Tag Archives: misc.

a mish mash of mel

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Trivia Night at Touchdown Sally’s:

Team BITE ME! was again victorious! Together, this motley crew could rule the world of useless knowledge.

The kids:

Ian was wounded in battle yesterday during PE. His ankle was as big as his head for a little while…but according to fishdog, he seemed better this morning. He’s hobbling still but he’ll survive.

Rader has a chess tournament this weekend. I love my kid and would do anything for him, but spending all day watching these kids play chess is about as much fun as watching paint dry.

Books:

Pepper Jack is available at Amazon in hardcover, paperback and Kindle and it was written by friend of mine and fellow Arkansan, Jon Pendergrass. I’m downloading it to Rader’s Kindle today…shhhhh don’t tell him the reason he got a Kindle was so that I could use it!!

Jackson Pritchard is a wanted man. Wanted by his clients, by an ex-lover, by a new love interest…and now by the police for questioning. His clients have begun to turn up dead.
Jessica Young wants to live her own life for a change. Now that her second life is ready to begin, her path crosses Jackson’s. Follow them across the country and further as their adventures culminate in an explosive and surprise ending. Pepper Jack is a thriller much in the style of James Patterson. Set predominantly in Memphis, it is filled with rich Southern character and characters.

Weird stuff:
I’ve had 2 nose bleeds in 2 days. I hope this isn’t a direct result of the shelf incident. Phil the Lump is now Phil the Light Bruise. I’m thinking the nose bleeding thing is just my sinuses. Still, it sucks.

The skeeviest thing on earth happened to me yesterday. I’m not going to talk about details but I will say that an offer was made that I couldn’t decline quickly enough. And then I wanted to take a shower–in bleach.

Miscellaneous (did I spell that correctly? I always mess that up…)

I’m thinking of making my own laundry detergent. Anyone out there ever done it before? What did you think? At $.02 a load, I’m thinking it’s worth a try….

• 4 cups of water.
• 1/3 bar of cheap soap, grated.
• 1/2 cup washing soda (not baking soda).
• 1/2 cup of Borax (20 Mule Team).
• 5-gallon bucket for mixing.
• 3 gallons of water.

First, mix the grated soap in a saucepan with 4 cups of water, and heat on low until the soap is completely dissolved. Add hot water/soap mixture to 3 gallons of water in the 5-gallon bucket, stir in the washing soda and Borax, and continue stirring until thickened. Let the mix sit for 24 hours, and voila! Homemade laundry detergent.

bring it back!

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I’m a citrusy-sweets girl. I prefer lemon over chocolate any day. Any time. Anyhow. (as a matter of fact, I can’t quite kill a craving for a lemon cupcake with lots of lemon frosting…)

That said, there was one wonderful chocolate confection from my childhood that would probably have me choosing chocolate over lemon…The Marathon Bar.

It was a long chocolate covered caramel braid. It was the funnest candy bar on earth to eat because you could take your chewy-gooey time with it if you wanted OR you could try to wad the whole thing up and stuff it in your mouth and see how long it took you to eat it. (not that I would ever do such a thing. Nope not me. I’m nothing but proper)

Best candy bar ever.

Apparently Cadbury has come up with a replacement called the Curly-Wurly but it can only be found in the UK and Canada.

Why am I being denied this morsel of tasty goodness? Is it because I have publicly denounced chocolate in favor of lemon? Are the chocolate faeries punishing me? Are they waiting until I take back my love for lemony treats before they reward me with the chocolate-caramel braid of love?

Well sorry to disappoint you, Chocolate Fae. I’m sticking to my gums guns. Lemon is better than chocolate. But if you bring back the Marathon Bar, I promise to rethink my position.

Now where’s my cupcake?

a head full of useless knowledge…but is it really useless?

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Tuesday nights have turned into one of my favorite nights of the week. (Not sure it will ever surpass Girls Night Out on Thursdays, but it’s a very close 2nd)

What started out as a one-time gig has turned into a weekly occurrence. Trivia Night is held at Touchdown Sally’s in Benton every Tuesday night. It’s put on by Challenge Entertainment of Little Rock and the host is Brent Jackson (he does a bang up job, btw). Last night’s trivia topics were movies, television, sports, animals, music, cartoon theme songs, US history, recent events, celebrities, weather, politics, solar system, technology, advertising and state capitals! Halftime category: US Geography Wager of Death category: Chart Toppers

Our team name is BITE ME! (gee, wonder why we chose that name? could it be that maybe someone one the team wrote a book titled BITE ME!?) And our first week, we kinda sucked it up. Like big time. But we started late and didn’t know all the rules.

Now, we’re in the top three and after our big win last night (2nd win overall) we might be #1. If not, we’re close…very, very close!

My oldest kid has been joining us and last week, Cmac brought his giant of a kid (14 years old and 6’2! Not even kidding) and last night, All-Caps Kristal brought her kid to join us. And let me just tell you, the kids helped out. I never would’ve known the capitol of Pennsylvania was Harrisburg without Kristal’s kid Hunter! And last week, both Dylan and Ian answered a couple of questions that we weren’t sure of. It was awesome!

If Live Team Trivia is offered at a bar/restaurant near you, I highly suggest you give it a try. Team BITE ME! is hoping to play for the $10,000 prize! How awesome would that be, Internet?

Pretty damn awesome.

a Mel by any other name would smell as sweet…

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So let’s talk about nicknames. I’m a big fan. I give my friends nicknames all the time and once I say it and it fits, it sticks. And apparently, the same happens to me because I have lots of nicknames. Some of them make sense, some…not so much.

My daddy has always called me Lissa Jane. Now, I love this name, but Jane is not my middle name. (I totally wish it were though) Not sure why daddy started calling me Lissa Jane but it stuck. And at 41 when he’s still using it. (when he’s not calling me ‘gal’)

In 6th grade I became known as French Fry because that’s all I would eat for lunch. Thankfully not long after that, my coach started calling me Mel Mac which turned to Mel or Mac. I’m still called by all those names. (it was a little rough during the Alf years…you know he came from the planet Melmac, right?)

And now…thanks to a friend’s hubby, I can add a brand new nickname to my list: Melf

Yes, he calls me Melf. And that’s just funny stuff right there. Because it can mean 2 different things

Mel Francis: MelF
Hot Mom = Milf / Hot Mel = Melf

It’s no secret that I aspire to be the hot mom. I’m not there yet, but I’m soooooo working on it. When Lee’s hubby started calling me Melf, I figured that I must be getting close.

Do you guys have any nicknames that are a little odd or no longer fit? Do you want me to give you a new nickname? cuz I will…

form of a SPONGE!

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I am a human sponge. No, I don’t go around sopping up everybody’s gravy with my super-absorbant skin. (Though that might be kinda cool…or messy.) I’m one of those people who tends to soak up whatever mood is around her. It can be exhilarating and exhausting.

A few years ago, I cut out the negative forces that were really clogging up my life. When you’re a sponge, being around negative, sad, sulky, bitchy, WTFery people all the time tends to make you a negative, sad, sulky, bitchy, WTFery sponge. Which means you feel bad all the time. Which also means you look bad all the time. You know what I’m talking about, right? All those people who have this permanent look on their faces like they just smelled bad ham? Yeah. I didn’t wanna look like that so I just Hulk-Smashed them right out of my life.

And so even though it’s better to look good than to feel good I can honestly say, I’m both. 😉 (because nobody looks good when they’ve just smelled bad ham)

I can hear you now, Internet. You wanna know what my point is, don’t you?

Nothing. I have no point. I just wanted you to know that when you’re feeling sad, I will too. When you’re feel bad, I will too. When you’re happy, I’m happy. When you’re…um, yeah. Let’s just say sometimes, it’s not easy being green me…

I guess that kinda makes me Kermit’s kindred spirit…

Now who’s got gravy? I’m hungry!

um…where’d you go spring?

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Internet,

I was so distraught yesterday when I went outside because it was fargin’ cold! And I was all “you fargin’ ice hole winter! go away!” and winter was like, “no.”

Saturday I walked over 5 miles and got a little bit of sun. I wore a tank top and shorts for Vitamin D’s sake! It was near 70 degrees. And yesterday? It snowed in parts of Arkansas. Like snowed lots. And I thought for a brief, terrifying moment that the snow was gonna visit us for a little bit and in that moment, my spring-like life passed before my eyes.

So today it’s still kinda cold. And wet but it’s supposed to warm up and dry up. And tomorrow it will be near 70 again, so I will be near bliss again. But still, this is not how I wanted to start toward the end of THE MONTH OF MEL!

Today was almost a very bad morning. Guess what I almost did? I almost ruined my day by grabbing the box of Kosher Salt instead of the Raw Sugar (because let’s face it, everything is better in the raw) for my coffee. Um, yeah, can you imagine how not yummy that would’ve been? Thankfully the coffee gods tapped me on the shoulder just as I was about to pour the salt into my yummy morning nectar of wakefulness. Coffee Salvation was had by me!

This is spring break for the boys and I’m pretty sure they thought they were gonna nerd out and play video games all day, every day. But I’m kind of a bitch and have taken the cords away because they haven’t cleaned up the man cave (aka the penis cave) and they haven’t cleaned up their rooms…so until they do, no video games/computer for you! Hah! Torturing the chillrens is fun! I figure if I’m gonna pay for their therapy eventually, then maybe I should give them something to talk about.

Happy Monday Internet! Got big plans today? What did you do over the weekend?

say what?

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So I get song lyrics wrong all the time. I know I’m not the only one; there are websites dedicated to the fact that we can’t hear clearly. (Or they can’t sing clearly…whatever)

Can you guess the songs from my messed up lyrics?

“400 children and the crops in the field.”

“(I send shivers) Smooth opinion.”

“Spread your love on Clyde; oh me oh my.”

Have a great day!

my bad

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I’ve been a blog slacker lately. I missed 2 days last week and then I missed yesterday. What’s up with that?

Nothing exciting has been happening around here. Finally got a section of my driveway de-iced enough that I can get the car out and our road finally thawed out yesterday.

Just in time for round two. Yup. There’s another chance of snow tonight. I know I wanted this stuff, but now I’m ready for it to go away. This is why I don’t live somewhere colder.

Both kids have school today, and they’re not happy about it. They have been perfectly content to stay in their cave playing WOW and X-Box. They’re almost praying for another round of snow. I keep telling them the more snow days we take, the longer they’ll be in school this summer–but they don’t seem to care. I’m thinking they’ll care big time in June.

Anything new with you guys?

you know what’s weird?

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Random weird tidbits that make up Mel…

  • I don’t like opening cans of biscuits because it kinda scares me when they POP!
  • Velour is physically painful for me to touch.
  • Coffee tastes better in my favorite coffee mug.
  • The smell of leather turns me on. I’ll never be able to join PETA.
  • Tomato soup is my fave but I don’t like uncooked tomatoes at all.
  • I love the flavor of pears but can’t eat them because of their grainy texture.
  • I used to only get pedicures before special occasions, but this year, I started an every other week tradition through Spring and Summer. I miss it.
  • My fingernails always tear when they get a little long. I’ve never had long nails (that weren’t fake)
  • I drive a 5-speed and keep thinking my next car will be automatic. Except I want a Jeep. And seriously, who wants to drive an automatic Jeep?
  • My 15 year old doesn’t want to learn to drive. WTF is up with that?

So are you weird?

I’m judging you

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Okay, I’m not generally a judgy-mcjudgington. I don’t care who you’re sleeping with, where you buy your clothes, if you leave dishes in your sink or have enough dog hair on your floor to weave a rug. It doesn’t matter to me if you believe in/worship God, Dog, Karma, The Universe, Buddah, Brangelina, The Kardashians, or Jim Jones. I almost don’t care what your politics are (I am slightly judging you here. I’m working on that.)

However, if you do any of the things listed below…I’m totally judging you. Because this is when your choices are infringing on me in one respect or another. And let’s face it, this is my blog, so it’s all about me.

Unless you’re physically injured or handicapped, you better not be taking the elevator just one floor. I mean it. Do you know how ridiculous it is for me to travel from floor 12–thinking I’m going to make it all the way to floor 1–only to be stopped on floor 2 because some Mr. Lazy-pants didn’t feel like taking the stairs? Yeah, I’m rolling my eyes at you when you step on the elevator because I’m judging you. If you don’t like it, take the stairs.

When you refuse to put the shopping cart in the cart corral, I’m judging you. And possibly I’m confronting your uber lazy ass as well. Yes, I’m the cart Nazi. Just walk the 3 spaces over and replace the cart. C’mon. You know you can do it. Rain is rarely an excuse. There’s always an exception but my guess is, if you’re reading this blog, the exception doesn’t apply to you.

If your hair has it’s own zip code? Yes, I’m judging you. This goes for all you Bump-It wearers. If I feel the desire to mail your hair a letter, there is a problem. I had big hair once–between the years of 1988 & 1992. If I see your bangs and suddenly start singing a Poison song, you need a new stylist.

If your jeans come to or over your belly button, and/or taper at the ankle, you bet your sweet Chic-jeans I’m judging you. Mom called, she wants her jeans back. And while you’re at it, return those white Keds to her, too. Thanks.

If you’re reading this and can see yourself in any of these examples, well, you know what to do…