Tag Archives: the kids

I’m late. Deal with it.

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If you haven’t figured it out yet, this has been a craptastic week, overflowing with craptastic goodies. BUT things are changing. Yep. They’re coming around to the good side again, I can feel it.

First of all, my darling Mac isn’t dead. Fishdog worked his Apple Magic on her, and she seems to be in fine working order again. I was afeared we had a fried hard drive, but according to all the tests, she seems to be A OKay. Must’ve been a corrupted file just messing with her goodness.

Secondly, I snuck in a drink last night with my BFF Jenn Christman. We only had 1 hour but we took full advantage of that hour with a margarita and lots of gossip. She got hair extensions and looks 10 years younger and now I’m thinking that maybe I need to invest in some of those…

THEN I hung out with the eldest last night. Was fun. He’s a hoot. Makes me laugh and we shared Double Stuf Oreos. And you know if Double Stuf Oreos are involved, it’s a good time.

Today I had lunch with my pal Laura at Cheers in the Heights. Adolfo took very good care of us, as usual.

And tonight…I’m making apple pie. I’m also planning on sparkling while I wear my flamingo apron. Maybe I’ll conjure up Matt Damon while I’m at it…

See? All is well.

What you guys got going on? Anything fun or exciting?

stuff and such and a giveaway!

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More great reviews for LOVE SUCKS! and also a give away…

Book Chic

Book Scout <=== pop over and comment on the review and you'll be entered in the drawing to win a signed copy of LOVE SUCKS!

So, onto the “stuff and such” portion of today’s blog.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted a do over? Yesterday started out fine. I was in a great mood. Had a great Sunday night. Other than being a little sleepy, I almost actually looking forward to the day ahead.

And then *it* happened.

I’m not exactly sure what *it* is, but I know that suddenly, the day just seemed to take a big ol’ dump on me. Somehow, someway, for some reason my good day turned to poo so by the time the boys and I got home, I was Mrs. Crankypants.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when Mrs. Crankypants takes over, things don’t ever seem to improve. I try to make Mrs. Cp go away, but she doesn’t. And then the boys start bickering and smart off to me, and then Ruby the Pug and Clementine the Tart get into it like cartoon cats and dogs, and then my full glass of wine (KIM CATTRAL CRAWFORD wine at that!) got knocked to floor…and shattered. And I still had to do dishes and get laundry going.

Thankfully, I had an unopened bottle of wine. I did my chores, poured me a lovely glass, and sat down to chill. Then I kicked Rader’s tail at some Uno while we watched LIE TO ME. (then he kicked mine, then I kicked his, then he kicked mine. We quit while we were Even)

I went to bed and slept like the dead. And this morning, I saw a beautiful sunrise while driving Rader to football practice. Today is gonna be a good day. I think I’ll have an Atomic Fireball to celebrate…

oh SNAP!

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Rader was told this week he will be the Center on the football team. (see the purple C? that’s my boy) He’s the dude who snaps the ball to the quarterback then does everything to stop the defense from getting through to the QB. As Ozzie Newsome says (Baltimore Ravens GM) “You need to have somebody who can neutralize that nose tackle. If you don’t, everything can get screwed up. Your running game won’t be effective and you’ll also have somebody in your quarterback’s face on every play.”

So instead of the Bend and Snap…my son will be doing the Snap and Block. I think it works, don’t you?

The coach is also talking to him about being on the Defensive Line as well. He’s pretty stoked about all this tackling stuff. I asked him why he didn’t wanna play a receiver and his answer was something like this: “Mom, I can snap the ball better than anyone on the team. I can block. But I can’t catch the ball to save my life.”

Which reminded me of a scene from one of my favorite movies of all time: The Replacements

NOT my finest moment

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Football. I can’t wait. Especially since my 12 year old will be playing this year. Yeah, I’m pretty stoked about it.

Last night, said 12 year old came home with his new mouth guard that I had to boil. So I did. And promptly forgot about it….

Um, yeah. Mother of the year. I got that blue ribbon in the bag.

In other news, I’m blogging again over at FCR because, well, the fluffy is taking over again. No more fat ass. I mean, I’ll always have a Big Butt (So What) but I don’t have to be so soft and fluffy…

The Godfadda

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So my BFF from college was here. Nick also happens to be Godfadda to da boys. And he hasn’t seen them in a while…so he was a bit shocked at the deep voices, furry lips, and massive shoe sizes.

They, of course, didn’t act like they were teens when they saw their Uncle Nick. Not that they are supposed to….

We were joined by my high school BFF and after the boys were finished pummeling Nick, the three of us went out. And after a pre-dinner cocktail at Wine By the Glass, I took them to SO Restaurant (where I enjoy Wine Wednesdays) and we had a wonderful dinner and we were properly attended by the amazingly handsome waitstaff. It was a great night, though it ended on a bit of a sour note because Jen’s car was vandalized while we were out. There really is no shortage of a-holes in this world, is there?
In other fun news, Angry Patrick blogged about my books this morning. Gotta love that. 🙂 I especially love that he included me in with a post about The Bieb. *koff*

this weekend

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I’m making lasagna tonight. Jealous? 4 cheese and spinach. My mouth is already watering…

Tomorrow, I’ll be at the lake with the boys–tooling around in the party barge for the afternoon. I can’t wait.

Sunday I’ll be doing yard work. Hopefully it won’t be 1 million billion trillion degrees outside. Unfortunately I’ve been putting off mowing the backyard…and now it’s a jungle out there. Anyone have a bush hog I can borrow?

You guys got plans this weekend?

oh humpday, my humpday!

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Team BITE ME! took 2nd place last night at Trivia Night…and we have a $25 gift certificate to show for it. We didn’t miss a single question until half-time, where we only managed to get 3 of the 6 states who’s captiol cities start with the letter C. I will go on record right now to say that I argued til I was blue in the face that Chattanooga was NOT the capital of TN. (NASHVILLE! Duh!!) but I was outvoted. Team Swhartz beat us by 2 lousy points. *grumble grumble*

I also want to give props to my son Ian for knowing without a doubt that Gregor Mendel is known for his study of the inheritance of certain traits in pea plants. I’m very proud to know that he actually does listen in Biology. (Geometery is another story…)

I’m having a super cute day today. I think it’s the dress. Every time I wear my green dress, I feel all sparkly. I think I need to go somewhere this afternoon. I don’t wanna waste all this cute just at work.

Next Wednesday is Sex and the City day for me and some of my girlfriends. One of the husbands has rented us a limo and is going to take us where ever we want to go before and after the movie. This way we can drink our cosmos in style and not have to take a cab. He’s the bestest ever.

Well, that about wraps up the humpday chronicles. Anything going on in your neck of the woods?

my very own Zoolander

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My youngest child…he has “ham” down pat. (that’s my niece in the background dancing in the rain)

And my oldest has “bored teen” down pat

Tonight is trivia night! Team BITE ME! is gearing up for victory!

meet Clementine…

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First of all, thanks for your continued patience with my blog glitches. Fishdog is working tirelessly trying to fix what is wrong. It’s a weird glitch but it looks like it’s been fixed…at least for now.

So guess what found me this weekend? A sweet little pregnant cat. Her name is Clementine. And she was most likely dumped in my yard when her other people discovered she was pregnant. Never have understood abandoning teens in a time when they need adults the most…but anyway.


She is very sweet and needy. If I go outside, she’s at my feet. Like a puppy. She and Ruby the Pug are not BFFs yet, but there is hope. She did a full on Ninja move in the yard the other day. Ran full speed like a road runner on her back legs with her paws and claws extended out front. Ruby is not a fan of Clementine the Calico Ninja…but she wants to friends so badly so she doesn’t give it. She just uncurls her little pug tail and approaches the Ninja Cat with proper reverence. Sometimes it works…sometimes it doesn’t.
After the 2nd night with us, Clementine the Calico Ninja saw Ruby sleeping on the top of the sofa. She wanted to check out the snoring dog so she walked right up to her, and put her paw on Ruby’s back for a couple of seconds. Then walked away and slept on the back of the loveseat.
So there’s hope.
The boys and I went to see Iron Man 2 this weekend. Fantastic! Highly recommend it. Very witty and entertaining.
Did you do anything special for Mother’s Day? Like pick up stray pregnant teen kitties who like ninja moves?

big green tractor

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No, I’m not talking about Jason Aldean’s song…I’m talking about my youngest kid takin’ care of the yard business last night.

In other country music news and oddities, I had to laugh out loud when Jenn Christman, et al were discussing Luke Bryan’s song Rain is a Good Thing (or the Corn Whiskey song as I like to call it.)

Here’s a little taste of the yummy goodness:

Rain makes corn
Corn makes whiskey
Whiskey makes my baby
Feel a little frisky!

Oh yes. THIS is why I listen to country music because seriously, no other genre of music can turn a ride on a big green tracto into a love song or connect the dots between rain making corn and getting frisky…

Speaking of frisky…it’s Thursday…so you know what that means, right? Girls night out!! Watch out Little Rock…