feelin’ SASSY!

I’m talking about motivation, failure and success at FCR today. Go forth and read.

I thought I was going to gnaw my arm off yesterday afternoon around 4:30. I’ve been eating a ton of protein, but I guess my activity increase has motivated my metabolism to jump into gear, (this is a good thing) and by yesterday afternoon, I could’ve chased down a wildebeest and eaten it live in 4.5 seconds.

Instead, I went home and hurriedly put together a very high protein wrap and drank some roasted dandelion tea.  And I was full for the rest of the night.

And I woke this morning, full sass and sparkle. I hope you guys are wearing your shades, because I’m shining bright!

So rapid topic change…some of you folks need to stop taking FB so damn seriously. For REALZ. First off, if you have to qualify every freakin’ post on your own page with something like “Don’t be a hater, but…” or “This is MY opinion only, don’t hate…” then probably, you’re wrapping your ‘opinion’ in a bundle of judgement. And that’s okay, it’s your page, but if you’re not comfortable with the response you are going to get, then probably you should rethink your post.  Either own your feelings or bury them on the inside. Stop getting so defensive. (Probably, you wouldn’t be so defensive if you didn’t have some passive-aggressive alternate point to your post anyway.)

Just know, if you’re always posting life drama or hating on someone or ‘qualifying’ all your ‘controversial’ opinions…I’m hiding you from my news feed. I don’t need the negativity. I’ve spent months ridding myself of it…and since I find FB to be a place to be playful and fun, your constant pettiness and vitriol is not for me. You’re welcome to continue to drown yourself in it–it’s your page after all. I just choose to smile and click “hide from news feed.”

And this…is how I choose to live. It’s amazing how great I feel now that I’ve changed my attitude. It was a lot of work (and still is) but it was totally worth it.

Happy Tuesday! I hit the gym at lunch, am walking after work, then I’m getting my lashes refilled. Tomorrow is supposed to be hella stormy, and seriously, I’m kind of excited about it. I love a good spring thunderstorm…as long as nobody is hurt.

Stay sassy and carry on, bitches!

The Bachelorette: because Mags wants to know…

My thoughts on the Bachelorette:

Okay, y’all know I make fun of this show mercilessly. Last season’s show with Jake the Fake and Vienna Sausage was like the train wreck of awesome served with the bottomless bottle of Kim Cattral Crawford wine. And calorie free lemon tarts. I mean– it don’t get more awesome than that.

Ali Cat’s season was a little different, mainly because it was so totally producer driven that it became difficult to watch. I know this isn’t ‘reality’ tv no matter how hard they try to tell us it is, BUT when the drama is created in order to keep people watching because the show is so damn boring otherwise, well, it makes it no fun to watch.

And that’s kinda what happened with Ali Cat’s season. They created the ‘Rated R’ drama. They created the ‘Kasey’ drama (how much you wanna bet they paid for that tattoo?) They knew Frank wanted out but made him stay til his leaving would be more dramatic. This was probably the most UNreal Bachelorette ever. And it showed. (Though I’m gonna give Frank his props for his acting. Well done, Sir. I believe you need to forget your screenwriting career and start auditioning for film or tv.)

I think the producers knew from the beginning that Ali was gonna choose Roberto and they wanted to distract everyone from that. They edited the hell out of their time together. (Side note: poor sweaty Roberto! Someone give that man a towel!) They tried to give Chris L’s edit more oomph with the mother thing…(which damn they over did) and they really wanted us to believe she and Frank were gonna be happy 4-evah so that we’d be devastated when he left. But honestly, who’s devastated over this show anymore?

I loved Chris L. but there was no way she was gonna choose him. I have to say, I really respected the way Ali Cat dumped Chris. She didn’t allow him to come to the final rose ceremony because honestly, that’s just mean to humilate a dude that way. “Will you marry me?” Uh no. I love the other guy more. But you’re awesome. Thanks for playing. (this is when the producers hide all sharp objects)

The proposal was adorable. It was obvious they have very strong chemistry and are very excited about each other. Will it last? Bah! Maybe. They have a better chance than Jake the Fake and Vienna Sausage did, that’s for sure. Do I care if they make it? Nope. But the romantic in me kinda hopes they do, cuz I’m a sap like that. Maybe love can conquer all…even unreality tv.

let’s talk about sex(y)

Or even smexy. Nothing better than smart and sexy…but I digress.

What is sexy?

Main Entry:
sexy Listen to the pronunciation of sexy
Inflected Form(s):
sex·i·er; sex·i·est
1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating : erotic 2 : generally attractive or interesting : appealing
— sex·i·ly Listen to the pronunciation of sexily \-sə-lē\ adverb
— sex·i·ness Listen to the pronunciation of sexiness \-sē-nəs\ noun

So let’s discuss.

Agree or disagree? Sexy is determined by the looker not the lookee? (make sense? I am on my 3rd drink, so this may be considered a drunk blog before it’s all over. My bad.)

Sexy or Sex Appeal is determined by the person forming the opinion. Not the object of the opinion. It doesn’t matter if I think I’m a frumpy old woman, if someone else looks at me and says, “Damn that bitch is sex-on-a-stick!” then I totally am. yes or no?

OR do you think that sexy is the state of mind of the person being looked at. ‘I feel sexy therefore I am?’ Now, I’m not discounting the sex appeal of anyone who feels sexy. Seriously, I can tell a difference on the nights I feel smoking hot and the nights I just feel put together. Guys (and girls) notice the difference. But I think that’s a confidence thing, more than anything. I don’t think that has anything to do with ‘am I sexy or am I just a goofball?’ mentality.

Personally, I find confidence sexy as hell. You can be the biggest nerd on earth, but if you’re confident (and maybe just a little cocky, I do have a weakness) I’ll think you’re sexy. So if you don’t think of yourself as sexy, does that make me wrong?

Talk amongst yourselves. Would love to hear your thoughts on this…

the bad boy equivalent?

I love a bad boy. We know that. I’ve blogged about it several times. From the books I read to the shows I watch, I am always drawn to the emotionally walled off, and cocky bad boy. (Hello, LOST fans? Team Sawyer! Jack’s a pussy weenie.)And now that Kevin McKidd is on Grey’s Anatomy–yum. He’s the only reason to keep watching. He’s all of the above PLUS he’s a ginger!

These are the men that make fantasizing more fun.

Today, I’m going to talk about a different fantasy–The Naughty Librarian. Is this the male “bad boy” equivalent? Did Sarah Palin Tina Fey bring out this fantasy for nearly every man in America?

I only ask this because I’ve been told by several people since I’ve darkened my hair, that with my glasses on, I look like the “hot” or “naughty” librarian. Now, I’m not complaining. I totally dig that. Calling me a Naughty Librarian is one step closer to my ultimate goal of being Stifler’s Mom.

So what is the obsession with the naughty librarians? I get the school girl fantasy–sorry, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pull that one off. Is it the glasses? The shushing? The fact that if you do it in a library you have to be quiet? The authority figure thing? What makes the Naughty Librarian such a turn on?

I’m also talking about Sports Movies over at Fictionistas today. Click the banner and stop by!

Today’s note from the Universe:

2009, Melissa, will not be just another year.

It’s the absolute richest I’ve ever imagined, with the most possibilities I’ve ever created, for the coolest people I’ve ever known, to do the greatest things that have ever been done.

Don’t feel any pressure.

Let’s do this,
The Universe

I have a very good feeling The Universe has this one right.

fog and food

It was foggy outside today. But not in my head! I believe I have beaten this stupid cold into submission. I may even go running again today for the first time in a week. Whoot!

Last night, Fishdog and I were chatting away while watching Top Chef (3 cheers for Tom Colicchio!) Fishdog thinks it would be a great idea if we prepared a new dish from a different country each week to expand our palates and our cooking skills.

You know, in theory, this is a great damn idea. In reality, I am not Louisa Edwards. She and Stinger are chef-like entities. I’m closer to Ronald McDonald to their Gordon Ramsay.

Don’t get me wrong, I can cook. I enjoy baking pies and roasting turkeys, and cooking big meals for dinner parties. Hell, I volunteer to host Thanksgiving every year. You don’t do that if you can’t cook. I have the skill, but it’s not a bone-deep love like it is for Louisa and I’m not sure if I’m dedicated enough to trying something new every week because frankly, it just sounds like work. Cooking relaxes Louisa…but it wears me the hell out.

I also enjoy trying new things–especially if I’m the one who prepared the food (that way I know what I’m trying.) But if I’m going to go through the effort of fixing some new cuisine, I want everyone in the family to eat it. And where Rader is pretty much willing to try anything–Nemo? Meat and potatoes. Bacon and eggs. Spaghetti and meatballs. <–see a pattern? So I feel like my effort would be wasted because I have a kid who really won't give anything unknown a chance.

What do you think? Should I throw caution to the wind and start trying out simple dishes from other countries for something new? Or should I save that for special occasions and dinner parties? What do you suggest we try first?

ETA: stop by FatChicksRunning! today. I’m talking about how Size Does Matter