au bouquet de Tyne Daly

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Yesterday afternoon, Fishdog and I had drinks with some good friends. You know how hard it is to find a couple you and your spouse love equally? Well, Chris and DeeDee are our perfect match.

Unfortunately, there is a problem with our friendship.

We get stupid together. Totally, unbelievably, ridiculously stupid.

Stoooooopid.

Yesterday’s stupidity began with one of Chris’s favorite questions: “Which character am I gonna be in your book?”

I explain that I’m not sure but maybe I’ll make him a bad sheriff. Or the hot teacher.

Both options meet his approval. Then he asks, “Who’s gonna play me in the movie.”

That’s easy enough. “Timothy Dalton. You guys could be twins.” (it’s true. They look remarkably alike–of course, Chris is 20 years younger, so Timothy will have to have a good make-up artist, but it could work…)

Again, this meets Chris’s approval.

Then he asks me, “Are you gonna have a fart joke in your book? Cuz you know, flatulence can make or break a story.” (what is it with boys and fart jokes?)

So, at the same time that Chris is talking about farts, Fishdog is still casting the movie. When Chris says something about farting, Fishdog says Tim Daly should be cast as Chris’s character. I say something about “loving me some Tim Daly” and what does DeeDee hear?

“I love me some Tyne Daly farts.”

OMG. Stooooopid.

But it gets worse. We couldn’t let it go. Suddenly, we’ve cast Tyne Daly as Chris’s character and Chris says he doesn’t mind if Tyne plays his character in the movie as long as she farts. So for the rest of the afternoon, if Tyne Daly was mentioned, you had to make a fart noise. And now I’ve been commanded to write in a character that can be played by Tyne Daly and that character must have a flatulence problem. I don’t know how well a Farting Vampire will go over with YA girls, but I’m guessing I may be able to appeal to the teenage boy demographic if I write that character.

We were all crying from laughing so hard. I don’t know which is worse, the fact that we were sober when we created the Tyne Daly Fart Game or the fact that I’m really considering writing that character into the book.

This author has no knowledge of Tyne Daly’s actual flatulence issues or lack thereof. No offense to Tyne Daly intended…

have things changed?

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In the comments of my last post, Liz said:

I haven’t been to a high school football game since I was in high school. I too miss it, although my memories of the games include sneaking drinks in, chatting, walking off site to smoke, and checking out the 17 year old guys. Have things changed?

In a word? Nope.

But apparently I have.

It’s a bit strange being an adult at a high school function. I haven’t seen so much eye rolling and gum smacking in one place ever! I looked around for a 17 year old guy to make out with, but they were all already occupied in the with their own girlfriends. Darn.

The clicks are still around in full force. The junior high kids go off and nerd it up together. The senior high girls are all wearing too much make up and showing too much skin. Whatever happened to jeans and t-shirts at a football game? When did hoochie “skirts” become the in thing for a football game. Honey, when you sit down, we see your bidniz. K? And when you stumble down the bleachers and fall because you’ve had one too many “Cokes”, well, we can really see your bidniz. Put on a pair of pants. Hell, I’m not picky. Put on some panties! The kids don’t need an anatomy lesson just yet.

The senior high boys are all trying so hard to look nonchalant that they all end up looking constipated.

Pretty much, things haven’t changed at all.

Saturday was busy, busy for us. We got up and went to the park for a family run. Fishdog and Ian ran about 1.5 miles and Rader and I walked and ran a mile. We were getting ready to start our second trip around the track when a yellow jacket decided to attack. It got Rader on the arm, landed on his ear and I knocked it away. We ran toward the van, got about 10 ft. away from the original sting site, and that bitch yellow jacket caught up to Rader, landed on his shoulder blade and stung him again. Bitch had to die! Get my boy twice! Of course, you know how bad those things hurt and Rader did a good job of letting Saline County hear his wailing. After a while, he was okay. I was afraid he was gonna let the drama interfere with his soccer game that afternoon, but he manned up and managed to play a helluva game. The kids lost, but I was proud of the way Rader played.

Now the weekend is over, today we rest, hang out with some friends, and tomorrow we start all over. Soccer, cross-country, confirmation class, CYM Jr., working out…oh, and writing. Yeah. Gotta fit my job into my busy schedule!

days go by

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What day is it?

Oh, FRIDAY.

That’s been the strangest thing for me since I stopped working at my office job. I can’t keep up with the days of the week. Even the fact that I’m taking the kids to school everyday doesn’t seem to help. I’m always carting them around anyway, right?

I’m not complaining, mind you. It’s just strange that today is Friday and I’m not feeling that “THANK GOD!” excitement hum through me. And come Monday, I won’t feel that, “it’s really Monday?” sense of dread as my alarm goes off. That is a nice change. I feel much more even and happy.

Yesterday I completed my chapter. I’m thinking that library thing might really work out, so I’m gonna do it a couple of days a week, I think. But I have to take a sweater because they keep the temperature set on Meat Locker in there. Burrrrrrr.

Ian completed his first full week of cross-country yesterday. He’s been whining like an old lady about his thighs and how much he hurts. I just hand him two Advil and tell him to drink plenty of water. Poor baby. He thought because he was skinny that meant he was in shape. Hah!

Rader’s soccer team looks like they might be pretty good. I really like the coach, he’s Irish (so I love listening to him talk) and he loves soccer and he’s good with the kids. Fishdog’s gonna help out when he’s around more. Rader is still struggling with running, too. We’re gonna have to make this running thing into a family thing. Not that I’m any better off the elliptical. But I think I could manage ten mins of running. Maybe.

Fishdog is coming back tonight. Rader’s first game is tomorrow and the Fishdog has a game on Sunday. Ian’s first cross-country meet is the 19th. That should be interesting. I’ve never been to a cross-country meet before. I hope Ian’s competitive side kicks in and he runs through the pain. LOL

I’m taking the boys to the Catholic High football game tonight. They play my high school’s rival, Benton. It should be fun. I miss high school football and tonight should be perfect. Unless it’s raining. I don’t miss it that much.

do not disturb

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at the library.

I have one and a half hours before my first PTO meeting.

Must. Write.

Will have 2 hours after PTO to write.

I’ll check in later. After I kill the guy two tables over listening to Usher on his MP3 player so loud that I can sing along…

horseshoes and hand grenades

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Writing

I almost made my goal yesterday. I actually completed a scene which completed a chapter, but I did not write an entire chapter.

As my daddy always said, “Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

So, today’s goal: complete 1 chapter.

Other

It’s storming today in Arkansas, and boy am I glad. We’ve desperately needed the rain as well as the cooling temperatures. It came a quick flood yesterday afternoon. A short burst of angry rain that nearly washed us off the road as we drove toward Rader’s soccer practice. Of course, by the time we arrived at the fields, the rain was over, which was great, because Rader really needed to practice.

He did well during practice but when the coach made him run a lap of the 3 fields, he nearly died. We told him during the last part of summer during his slouching, eating, and video game phase that soccer was gonna kill him if he didn’t get outside and run a little. Well, he figured it out real quick last night.

Ian started Cross Country yesterday, too. His coach said he hit that 1st mile with no problem, but about a quarter into the 2nd mile: problem. It seemed the summer couch potato lifestyle came back and bit him on the arse as well. LMAO. He runs 3 days a week at school. They’ll both be running with me the other days. I’m thinking being out run by your big momma might be incentive to get into shape. We’ll see.

Last night, after the kids went to bed, I settled in with my Kresley Cole book (I’m so gonna stalk her. She’s like awesome and totally in need of a new BFF. ) I was reading about this hot Scottish Vampire while the rain drummed soothingly on the tin roof of the porch when all of a sudden this loud freaking CRASH and BOOM shook the house. I thought a deer had crashed through the back porch. I turned on the light with the full expectation of finding a terrified 30 point buck thrashing around the patio.

Nothing.

Hmmmm.

So, we traipse into the backyard with our flashlight and began to investigate. We saw a very large tree limb on the roof of the patio. As we’re standing there, we hear a very loud CRRRRRRRAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK and another limb falls, scaring the piss out of us all. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, well except for the patio roof.. It was so loud it woke the kids, but they quickly got over it and went back to sleep.

And I settled back in with my sexxxxy vampire and the steady drumming of rain. With a glass of wine for my nerves.

heh.

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You Belong in 1962

You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule – oh, and drugs too.
What Year Do You Belong In?

I’m in Oxford this weekend, just chillin’. Fishdog is heading to watch the Ole Miss Lady Rebels Soccer team play. I think I’m just gonna go next door and swim.

i heart arkansas!

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I love being home. It’s not that I didn’t love some things about Oxford, MS…it’s just that Oxford never felt like home. I do miss my friends though. (I’ll be there this weekend, y’all…so get ready!)

Yesterday, I was thrilled to discover that my favorite morning DJ was still on the air, just on a different station. Tommy Smith aka The Outlaw, apparently moved to 103.7, which is a sports talk radio station. I’m not sure exactly what happened between Tommy and his former radio station, Magic 105, but from the tidbits I’ve picked up, I might actually be putting my own life in danger by mentioning Tommy and Magic 105 in the same sentence. Shit. Now I’ve done it twice. Sorry.

Anyway, I had been flitting from station to station looking for morning DJs that just did it for me. Sharpe and gang over on Magic 105 are fun, and I do enjoy listening to them, but they don’t hold my attention enough. I’ve never been a big fan of Corey and Jay on 100.3 (which is my favorite radio station for music, but not for their morning show) But I would flip over there and listen for a while until one of them would say something that would make my ears bleed and then I’d have to flip again. (btw, I can’t pin down what it is about Corey and Jay that I don’t like. I honestly think it’s one of their voices and not the content. Or maybe it’s both. I dunno.)

I programmed 103.7 into my stations because you won’t get better Razorback talk anywhere else…but I hadn’t tuned in yet. And then I saw a commercial announcing Tommy Smith’s Roast to benefit Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Arkansas. He’s still on the radio! Rock on!

So, these last few days I’ve been listening to him and Bazzel and some other folks and I feel whole again.

Plus, I get to hear Razorback talk, which let’s face it, is like manna from heaven after living in Rebelville. Let’s take this moment to enjoy Shirley Q. Liquor’s rendition of Woo Pig Sooie. Go on, click the link. I’ll wait. Even my Rebel friends should listen. Don’t be a puss about it. I tolerated Hotty Toddy for 7 years, you can listen to one special hog call.

TOTAL SUBJECT CHANGE

The boys have been in school now for 2.5 weeks. Last night, Ian spoke to his best friend’s mom back in Oxford. He tells her how much he loves his new school and how he misses Oxford, but the school here is really a lot better. That warmed my heart.

And you know what warmed it even more?

The fact that he wore a faux-hawk to school today. My sweet little long-haired-hippy-boy who had to cut his beautiful locks for his new private school, is still trying to push the rules. How proud am I? (he looks thrilled that I’m taking his picture, doesn’t he?)


got myself tagged

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I was tagged by Mel. No, I did not tag myself, I promise. I don’t do that kinda thing in public.

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.

4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. (rule breaker here. I’m totally not doing that)

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog. (Unless you’re a rule breaker like me)

Okay, so I’ll do this tag. But I’m using my given middle name which is Renee. My legal middle name is now my maiden name and McKenzie is just too damn long to play this game. Especially since I’m tired.

R- ‘riter (leave me alone. it counts. 3 Rs. Readin’, Ritin’, and ‘Rithmatic)

E- Einstein, because we share a birthday and because sometimes, I have bad hair.

N- Noticable smile. I smile big and often. (I almost put non-conformist here, but that’s not entirely true. Oppositional is more accurate)

E- Enslaved. Because Gena Showalter does that to me. Well, all my good friends do. I am bound to them because they love me for me.

E- Exercise. Not because I want to, but because I have to. It is a part of my daily life, replacing Cheese Dip as the first thing I think of when I wake.

Now I’m supposed to tag people. But I don’t tag (well, not often). So, here’s the thing, if you wanna play, post a comment or just post it to your blog and let me know in the comments.