feelin’ SASSY!

I’m talking about motivation, failure and success at FCR today. Go forth and read.

I thought I was going to gnaw my arm off yesterday afternoon around 4:30. I’ve been eating a ton of protein, but I guess my activity increase has motivated my metabolism to jump into gear, (this is a good thing) and by yesterday afternoon, I could’ve chased down a wildebeest and eaten it live in 4.5 seconds.

Instead, I went home and hurriedly put together a very high protein wrap and drank some roasted dandelion tea.  And I was full for the rest of the night.

And I woke this morning, full sass and sparkle. I hope you guys are wearing your shades, because I’m shining bright!

So rapid topic change…some of you folks need to stop taking FB so damn seriously. For REALZ. First off, if you have to qualify every freakin’ post on your own page with something like “Don’t be a hater, but…” or “This is MY opinion only, don’t hate…” then probably, you’re wrapping your ‘opinion’ in a bundle of judgement. And that’s okay, it’s your page, but if you’re not comfortable with the response you are going to get, then probably you should rethink your post.  Either own your feelings or bury them on the inside. Stop getting so defensive. (Probably, you wouldn’t be so defensive if you didn’t have some passive-aggressive alternate point to your post anyway.)

Just know, if you’re always posting life drama or hating on someone or ‘qualifying’ all your ‘controversial’ opinions…I’m hiding you from my news feed. I don’t need the negativity. I’ve spent months ridding myself of it…and since I find FB to be a place to be playful and fun, your constant pettiness and vitriol is not for me. You’re welcome to continue to drown yourself in it–it’s your page after all. I just choose to smile and click “hide from news feed.”

And this…is how I choose to live. It’s amazing how great I feel now that I’ve changed my attitude. It was a lot of work (and still is) but it was totally worth it.

Happy Tuesday! I hit the gym at lunch, am walking after work, then I’m getting my lashes refilled. Tomorrow is supposed to be hella stormy, and seriously, I’m kind of excited about it. I love a good spring thunderstorm…as long as nobody is hurt.

Stay sassy and carry on, bitches!

Forward. HO!

Yes, the election is over. Yes. I’m pleased with the results…but the reality is, if things had gone the other way, I’d be all right, too. (Unless I wanted to make a very important decision about my body…)

Anyhoo… Yay that the Rape Idiots didn’t get reelected. Good Grief. Yay for women who soundly told our country that we deserve the same pay and full control over our own bodies.

The only 1950s we get to live in, is in our pin up girl fantasies! And that’s the way it ought to be. (I’ll be right back, I need to go make you a sammich.)

And yay for President Barack Obama and his family. Go forth and continue to rebuild from the mess you were handed.

I’ve been extremely disappointed in my Facebook newsfeed lately. I welcome dissenting opinions, but I do not tolerate racism, hate or rhetoric. I woke this morning to see a couple of my ‘friends’ posting “Welcome to Muslim America’  and “Well of course he got voted in, everyone loves getting freebies.”

Really? Come on. Educate yourself. Don’t spread hate and rhetoric and untruths. Damn. So this is my status today.

If you truly believe that Obama is a Socialist, a Muslim, if you’re still looking for his birth certificate, or if you’re posting racist hate and rhetoric on your page, please just unfriend me now. This is a democracy. The people have spoken and they have spoken loudly. If I survived 8 years of Dubya (barely) then I promise, you will survive 8 years of Obama. These are not the darkest days. This is not the end of the world. I have been looking for signs of the apocalypse, and I’m pretty sure we’re safe. There’s no excuse to post hate. Respect the process and let love rule.

Seriously, we’ve all made mistakes, we all don’t like something about someone. We all disagree with different government policies, but to be hateful? To spread lies and encourage racism? Just not something I want to be around and certainly not something I want kids to see. So I’ve unfriended a few folks and I posted this and asked people to unfriend me. And I’m okay with it if you do. You have the right to your beliefs, but I’d appreciate it if you’d just keep them off my newsfeed because I don’t really want to hang out with someone who won’t bother to educate themselves with facts and who hates because of race, gender, or sexuality. Now. Go forth and love someone today.

so here’s the deal…

What happened to freedom of speech?

What happened to the right to your own opinion?

What happened to freedom of choice? (hahahahahaha this one is my favorite.)

Why are we focusing on small issues like this? There are bigger things in this world to worry about.

These are the majority of the arguments I see when it comes down to the Chick-Fil-A protest. Now I can’t answer for anyone but myself, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one who shares this opinion.

(warning, I’ve been fighting a horrid cold since Sunday and right now I’m high on Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold medicine…)

I would argue that our right to protest and Dan Cathy’s opinion both fall under freedom of speech, opinion and choice. This is a free country. Period.

However, I’m not protesting Dan Cathy’s opinion or his religious beliefs. I am protesting a business lobbying and funding millions of dollars against human rights. I don’t care how you feel about homosexuality, I care that we are all human and we all have the same rights. Your religious beliefs have nothing to do with the rights of every single human in this country. NOTHING.

Chick-Fil-A  has donated millions of dollars to the hate group Family Research Council, a group that equates homosexuality with pedophilia and who would like to see sodomy and other “homosexual” acts re-criminalized.

Let me ask you this: If Chick-Fil-A had donated millions of dollars to an active Neo-Nazi/White Supremacist Group or a Anti-Women’s Rights group would you still think that chicken sandwich tasted so damn good?

To me, they are the same thing. Human rights. And it’s okay if you don’t agree with my stance but please don’t kid yourself that supporting Chick-Fil-A isn’t supporting their anti-human rights agenda, because it is. They will gladly take your money and funnel it on to a hate group.

This is about Human Rights. And withholding my $4.00 from them may not do much, but at least I know that I’m not actively supporting hate.

tomorrow, tomorrow! I’ll see Oxford, tomorrow!

IT’S ONLY A DAY AWAY!

When: Friday, September 17 (tomorrow)
Where: Square Books, Jr.
Time: 5:00
Who: ME!

Please come see me!

I had the best time with one of my pals, Stacey Jay last year. We signed books, drank wine, signed more books, drank more wine…

Wait. Anyone beginning to see a pattern here? I LOVE SIGNING BOOKS!

I can’t wait to see you guys tomorrow. It’s gonna be a big time full of sparkly goodness.

In other bits of random…

I was checking my website stats and seriously, somebody in Boulder, CO googled I HATE MELISSA FRANCIS. That’s just mean and hurtful, yo. I’m good people. Don’t be hatin’ on me!

I’ve also had some weird search terms on my website search bar. Like one day a month or so ago, someone just kept searching for KILL and HATE.

So this is what my report looked like:

08:17:30 2010 Kill
08:17:28 2010 Kill
08:17:23 2010 Kill
08:17:22 2010 Kill
08:17:16 2010 Kill
08:16:24 2010 Kill
08:15:46 2010 Kill
08:15:10 2010 Kill
08:14:31 2010 Kill
08:11:35 2010 hate
08:11:34 2010 hate
08:11:31 2010 hate
08:11:30 2010 hate
08:11:29 2010 hate

dudes. Seriously. That’s just not nice! I don’t blog about killing and hate so why are you searching for them? Also, I know people and I know things. And I know people who know things about people. So, watch it. mmmkay? This is my sandbox. Don’t throw sand at me in my own box!!! Besides, I’m all friendly, and sparkly, and fun to play with. Haters are not allowed.

And in Kitteh news. 2 are promised (Charlie Chaplin and Kitteh G) and 2 are maybes (the boys) but my kids wanna keep one of the boys, so I’m not sure what we’re gonna do about that.

I probably will be scarce tomorrow. If I think about it, I’ll pre-post a blog. But I may not think about it. We’ll see.

Have a great weekend if I don’t catch ya mañana!

Say What?

My signing and talk went well last night. It was a small crowd but they were very attentive. Especially my new biggest fan…a 13 year old boy who decided I should be a comedian. Yeah, maybe. Except for the whole being-funny-all-the-time-in-front-of-lots-of-people-who might-not-find-me-funny-at-all thing. And I got to see two old pals from a long time ago…My high school prom date’s Dad stopped by. And good ol’ TTB brought her 9 year old son by…Parker, my youngest and most awesome fan.

Tonight’s signing at the Bryant Library should be a bit larger. I’m excited about it. I’ll get to make a fool of myself in front of old friends, and really, nothing is better than that! Hopefully I’ll find my camera today so I’ll be able to post pics tomorrow!

Now on a more frustrating note: if you post negative anonymous comments on my blog, you will be deleted. If you continue to post them multiple times, your IP address will be blocked. It’s okay if you don’t like me or what I write (hopefully you’ve actually READ the book if you’re going to hate on it…) and it’s okay for you to tell me that. It’s not okay for you to be hateful about it. You may not think I’m the most positive of influences on impressionable young minds…but IMO, anonymously posting hateful messages is pretty negative behavior as well. DOes that make us even?

Whew. I feel better now.
funny pictures of cats with captions