Tag Archives: celebrity sightings

puffy eyes, dokken shirt, fans and pictures

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I’m better today. I think I have an eye infection. (see, I kinda sorta try to stretch out my contacts longer than I should cuz when money is tight, that’s not really where I wanna spend my cash…) Problem is, now I have to spend the same amount going to the doc and getting some antibiotic. Stupid, dumb writer chick. You just can’t teach common sense, ya know?

So this week I’ve been walking around with a puffy right eye. I kinda look like I’ve been punched; especially first thing in the morning. The eye runs constantly and so I also have a runny nose. Claritin D helps with the swelling and the runniness, but not completely. Yeah, I’m a big fat swollen hot mess.

Last night was trivia night (4th place again! Still #2 overall!) and I brought a couple of books to give away. One to a 14 year old daughter of a competing team memeber(BTW she was GORGEOUS! and now I’ve decided that she and my 16 year old need to be IN LURVE by the end of the summer. Cupid? Do you hear me?) MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU is our #1 nemesis…but they are a lot of fun so we cut them some slack. Especially since they got beat by FARTSMELLERS last night. LOL (FARTSMELLERS are pretty cool too, and my youngest sone thinks they have the best name ever so maybe he should defect to their team. TRAITOR!) So anyway, when I met John last week, he said his daughter was a huge reader and he called her and she immediately looked me up on the internet and said she wanted to read my book so I promised her a copy. (longest run on sentence ever?)Jaqueline came to trivia night last night, I brought her a book and signed it, we hugged, we bonded…and she wanted a picture of me.

Okay, remember the puffy eye? Um yeah. Me, no make-up, a big ol’ puffy eye…AND MY DOKKEN CONCERT SHIRT FROM THEH EARLY 90s. But I sucked it up and now she has a collectors item. Because seriously, that is one ugly ass picture of me. (Jaqueline, please come back next week. I promise to look presentable and we can take tons more pics if you want!) I was happy to take a picture with her even though I looked like I had been rejected by the Grim Reaper.

John was so appreciative that I brought his daughter a book, but honestly I am happy to do it. I always feel like giving 1 book to a new reader is a great way to spread the word. All I ask of the person I give the book to is that if you like it, please tell your friends to buy a copy and to write me a review somewhere. Tit for tat and all that. 🙂

I also brought a copy to our Trivia Jockey (TJ instead of DJ) Brent. He’s a great guy and entertains the hell out of me and he always plays my favorite songs…so he deserved a copy. And I gave a copy to a friend of my brother. 3 copies total. I guess all in all, despite my stay-puf face, I had a great time last night.

BTW: 2 months from tomorrow…LOVE SUCKS! will hit the shelves!!!

are you near Fulton, MO today?

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My friend Jon Pendergrass is having his first book signing today during Alumni Weekend at Westminster College in Fulton, Missouri. Stop by & buy a copy of his book Pepper Jack then have him sign that puppy for you.

Alumni Book Signing 11am-1pm
Mueller Leadership HallFeaturing alumni authors: Giles Fowler ’55,
Gary Forrest ’65, Dr. Carlton Caldwell ’80, John Landrum ’80, Jim Muench
’86, Jon Pendergrass ’91 and Matt Murrie ’98

Happy Saturday, y’all!!!!

it’s all a blur

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Before I tell you about my weekend, let me do this:

Dear Cold Front,

Go away. Now.

Not-so-much-love,
Melf

Where do I start? How about with Friday…

Friday morning I spoke to a group of students in a Workplace Readiness class at Benton High School. They were a great (but very quiet…save 1 student named Pierce who was my total favorite because he asked questions like “Do you like potato salad?”) My friend Brenda is the teacher and when I left I was pretty certain I had bored them all to tears. Brenda assured me later that day that the students loved me and voted me best speaker of the year. I guess rambling on about how I don’t like potato salad because potatoes weren’t meant to be served cold worked!

Friday night we had Relay for Life in Bryant. HUGE success and loads of fun. Pictures…let me show you them:

(these are from my phone. I haven’t downloaded my camera pics yet.)

We went with an 80s theme…and boy was it weird seeing myself and my son rocking out the bad fashion:

Meet RUN DM JFerg:

and Ian DMC:

Then there was a DUDE Looks like a Lady contest where our very own Madea Ralph Nelson took top prize:

and Kristal’s boy Hunter is now known as Huntress:

SATURDAY:
5 hours of sleep.

Soccer.

also found my 29th 4-leaf clover

SUNDAY:

Okay, so let me tell you a little story…it goes something like this:

Sunday morning I wake up, have my coffee on my back porch and just relax as I think about all the things I’m going to accomplish for the day. I call JChris and we chit-chat for a while…okay, about an hour. And then something she says triggers something in my head and I yelled: “Oh Shit, Jenn! What day is it? Is today Sunday?”

Jenn: Yeah. It’s Sunday.
Mel: Shit! I have to be in Hot Springs to speak in 2 hours! I gotta go!

Yes, after the busy weekend and the lack of sleep, I completely forgot about my scheduled speaking engagement and booksigning at the AAIM conference!!!

Luckily, I’m quick with a shower and make up brush. I arrived 45 minutes early and had a great time. (BTW, if you’re a writer, make friends with your librarian. They will get your book out there.)

My signing was successful and I made several contacts for school visits. (which I love!)

On the agenda this week? Sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.

How was your weekend?

dopplegang this

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So last week’s Facebook game was ‘Doppleganger’ week. Everyone was posting new profile pictures of celebrities they’ve been told they look like.

Um. The only celebrity I’ve ever been told I resemble is Queen Latifiah. And as much as I adore her…both of us being strong women of larger stature does not automatically mean we look alike. Now we might carry ourselves in the same way–but looks? Nope.

I really don’t have a celebrity doppleganger (and me wanting to be Stifler’s mom does not count). So I asked around and I got a few different answers, so I’ll let you decide. Do I resemble any of these folks below or someone else entirely?

Janeane Garofalo: I like Janeane and am not opposed to her being my doppleganger, but I think it’s more attitude than looks that people see.

Toni Collette: I am amenable to this comparison.

And my favorite….Jessica Rabbit: (I wish)

So what do you think? Any of these work? Who do you think is my doppleganger?

i want bacon and other stuff

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It’s true. I want bacon. Now. Maybe I’ll stop by the store on the way home this afternoon and fry me up a mess.

I had a great time yesterday in Arkadelphia. I heart librarians everywhere. They are the warmest and most supportive group on earth. Thanks for making me feel welcome. I hope you all enjoyed our discussion. Next time, I promise to dance and sing a little. Maybe I’ll do a number from Hairspray…

Did I mention I want bacon? Which makes me want to see Bacon Boy again. I love this kid.

C’mon over, Bacon Boy. We’ll fry up a skillet full of heart attack together.

Have a great weekend y’all. Love ya. Mean it.

gunter glieben glauchen globen

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I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!
IT’S BETTER TO BURN OUT
THAN TO FADE AWAY!

Not really sure why I woke up singing Def Leppard’s ROCK OF AGES, but there ya go. I did. And now I’ve shared it with you. Enjoy today’s ear worm. You’re welcome.

I’m headed to Arkadelphia, AR today to speak to 75 school media specialists/librarians today. Yeah, I’m gonna have something to say, all right. Just not quite sure what that is yet. 🙂 Hope they like gibbering idiots.

I’ll make sure to be really cute and sparkly and hope to distract them away from the actual content of my presentation.

In other news, my brother posted a pic of us as kids on Facebook. He’s adorable in this picture. I have a bad hair cut, bad teeth, and a really ugly dress on. I think all pictures taken in the 1970s should just automatically self-destruct.

But since they don’t and since it’s already on Facebook, I’ll share it with you guys, too. This is one of my many ugly duckling pictures. I had potential…but it was buried way down deep.

Thank the goddess of hair for real hair styles nowadays…and the dentistry gods for braces. It’s really unfair how damn cute my brother is here. I’m still bitter about it.

words. I haz them.

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funny pictures of cats with captions

Me and my friend, Kitteh (aka Kristen Painter) apparently had the same idea this week. We’re both posting Catmus Pictures…and so far, we’ve managed not to copy each other! Pop over and see what LOLZ she’s been posting.

So, last night was my signing and visit at the Bryant Library. I grew up in Bryant, and even though the town of Twelve BILLION Thousand no longer resembles the town of 2800 that I knew, it is still one of the warmest places on earth.

I felt honored and humbled by the show of support. It was amazing.
cat

The room was standing room only. (okay, it was a smallish room, but still SRO sounds so AWESOME, right?) and we sold out of books (YAY!) and then people sat down to hear me talk.

Me. Talk.

As if that’s ever a problem.

Well, it is a bit different to talk in front of a group. Thankfully I knew most of them, so that helped. And so I rambled on about why I started writing (I was bored), why I continued writing after we moved to Oxford (I was really bored), how I found an agent (luck!), how I decided to write about a teenage vampire (more luck!) and how I got published (A BUCKET LOAD OF LUCK). So my talk went something like this:

One day I was bored and started writing. I moved to Mississippi and kept on writing. I got lucky and signed with an agent who totally gets me and a few years later I got even luckier and sold a book. The End.

Don’t you wish you had been there to hear all that in person?

I had a fabulous time and hope they’ll invite me back again someday! I’ll have pics for you soon, just didn’t get them downloaded last night.

I’d like to give a big shout out to awesome librarian Jill Martin who made these signings happen. And a huge, huge thank you to all my friends who showed up on a rainy Tuesday evening to shower me with love.

Y’all are all smothered in awesome-sauce!

Say What?

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My signing and talk went well last night. It was a small crowd but they were very attentive. Especially my new biggest fan…a 13 year old boy who decided I should be a comedian. Yeah, maybe. Except for the whole being-funny-all-the-time-in-front-of-lots-of-people-who might-not-find-me-funny-at-all thing. And I got to see two old pals from a long time ago…My high school prom date’s Dad stopped by. And good ol’ TTB brought her 9 year old son by…Parker, my youngest and most awesome fan.

Tonight’s signing at the Bryant Library should be a bit larger. I’m excited about it. I’ll get to make a fool of myself in front of old friends, and really, nothing is better than that! Hopefully I’ll find my camera today so I’ll be able to post pics tomorrow!

Now on a more frustrating note: if you post negative anonymous comments on my blog, you will be deleted. If you continue to post them multiple times, your IP address will be blocked. It’s okay if you don’t like me or what I write (hopefully you’ve actually READ the book if you’re going to hate on it…) and it’s okay for you to tell me that. It’s not okay for you to be hateful about it. You may not think I’m the most positive of influences on impressionable young minds…but IMO, anonymously posting hateful messages is pretty negative behavior as well. DOes that make us even?

Whew. I feel better now.
funny pictures of cats with captions

proof I did not get D-hall yesterday

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Bryant High School wasn’t a small school when I graduated 20+ a few years ago. I mean, my class had 300 people in it, so you can’t call it ‘small.’ BUT compared to the Bryant of today, it’s damn near microscopic.

I met with the students in the North Library, I believe. Yes, they’re so big now, they have a North and South Library (though yesterday was the final day for that building to be a library…it was being turned into a band room) The North Library used to be my Middle School library. I swear the campus is kinda like the Blob and is slowly taking over the world one patch of dirt at a time. You students better be careful or it’ll get you, too!

Walking into the building gave me major flashbacks. Nothing bad, I rather enjoyed high school overall. I mean, we all had our bad experiences, but I can’t say that high school was a terrible place. Maybe I’ll tell you some of my favorite high school stories later…the good and the bad.

Anyway…Everyone was wonderful and so welcoming. I was treated like a celebrity…and let’s face it, that’s how it should be. I mean, c’mon! I’m MEL! I signed books and took pics and had a jolly good time.

And then they wanted me to talk. I’m not really sure why because what do I have to say? But I dug deep and I found subjects (thanks to the many brilliant questions my rapt audience asked me).

My Western Civ teacher, Mr. Cole came to see me. I love that man. he was one of my favorite teachers of all time. I climbed up in my attic today to see if I could find my picture of the two of us together my senior year, but I couldn’t find it. I know I have it around here some where but I’ll have to post it later. Anyway, here I am with Mr. Cole today. Kinda wish I’d have crossed my legs for ya. Sorry ’bout that.

Not the greatest pic but I know there are better ones out there and when they get sent to me, I’ll post.


This was really an amazing experience for me and I can’t wait to do it again. Thanks so much to Marcia Schiffl and Jill Martin for putting this together and inviting me. And a big fat double thank you to the students who showed up and pretended to be interested in what I had to say. THAT was the most awesome thing EVER.

BTW, like the true person with oppositional defiant disorder, I chewed gum the entire time because I just had to stick it to the man for making that stupid rule back in the day…because I know at least 1 of my 5 weeks of D-hall my senior year was due to gum chewing. LOL

BITE ME! on 20/20

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I almost watched 20/20 last night because they were featuring ‘Real-Life Vampires’ and then thought…”Seriously, what are the odds they’ll feature my book cover for this story?” Apparently I should also buy a lottery ticket because the odds were 100%!! You’ll have to sit through a commercial once the video loads but at -6:34 on the timer, you’ll see my beautiful cover with my name front and center!

Inside the World of Real-Life Vampires