Rocket Mom!

It’s homecoming night for Catholic High, and I’m in full Rocket Mom mode. Well, I will be around 2:00, anyway. I’m not going to the game, but I’m sure Rader will. I volunteered to help set up. The alumni association is providing burgers and dogs and drinks for everyone. Kinda cool, really.

The Arkansas State Fair starts this weekend. I’m sad I won’t be going this year because the boys and I had tons of fun last year sampling all the fried food on a stick. I really could go for a corndog and a fried twinkie. And I do love me some people watching. Wow. It’s even better than people watching at an outdoor concert by the river!

Here’s some fair pics from 2008:

 Connor and Rader. Can’t believe these two kids are now 6ft+ tall.
 Bacon and Chocolate. Gross.
Fried Twinkie. Divine.
Here’s some pics from 2011:

Heh. Too fun. Dammit Janet! I want a corn dog!

I’m back!

I took a much needed two week break from blogging. It was totally unplanned, but I’m glad I did it. Hope you guys are still around. If not, I’ll just talk to myself. I do that a lot anyway. Good thing I crack myself up…

First things, first…The Bachelor is back and so are my recaps at Hey Don’t Judge Me! Go forth, read and let’s discuss the crazy! Because trust me, this season will be full of some drama.

Lot’s of things went down over the holiday break. And by “lot’s of things” I actually mean sleep. I did lots of sleeping. I slept all the sleeps. It was fantastic.

I also got a haircut…

I like it. ๐Ÿ™‚ I never like having the same ol’ boring hair year after year.

I hope y’all had a wonderful holiday and new year.

By the way, I don’t believe in resolutions, but I do think I could use a revolution this year…let’s make it happen.

MelF’s weekend update

Tony and Angela’s wedding reception was Friday, so the boys and I got cleaned up and celebrated together. I took pics of them because THEY WERE BOTH CLEAN. AT THE SAME TIME. You probably don’t understand how monumental this is, unless you also are the parent of 13 and 17 year old boys…

Here we are before the reception. Thanks to my brother for taking the pics. Sadly, I have none of the boys without them making some kind of face, but hey, that’s what happens when you have boys… or at least that’s what I tell myself to make myself feel better.

This is me and Ian after the reception. He’s about to jump into the pool for a late night swim and I’m sweating like it’s my job. But it turned out to be a cute pic, despite the hair in his eyes. At least he’s not flipping off the camera or making some weird face…
Here I am with my nieces Zzer and Scarlette. I can’t believe they are both almost taller than me! WTH?
And here I am with Robyn and the *ahem* BLUSHING bride, GiGi! She looked beautiful. And I had such a good time seeing my some old friends and family again.

There may be some pics floating around (untagged, thank God) on Facebook of me “getting low” on the dance floor. They shall remained untagged and hopefully, unseen by the majority of the world. Thankfully there is no video…
Saturday was low key…so much so, that I almost didn’t get out of bed. El Jefe came over for dinner and a movie and we took the boys to Gamestop so they could nerd out on some “break out of jail and rob a pimp” game. It’s like Grand Theft Auto on crack. I will admit it’s a little bit fun… maybe.
And then Sunday we enjoyed mucho pool time with Robyn and the kids. We only have about a month left to enjoy the pool before she moves so we plan to do it with gusto!

Rader and Ruby soaking up the rays…

Okay, so “someone” (casey epps) forgot Melf’s bathing suit picture rules…and grabbed my phone and took a full body (or shall I say a full BOTTOM) shot. Thankfully, I have Photoshop Express installed on my phone and I played with filter and cropping… Now I look like a movie star… as it should be.
Hope y’all had a great weekend!

riding the storm out…

Yesterday was Operaciรณn de Rrasladar El Jefe Operation Relocate El Jefe. I drove my brother’s big ass truck (a country girl can survive!) (and holy crap, $90 to fill that bitch up!) to Oxford and we loaded it down like we were storing up for the apocalypse. Little did we know how close to the truth that would be…

I beat the storms out of town yesterday morning. It was crazy because I seriously drove through a line of sunlight, while I could see two different storm systems on either side of me. Oxford, was sunny and humid and we worked like pack mules to load up the trucks and U-haul so we could haul our asses out of there before the big storms hit.

We had no rain for the first 2 hours of the 3.5 hour drive. But as we were nearing Brinkley, we could see the crazy lightning storms and swirly skies and we knew we were heading right into the mouth of the dragon. (We also knew because of Mike Francis broadcasting on the radio and Fishdog calling to tell me where the funnel clouds were and how long we had… a big thank you for that, Fishdog. Seriously.)
We made it to Brinkley just as the sirens began to wail and just as it began to hail. We stood outside and watched. The cinder block building protected us from the straight-line winds and the rain. It was pretty amazing to see the storm roll in.

That flagpole was nearly bent into an arch a couple of times, the winds were so strong…

Luckily, we didn’t have any tornadoes.
Sadly, there are parts of the state that weren’t so lucky. Vilonia, AR was mowed down by a half-mile wide Wedge Shaped massive tornado.

We are supposed to have round two tonight, but I’m hoping things aren’t quite as tumultuous as last night was.

FANtastic FANaticals!

I love reader mail. It makes my day every time I get a note from someone who has just finished my books and wanted to tell me how much they loved them and beg ask about a 3rd book… Yesterday, I got the most fun Fan Mail of all…from my niece Zzer: (warning: spoilers!!)

OMG AUNT MEL!!!!!!!!! I read your second book and like i was like what the crap after i read it because i cant believe lex is going to leave he sounds totally hot and so does ryan but to be honest ryan made me mad haha for most of the book soo i kinda chose lex for a while!!! UGHHH anyways just thought i would tell you that!! LOVE YOU!! YOUR NIECE, ELIZABETH FRANCIS

Best. Letter. Ever. And I love you too, Z. Also, I wanted to choose Lex but Maria Geraci wouldn’t let me. Whatever. Lex was hot. And in other Fantastic Fanatical news…Ian had a doc’s appointment the other afternoon and I had to check him out of school a little early. As we were leaving, this group of high school girls followed us out.

“OMG I love your red hair! It’s so sexy.”

“Ian! Is that your mom? She’s hot.”

Winner, Winner! Chicken Dinner! There’s pretty much nothing better for the ego…other than getting carded… which happened again the other day. Haha! Looks like selling my soul is paying off… ๐Ÿ˜€

2011: Month of Mel Day 29: Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

(That’s Cotton to you)

This pic is from my launch party for BITE ME! in August 2009. My hair is redder now and I’m about 20 lbs lighter (and those glasses are at the bottom of Lake Ouachita)… but my daddy still looks the same. ๐Ÿ™‚ Here’s some fun trivia about Cotton.

  • He had WHITE hair until he was in his late teens–hence his nickname.
  • He always wore a leather belt with his nickname engraved on the back.
  • I have never heard him call me by my name. It’s either Lissa Jane (my middle name is Renee) or it’s “Gal.”
  • He coached my softball teams for most of my life. This was a blessing and a curse.
  • When he was told Ian’s name after he was born, Daddy asked, “N?” as in L, M, N, O, P?” Sadly, he was not the only person who asked that. And even more sadly, Ian has a friend who has never called him anything other than N. hahaha
  • He taught me to change my oil and tires when I was a teen. (now I have Goodyear for that.)
  • He had 2 favorite sayings when I was growing up: “She’s so ugly she’d have to sneak up on a pail of water to get a drink.” and “Wish in one hand and “mmmmph” in the other and see which one fills up first.” (btw, he always said “mmmmph” and I was in my 20s before I learned that “mmmmph” was actually supposed to be”shit.” The saying never made sense to me until that moment.)
  • His favorite dessert was canned peaches with oreos crushed on top. (I know, right? *shudder*)
  • Nobody can fry fish better.

I would also like to send a shout out and a big HAPPY SWEET 16 to my darling niece TAYLOR MARIE. I love you kiddo and miss you lots and lots. Hope to see you this summer!!!

2011: Month of Mel Day(s) 4,5,6,& 7

So, here’s the thing. I haven’t seen El Jefe in 3 weeks. He was in town Thursday afternoon. I didn’t blog Friday… so deal with it. If I had blogged, it would have gone something like this:

Month of Mel Day 4:

In 1900 my Mema was born today. She was awesome. I miss her and her fried pies.

I haven’t seen El Jefe in 3 weeks and I’ve missed him like I would miss oxygen a little bit. He got me an iPad for my birthday. Let’s all pay homage to El Jefe because he is awesome.

(this is where we pay homage. Do It.)


Month of Mel Day 5:

Saturday we went to see Jenn C. do her emcee thing at Electric Cowboy. She was really funny and looked beautiful…I wanted to ride the electric Bull but couldn’t because I was afraid something would go wrong and I wouldn’t be able to do my Sunday event…


Damn. 5:00 A.M. comes really effin early. Just sayin. I needed to get El Jefe to the airport in the 6:00 A.M. range–then I had to get to the River Market to walk/run that half marathon that was a really good idea a few months ago.

My untrained goal was to finish at 3:30. My walking partner, Eric and I finished at 3:25:09. As far as I am concerned, this was a big win.

Here’s Team Melf:
Lindy, Me, Eric, Robyn
Me and Robyn after we finished. We are totally celebrating. As we should be.
And here is my official stuff. I . Am . Awesome . If you don’t think so, then you suck.

I came home with a couple of souvenirs…and I’m not talking about my medal and MELF shirt

Yes that’s a 2 blister, blister. Awesome.

I’m happy. and proud. and so glad it’s over.

Today is Monday. If I’m not at work, now you know why…

2011: Month of Mel Day Two


Once upon a time, there was a buxom (isn’t that a great word?) red-head named Melf. Melf wrote a book. A vampire book for teens. Melf sold that book in 2007…and then this other vampire book for teens MADE A BIG SPLASH.

And then Melf’s book came out…and the #1 question Melf was asked? “Do your vampires sparkle?”

And Melf’s answer? “I sparkle. My vampires do not.”

Welcome to the beginning of awesome. (BTW, I’m totally going to buy these shoes. Holy Crap how freaking sexy are they? Plus they are my favorite color AND THEY SPARKLE!)

In all seriousness, I love sparkle. It’s a great word when applied to how I feel most of the time. Sparkle is contagious, so I try to sprinkle my sparkle everywhere I go. The world is just a much better place when it’s all a-glitter. Don’t you think?