monkey love

Internetz, have I ever told you how much I love sock monkeys?

Do you wanna know how happy I was when I arrived at El Jefe’s house Friday night to find this little happy waiting for me?El Jefe wins bonus points and a cookie! Oh yes. I love my sock monkey hat. I will wear it and you will love me in it.

And you know what else happened that’s related to sock monkeys? Nemo (my 16 year old) gave me this sock monkey last night when I returned home. Yes, it was a sock monkey weekend all around!

The men in my life did all right by me this weekend. Yay!

Did y’all have a good weekend? I have stuff to catch up on, so fill me in!

Feed My Frankenstein!

Tomorrow night you will find me rockin’ out at the Rob Zombie/Alice Cooper concert.

I’ve always wanted to see Alice Cooper–Rob Zombie will just be a nice bonus. 🙂
Did you know I had a rocker girl buried deep inside me? Of course you did!
I’ve always loved Alice Cooper… even back in the day when he was accused of being a devil worshipper (along with KISS and Ozzy and WASP, etc. etc. etc.). Heh I’m such a rebel. *cough*
My real love for Alice bloomed when I watched Wayne’s World. This scene right here should make everyone love Alice Cooper. He’s awesome and I’m not worthy.

Now I wanna see Wayne’s World again. Right now.

And just so Rob Zombie doesn’t feel left out, here’s my fav of his songs:

my biggest fans are smurftastic!

Ryan, my 10 year old nephew is my self-proclaimed biggest fan. He’s all the time talking about when BITE ME! goes to Hollywood, how he’s gonna be in the movie. And how he can’t wait to walk down the red carpet with his Aunt Mel.

Now, he’s never read my books, but he knows that one of the main characters is named Ryan which means he is a very. important. character. He has to be, right?

Well, my nephew is obsessed with my books being a big hit and he very badly wants me to write a 3rd book so the other day when I walked into his house he hands me a piece of paper and says, “Here’s your 3rd book idea.”

And now (with his permission of course) I’m going to share it with you:

The Final Bite
Author Meilisa Francass
Melissa Francis

The drama continues when one day Ryan was hit with a pistol andgot sent back in time to England and he meets his greatest challenge when himand his new friends have to fight Dracula and his vampire goons. Now they haveto kill dracula before sunset (I think he meant sunrise) [&]find out newromance in THE FINAL BITE.

That is truly a story made of 10 year old awesome.

Another thing that is made of awesome?
My friend’s daughter saw this and just had to buy it for me! Right now I’m calling him Count Smurfula but I’m thinking he might need a better name. What do you think? Any suggestions?

Zenyatta! Biggie! pictures!

We had a great time yesterday! Check it out. I got a couple of great pictures of Zenyatta (click here if you don’t know who she is…) She’s still undefeated and she’s running in the Apple Blossom race Saturday today at Oaklawn and I was so excited to get to see her live and in person!!

And here’s Dee with Z
and here I am with Biggie. This horse was such a flirt. He liked looking for carrots in my pockets…pockets I didn’t have. So he lifted my skirt a couple of times thinking maybe I was hiding carrots under it. Um, sorry Biggie. No carrots hidden there. I promise!

meet Biggie

This is Big in Argentina aka ‘Biggie’

We also sometimes refer to him as Mr. Big.

My friend DeeDee is part owner of Biggie and this pretty boy will be running this afternoon at Oaklawn.

And I will be there cheering him on. With gusto. And maybe even bells on.

I will be sure to take lots of pics. Of course our regular girls night out will follow after the big race. Here’s hoping Mr. Big brings home a big win!

If that happens, drinks are on me!!!!

BITE ME! on 20/20

I almost watched 20/20 last night because they were featuring ‘Real-Life Vampires’ and then thought…”Seriously, what are the odds they’ll feature my book cover for this story?” Apparently I should also buy a lottery ticket because the odds were 100%!! You’ll have to sit through a commercial once the video loads but at -6:34 on the timer, you’ll see my beautiful cover with my name front and center!

Inside the World of Real-Life Vampires


It’s official. I’m a real author now. I have books. Real books. Sure, they’re uncorrected proofs of my book, but they’re still in book form. With a cover. And my name. And my pic on the back.

This is the best MONTH OF MEL! ever.

sorry for the mobile phone quality.

Things that may or may not have happened last night after I opened the box:

  1. I cried
  2. I laughed and squeal
  3. I smelled the book
  4. I immediately tweeted and posted to Facebook
  5. I had a celebratory Guinness at my fave restaurant.
  6. I slept with them. Naked.

You decide which of these may or may not be true.

Thanks is not enough

It’s bizarre.

I sold BITE ME! January, 2007. I’ve waited and waited and waited for the day it will hit the shelves.

Yesterday, BITE ME! was finally available for pre-order. Like a good little author, I laid on my back and whored myself out proper. (apparently, I’m a blog tramp)

And you guys responded.

I don’t know how to thank you. Every time I sit down to write this blog, to write a proper thank you note, I freeze. You guys were awesome yesterday. You ordered my book, you spread the word (much like I spread my legs), you gave me what I needed and for some reason I can’t find the right words to express my appreciation. (I’m supposed to be a writer, so this is a little unusual for me)

So let me just say, Thank You.

Those words aren’t enough and I know it. But they’re definitely a start. I told a friend of mine last night that I didn’t know how to respond to such an outpouring of support and his response? “You deserve it.”

As simple as that.

Whether I deserve it or not, that was really nice to hear. And all the private emails, facebook comments, cheering and sparkling were overwhelmingly heart-warming.

I love writing and I love this series. And I love the fact that many of you have enough faith in me to buy my first book.

Do I deserve it? No. Not really. Do I appreciate it? Absofuckinglutely. Y’all are amazing. I am humbled. I don’t do humble, so give me a minute to recover, mmmkay?

And tomorrow, I will resume regularly scheduled unserious blogging. The topic is a google phrase: “Teach My Ass Melissa”

I give you this teaser free of charge. You’re welcome.

Dear Person from Germany who googled Teach my ass Melissa,
I’m going to need a little bit of direction.