Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

even more.

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Yesterday, I discovered a show that is so full of crazy, I seriously think I lost a piece of my soul for watching it.

And I blame Robyn.

Toddlers and Tiaras. WTF is this holy hell of nuttiness? Who does this to children? ON PURPOSE? And how on earth can they think they’re not abusive? (They spray tanned a 23 month old AND called her arms fat. Dear Lord.)

Wow. Just. Wow.

And now Jenn is begging me to watch Dance Moms and Mob Wives, too.  I just don’t know if I’m ready to lose the rest of my soul to that side of reality tv. Save me while there’s some good left in me.

And for your open-mouthed viewing “pleasure” I give you Alana– “A dolla makes me holla, honey-boo-boo!”  

it’s raining crazy

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And I’m not just talking about the dumbasses who forget how to drive when water falls from the sky. /rant

Yesterday, I posted my Bachelor Recap for episode 4 on Hey Don’t Judge Me. Y’all. Y’ALL. I cannot explain the amount of crazy that pours out of that show. It is seriously awesome. And I’m always left to wonder what the douches and hoes think after they watch themselves..and see the behind the scenes crazy that goes on. I mean, it’s truly spectacular. So please, go read and talk to me about it. (This recap even has a clip of the crazy. One in which threats are levied against another ho-testant’s eyebrows.)

That’s all I have for today. I am going to go suck down more coffee and watch the water pour from the sky…while driver IQs everywhere continue to fall…

are you a Belieber? Tom Brady is…

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I have to admit, I had a great time texting my friend the Godfodda pics of Tom Brady and making fun of the Pats. I was team Ravenclaw all the way, and we had mucho fun ribbing each other before the game.

Here’s a sample of the fun:

GodFodda: It is going to be awesome tomorrow watching the best QB in history go to another Super Bowl?

Me: Eli?

GF: He can’t wear his brother’s jock much less Mr. Brady’s.

Me:

GF: Now that’s funny. Untrue; but funny.

Then I shared a few more photos with him:

Tom Brady is a Belieber!

Tebow and Brady:  A Match Made in Heaven 
Naturally, when we arrived at the GodFodda’s house to watch the game, we were both raring to go. I was decked out in my Purple and Black:
And he was all, “Go Pats.”
So when the Ravens blew it in the end (Bless that kicker’s heart) the GodFodda brought out some very special Tom Brady champagne to celebrate:
I drank it because it was made from the Tears of Tim Tebow… 

where did the week go?

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It’s amazing how fast this week has flown by! We got right back into the groove of things with guitar lessons and work, and soccer, and, and, and…yeah. Busy.

My Sweet Baby Mac has been returned to me with a brand new hard drive. She’s beautiful and I love her so much. Now I can write comfortably again!

BTW, did you check out this week’s Bachelor recap?

We also have SouthLAnd recaps and Glee! is back with a  yummy cocktail recipe to go along with a fabulous recap. I don’t watch Glee! but I always read Stoney’s recaps…because she is witty and her cocktails are yummy.
Did I tell you guys that I showed up to work on Monday only to discover campus was closed. ☚ yeah. I am a dull bulb sometimes. In my defense, I’ve never worked anywhere that was closed on MLK Day. It was actually a nice surprise to have an unexpected day off…

Apparently there are a lot of people interested in “Love Coupons” as it has been the #1 search term that has been bringing people to my blog. (The 2nd term has been “feet”. The intertubes has a foot fetish.) Anyway, I mentioned “love coupons” in a blog last year, and I’m getting tons of traffic this year to that post. Here’s a link, maybe it’ll help someone out… I believe love coupons are the only coupon allowed on Valentine’s Day…If you use a Groupon, I’m totally gonna make fun of you. Openly.

Have a great weekend y’all!

winner winner chicken dinner

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Race day was fantastic! Meet Cal Dela Casa, aka Callie. She is my friends’ horse and she finished in a dead heat in the 3rd race. It was amazing to see.

Also, I bet on her, so it was amazing to cash in. Friday was a winning day for me, though I don’t really bet enough to win big, I did come home with more money than I left with.

 I wore my lucky hat. Well it’s lucky now, anyway.

 Me and Jenn. Aren’t we cute?

 Sam was there again! And we both wore red. Kismet.

Me, Dee, and Laura. Ain’t we sweet?

In other news, I made sum YUMTASTIC  fish tacos on Saturday and some crock pot chicken yesterday that made me wanna slap my momma. (Shhh. don’t tell her I said that.)

Today is beautiful, I’m feeling all a-sparkle, and you guys better be twinkling along with me. That’s an order.

Humpday Melfellaneous

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My Bachelor Ben episode 2 recap is up at Hey Don’t Judge Me and it’s a doozy. Wow, I’m guessing emotionally disturbed must be a requirement to even apply. I love the crazy so much…it’s almost painful.

Please come by and chat me up. I love talking about the Craymazing Ho-testants. Also, have you liked our Hey Don’t Judge Me Facebook page? Why not?

 In other news, Friday is opening day at Oaklawn! Y’all, I CAN. NOT. WAIT. Last year, it snowed on opening day and then they rescheduled it and I had to miss it. I’m not gonna lie when I say my spring just never quite seemed to get back in line after that. It was the first girl’s opening day trip that I missed and I NEVER WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN. I actually only got to go once last year. Just. One. Time! Dudes, that is not okay.

I’m not sure that we’re gonna have the car and driver this year like we usually do. I’m hoping so, but things are up in the air right now. It doesn’t matter though, because we’re going. Even if I have to ride a pack mule to get there. Hahah. Slight exaggeration…

Here are some of my favorite pics over the years…

 I call these ladies the Shining Twins. They are really so nice. I’ve seen them almost every opening day.

Here’s the Pimp. Yes that’s a full length fur coat. The first year I saw him, I just snapped a pic. The next year, he posed with me.

We could probably also call this post, the many faces of Melf. haha.

ok daddy-o

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Here’s a confession. In general, I don’t like musicals. Naturally there are a few exceptions such as Grease, Mamma Mia, The Sound of Music, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog…but mostly, if people are bursting into song in the middle of a movie, my ears start to bleed.

This weekend, El Jefe was a little distraught over the fact I had never seen West Side Story, so when it popped up on the TV guide, we watched.

Well, I can check that movie off my bucket list. (not that it was ever on it, but still. I’ve seen it now.)

And what did I think of it?

  • Natalie Wood and Rita Moreno looked beautiful. 
  • I would wear every single dress in the movie.

  • I detest Natalie Wood’s singing voice.
  • Bernardo looked like he was made of cheese and spray paint. 
  • There is nothing sexy about being a Jet or a Shark. Snapping ain’t cool, daddy-o.

Okay, I can say I’m glad I’ve seen the movie, but I can also say, it did not win me over…

And now you know why I can’t stand Glee…

PS: I’m working on my Bachelor recap for Hey Don’t Judge Me! it should be up this afternoon….

lipstick on a razorback

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Kiss me! I’m a hog fan and I’m wearing my red lips to prove it!

I’m also wearing my razorback charm on my charm necklace:

My razorback shirt and as always my razorback red hair:

Woo Pig! Let’s rock Jerry’s House tonight! I can’t wait to hang out at Cheers with some of my favorite people and cheer my little piggies to victory! And to all my friends who are heading to the game in high cotton, drive carefully!