LET’S PLAY FAIRIES!

My niece Double A.

My niece Double A.

When I was a little girl, my favorite thing to do on the 4th of July was play fairies.

You don’t know how to play 4th of July Fairies? What is wrong with you!?

You light up sparklers for each hand and you “fly” around the field yelling “I’m a fairy!” I taught Double A this game last night, and we spread our fairy sparkle far and wide at the compound. I’m pretty sure it’s still glowing out there.photo 3(7)

Ian and Ben and my brother Mike bought ALL THE LOUD FIREWORKS KNOWN TO MAN and we blew shit up for hours. Well, they did. I lasted about 30 minutes. The skeeters like my sweet blood way too much. They apparently don’t even care if I bath in Off or Skin So Soft or Gasoline. It doesn’t matter. The want to suck me dry.  photo 1(9)

For a while, the entire county sounded like we were at war. I thought maybe the British were actually returning…and Paul Revere fell down on his job. But by 11:00, the bang, bang, booms had stopped and the world was quiet again.

I think everyone was excited we weren’t under a burn ban. I can’t remember the last time it sounded like that. I bet it’s been since I was a kid.

OMG. we used to have the best 4th of July celebrations when I was younger. Bonfires, roasted weenies, s’mores and lots of booms and bangs. This would have been the perfect year (weather wise, especially) to have brought back the Compound Celebrations, but with Jefe still down with the plague, it just wouldn’t have been the same. (you know he doesn’t feel well when he didn’t even come outside to blow anything up!)

Today, the kids are coming back to test out the waterproof fireworks in the pond and to blow up old toys. Good grief. We have created monsters! (Monsters of awesome)

I still have some sparklers left, so I shall play fairies one more time.

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Have a fantabulous weekend, bitches. I will be sparkling and fairying all weekend long. If you need some extra awesome, just stop by the compound. I have plenty to spare!

 

 

Monday, funday…?

Ugh. It’s so hard to come back to work after such an awesome weekend. Sigh.

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Not your typical blow job…

My favorite picture from the weekend? Look at that laugh. LOL This is El Jefe cleaning himself up after weedeating the Compound. Yes. He’s using a leaf blower to remove the debris…and dry his hair. This man makes me smile.

For more awesome weekend pics, check out my instagram... There’s some of Ruby, and coffee, and wine, and MEAT…and various other awesome stuff.

Saturday, El Jefe and I took Rader to see WORLD WAR Z and it was fantastic. Seriously. I jumped and yelped a couple of times. According to Rader “I’m such a girl.” LOL Well, yes, I am.

Rader cracks me up. He texted me all weekend long, sending me jokes and images he finds on reddit. His latest find is r/onetruegod. OMG. Nicholas Cage is the One True God. So freaking hysterical.  I believe I may have some Cagey plans for my kiddo now…

And on a final, slightly ranty note… Last week, we all read about Paula Deen’s dirty little not-so-secret issues. And suddenly, people are all up in arms, “forgiving” her on Facebook. DID SHE CALL YOU A MONKEY? No? Is she paying you less money than your white counterparts? No? Did she or her brother tell you “fuck your civil rights?” No? Then what the fuck do you have to forgive? Seriously? IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, PEOPLE. There’s nothing for YOU to forgive. Good Grief. Everything is about you, isn’t it?

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you, don’t you, don’t you?

Narcissism. You're doing it right...

Narcissism. You’re doing it right…

 

whew! what a weekend.

photo(122) See how tired Ruby is? Poor girl, she just can’t keep her head up.

(You should have heard her heavy sighs and puggly growly noises…)

So Friday I got to take Rader Tater to Oxford! Which means I got to see some dear friends and have a low-key dinner at a new-to-me place: The Bar on North Lamar…which is officially The Lamar Lounge.

The food was great and the atmosphere was chill and a good time was had by all.

Saturday morning, Drea and I walked to another of my favorite places, The Honeybee Bakery. Excellent brunch…but one of the weirdest experiences ever. For some reason, they thought it was appropriate to ask us to remove our hats! Um, no. This is not some ‘chi-chi’ swank place in New York. This is a bakery.  So we told them, yes we minded (OMG, we had just walked over a mile to get there, it was hot! And our hair was a mess under our hats) and we asked if we could sit outside to eat our brunch. They approved our request and we enjoyed our quiche and our hats.

The boys had decided to get their dad another frog item or a goat item for Father’s Day. (He has a thing about frogs and goats) We talked about a wind chime or something to hang up in the yard. I was given permission to do the frog hunting for them, since they weren’t able to get together and go themselves like they did for me. There is a new garden store on the west side of Oxford called The Barn and I found a really cool wrought iron and stone frog and the boys approved.

While we were out shopping, I finally got to try on a pair of MONKEY SHOES! I’ve wanted a pair since forever, and finally spoke to someone who was able to help me find the right oneW3333s to suit my needs. I really want to use them for my run/walks…I’ve always been a barefoot girl at heart, so I figure these shoes will be perfect for me.  (btw, the ‘real’ name of these shoes is Five Fingers, but whatever. They’re MONKEY SHOES!)  I can’t wait to order me a pair.  Probably next month! YAY ME!

I drove back to LR on Saturday, and watched The Dark Knight Rises with El Jefe and Ian. Then Sunday we had a cookout at the Compound with Lynne and Stacey Jay and her fam. Burgers, dogs, watermelon, guacamole, wine! It was an awesome day.

The weekend ended with the return of TRAINWRECK TV…also known as True Blood.

Oh, and Jefe is so damn sweet. He bought me some plant food for my maters and black out curtains for the boys’ rooms because he is so full of awesome.

Stay tuned for a letter to Walgreens…because after last Friday…we are NEVER, EVER, EVER getting back together.

friend and foe.

Mimosas. This mimosa is my friend.

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This mimosa?

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Taken at UALR

Not. So. Much.

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Coleman Creek, UALR

I forget that I have Mimosa Tree allergy. I love them. They’re beautiful and fragrant…and they make my eyes cry all the cries!

Years ago, when we bought our first house in Little Rock, our yard was filled with mimosa trees. And they were lovely. And I couldn’t see for almost 6 weeks. We thought I had developed an allergy to my contacts, so I stopped wearing them. My eyes were so light sensitive I actually had to wear those grandpa sunglasses that cover their glasses, even inside.

sexy.

sexy.

Yes. These. Except mine were a hideous dark green.

My eyes are so sensitive this week, I’m thinking about bringing sexy back with those bad boys.

And it’s my own freaking fault. I was checking out the sneaky snakes in Coleman Creek yesterday, enjoying the ambiance…inhaling the wonderful scent of the…OH SHIT. Mimosa tree that I was standing inches away from. Stupid Melf. You done lost your damn mind.

Oh well. It’ll clear up in a few days and if it doesn’t, I guess I’ll be getting me some prescription eye drops. Conjunctivitis is sexy. It makes my makeup run all down my face, like I was jilted on Prom Night.

Good thing I’m a natural beauty. haha

This weekend is Father’s Day and we’re having a cookout on Sunday.  El Jefe is Papa Bear and he’s fantastic with the boys, but they will be with their dad this Sunday. However, Stacey Jay and her fam will be hanging out with us! Because I cannot get enough of her. EVER. So we’ll be celebrating Big Daddy Mike Day. It’ll be awesome.

And I know there will be much laughter. Because that’s how we do at The Compound.

 

 

 

the sungoddess enjoyed her weekend. and a recipe! also a little Game of Thrones talk. #GoT

The ex used to call me a sungoddess and this weekend, I finally rediscovered her. (Boy I miss the lakehouse…)

The sun is worshiping the goddess. Or is the goddess worshiping the sun? Tomato/ToMAHto.

The sun is worshiping the goddess. Or is the goddess worshiping the sun? Tomato/ToMAHto.

So basically, Saturday the girls and I had a fabulous brunch where I cooked the most amazing quiche (recipe to follow) and Lynne fixed the most amazing biscuits and gravy and Robyn made the most amazing mimosas. And then we went to the pool and lounged about.

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Muy delicioso!

MELF’S “SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKA” QUICHE

Pie crust
1 8 oz bar Greek Yogurt Cream Cheese
Cholula
5 eggs
5(or more) cooked slices of bacon
1/4-1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
baby spinach (about 3/4 of a cup)
1 cup cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon basil

Preheat oven to 425

Put the pie crust in the pie plate. (Duh) Soften the cream cheese then spread evenly on the pie crust. Cover the cream cheese with Cholula sauce. (to taste. I use a lot.) Break up all the bacon and layer it on top of the cream cheese. Layer 3/4 of the cheddar cheese next.

Whip the eggs, sour cream, milk, salt, pepper and basil til well blended. Remove the stems from the baby spinach and add to the egg mixture. Pour into the pie. Cover with remaining cheese.

Cover the edges of your crust with foil or a pie crust protector. Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, then turn the heat to 350 and bake another 20-30 minutes.

SUPRISE MUTHAFUCKA! This is some good shit! And it’s very high in protein, especially if you use the Greek Yogurt Cream Cheese.

Now…Let’s talk about the let down that was the Game of Thrones finale…

I mean, yes, I’m glad Arya and the Hound had a moment. And that Dani had a moment. And that Sansa and Tyrion and a moment. But when you offer up a foreshadowing smack to the head with a skillet when Bran discusses the unforgivable sin of killing a guest in your home…and then the next scene is that hideous Walder Frey bragging about having done just that…and then you DON’T KILL ANYONE THAT DESERVES TO DIE in the season finale…well, it’s just anticlimactic.

The episode was just Okay. I guess I have grown to have huge expectations from this show because this season has just flown by and each episode has really been fast and fulfilling…so I expected something more from the season ender.  I am soooo looking forward to the next season. I am really gonna miss Hodor. LOL

hodorWell, at least I have Newsroom to look forward to. Oh, and that trainwreck True Blood that I can’t seem to stop watching. I blame it on the Viking Vampire.

Rader returned safely from his tournament in Decatur. They were not champions, but they finished with a win in their final game. He reported that he played well and is glad to be back in AR. I’m gonna be glad to see him tonight. The prodigal son of mine returned home last night. It was nice to see his face again. I like having my big babies all under the same roof.

Alright gang. That’s about it for this Monday report. Except I’m crying all the cries because my arms are hurting all the hurts thanks to the weed-eater. WHY MUST IT WEIGH 20BILLION POUNDS? #ouch.

weekend stuffs

Ugh. So Rader’s last soccer tournament for the season is this weekend. Naturally he has a game that starts at 8:30 AFREAKINGM. Seriously? I mean, c’mon guys… somebody really hates me.

But I’ll survive. Somehow. (caffeine and sweatshirts)

There will be some more yard stuff to be done this weekend, because next weekend we will be at the tower house on the lake having a great time with good friends.

Last night was the first really cold night, and I woke this morning sandwiched between a vice grip of animals. Trin and Ruby were pressed against my legs and Bobcat Greyskull was purring on my shoulder. I couldn’t move…mainly because I didn’t want to. But then my arm started to fall asleep and I had to interrupt their peaceful slumber. Not really. I moved, they didn’t.

Have a great weekend y’all.

gobble gobble

Me and the boys are outta here this afternoon.

I’ll be baking pies tonight and a turkey and assorted yummies tomorrow. I can’t wait! I love Thanksgiving. Football, Food, Fun, Friends, and Family. Oh and wine. Lots of wine…

Y’all send El Jefe some good vibes. I’m not sure he’s emotionally ready for the invasion… LOL

Wonder if Rader will help me bake again this year like he has in the past.

hello weekend. my how I’ve missed you.

Weekend plans = cleaning, rearranging some furniture, watching a movie or two, and hanging out with Birdrunner by her pool…there will possibly be some Beer-Rita consumption going on…possibly.

I’ve been missing Birdrunner. She’s accused me of moving to Saline county and abandoning her. This is completely untrue. It’s just that I’ve switched where I get my pedicures and I haven’t been able to go with her in a while. BUT I’m thinking maybe I can convince her to come along with me next time and meet Lola the Toe Girl. She’s pretty amazing.

The boys are going to the lake on Saturday with their daddy and some other friends. It sounds like a good time will be had by all. I am seriously looking forward to some down time. I’ve been going nonstop for 3 or more weeks, and it’s time for a break.

Plus, I’ve been plotting my new books and now it’s time to start tweaking the synopsis and writing! I’m actually eager to start writing…but it’s a super sekrit story. I will say it involves a mean step mother, lizards, faeiries and a parallel universe… oh and there’s royalty and a sorceror and some speedy guardian turtles. Or maybe I’m making all that up. OH wait! That’s what I do! Make stuff up!

Stay tuned!

Okay, here’s this week’s random iPhone picture. I figure it’s appropriate since I’ll be at the pool tommorrow!

Vitamin D

So we spent yesterday at the lake with the fam. It was a great day. My brother played Captain and I played Goddess and the kids just played. I always feel amazing after a good dose of Vitamin D!

Here’s a pic that sums up the day pretty well.
No we’re not having any fun at all, are we?

Of course, being on the lake just makes me long for some beach time. It wasn’t far from this time last year that I was frolicking in the sand and surf, soaking up all the Vitamin D I could. I’m so ready to do that again. Maybe I can squeeze some time in this summer…if the oil doesn’t manage to ruin it for everyone.

Dear BP,
You suck.
Love,
Melf

If I could be anywhere right now, it would be the Florida Keys. I’m actually thinking about going this year for Christmas because I’ve never been. Who wants to join me? This place looks nice

have things changed?

In the comments of my last post, Liz said:

I haven’t been to a high school football game since I was in high school. I too miss it, although my memories of the games include sneaking drinks in, chatting, walking off site to smoke, and checking out the 17 year old guys. Have things changed?

In a word? Nope.

But apparently I have.

It’s a bit strange being an adult at a high school function. I haven’t seen so much eye rolling and gum smacking in one place ever! I looked around for a 17 year old guy to make out with, but they were all already occupied in the with their own girlfriends. Darn.

The clicks are still around in full force. The junior high kids go off and nerd it up together. The senior high girls are all wearing too much make up and showing too much skin. Whatever happened to jeans and t-shirts at a football game? When did hoochie “skirts” become the in thing for a football game. Honey, when you sit down, we see your bidniz. K? And when you stumble down the bleachers and fall because you’ve had one too many “Cokes”, well, we can really see your bidniz. Put on a pair of pants. Hell, I’m not picky. Put on some panties! The kids don’t need an anatomy lesson just yet.

The senior high boys are all trying so hard to look nonchalant that they all end up looking constipated.

Pretty much, things haven’t changed at all.

Saturday was busy, busy for us. We got up and went to the park for a family run. Fishdog and Ian ran about 1.5 miles and Rader and I walked and ran a mile. We were getting ready to start our second trip around the track when a yellow jacket decided to attack. It got Rader on the arm, landed on his ear and I knocked it away. We ran toward the van, got about 10 ft. away from the original sting site, and that bitch yellow jacket caught up to Rader, landed on his shoulder blade and stung him again. Bitch had to die! Get my boy twice! Of course, you know how bad those things hurt and Rader did a good job of letting Saline County hear his wailing. After a while, he was okay. I was afraid he was gonna let the drama interfere with his soccer game that afternoon, but he manned up and managed to play a helluva game. The kids lost, but I was proud of the way Rader played.

Now the weekend is over, today we rest, hang out with some friends, and tomorrow we start all over. Soccer, cross-country, confirmation class, CYM Jr., working out…oh, and writing. Yeah. Gotta fit my job into my busy schedule!