Don’t really have much to say today other than my recap of this week’s Bachelorette is up. Ames wore red pants and I may never get over it. Also you should go read just so this picture will make sense to you:
I’m talking to you, Air Conditioner. Shape up or Ship Out!
I’m even wearing my cowboy boots today…so this picture is predicting the future.
In other news, I blogged at FCR about my wardrobe malfunction yesterday at the gym. All kinds of fun was had by all. Or at least by the 2 college boys who witnessed the incident…
So y’all know I walked/ran a half marathon this past March, right? (I actually ran (ok “ran”) the last half of the marathon and walked the first half, which sounds retarded and backward, but honestly, the running was easier than the walking by then. dunno why)
ANYWAY
After the marathon, I kinda just stopped working out. And by “Kinda”, I mean, I totally stopped. Like I think I’ve walked twice since March. And I’m not even sure if I can count them because I think I went directly to Cantina Laredo after the walks and fell into a vat of cheese dip and could only be saved from sure death by 2 Antonio Banderas Margaritas. Which I’m pretty sure cancelled out the exercise completely.
I do give myself an A for effort though.
I’m actually a pretty fit “fatty.” I’ve been very successful on my weightloss journey (<– yes, I said journey. You’re welcome.) It started when I lived in Oxford. I had decided to try to lose 20 lbs a year until I was at my goal. And even though I haven’t done that exactly, I have lost 5 sizes, and that’s nothing to shake a stick at. Unless you just really wanna shake a stick.
Tony and Angela’s wedding reception was Friday, so the boys and I got cleaned up and celebrated together. I took pics of them because THEY WERE BOTH CLEAN. AT THE SAME TIME. You probably don’t understand how monumental this is, unless you also are the parent of 13 and 17 year old boys…
This is me and Ian after the reception. He’s about to jump into the pool for a late night swim and I’m sweating like it’s my job. But it turned out to be a cute pic, despite the hair in his eyes. At least he’s not flipping off the camera or making some weird face…
Here I am with my nieces Zzer and Scarlette. I can’t believe they are both almost taller than me! WTH?
And here I am with Robyn and the *ahem* BLUSHING bride, GiGi! She looked beautiful. And I had such a good time seeing my some old friends and family again.
Rader and Ruby soaking up the rays…
Seriously. For a short work week, this was the LONGEST. WEEK. EVER. I told Stoney yesterday that I was pretty sure I’d aged 45 years over the past week. Have you seen my spectacles and cane?
We haven’t done a stats blog in a while. I always find what people “google” to find my website very, very interesting. (by the way, when I do these blogs I always think “Stat Me Up” but then start singing “Start Me Up” by the Stones… Go figure…)
I’m getting a lot of searches for CNBC Anchor Melissa Francis again. She must be stirring the controversy pot or wearing lots of cleavage shirts on the boob tube (hee hee!) You know, to show off her healthy lungs. I’ve blogged about her before…and even did an interview with her… CNBC Melissa Francis (sorry some of the picture links and direct links to archived blogs are still broken.)
She’s very funny to chat with. I nearly had a stroke the day she emailed me a couple of years ago suggesting I post a few naked pics of her (well, her
head on Meghan Fox’s body) so she could mooch off the attention.
Best. Email. Ever. I’m gonna have to let her know people seem to be very interested in seeing her naked again. And they really like her legs, too. And cleavage. I get it, Internetz! CNBC Melissa Francis is hot! Fine. Hmph. This is my blog and I’m hot, too. Uh. nevermind.
I’ve had a significant increase of people actually looking for Melissa Francis the Writer. <— hey! that’s me! I’ve had a lot of MILF searches, as well. <—- Hey that’s me! Some Lucas Black/Sling Blade searches, and one:
Marry Me, Melissa.
Wow. Where’s my ring? I won’t even consider this a real proposal without a ring. Got it? Also, I need a few details before I commit to a lifetime with you. First off, what’s your name? Are you gainfully employeed? Will I be allowed to continue to date El Jefe?
My favorite two recent search terms?
Secret deoderant how to open
small, blonde country singer singing about bitchin’ about her man. <–I did NOT make that up. Someone from Dillsburg, Pennsylvania searched for that. Sorry to say, I’m pretty sure you didn’t find what you were looking for.
In other Other OTHER OTHER… yeah, I got nuffin. I’m done here. Have a very happy Thursday!
So every girl needs a compliment everyday once in a while. It’s funny how far something like “Hey beautiful” or “You look hot!” or “I love your smile” or even better “Have you lost weight?” will get you. I’m actually pretty sure sincere compliments will cure cancer. And Scoliosis. C’mon! you know you sit up straighter when you’re complimented!
Anyway…I do have a point here, and I think I’m finally ready to get to it…
Last night, Ian and I were catching up. He was very enthusiastic about my clean room (until I informed him he was to do the same to his room! har!!) and we were having fun checking out some of the old pics I found. One of which is me…lying on the beach wearing a bikini. The only bikini I ever owned and I’m quite certain this is the only picture of me in said bikini in existence.
Ian: That wasn’t very long ago, was it Mom?
Me: I was 21, so yes, 21 years ago.
Ian: You could wear that now.
Me: Very nice son! Your sucking up is really improving!
Ian: Really? But seriously, you know I think you’re really pretty, right?
Clean up aisle 9! There’s a puddle of Mel on the floor. Someone bring a mop and a bucket because she totally just MELted. (har har!)
Best compliment ever. I mean EVER.
his sucking up REALLY has improved…
This was a fabulous holiday weekend. Sadly, the party barge is still out of commission so we were unable to spend the weekend on the lake. However, we made the best of it…
When I started working outside, Clementine and Ruby decided to pay Baby Bear a visit…
And finally, yesterday was a great pool party with some of the best people on earth. I was exhausted from all the fun, so I took a little nap…
How was your weekend?
My ex-BIL (but still my brother in every sense of the word) and my dear friend GiGi (and about to be officially my sister) are tying the knot today in Florida. It’s just them and their kids in a small ceremony on the beach (as it should be). They’ve been together for what seems like forever and it’s about time Tony makes an honest woman out of her! Love you guys and I wish you many, many years of happiness!
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 