I’m at FCR today talking about my ass. You know you wanna read all about my booty, so get yours on over there and check it out.
Happy Tuesday y’all!
Find me here
Reply
Tag Archives: fatchicks
Notes from the Universe
Sometimes the Universe knows exactly what a girl needs to hear…
The sad part, Melissa, is that they told you it’s wrong to be selfish, tacky to be vain, vulgar to be sexy, and wasteful to be rich.
The happy part is that they were just making all that up.
Probably just jealous of all you might do, be, and have. And afraid of all they might not.
Uh-oh… one of them is in trouble now, gotta bolt!
The Universe
Melissa, follow your heart and get your groove on because, no matter what anyone said, it’s never too late to have it all.
Thanks Universe. I think I will take your suggestion and run with it.
I’ve reported on my weight loss and other stuff over at FCR today. Go check it out and celebrate with me!
Tonight, Rader P. (#66 in your programs, #1 in your hearts) is playing at Benton. Wonder Foot Power…ACTIVATE!
Share this:
You can find me…
bringing sexy back
One day at a time. Man, why can’t cheese dip make me lose weight?
Bootcamp starts tonight. El Jefe thinks he should go to throw rocks at me, you know, for motivation. haha. I’m thinking I don’t really need the assistance.
I’m at FCR today, talking about the Little Rock Half Marathon.
I’m looking forward to adding to my medals…I’m hoping it’s made of cheese and awesome.
Share this:
2 unrelated topics
Yesterday, around 2:00, a Drunky McDrunkDrunk missed the curve going about 70 mph, did a General Lee ramping move over my driveway, and took out my giant (and beautiful) forsythia bush. I had been planning to trim it back, but…not this much.
He tried to assist me further with my landscaping by spreading my forsythia all over the yard.
He landed with a giant thud on my neighbors tree. Which is a good thing, because he was headed straight for a building.
He was being followed by his grandson who was trying to stop him from driving. Apparently, he ran out of booze and was headed to the County Line…about a mile from our house.
BTW, nobody was hurt. Except my forsythia….
In other, much more positive news, I’ve revived my old exercise blog: Fat Chicks Running. I signed up for a 5 week boot camp that starts tomorrow and I figure I’ll be doing a lot of kvetching while I bring the sexy back. Hope you’ll drop by and enjoy the show.
Share this:
today is FATastic.
Last year’s Mardi Gras party… photobomb courtesy of El Jefe. 🙂
Okay, so tomorrow everybody is going to talk about what they’re giving up for Lent. I don’t do Lent, though by the look of my dryer vent, I do have plenty of lint… That’s a rhyme and now I want a mint…Somebody please stop me before this becomes a detriment…
Ouch. Okay. Sorry.
Anyway, yeah, I don’t give anything up to prove anything to anyone. It ain’t how I roll. Mmmm. I’d really like to eat a buttery roll right now. It is Fat Tuesday after all.
Oh wait. I keep getting off track.
Tomorrow is the start of a new day for me. Now that my health bidness is over, and now that I actually seem to finally be feeling normal (for me anyway) again, I think it’s time to start back down my fitness road. So tomorrow morning, come Hell or highwater…I’m going to hit the trails at 5:15. I figure if I can do two early morning 45 min walk/runs and then fit in two more somewhere during the week, I will be good to go. Birdrunner and I have talked about doing a lunch walk during the week, so maybe we can start that next week. Either way, I miss how I felt when I was exercising and since I no longer have a valid excuse not to, then I guess it’s time I get off my Fat Tuesday Ass and get with it. I ordered a not-so-cheap big booby exercise harness bra today, I probably should get some use out of it. Next on my list, new shoes.
I think Ruby-Doo will really enjoy the early morning jaunts…if I can get her Fat Tuesday Ass out from under the woobie.
Share this:
friday miscellaneous
- The Watson’s house did NOT eat my hair dryer. This is very good news, because I like their house a whole lot.
- I woke this morning to the sounds of war with the excavation crew across this street blowing shit up like Bin Laden was still alive hiding in a bed of quartz.
- Bobcat is going to have to learn to use his teeth and claws for evil ON SOMEONE ELSE. He is biting the hand that feeds him. Soon he will be implanted permanently in a wall if he isn’t careful.
- I had fun looking through some old pics on my computer last night. I found this lovely item
This is me in 9th grade. I had the worst “jump” shot ever. Am I even off the ground? Also? The hair is pretty much an awesome mullet. Because you couldn’t play basketball in the 80s and not have a mullet. I am a walking cliche. Aren’t you glad you know me?
- I also found my fat pictures. The ones I took as a “Before” shot. HOLY SHIT. My eyes! They burn! These are never to be seen by another living human ever again. Wow. I may have a long way to go, but I sure have come a long damn way, that’s for certain.
- I’m so ready for the weekend. This has been a crazy week and I need some down time. And some John Deere time. He’s been missing me.
- It looks like it might rain, so here’s hoping…
Y’all have a great weekend. I plan to.
Share this:
Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?
I’m talking to you, Air Conditioner. Shape up or Ship Out!
And it sucks onions that the repair guy can’t get to me until Friday morning. Oh well… the heat index was only 110 yesterday, it’ll be FIIIIIINE.
Grrrr.
The good news is, today is Wine Wednesday and I’m not missing out this time. Me and Kim Cattrall Crawford have a hot date later. And everything will be Aaaaallllll Riiiiiiight.
I’m even wearing my cowboy boots today…so this picture is predicting the future.
In other news, I blogged at FCR about my wardrobe malfunction yesterday at the gym. All kinds of fun was had by all. Or at least by the 2 college boys who witnessed the incident…
Share this:
Operation Bootylicious 2011; episode 1
So y’all know I walked/ran a half marathon this past March, right? (I actually ran (ok “ran”) the last half of the marathon and walked the first half, which sounds retarded and backward, but honestly, the running was easier than the walking by then. dunno why)
ANYWAY
After the marathon, I kinda just stopped working out. And by “Kinda”, I mean, I totally stopped. Like I think I’ve walked twice since March. And I’m not even sure if I can count them because I think I went directly to Cantina Laredo after the walks and fell into a vat of cheese dip and could only be saved from sure death by 2 Antonio Banderas Margaritas. Which I’m pretty sure cancelled out the exercise completely.
I do give myself an A for effort though.
I’m actually a pretty fit “fatty.” I’ve been very successful on my weightloss journey (<– yes, I said journey. You’re welcome.) It started when I lived in Oxford. I had decided to try to lose 20 lbs a year until I was at my goal. And even though I haven’t done that exactly, I have lost 5 sizes, and that’s nothing to shake a stick at. Unless you just really wanna shake a stick.
So in 5 years, I’ve dropped 5 sizes and gained the ability to walk/run 13.1 miles. Not too shabby. But also not enough.
What happens is, I get pretty happy with how I look and feel and I just stop. I hit a milestone such as completing the half-marathon, I take a break…and it ends up being a permanent vacation.
And then I end up falling into several vats of cheese dip. Only to be saved by margaritas… And then I start feeling fat and gross again. Bleh. I don’t like feeling fat and gross. I’m pretty sure y’all don’t like looking at fat and gross.
So yesterday I hit the gym at lunch. Today I feel beat-the-fuck up. But who cares. That’s what Advil and booze sleep is for. Who knows, maybe my fitness routine will be fodder for some fun blogs, kinda like when I used to blog at Fat Chicks Running all the time… Maybe I’ll have a new cast of characters I can make fun of while I’m makin’ my bacon a little less fatty and a little more bootylicious.
Share this:
Team Melf…
I did it. I took the plunge. I bit the bullet. I *insert various other cliches*… I am out of my damn mind…
But I don’t care. I now have a goal and I’m gonna meet it.
What did I do? I signed up for the Little Rock 1/2 Marathon.
Yeah, we won’t even discuss how I haven’t run or walked much in the past 6 months. The less I think about that the better off I am… Sometimes denial can be a good thing.
If you’ll recall, I ran my very first 5K 2 years ago on my 40th birthday. I had never run a full race of any kind. Now I had walked them…but I wanted to run all the way. (not that you would mistake my ‘run’ a real run. because it isn’t. I really do think I walk faster than I run. LOL) And so, I did it. I met my goal and ran the whole race.
It seems I’ve roped a couple of other chicas in with me. Birdrunner and Lindy Lohan have both signed up as well. My friend Carbkiller (from FatChicksRunning.com where I rarely blog anymore because I’m lame) is coming in from Cali for the full! And rumor has it, El Jefe is thinking of doing the half as well. What’s this? The madness is spreading like a Zombie Virus! (speaking of zombies…OMG THE WALKING DEAD IS TEH AWESOME AND I CAN’T WAIT TO CATCH UP THIS WEEKEND!)
I’m not going to fool myself into thinking I’ll run the whole way. Hell, I may not run at all. It is 13.1 miles and I only have 3 months to prepare for it. But the thing is, I have a goal now. And I’m motivated and excited and ready to get back off my ass.
Who knows. Maybe one day I’ll actually attempt a full marathon like CK…or maybe I’ll just be happy to have completed the half and move on.
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 