE ME! and LOVE SUCKS! will be featured in the Scholastic e-book club starting in August! Yay! This is huge news and could be a big boost for the books. So gang, tell your friends to buy my books when they get their book club order forms!

4.  My father-in-law, Poppy, is back in the hospital due to complications from his recent gall-bladder surgery. Any love, prayers or healing thoughts you can send his way will be much appreciated.

I’m meeting some friends from high school tonight. Even though I have an alien baby growing inside my face, I’m gonna tough it out for a margarita. I’m hoping the antibiotic will kick in and immediately start shrinking Susie (the knot, er, I mean, the alien baby). Also, I think the margarita will help me feel less dizzy.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

good grief!

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Just when I thought I was feeling better, Lucy would pull the football out from under me again.

Damn you, Lucy!

But, after a weekend of only working 3.5 hours each day and sleeping damn near the rest of the time…I can finally say, I feel better.

Sparkly, even!

Thank goodness. Because last week was the most unfun I’ve had in a long time and I hope we do not have a repeat anytime soon…

January…what a bleh month. We’re getting some freezing rain today, possibly some snow. Probably not gonna be anything like what we had over the holidays, but still…I don’t like being at work when the stuff starts falling. Let’s hope it just blows on through.

It was 75 degrees on Saturday…and it’s 25 degrees right now. Arkansas! There is nothing predictable about our weather!

Oaklawn opened Friday…and for the first time in forever, I wasn’t there. So sad. The girls will be planning a day soon, and I can’t wait. I do love my days at the races with my crew.

Speaking of my crew…damn I miss everyone. What a weird past couple of months I’ve had. I’m working on weekends now, so I’m exhausted by the time I finish with work and can’t make it to the PartyHood. I haven’t made it to Girl’s Night Out since early November, and that feels weird. Jefe and I haven’t been able to go out in forever either…I’m kind of ready to get back to the social aspect of my life…when I can fit it in, that is.

Rader’s birthday is at the end of this month, and he sent his father an I an email with his wishlist. His note said :

I included price, html, and name of item(s). You’re Welcome. Fishdog and I were joking this morning that this was the equivalent to our days of marking pages and items in the Sears Catalog. (which is how I got my awesome Barbie Country Camper, back in the day.)

Hope everyone had a great weekend and that your week is starting off with a sparkle!

I’ve got chills…that are multiplyin’

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And I’m looooooosing control….

Oh. Sorry. I just got caught up in a Grease moment there.

So, I’ve been down for the count the last 48 hours. Actually a bit longer than that. I knew something wasn’t right when I made this fantastic Mediterranean Pasta on Tuesday night and only ate 2 bites before I felt “full.” I had 2 glasses of wine, but they kinda tasted funny, so I poured out half of my last glass and then I fell asleep on the couch…before 8:00. 

The next morning I woke and told Jefe I felt funny–like my dinner didn’t digest.

And low and behold, it had not digested.

I’ll spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say, there was a virus, I had it, and I spent 36 hours trying to get warm. My fever finally broke in the wee hours of the morning yesterday and I slept most of 48 hours away.

My mommy brought me some real cokes. You know, the fully-leaded-with-sugar kind? The ones I never drink ever? OMG. They were like little sips of heaven. Or gulps of heaven. Whatever. I had to be careful though…if I drank them too fast, there would be horrific repercussions. Terrible.

I’m back at work today, feeling weak, but happy to be vertical. I miss my kiddos. I banished them from the house while I was contagious. There’s no need to spread the ugly any further than our home. I have a feeling when I get finished with work on Saturday, I’ll be cloroxing the hell out of the compound.

Anything fun going on in your world? Did you guys get Bieber Fever in Little Rock last night? I heard the concert was fantastic, even for those poor parents who were forced to go. That’s what happened when fishdog and I took Ian to see N Sync in 2001. We were dreading the boy band invasion and wound up being completely impressed with the show. Maybe we were even fans afterward…Maybe. I’m glad the concert was a great experience for y’all. If you have to suffer through the squealing of thousands of teenage girls, at least you should enjoy show.

Have a great weekend, folks. Strive for sparkle!

a summary of my activities

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I’ve been busy so I’ll just sum up what I’ve been doing with bullet points.

  • Came down with the crud (which I typed as “curd” at first and then spent 10 minutes trying to figure out what the symptoms of having the curd would actually be.)
  • Had a biopsy
  • Took awesome pain meds for the biopsy
  • Enjoyed the hell out of my medication
  • Had weird freaking pain med dreams, one of which included a shoot out between Mannequins. Yes. Mannequins. In a parking deck.
  • Have been spoiling the animals rotten while Jefe has been visiting his family. 
  • Eating a lot of cheese. Mmmm. Cheese.
  • Drinking wine. Possibly I drank some wine while on pain meds before I went to the doctor. Possibly.
  • Cleaned out the laundry room/storage area and put away some boxes that have been cluttering up the living room. 
  • Put up the Pimp Tree in the living room, to replace the boxes because that space seemed too bare.
  • Watched LOVE ACTUALLY twice. I’m such a dork for that movie.
  • Saved LOVE ACTUALLY to the DVR so I can watch it as much as I want this holiday season.

I think that’s about all the highlights. I feel great today…Well, I don’t wanna choke a bitch or stab anyone in the eye, so I’m thinking that means I’m on the mend. Y’all have a great humpday, or wine Wednesday or downhill slide to the weekend or whatever.

Oh…and to the creeper who inboxed my author page asking for a signed photo of me… thank you for noticing my lovely neck and shoulders but EW. No. Me. Gusta. Creepy McCreepypants. Go troll someone else, mmmkay?

Love and all that,
Melf

things i’ve learned being at home all week

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  • Kathie Lee and Hoda make my brain hurt. DO.NOT.WANT.
  • Ditto for Rachael Ray.
  • I can totally make organic everything, yummy food, plan an imaginary wedding, decorate my imaginary house, and go on a fantasy vacation thanks to a couple of hours spent staring at Pinterest.
  • I despise everything Mitt Romney stands for and it’s going to be hard to keep my mouth shut. And I probably won’t but I’ll try to only use my Tumblr account to spout off about his moronic, hypocritical politics. The ONLY good thing about this election year is that Sarah Palin isn’t involved. Speaking of morons…/political ranting
  • I love talking to El Jefe about everything from plotting my stories to spending our lottery winnings. 
  • I wish I could go to work in my pajamas.
  • I used to find Daniel Tosh funny but after his recent “jokes” about rape, I’ve changed my mind. Rape isn’t funny, kid. Grow up.
  • Viacom needs to suck it up and give DirecTV customers access to Comedy Central again. This pissing contest is for the birds.  
  • Nancy Grace is a bitch. She has no compassion.
  • Melinda Gates is awesome.
  • Aaron Sorkin has done it again. The Newsroom is one of the best shows on TV right now.
  • I miss my kids even though I’ve been sickly all week. I even miss Rader’s non-stop talking. 

un-in-spired

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I’m just not feeling it today. Still kinda Meh. I think I’ve figured out what’s wrong with me, and trust me, it’s no fun.

So instead of whining and carrying on like a little bitch, I thought I would link you to some fun posts from the past.

Am I Part Leprechaun?   May 8, 2009

Flamingos, Sock Monkeys, Four-Leaf Clovers OH MY! April 15, 2010

Monkey See, Monkey Play June 9, 2011

things and stuffs and things  June 14, 2011

Month of Mel 2012: Day 13 March 13, 2012

Go forth…read some of my past thoughts. See what makes Melf smile and then somebody do something to make me smile today, because the god of your choice knows I could use it.

/whining like a little bitch.