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Monthly Archives: January 2009
To my 2nd born…
Happy Birthday Rader!
Dear Rader,
It’s hard to believe that 11 years ago yesterday, I went to work having contractions and I had them all day. But I ignored them because frankly, you weren’t due for 3.5 more weeks. And I had been at a superbowl party the night before, so I figured it was just left over excitement from the game. Everyone had teased me that I was going to go into labor, but I laughed in their general direction.
So when I started having contractions, I wrote it off. They weren’t bad. And I had those stupid Braxton-Hicks things all the time, so why rush to the hospital unnecessarily?
By 10:00 that night, I was changing my tune. I told your daddy it was time to go. Those stupid “left over excitements” from the game were now coming in at three minutes apart. Now I was not going to have you at home, without medication. I’m sorry to say, your momma believes whole-heartily in better living through chemicals. Or in this case, better delivery through chemicals. So off to the hospital we went.
Yup, the contractions were real and they were coming in steadily–until 4 a.m. when they stopped. Um, not okay. I was hooked up, IV’d and ready to go, but apparently you had changed your mind. Doc gave me the option to get some drugs and force you out or go home and come back later. Yeah, I wasn’t going anywhere…sorry kid, it was time.
You were born ten hours or so later. It was a good delivery. (I’m pretty sure I didn’t think that at the time) Even though you were 3.5 weeks early, you weighed 8lbs 6oz. You looked like a three month old compared to your brother who was 3.5 weeks early and weighed 5lbs and some change.
You came out hungry and I don’t think you’ve stopped eating since. You have always loved food. Love trying new things and love cooking. Maybe you’ll be a chef one day on the Food Network.
My favorite thing about you is your sense of humor. Not only do you laugh a lot, you crack yourself up. (and since I do that to myself daily, I have to believe you inherited that from me.) You love jokes, you have such a keen mind and are so witty that sometimes it’s hard for me to believe you’re just now 11 years old. Sometimes you seem much older. Here are just a few examples of my favorite Rader stories from the past:
But every night when you hug me before bed, I get a glimpse of the sweet boy who used to curl up in my arms with his favorite book, asking me to read it over and over and over. I am the luckiest Mom in the world to have you. Happy Birthday, Monkey.
Love,
Momma
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are you a burrower?
When I sleep, I tend to flip to my stomach, kick a leg up, and burrow under a pillow. Actually, sometimes I can’t go to sleep if I don’t have a pillow over my head. (Which is really ironic since one of my irrational fears is suffocating.)
I don’t know why I do this. I used to think it started when I got married and Fishdog watched a lot of TV in bed and I would cover my head to block out the light/sound. But I think that’s just when I started noticing myself doing it.
What’s even funnier? Both of my kids are burrowers.
Above is Rader. Yes, he’s buried in there. Sound asleep.
Below is Ian. This is how I find him every morning. He sleeps with a minimum of 3 pillows and he digs in like he’s hibernating for the winter.
So, is sleeping style inherited? Is there some weird recessive gene for burrowing. Should I get out my Punnett Square and start playing?Hmmm. Would Burrowing be a dominant trait since both boys are burrowers? Fishdog definitely isn’t a burrower, but he could be a ‘burrower’ gene carrier. Crap, I can’t remember. I do know that genetics was about the only part of science I enjoyed. It must’ve been if I could remember Punnett Square.
Did you inherit anything quirky from your folks or did your kids inherit something quirky from you? And do you think it was nature or nurture that caused it?
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I see you…
I had lots of traffic yesterday. You guys must really like reading about dry humping. Of course, who am I kidding? Everyone likes to read about dry humping! And making out in broad daylight!
I would also like to welcome the 9 new readers who googled ‘Melissa Francis nude, naked, and hot.’ I hope you found what you were looking for. Oh wait, you didn’t, but I hope you liked what you found anyway.
And to the person who googled MILF, found my site, then searched my site with terms like ‘jumping MILF’s bones’ and ‘MILF wanted’ and ‘how to seduce a MILF’ let first say, welcome. Then let me tell you, if you’re unsure how to seduce a MILF, I’ll be holding a workshop soon, so stay tuned. Okay, that’s totally a lie. If you don’t know how to seduce a MILF then I can’t help ya buddy.
Yesterday was an “airquote” snow day here in Little Rock. I “airquote” because there was no snow. There was barely any ice. It had all melted by 8:00 and the kids could easily have gone to school. But Little Rock Schools wanted to be preemptive, so they canceled school because the weather dudes were predicted Global Freezing by 1:00 and that we’d be covered in ice ad snow this morning.
Um. Not. So. Much.
It was cold yesterday so I spent the day wrapped up in my Scooby-Doo comfortor and a skull cap. A friend of mine is in LA this week, so I took a pic of myself in my hat and sent it with the message ‘Enjoy the warm weather. I’m freezing.’ (I couldn’t get the Red-Eye correction tool to work, so please ignore my inner demon)
Do you know what I got in return?
‘Don’t worry, I will.’
Nice. Thanks for crushing what was left of my spirit there pal. Good thing I’m so awesome that I can overcome even the meanest of mean.
Hope y’all had a good Tuesday. Back to writing today. I struggled at first, but wound up with a good number of pages again yesterday. This book might get done afterall!
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can’t get enough of your love babe
Yesterday’s writing was much more successful. It was almost the sonic boom of writing. I felt the earth move, that’s for sure. Today is going to be a challenge. Schools are closed, so I have to deal with a houseful of people. The earth may be moving today, but in a ‘opening up and swallowing the kids’ kinda way.
Speaking of the earth moving…
I took the boys to meet their grandmother at the movie on Sunday. We got there a little early, so I parked and we just waited in the car. I had my crackberry, so I was happy as a clam texting my friend and trying to take incriminating pics of the boys so I can embarrass them on Facebook. I love being a mom.
After a few minutes, Ian says, “Mom, they’re totally making out over there.” I figured he was just trying to divert me from my picture taking quest, but then one look at his pink ears and open mouth and I realized he was telling the truth.
So I glance at the car next to me and HOLY VOYEUR BATMAN! were they making out! They had laid the passenger seat all the way down and the girl was laid all the way out on the dude. (Thought it was two girls at first. Dude had some long hair, but no. Boy and girl.)
They weren’t out of high school, but were probably both 16. The total abandon they had while dry humping amazed me. I’ll admit, I watched for a while, completely forgetting my kids were in the car. (There goes Mother of the Year again. Dammit!) But I was fascinated (and yeah, I like to watch I was watching for research! Sue me.) It was broad damn daylight. They weren’t even parked in the back of the lot…it was the middle row, maybe the 4th slot. There were cars all around us. If they had wanted privacy, they would’ve gone somewhere else. Or waited til dark.
Listen, I’ll admit to some parking love during the early years. It’s fun. And naughty. But even I wasn’t brave enough to just park in the middle of a busy day time parking lot and work my way to 2nd base.
Ian tried to pretend not to watch, that was kinda funny. Once they laid the seat down, he couldn’t see anything from where he was sitting, but I had a bird’s eye view. So when the girl slipped her shirt off, I got a really good look at her pretty purple lace bra. (It was a dark purple, almost eggplant) And I got another really good look as the boy’s nervous hand moved from her shoulder, to under her strap, to down…
And then I started the car and drove away. Because you know, there’s only so much watching a girl can do (in the name of research of course) with her kids in the car. And even though I know the kids couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t in good conscience stay there any longer (unfortunately). So I dropped them off with my mom and drove back to my spot to finish watching home. I will admit to being curious. Did he get her bra off? In the middle of a busy parking lot? In broad daylight?
What say you?
In honor of our young horny couple, I offer you Barry White, dressed in awesome.
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that sound you heard?
It was not the ‘sonic boom of writing’ like I predicted yesterday. No, it was more like a sonic beep. I kept having to stop for research. And this time, ‘research’ is not a code word for more vodka. (I’m cutting down to 1 day a week until race day. Or at least that’s the plan..) This time, research means research. I had to look up some ancient Celtic symbols, do some important tree research, and I had to figure out where to hide a certain thing in my book. That took some major Winnie the Pooh thinking on my part.
Sometimes writing sucks. Sometimes it’s a big turn on, and sometimes, it’s a big let down. I’m ready for my writing to turn me on again. Honestly, right now, I feel like I’m on a date with a guy who looks good on the outside, but something isn’t quite right with him. So I keep making eyes at the guy across the restaurant (new book idea), because he looks really good to me, and his smile is turning me to goo, and I can picture his hands lifting up my shirt on my face, and his dark eyes staring into mine and all I want is to sigh into him and kick the dude at my table to the curb for being so stupid and try something new.
However, me and my date might be able to come to an understanding pretty shortly. I made a bit of a breakthrough yesterday with my hard earned pages, so I’m thinking my date is about to start showing me who he really is on his own instead of making me work for it. He better hurry up because I have a very short attention span and the guy across the restaurant is looking really, really good right now.
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*yawn*
Writing yesterday was pseudo successful. I fell short of my goal pages for the day, but I also wound up with a few unscheduled hours being taken away from me. Which is life. I knew there would be about 3 hours I couldn’t write, it wound up being about 6 by the end of the day.
So I’m up at the ass crack of dawn today. I just brewed my coffee, checked my emails, and doing this here little blog for you guys (so selfless) then I’m hitting it. I will take a break for a run or to go to the gym (depends on how cold it is today) but other than that, my butt will be firmly planted in my chair, my hands will be on the keyboard, and I will be a writing machine. It will be amazing. The boom you’ll hear will be me, breaking the sound barrier.
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date weekend
I have a date with my computer this weekend. We’re going to be spending a lot of QT together, plotting, storytelling, and maybe even getting on each others’ nerves a bit. But it must be done. So I’m firing up my iTunes, sticking in my headphones and hitting the keyboard. If my computer cooperates, I might even let him go to second base. (especially if iTunes sets the mood by playing some Barry White…)
In the mean time, HobbitGrrl has offered some fantastic marathon advice for n00bs over at FCR. Really great advice. Now I feel at least somewhat prepared for that very scary event, which is only 1 month, 2 weeks, and 5 days away. Not that I’m counting.
If you haven’t been keeping up with my fitness status over at FCR, I’m down 13 lbs, have lost 1 full size, and am now able to run 2 miles on pavement without stopping. Still a long way from 6 but hey, I’ll get there. It’s sure a lot better than the struggling I was doing over my first 60 second run a few months ago. 🙂 Also, I’m finally to the point that I actually want to go workout. This is a new thing for me…I missed a week to let my foot heal and I was really cranky. (I know, know! Who am I and what have I done with the real Mel?) Don’t worry, the real Mel is fine. She’s off on some island with a gaggle of red-heads servicing her every need…
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music, music, I hear music!
Before we get to my regularly scheduled blog below, I wanted to let y’all know my BFF and critique partner is blogging about how she came up with her Bunco series idea and sold it. Pop over (after you read my blog, of course) and check it out!
Now on to our regularly scheduled blog…
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This morning, I woke up singing Kokomo.
Does this happen to anyone other than me?
I wake up EVERY morning singing a song. Rarely is it a song I listened to during the day before or one that I go to bed singing. It’s always some random song that pops into my head as I’m getting out of bed. Trust me, I don’t sing Kokomo. Ever. Except when it pops into my head in the mornings.
I’ve noticed this phenomenon a lot lately and I’ve wondered WTF?
Tuesday when I woke singing Springsteen’s Land of Hope and Dreams, I didn’t think anything about it. That made total sense. Actually, my mind drifted between that song and another Springsteen song (Better Days) all day. My subconscious was there for me all day Tuesday.
But really, when I woke Wednesday singing Jessie’s Girl and I woke yesterdasy singing I Touch Myself (actually, I wake up singing that one quite a bit…) I wondered if I really WANT to know what my subconscious is thinking.
Other songs I’ve recently woken up to:
- Witchy Woman (okay, I get this)
- Gold Digger (yeah, I’m not even kidding)
- Sweet Home Alabama (um?)
- So Fresh, So Clean (okay, I do sing this one after I shower. Can’t help myself.)
- Turning Japanese
- Ain’t Missing You (Dude, I do love me some John Waite)
- Where It’s At? (I got, two turntables and a microphone)
- Controversy (yeah, Prince. Old Skool Prince. I did love that album in high school)
So there you go. Mel’s personal wake up playlist. It’s probably a good thing I don’t have theme music that follows me everywhere I go…
And today from The Universe:
Baby steps spark miracles, Melissa.
Miracles do not spark baby steps.
Ungawa,
The Universe
Damn skippy, U.
So, if y’all had a theme song, what would it be? Or even better, what would your playlist be? Happy Friday y’all!
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a mish mash
First of all, I’m back to blogging over at FCR. I took a week off due to a pain in my foot. The pain is still there, but it’s better. Yesterday I bought new shoes and it was quite the experience. If you get a chance, pop over and read about it. Sometimes I’m kinda funny. It’s true.
Speaking of funny, is it weird that almost everyday somebody tells me that I’m funny? I mean, I know I have a good sense of humor and I know I crack myself up on a daily basis, but really am I that funny? Or does funny mean something else to these folks? Are they calling me ironic? (Okay, that would be kinda funny) Maybe they’re leaving out a word. “Mel you _______ funny.” (It’s Mad Libs Time! insert verb) smell, run, walk, look, need, want, crave, talk, sound, mother, write… The possibilities are endless.
Rapid topic change:
Have you ever had one of those days that you know you must look really good because of the way people look at you? Yesterday was one of those days for me. Seriously, was almost disconcerting. Every woman complimented something about my outfit and most of the men did that eye thing. Ladies, you know that eye thing I’m talking about don’t you? The one that men think we don’t see when they do it? It’s an eye flit of sorts and it’s so funny cuz they think they’re being so subtle. Especially when they like what they see and their ears turn red. Or they cock a brow. Or they smile with a different kinda smile…
Dear [most] Men,
You’re about as subtle as a dog with a pork rib. Stop that.
Yours Truly,
Mel
Rapid topic change:
Last night, I was all primed to watch the season premiere of LOST. I need my Sawyer, Desmond, and Sayid fix in a major way. But do you know what my local dumbass, good-for-nothing, two-timing ABC station did? They preempted LOST for the Auburn/Kentucky basketball game! Listen, I love me some SEC sports, but you don’t preempt the season premiere of LOST for a freaking NON-LOCAL sporting event. Fishdog has encouraged me to write a letter. I’ve had some letter writing success in the past, but I don’t really see the purpose this time. It’s not like they can undo yesterday’s damage. Sigh.
Okay, enough for now. Y’all have a great day, and I’ll see you this afternoon. No LOST SPOILERS! Talk amongst yourselves and when I get home from work, I’ll be sure to play.
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 