Costumes, yummy food, friends, football, and a book signing.
If you threw in a beach and maybe a game of darts, this would be the most perfect weekend ever.
Tonight I have a costume party to go to. I was originally gonna be She-Hulk, but plans have changed…Yes, we’re having a ‘super hero’ themed party…and yes, She-Hulk (or ‘Slutty She-Hulk’ as I was planning to be) would’ve been a lot of fun…but I may not want to have green hair all night. So I’ve revamped.
Now I’m going as Cliché, The Naughty School Girl. But wait! you say. I thought this was a super hero party? you say.
Ah yes. It is. I’m the super hero of fantasies. Heh. And since I seem to pull off the Naughty Librarian look on a dialy basis, I decided to mix it up a little.
Yes, I’ll probably post pictures.
Probably.
I’m also making Artichoke-Me dip for my appetizer contribution. It’s a very simple and yummy recipe and I really can’t wait to pull it out of the oven so I can have a bite. (or 12)
Tomorrow is the Razorback game. They play Ole Miss (which is where our former coach defected to a couple of years ago. *boo hiss*) I feel certain we’re gonna tap the keg of whoop-ass on them. If we don’t, I’m also sure my Rebel pals will let me hear all about it. Wish I was going to be there…but…
I have a book signing tomorrow! Remember? There are 6 awesome authors gathering at the Books-a-million in NLR, AR from 5-8 pm Saturday night! You won’t wanna miss it…I’m thinking with that much talent all in one place, there might be a shift in the time-space continuum.
Y’all have a great weekend. I’ll see you Monday!
Thursday: Received my final round of edits from awesome editor and in it, she included a lovely surprise that totally made my day. Read about it here at Ficitonistas. There’s even a picture. (Sorry to disappoint, it’s not porn.) Then I went out with my girlfriends and we celebrated
Friday: Do I remember Friday? Let me think. Oh yes. I got my hair did. The lovely Katie at Fringe Benefits rocked the color and cut as always. But then we had a bit of a snafu and she rallied the troops like the super hero that she is. So here’s what went down. We had 
my head covered in the lovely coppery red (WHAT? YOU THOUGHT IT WAS NATURAL? see how good she is?) I was rocking the plastic shower cap and texting some friends as I waited. (How did I ever survive getting my hair done without my crackberry?) It was time to rinse when suddenly, there was NO WATER IN THE SALON.
Yes, a water main had busted and I was going to have purple hair. Or no hair. it was not going to be pretty. Katie sprung into action and called some nearby salons but they, too, were affected by the water outage. I joked and said “Maybe we should use the bottled water. Or I could just run home and rinse.”
Next thing I know, one of the salon studs was holding a 5 gallon jug of water over my head as Katie rinsed and washed. Yes, I was rinsed by a $60 bottle of water. And my hair never felt softer.
Also, the color rocks; as does Katie.
After the hairmergency, I had a pretty low key day that ended with dinner with a girlfriend. Or so I thought it ended. It was 11 pm. I was burrowing into the bed when my cell phone rang. I figured it was a wrong number because really, nobody ever calls me that late.
But no. It was my friends K and K. I now call them the Devil’s Handmaidens. Here is the conversation that follows:
The Handmaidens: We’re going to Tunica and you’re coming with us.
Me: Nope. Can’t.
Handmaidens: Yes you can.
Me: Srsly, I can’t. I might could do a nightcap somewhere but no to Tunica.
Handmaidens: Fine, we’re coming to get you. We just wanna go somewhere.
Okay, so they came to get me. And we went out for a drink. And then we, um, took a detour that is a really funny story but one that cannot be told on this blog. Trust me when I say, it was VERY 
educational. And fun. And funny. Maybe I’ll tell you over a beer sometime.
Then we came back to my house where the Handmaidens stayed until 4 a.m. Not only that, but Handmaiden #1 went out to her car and brought in a box of Corn Pops. Who carries Corn Pops in their car? Just in case? So we snacked on Corn Pops and gossiped until I finally said, “Y’all are either spending the night or going home because this bitch is going to bed.”
I’m too old for late nights like that. (I say this every time I have a late night like that. My friends have way too much energy for me.)
Saturday I chilled in the morning watching Amanda Bynes movies (totally love her) and then went to Birdrunner’s house for the 4th celebration. The kids swam and I hung out with Stinkydog and Hopper and the rest of the fam but I was still so tired from my night out with the Handmaidens that I had to leave before fireworks. I’m not a big firework girl anyway. The only fireworks that really did anything for me was actually this past spring in Daytona when I could watch them from my balcony. That was kinda awesome.
Sunday: I wrestled with dog fur all day until I finally gave up. Yup, that’s about it. Dog fur 1; Mel 0
How was your holiday? Anything fun or exciting happen?
don’t judge me
Happy Independence Day!
Hope you guys have big fun planned. I’ll be at Birdrunner’s with the boys, hanging out with Stinkydog and the newest (human) addition to her litter. Can’t wait.
Today I have a hair appointment and a pedicure planned. Haven’t decided on the toe color yet. Am thinking something funky and fun. Maybe a Red/White/Blue combo.
Maybe I’ll just do purple.
Or red. Bright, bright red.
I dunno. I really liked my Lizard Green toes and got loads of compliments on them. But it’s time to change things up.
Suggestions?
To my American friends, happy holiday.
To my Canadian friends, happy belated Canada day.
Party on, Wayne.
Okay, so here’s the thing. I woke up Wednesday feeling fine. About an hour later, my head started to feel funny. Another hour went by and my head felt even funnier.
Hmmm. I’m getting a cold, I’m going to nip that in the bud right now. Vitamin C, Zicam, and Sudafed to the rescue.
Usually this works.
But on Thursday I woke up feeling worse. Like lots worse. I don’t do worse. I wanted better. I went to work, finished a project, came home and slept for 3 hours.
And still felt like reheated crap.
So I sucked it up and went to the walk in clinic b/c my doctor took the week off for vacation. (Which is totally uncool. Why on earth would my doc choose the one week I’m sick to take a vacay? Srsly.)
Anyway, I go to the clinic and am in and out in an hour. I had pretty much convinced myself that I did indeed have the swine flu. Or the blue bonnet bubonic plague. But no. Apparently I just had a very bad allergy attack.
I’ve never had an allergy attack but I can honestly say I don’t wanna have one again because this one kicked my ass. Or, more appropriately, it felt like it kicked me in the head.
Not long after I took my meds, I started feeling better. Three hours and two margaritas later, I was feeling almost normal. And this morning, I’m all good. Just have a little dry mouth from the meds.
I heart medication. I heart the walk in clinic doctor. I heart margaritas. And I am sooooo happy to have my big giant snot-filled head back to just being a big, empty head. <—go ahead, make your own jokes. I can take them now, because I'm no longer Cranky McCrankypants.
Happy Memorial Day weekend to my American pals. Any big plans?
Wish I had something witty to say, you know, so we can start the year off right. But nothing’s coming to mind. Could be because I was up past 2:00 and the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet.
Hope everyone had a safe and happy night and that you were able to ring in the New Year with the people most dear to you.
I know everyone posts their New Year’s Resolutions, but I’m not really gonna do that. Barbara Samuel suggests that you think of three words to describe the previous year, and three to describe the coming. So I’m going to give that a try.
2008
disconnected
unfocused
challenging
2009
centered
bright
determined
Here are the things I plan to accomplish this year. Not resolutions.
Be a better mother
Be a more disciplined writer
Run the 10K and keep training for a half-marathon
Get a tattoo for my 40th birthday
Laugh every day at least once
What words did you pick? Did you make resolutions or are you refusing?
ETA today’s note from The Universe:
Dearest Melissa, I was about to wish that your every dream for 2009 come true. That you find yourself surrounded by friends, laughter, and good times. I almost wished that your every cup runneth over financially, romantically, spiritually, and creatively. That good health be your faithful companion, peace your guarded ally, and love your perpetual guide. When suddenly, it dawned on me that as an infinite, powerful, fun-loving gladiator of the Universe, with eternity before you and the power of your thoughts to help shape it… it’s you Melissa Francis, who will be granting wishes this year.
10…9…8…7…6…
The Universe
I totally dig The Universe…just so you know.
From one Naughty Librarian I mean, MILF, writer to all of you, have a safe, fun and happy new year. Tomorrow is another day…and I can’t wait.
We had a lovely, low key day with the family yesterday. But now Christmas is over and it’s time to get back to business.
I have 1 month to finish LOVE SUCKS! so that’s my main focus. I’ll be going to the gym today, so don’t forget to check out my Fat Chicks blog this afternoon. I have 3.5 months to shed a billion-katrillion pounds and get fit, so I can’t miss any workouts between now and then!
How was your holiday? I hope you all had a day filled with whatever you enjoy most and I really hope Santa was very good to you, even if you were naughty. 🙂
Y’all know Lillian Feisty, right? She’s my friend and she’s quite naughty. Some of the things that come out of her mouth (literally and figuratively) are quite shocking. But I am a good friend who is totally up to the task of Feisty. Last night we were chatting and she had a request. For Christmas, I had to write her a naughty story that included Bourbon, Irish Cream, sheep, astronauts, and Fishdog tied to a chair. I think I accomplished it… Be warned. It is naughty. Though I will admit, it was much naughtier last night when I was drinking. LOL I toned it down some this morning because, well, I’m a chicken when I’m not fueled by liquid gold. 😉 (and no, I did not save the orginal version. On purpose.)
————————-
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
not a creature was stirring
except a sweet ginger mouse.
The stockings were tied to the chimney with care
And Fishdog was tied to a kitchen chair.
The children away with the babysitter
And visions of Feisty hit Fishdog like a flair.
Feisty in her corset
and I in my socks
Had just settled in
to watch Dick in a Box.
When out on the lawn
arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch,
to see what was the matter.
Away to the window
I flew in a flash
tore open the shutters
and ripped off my sash
The moon made my breasts
seem fresh as new snow
Their brightness lit the way
For 8 tiny sheep and a sex-toy laden sleigh.
The driver eyed me with appreciation
as he disembarked and demanded a bourbon
He rubbed his goatee, and with a cocky smile said
“You look like you are ready for bed.”
What choice did I have
but to invite him inside
He brought his bag of goodies
and Feisty’s eyes went wide.
“Oh my,” she sighed
as she fixed an Irish Cream
“I’m just missing one thing
To make this a true dream”.
“Your wish is my command,”
Our visitor replied.
And Feisty giggled when she said
“Astronauts make me warm inside.”
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
I knew I had nothing to dread
The magic bag opened and what should appear
Astronauts dressed in full space gear.
With a squeal of delight, Feisty grabbed their hands
and tied them to chairs with strong leather bands
Our visitor turned to me asking
“What is your command?”
I spoke not a word but he figured me out
when the magical mist covered us in a shroud
When the fog lifted, my heart sighed
As we lay on the beach watching the sunrise
It didn’t take long for the dream to end
When I woke the next morning Feisty was spent
Of last night’s debauchery
there was not a hint
As I laid in my bed I heard a low rumble
It was a sexy laugh that made my heart fumble
the voice was so quiet I almost missed it
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good tumble.
—————
Hope you all got a good tumble for Christmas. Much love and happy holidays to everyone.
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 