2009
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2005I must not have dressed up in 2007. Hmmmm.
Happy Halloween everyone!
a trip down halloween trail…
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2009
2008
2006
2005Monthly Archives: October 2009
2009
2008
2006
2005
conversations with an 11 year old in love
Me: How’s your girlfriend.
Himself: Sexy as ever.
Me: You did NOT just say that.
Himself: No matter what she wears, she makes it work.
Me: *speechless*
Y’all have a safe and happy Halloween! And if you’re in Arkansas, feel free to jump in your boat and paddle on over to my place. I live on a hill so I’m pretty dry.
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another dirty little secret
I’ve confessed a few dirty little secrets before:
- The Flo Rida secret
- My White Trash Crush secret
- Stifler’s Mom secret
- The Dirty Bitch secret
- The Blue’s Clues secret (my personal fave)
But I have another secret I must share. But before I do, I need you to promise you won’t judge me. I couldn’t stand it if you judged me…
Okay, here goes…
I used to have a cartoon crush on the Heat Miser…but now, I have a real live version of him to love!
Kevin Miser Gillespie from Top Chef!
Tell me you don’t think they could be the same person? Go on, I dare ya.
Now if you’re familiar with the classic holiday film A YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS, you might be wondering why I didn’t have a crush on the wittier brother, Snow Miser. The answer is simple, really…Snow Miser had snotcicles. Seriously, who could crush on a guy with snotcicles?
So in my youth, I had a crush on a poorly animated dude named Heat Miser and as an adult, I’m totally crushing on Kevin G from Top Chef. Sure he can cook…but really, the reason I’m a little bit in love with him is because I know, his secret identity. (he can melt things with a touch…he’s too much!)
TOP CHEF SPOILER
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WTF? seriously, why didn’t they send Robin home? She’s a hack. And annoying. I was so shocked. I yelled at the tv like it was a Razorback football game and we were having to play both the opposing team and the refs….
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my spawn
The Spawn of Mel.
Don’t let their innocent smiles fool you–evil lies beneath those grins. Oh yes. These two adorable little munchkins are the doers of dastardly deeds.
But I love ’em anyway.
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and then she rested
What a busy weekend! Holy Spamoli!
Okay, first was Friday night’s party…which was a huge success and totally fun! I didn’t want the night to end however, responsiblity called and reminded me that I had a very busy day ahead of me on Saturday. So even though I played at being a Naughty School Girl–I am still a good girl at heart and I went home. (by myself, heh)
Saturday started off watching the Razorback game with my pal (and Alabama fan) Marley Gibson. Then the fabulous Linda Gerber joined us. After that farce of a game (can NOT even talk about it) we drove over to North Little Rock to meet Stacey Jay and her cutie-patootie hubby and Rosemary Clement-Moore for some appetizers.
from left to right: Me, Rosemary, Linda, Marley, Stacey (Not pictured: Chloe Neill)
Then we had the book signing at Books-A-Million. It went pretty well considering we were competing with the Miley-freaking-Cyrus concert. Lots of great costumes, fun trivia questions, and tasty treats. Met Chloe Neill for the first time. Totally awesome chick.
While there, I found out that BITE ME! has been chosen for the Books-A-Million Twilight Book Club! Look! Not only do I get great placement, but I get a sticker, too! 
Sunday, Marley and Me (hehehee) went out for a very lovely and inexpensive brunch before I took her to the airport. We had a great time and was so good to see her again.
Now it’s back to the normalcy of laundry, house cleaning, cooking, and homework. Hmmm. I like the busy weekends better.
Hope y’all had a good one. Anything you wanna share?
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Saturday list
- Go Hogs. Beat Rebs.
- Multi-Author Book Signing at the North Little Rock Books-A-Million tonight from 5-8 PM.
- Here is a pic of me from last night’s Halloween party. We had a great time and I really embraced my role as Cliché, The Naughty School Girl
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Hi, I’m Cliché. It’s nice to meet you…
Costumes, yummy food, friends, football, and a book signing.
If you threw in a beach and maybe a game of darts, this would be the most perfect weekend ever.
Tonight I have a costume party to go to. I was originally gonna be She-Hulk, but plans have changed…Yes, we’re having a ‘super hero’ themed party…and yes, She-Hulk (or ‘Slutty She-Hulk’ as I was planning to be) would’ve been a lot of fun…but I may not want to have green hair all night. So I’ve revamped.
Now I’m going as Cliché, The Naughty School Girl. But wait! you say. I thought this was a super hero party? you say.
Ah yes. It is. I’m the super hero of fantasies. Heh. And since I seem to pull off the Naughty Librarian look on a dialy basis, I decided to mix it up a little.
Yes, I’ll probably post pictures.
Probably.
I’m also making Artichoke-Me dip for my appetizer contribution. It’s a very simple and yummy recipe and I really can’t wait to pull it out of the oven so I can have a bite. (or 12)
Tomorrow is the Razorback game. They play Ole Miss (which is where our former coach defected to a couple of years ago. *boo hiss*) I feel certain we’re gonna tap the keg of whoop-ass on them. If we don’t, I’m also sure my Rebel pals will let me hear all about it. Wish I was going to be there…but…
I have a book signing tomorrow! Remember? There are 6 awesome authors gathering at the Books-a-million in NLR, AR from 5-8 pm Saturday night! You won’t wanna miss it…I’m thinking with that much talent all in one place, there might be a shift in the time-space continuum.
Y’all have a great weekend. I’ll see you Monday!
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bump up the volume
the story of Meth Ho and School Boy
Anyone else wanna sing “This is the story of a girl..”
Anyway…
So Friday night we went out after the Party at the Potty. The band was fun (and turns out, an old friend of mine is a member of the band, which was totally crazy.) Well, I had mentioned that some folks decided to dance and it kinda turned into a White People Can’t Dance competition.
What I didn’t mention was Meth Ho and School Boy.
MH and SB were sitting with a group of ten or so right behind us. Now, it was obvious that the group hadn’t been to the ‘big city’ in a while. They were a colorful group and seemed to be really enjoying themselves.
When the band started, this skinny chick wearing high-waisted, tapered ankled Mom jeans, an oversized hoodie and workboots got up and started ‘dancing’ by herself. It was an awkward side-to-side step and she was way offbeat. Her braided pony tail (she had it in a pony tail then braided it) swung back and forth like a whip and I was afraid for anyone who might accidentally be lashed by the bleached blond weapon.
It was almost painful watching her, but we couldn’t look away. When the band slowed things down, she moved toward the table and we all breathed a sigh of relief…until she grabbed School Boy’s hand and pulled him to the dance floor.
School Boy must’ve used the best fake ID on earth to get into the bar, because I swear he was just a very tall 12 year old. Honestly, at the very oldest, he was 18… and that’s giving him a very large benefit of the doubt. At first, I thought ‘Aw how cute. He’s gonna dance with crazy Aunt Gilda.’ But that thought quickly turned to ‘OMGWTFBBQ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!’
MH pulled SB close and they started slooooow dancing (say it like Barry White. Sloooooow Dancing) And doing this very awkward kinda grindy Dirty Dancing thing that made me throw up a little in my mouth.
I kept trying to look away, but I just couldn’t. It was horrific. And awesome.
My friend recorded the dancing with her iPhone but it was so dark and she didn’t have a good angle so I don’t have video evidence.
Which I promise you is for the best. Because seriously, that image? It burns.
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better put on your shades; mel is sparkling again…
Bee Girl be gone. Today, I’m the Queen Bee. I even wore heels to work. That’s right. HEELS. And my perfectly pedicured toes are rockin’ the silver shoes.
The sun has come out (though rumor has it we’re gonna get more rain tomorrow. Boo. Hiss.) I’ve been walking again, so I feel great again. Funny how exercise really can make such a huge difference in attitude.
Are you wearing your shades? Cuz my sparkle is turned up to blinding.
How is everyone? Are you sparkling or fizzling? Tell the Queen Bee what’s up–maybe she can help. If not, I’m sure she can entertain you with meth ho/school boy dirty dancing stories…
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 
