Tag Archives: The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette: because Mags wants to know…

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My thoughts on the Bachelorette:

Okay, y’all know I make fun of this show mercilessly. Last season’s show with Jake the Fake and Vienna Sausage was like the train wreck of awesome served with the bottomless bottle of Kim Cattral Crawford wine. And calorie free lemon tarts. I mean– it don’t get more awesome than that.

Ali Cat’s season was a little different, mainly because it was so totally producer driven that it became difficult to watch. I know this isn’t ‘reality’ tv no matter how hard they try to tell us it is, BUT when the drama is created in order to keep people watching because the show is so damn boring otherwise, well, it makes it no fun to watch.

And that’s kinda what happened with Ali Cat’s season. They created the ‘Rated R’ drama. They created the ‘Kasey’ drama (how much you wanna bet they paid for that tattoo?) They knew Frank wanted out but made him stay til his leaving would be more dramatic. This was probably the most UNreal Bachelorette ever. And it showed. (Though I’m gonna give Frank his props for his acting. Well done, Sir. I believe you need to forget your screenwriting career and start auditioning for film or tv.)

I think the producers knew from the beginning that Ali was gonna choose Roberto and they wanted to distract everyone from that. They edited the hell out of their time together. (Side note: poor sweaty Roberto! Someone give that man a towel!) They tried to give Chris L’s edit more oomph with the mother thing…(which damn they over did) and they really wanted us to believe she and Frank were gonna be happy 4-evah so that we’d be devastated when he left. But honestly, who’s devastated over this show anymore?

I loved Chris L. but there was no way she was gonna choose him. I have to say, I really respected the way Ali Cat dumped Chris. She didn’t allow him to come to the final rose ceremony because honestly, that’s just mean to humilate a dude that way. “Will you marry me?” Uh no. I love the other guy more. But you’re awesome. Thanks for playing. (this is when the producers hide all sharp objects)

The proposal was adorable. It was obvious they have very strong chemistry and are very excited about each other. Will it last? Bah! Maybe. They have a better chance than Jake the Fake and Vienna Sausage did, that’s for sure. Do I care if they make it? Nope. But the romantic in me kinda hopes they do, cuz I’m a sap like that. Maybe love can conquer all…even unreality tv.

a mel-o-jumble

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Okay, random stuff day.

First off, go see Despicable Me. Seriously. Wonderful movie. Heartwarming. Funny. Fabulous.

Secondly, The Bachelorette is off the deep end. Balls to the walls full of BS and craziness. If you think that show is really “reality” tv, then I want whatever it is your smokin’. Or drinkin’. Or poppin’. Because there is nothing real about that show.

It’s not even fun to make fun of anymore. Bleh.

However, the BACHELOR PAD looks like it’s made of chocolate covered awesome and is dying for me to slice it with my biting wit.

LIE TO ME is one of the greatest shows on earth and nobody should miss it. Yes, it comes on during the first hour of the Bachelorette, but trust me when I tell you, it’s worth watching. I actually think it’s more real than the reality show…

I cleaned my room this weekend. Scary stuff was found in some of the unpacked boxes. Like pictures of me from elementary, middle and high schools. Also some college pics in the late 80s when I had short permed hair and GINORMOUS FREAKING BLUE GLASSES. I don’t even know if I can scan them to show them, THAT’S HOW BAD THEY ARE.

Clementine is pregnant. That little teenaged Tart. She’s not even a year old, and I have no idea where the Tom is hiding because we have 6 acres and I’ve not seen hide nor hair of the horny bastard, but it’s happened. We’re gonna have kittens. So you guys get ready…because depending on how many are born and how many survive…I’m gonna hit you up internets! I’m too young to be a Kitteh Grandma! Would that be GrandKittehMa?

Here’s a pic of the little ho-bag in a box. Because you know cats and empty boxes…

the BOOB tube

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heheheheheh

I said BOOB.

I no longer have cable tv or a dvr. Surprisingly enough, my world hasn’t imploded, locusts haven’t shrouded my home, and hell (as far as I know) still hasn’t frozen over. But it’s still early, so it may be too soon to tell…

I’m having to be creative about catching up with shows I love like Drop Dead Diva, Burn Notice, and of course TRUE FREAKING BLOOD… (oh Eric, how I’ve missed you) Thankfully, you can watch full episodes on the internet–oh, wait. I don’t have internet either. But, I have friends who do, so I’m pretty much set up.

I do have regular TV (you know, the basic channels with an antenna. Yeah, I’m hip like that. Goin’ old sk00l and keepin’ it real, yo.) So I can still watch some of my favorites like the stupid Bachelorette (Maria, I may never forgive you for making me watch this train wreck) LIE TO ME (which comes on at same time as stupid Bachelorette so I end up flipping channels at commercial) Survivor will be back soon. And there’s this new show with Bradley Whitford & Colin Hanks which is just fun as hell.

Yes. I have a problem with the boobs tube.

The Bachelorette is still boring the crap outta me. (why do I keep watching???) Read Maria’s run down if you want a good idea of what happened last night. It’s redonkulous. I can’t even do my Mystery Bachelorette Theater on facebook anymore because it’s so damn boring. Suffice it to say, the top 2 are obvious, the top 4 pretty easy to pick and between the top 2…one of them will be the next Bachelor more than likely.

I did watch the season 3 premier of True Blood and was thrilled to see my characters back, but was left a little confused. I’m gonna watch it again this week and see if I can unmuddle some of the muck. Drop Dead Diva is such a fun show that everyone should be watching. If you’re not watching, you need your head examined.

Okay, guess that sums up my boob tube problem. Those boobs–they’ll get you every time!

um, where did u go?

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yeah. I totally had a blog topic in my head this morning.

And now that topic has totally disappeared. Vanished. Run away. Died a thousand deaths. Went kaput. Is temporarily unavailable.

Whatever you wanna call it, it’s gone.

So now what do I talk about? I could discuss last night’s Bachelorette, but that would bore you all to tears. Yes. Yesterday’s show was the most boring Bachelorette ever. YAWN. No big surprises. No big deal with who was sent home. Lots of forced drama. Blah. Blah. Blah. I will say, I really, really, really like Chris L. and his cute little Cape Cod accent. And Jesse should just never wear a shirt. Ever.

I’m going to see Sex and the City tomorrow afternoon with my girlfriends.

Tonight is Trivia Night. But I’m feeling kinda blah and low key…guess that realy doesn’t have anything to do with my head full of useless knowledge, but I do tend to have a better time when my sparkle is running at 110%. Guess I need to get my sparkle going again.

I’ll leave you guys with my favorite pic from yesterday. The big guy is Buckshot…my neighbor’s big old aging yellow lab. The pug, is of course my Ruby. Isn’t this a great shot?

a MELting pot blog

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Went back to the lake yesterday. Ahhhhhh. Don’t I look content? I’m telling you, Vitamin D is my favorite vitamin on earth.

I practiced driving the party barge…driving really isn’t an issue–it’s the parking it in the dock that I kinda suck at. It’s gonna be pretty interesting in a couple of weeks when I’m hosting my Bunko group at the lake. Those pics should be fun. Or not.

Tonight is trivia night. If I go, I’m gonna be late. I’m not sure I’ll know how to handle missing trivia…so I guess I better make sure I get there, huh?

Now, let’s talk BACHELORETTE:

S
P
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R
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A
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B
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W

First of all, CRAIG M. is the biggest douche known to man and I’m glad he’s gone. I think the Weatherman was right on: Craig M. is psycho. Glad Ali dumped him on his big-haired ass.

Justin bugs me. He seems sweet, but I’m telling you, something isn’t right with that boy. Mark my words, the wrassler isn’t an honest man.

Frank is so damn cute. I wanna eat him up with a spoon. Same with Roberto. Yummy. He can hit a homerun with me anytime.

Jesse is HOT. That body and those tats had me MELting everywhere. And I really like Ty. Alot. I have a feeling he’s gonna go a long way. If I were to pick the top 4, it would be Frank, Roberto, Jesse, and Ty. BUT, of that group, Jesse is the one who is least likely to go.

I truly think Roberto will go to the final 2. Not sure who the other one will be…maybe Ty (because wow he’s charming) or Frank (because he makes me laugh. I heart him…)

Are you watching? What do you think?

carry on

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Not really in a good place today, so no fun blog for you. I will tell you I watched the Bachelorette: Douchebaggery of Love last night and am quite excited about this season’s craptastic potential.

Here’s one of my favorite moments from last night’s show…

if the video doesn’t play, it’s the “Serenade” online. Of course, they cut out the part where he sang “I can throw a football better than Jake.” Cracked me up.