Dear Sandman,

It’s official. We’re in a fight.

Dude. Seriously. It’s Saturday morning. Couldn’t you have just sprinkled me with a wee bit more sleeping dust last night?

This is how I’m going to greet you until you let me sleep past 4:00 A.M. again.

That is all.

-Mel

let’s get physical

I went to the gym tonight…talking about it over at FatChicksRunning.

Hope y’all have a good weekend. I dunno if it’ll be a blogging weekend or not for me. And who knows, I’m drinking tonight, so y’all might get lucky and get a drunk blog later

Wouldn’t that be something? A dirty little secret (mmmm gingers) and a drunk blog all in one night?

Keep your fingers crossed. Until then, enjoy…

It’s dirty little secret time!

It’s been far too long since I’ve admitted a dirty little secret. Here is a list of past secrets:

Yes, these are all my dirty little confessions. And now I have another one.

I am so relieved that Ron Weasley Rupert Grint is 20 years old, because now my crush on him doesn’t seem quite so forbidden.

It’s the red hair. And the smile.

And the accent.

Mostly it’s the hair.

Maybe my dirty little secret isn’t my mad crush on a 20 year old, it’s the fact that I dig gingers.

Case in point:

Eric Stoltz. He has always been Some Kind of Wonderful to me. Sigh.

David Caruso. Maybe not so much now, but when I first saw him on NYPD Blue, I lost a little piece of my heart to him.

Damian Lewis. If you don’t watch Life, you’re missing out. Either way, he’s my latest ginger crush.

Maybe if Matt Damon was a red head, we’d still be together. Who knows?

Dear Matt Damon,

Dear Matt Damon,

It is with a heavy heart that I write you this letter. We have been not-so-secret pretend lovers for a very long time. And you have been so good to me. And when I say good, I mean REALLY good to me. But I’ve come to realize that it’s just not working anymore.

Another man has caught my eye and captured my heart.

Simon Baker is the man for me. He makes my heart do weird things and makes me tingly in all the right places. I’ve always had a crush on him, but now that he enters my living room every week, my crush has grown to love. He is my new not-so-secret pretend lover.

I realize this hurts. I know you’re going to want to fight for me. I understand. But please man! Keep your dignity in tact. It’s over. Accept it. We’ve had some good times together. I hope those memories will soften this blow.

You will always have a special place in my heart. But it’s time for me to move on. I will always love you, just not in that way.

Yours in Platonic Love,
Mel

things that make me happy

The holidays are always full of cheer, but I decided to make a list of things that make me happy year around. In no particular order:

  • Hot coffee first thing in the morning.
  • ABBA, Bee Gees, and Donna Summer
  • Dragonflies
  • My boys’ goofy laughs
  • Fishdog’s sense of humor.
  • The number 897
  • Phone calls from my BFFs
  • Emails from long-lost friends
  • Ruby (see picture. How could that face not make you happy?)
  • Boston Legal (Why is this the last season??), Patrick Jane, How I Met Your Mother
  • Maker’s Mark
  • Diamond Bear Beer
  • The Beach
  • The smell of fresh honeysuckle, new money, and puppy breath.
  • Dirty Dancing (the movie, not the activity. Though I don’t mind a good dirty dance every once in a while.) The Replacements, American President, Robin Hood Men in Tights.

Of course, that’s not a complete list, but it’s a good start. What about you? What can you think of, turn on, or look at that instantly lifts your spirits?

Writing update:
Yesterday was a writing bust because I spent the majority of the day deciphering my son’s microscopic handwriting and then last night, I taught him how to properly edit his research paper. I was cross-eyed by the time it was over. Today will be a different story.

maniacal monday

I’m at Ficitonistas this morning, talking about research papers.

The weekend was busy. I finished my copy edits. It was a whirlwind process since I didn’t receive them until Thursday and editor needed them on her desk by Tuesday. But I did it. I had some difficulty with a few of the edits. Like marking the ‘s’ off of backwards, making it backward. Both uses of the word are correct–but here in the south, backwards is how we say it–so that’s how the character says it. I didn’t STET it because it could just be house style and I felt like there were more important things for me to STET.

My good friend and big time author stud, Ace Atkins, advised me to make color copies of my copy edits and then use them as a reference when I get my first pass pages. So I made copies (just not color. Holy cow! Money is a little tight to be spending that kinda cash on copies, even if it is a write off) The color wasn’t really necessary because the copy edits were in Track Changes in the doc, so my hand-written changes will be easy to find.

So now it’s back to writing LOVE SUCKS! I’m going to power through a rough draft and spend the last half of December and first part of January revising. Wish me luck!

Dear Southern Grocers (especially Walmart)

Change is sometimes difficult to deal with. Even though I’m a huge proponent of change, I understand that sometimes it’s hard to adjust to. Especially in the business world.

Sometimes attitude makes all the difference. I realize that the south is oftentimes resistant to new things. Once we get comfortable, we start spouting off things like ‘Why fix what ain’t broke?’ and ‘Change is for the parkin‘ meter.’

I need you to listen to this southern girl. This Global Warming thing is real. You can try to blame Al Gore and chalk it up to a bunch of ‘liberal hooey’ but that doesn’t change the truth. The reason your corporate offices are selling ‘Reusable Grocery Bags’ is because they realize that those awful plastic bags are a huge contributor to Al Gore’s mess this problem.

This shopper actually loves her reusable bags. (I HATE the Walmart ones…I love the Kroger ones) I would love them even more if you, the southern grocers, would train your associates on how to efficiently bag groceries in the reusable bags. I understand that here in Little Rock, there are only about 5 of us who use them, but I promise, if your associates change their attitude and become more efficient, that will change.

Yesterday I was at the Bryant Walmart with my mother. My checkout associate was really nice. She was older and had obviously never had anyone use the reusable bags before. (I’m quite sure Bryant, AR will be the last place on earth to convert to the reusable bags.)She was almost confused when I handed the bags to her. She fumbled her way through, mumbling under her breath the whole time. I don’t think she was intending to be rude, but it came across that I was inconveniencing her. Last week, the associate was downright rude to me. She rolled her eyes when I handed her my bags. That is unacceptable.

Honestly? Their attitude is your fault because you haven’t trained them properly. When I was in Florida this summer, I watched in absolute AWE as the Publix associates were almost joyful when they were handed the reusable bags. And talk about efficient? It was amazing. I wish Publix would come to Arkansas. I would never go to Kroger or Walmart again.

I use 6-8 grocery bags for my weekly groceries, as opposed the 30-40 plastic bags. I wish we’d go to a completely ‘plastic-bag free’ environment, but I know, at least in Arkansas, we’re a long way away from that. I’m still using my reusable bags and I need you guys to do a better job in welcoming my choice. Don’t make me feel like I’m inconveniencing you. Because I promise, one day, there will be another grocery option here–and I’ll take my business to them faster than kudzu spreads.