Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

bad news; good news

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The bad new is, the stupid weather people are predicting more stupid snow tomorrow night and Wednesday. Like 6-10 inches of stupid snow, apparently.

And if you haven’t figured it out yet, I think that’s stupid. No me gusta.

There is some good news though. Saturday it is going to be sunny and in the 50s…which is perfect weather for the horse races!

I haven’t been this year yet, which is highly unusual. This is the first year in probably 10 or more that I didn’t get to do opening day. (which was delayed a day due to freaking weather…) But this weekend, we will be going with friends…and it will be El Jefe’s first time.

I love a horse race virgin. I’m planning a sacrifice. Possibly involving chickens and unicorns. The horse racing gods will be pleased. They love unicorns.

I’m planning to power through this freaking week by pretending the snow doesn’t exist and hoping the weather dudes are wrong. And then I will point and laugh at them gleefully.

Here’s some pics from last year’s trips to Oaklawn. I really can’t wait for us to hang with our friends, drink some really good beer and do a little gambling.


In other news, I started a new project this weekend. I’m not sure if it’s going to be something I actually pursue as a book, but it really felt good to write again!

weather smeather.

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I know Phil saw his shadow and that he promises we’re getting an early spring, but I’m totally not buying it right now.

C’mon spring. This girl is ready for some lake and her upcoming girls’ weekend at the beach!

humor and my awesome kids.

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Sometimes I’m funny. This is a true story. I’m not even making it up. I can sometimes make people laugh.

And sometimes I only make myself laugh. But seriously, if I don’t make myself laugh, who will?

This morning, I made both boys laugh until my oldest asked me to stop because he was gonna have an accident and he wasn’t talking about pee.
I told him that would be a problem for me because my love stopped at teenage poop. There. I said it. I put a condition on my love for my children and that condition is poo.

This did not help the laughter situation at all, btw. But he managed to control his guts, which is good because I totally would have put him out of the car with $10 and said, “Good luck with that.” (ok, maybe a slight exaggeration as there is currently no cash in my wallet. Sorry kid.)

Anyway, I’m just glad I can crack my kids up. I figure this will go a long way in the future therapy that I will be paying for. At least they can laugh at how screwed up I made them.

I had another, almost perfect moment with my youngest this week. We were getting our geek on at the Science Fair. When it was over, we had to brave the bitter, 40 mph winds to the car which was almost 2 blocks away. In a burst of simultaneous awesome, we started singing TALK DIRTY TO ME by Poison (it had been on the radio earlier). So there I am, with my 13 year old son, racing across middle school campus belting out an 80s hairband classic. In the midst of this musical moment, a couple of girls passed us and yelled “Hey Rader’s Mom!” and I stopped singing long enough to yell “Hey strange girls I don’t know!” and then we continued on.

Yes, I am a very lucky momma. If there’s one thing I’ve ever done right in my life, it’s my awesome kids. Even if I have effed them up a bit…

oh yeah. Phil is my new hero.

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This is me now:

This is where I wanna be:

Calgon El Jefe…take me awaaaaaaay! 🙂

You know I would rock that hat and a hammock. I know you know it…

It was 16 degrees this morning. That’s crazy cold. But at least we’re not buried under 2 feet plus of snow.

So I’d like to take a moment to give a hearty shout out to Punxsutawney Phil for predicting an early spring this year. You sir, are a king among rodents. Can we go ahead and start that early spring tomorrow?

thunder! lightnin’! the way you love me is frightenin’…

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Woke this morning to a major thunderstorm. I pulled the covers to my chin and snuggled with the pug until the last moment possible.

Damn I hate being an adult and doing responsible things like getting out of bed and parenting and stuff.

The kids were hoping we were gonna be in the ice, ice baby part of the state, so they were sad when I began the early morning rise and shine wrangling. They both decided that soccer rules should apply to school. If lightning strikes within X number of miles to the school, school should be canceled.

Sorry boys. But nice try.

Can I take a moment here to complain about people who don’t know how to drive when the rain is coming down in sheets and the visibility is in the negatives? THE RAIN CAN SEE US BUT WE CAN’T SEE ANYTHING SO PLEASE STOP DRIVING 110 MPH AND CUTTING IN FRONT OF ME THEN STOPPING ON A DIME! And please, please stop tailgating. Oh, just get off the damn road, everyone. /rant.

This is gonna be one of those weird Arkansas days. It was 55 and storming this morning. Temps are gonna drop all day and we have the possibility of snow and ice tonight with a low of 21. That’s just crazy talk. The only thing that will make the snow/ice thing ok for me is if it’s THUNDER SNOW! I experienced THUNDER SNOW once with my friend Jen when we were in KC visiting Nick. For these two southern girls, it was awesome. And actually a little freaky. But awesome.

I want more THUNDER SNOW.

Am thinking that might need to be someone’s wrasslin’ name.

In honor of today’s stormy weather, I’m gonna post one of my favorite pics that I took last year. The kids and I were at the Travelers baseball game and a storm moved in. We stayed (because they discounted the beer…) and I took this awesome shot. I’m so ready for spring and more time in the beer garden at Dickey Stephens Park.

bullets of awesome

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  • William Shatner is doing another album and he teamed up with Zakk Wylde to cover Iron Man. Be still my heart.

  • My kid turned 13 yesterday. He had a nerdsplosion with his buddies over the weekend. Like a bad onion, the nerd still lingers in the air, even after everyone went home.

  • Saw my nieces yesterday when they popped over for pizza and birthday cake. Miss my girls. Don’t see them enough these days.

  • Birdrunner and I did the Death Valley Happy Fun-Time walk on Saturday but we were rained out yesterday. Hoping the rain stays away today so we can get our groove on.

  • I’m totally thinking of doing a Warrior Dash. Dude, it’s fire, mud and BEER. Epic.

  • The terrorists kittehs spent the beautiful weekend outside and now they are addicted to hunting leaves, bugs, and sunshine. My tee-tiny little house is grateful. Now to build kitteh doors…

  • My friend Dee’s horse placed 3rd yesterday in its first long race at Oaklawn. We’re hoping he’s running the weekend of the 12th when we’ll all be there.

  • I finally cleaned my house…except for my room which has 3 baskets of laundry and an unpacked suitcase. Sigh. It will never unpack itself, I know. But I keep waiting…

  • I’m down 8 lbs. This makes me happy. I’m glad I’m back on the stick.

  • I want pie.

Bill does Cee Lo Green’s F*** You

That about sums it up. It was an absolutely gorgeous 77 degrees on Saturday. I soaked up all the sunshine I could manage. Unfortunately, Mother Nature is intent on being a big ol’ tease and we’re gonna have highs in the 20s and 30s later this week. That sucks. I’m so ready for spring. Also, THE MONTH OF MEL is just around the corner. I’m planning a new tattoo to celebrate…

Hope ya’ll had a great weekend!

happy happy joy joy

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THIS IS HOW HAPPY I AM THAT THE SUN IS OUT AND IT IS WARM AND I WILL GLOW AND SPARKLE AND JUMP ON THE TRAMPOLINE TO CELEBRATE!

Birdrunner and I will be doing our death march HAPPY-FUNTIME WALK today at lunch and I totally cannot wait! It’s gorgeous today–the high is supposed to be in the 60s and I’m already purring like a kitteh as my skin tingles from being kissed by my favorite round yellow thing in the sky.

IT IS THE SUN AND IT IS WORSHIPPING ME I AM WORSHIPPING IT AS APPROPRIATE…

(hey you! yes you…I see you trying to take a peek up my dress… don’tStop it, I say!)

Oh my. I’m feeling slightly manic. I think I’m overdosing on rays of sun. Is that possible? Or do I just need to cut back on the caffiene? I suppose I should eat something, that might help.

I think I just need to jump on the trampoline a little longer…

Can you tell I’m so over this damn winter and ready for summer? I need to get my Bain de Soileil (for the San Tropez tan) on! (Hey, at least I use the kind with sunscreen now. Back in the day *ahem* the 80s it was baby oil with iodine. I was a daring little thing, huh?)

Dear Moutain Harbor, Ouachita Lake,

I cannot wait to pick up our love affair where we left off last summer. I hope you’re ready for lots of skintimate time with me. It’s gonna be wonderful. The party barge is ready and waiting. As am I.

Love,
Melf

Hope you guys have a great weekend. My youngest turns 13 on Sunday. No, I’m not choked up by that at all…

snuff

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I’ve told you guys before that sometimes I wake with a song in my head. Not too long ago, it was Delta Dawn (I know right?), one time last year it was I’m Not Lisa from 1975 (click the link for the best ear worm ever!) Recently it’s been Pink’s Raise Your Glass. Partly because I love that song and partly because it’s being played constantly right now.

But today, I woke to one of my favorite Slipknot songs. And here’s the video. It’s super creepy and awesome. The song itself is haunting

Snuff

midnight train

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No, I’m not talking about taking the Midnight Train to Georgia. I’m talking about eating the Midnight Train plate at Gladys Knight’s and Ron Winan’s Chicken & Waffles while in Georgia.

Okay Internetz, I can admit to you, and ONLY you, that I might have been slightly hungover on Sunday morning after the baby shower/house party throw down. We pretty much partied like it was our job. So when we woke the next morning we knew we needed some fantastic hangover food.

And nobody wanted Taco Bell. (well, except for me. Burrito Supreme with extra sour cream, nachos with extra cheese and a ginormous Mountain Dew was my college hangover cure)

We had discussed chicken and waffles the day before at brunch so we decided that was the place to be.

And it was. We got there when it opened at 11:00 and had no problems getting a table. 20 minutes later, people were lined up in the cold waiting for their turn.

When they brought me my platter of goodness, I understood why people were waiting…
Oh. Em. Gee. It was delish. And yes, it was the perfect hangover cure. (Though I wish I had ordered some bacon, too. haha)

The only thing I would have changed was the “fresh buttery taste” spread they served with the waffles. It seriously said 48% vegetable oil; 4% sweet butter cream. Hmmmm. Not sure I’m okay with that. Thankfully the waffle was so damn good it didn’t need butter. Just a touch of syrup and I was good to go.

So if you ever get a chance to go to Chicken & Waffles…I highly recommend it.

And now for your chicken and waffle history lesson:

According to Gladys’ and Ron’s website Chicken and Waffles was born in Harlem, New York in the 1930’s. Wells Supper Club served many celebrities as they hung out in the late night hours. Many of them could not decide if they wanted breakfast or dinner-Wells gave them both!

Now you know…(and knowing is half the battle.)