Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

Let’s Groove Tonight

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Antibiotic eyedrops AHOY! Lovin’ the fact that my eye doesn’t feel like a fat marshmallow anymore. SWEEEEET!

Last night was not our typical girls night out…we had our monthly Bunko game…the theme was Black Tie Bunko (which is funny, cuz my BFF Maria Geraci has a book called BUNCO BABES GONE WILD and they host a fundraiser called Black Tie Bunco…if you haven’t read it yet, SHAME ON YOU. Order it NOW!) Anyway, I wore black and white and had a black skull tie on…a couple of girls wore beautiful formal gowns. A couple wore suits. All in all it as a good time.

Tonight, I’m introducing my children to the legendary band EARTH, WIND AND FIRE. It’s gonna be awesome.

for corn sakes! say it isn’t so!

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Y’all, I’m just not sure if I can take this news. I mean, this is just the one thing in the world that I never thought would happen and now that it has, I’m a little terrified that the Four Horsemen are on their way.

Or that we’ll soon be visited by frogs and locusts and that our rivers will turn to blood.

Maybe Hell did indeed freeze over…

I know. You can’t imagine what on earth would have me worried that this is the end of the world as we know it(and I feel fiiiine…)

Seriously. WTF?

Crap! Is that a boil on my arm!?!? It’s happening!

puffy eyes, dokken shirt, fans and pictures

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I’m better today. I think I have an eye infection. (see, I kinda sorta try to stretch out my contacts longer than I should cuz when money is tight, that’s not really where I wanna spend my cash…) Problem is, now I have to spend the same amount going to the doc and getting some antibiotic. Stupid, dumb writer chick. You just can’t teach common sense, ya know?

So this week I’ve been walking around with a puffy right eye. I kinda look like I’ve been punched; especially first thing in the morning. The eye runs constantly and so I also have a runny nose. Claritin D helps with the swelling and the runniness, but not completely. Yeah, I’m a big fat swollen hot mess.

Last night was trivia night (4th place again! Still #2 overall!) and I brought a couple of books to give away. One to a 14 year old daughter of a competing team memeber(BTW she was GORGEOUS! and now I’ve decided that she and my 16 year old need to be IN LURVE by the end of the summer. Cupid? Do you hear me?) MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU is our #1 nemesis…but they are a lot of fun so we cut them some slack. Especially since they got beat by FARTSMELLERS last night. LOL (FARTSMELLERS are pretty cool too, and my youngest sone thinks they have the best name ever so maybe he should defect to their team. TRAITOR!) So anyway, when I met John last week, he said his daughter was a huge reader and he called her and she immediately looked me up on the internet and said she wanted to read my book so I promised her a copy. (longest run on sentence ever?)Jaqueline came to trivia night last night, I brought her a book and signed it, we hugged, we bonded…and she wanted a picture of me.

Okay, remember the puffy eye? Um yeah. Me, no make-up, a big ol’ puffy eye…AND MY DOKKEN CONCERT SHIRT FROM THEH EARLY 90s. But I sucked it up and now she has a collectors item. Because seriously, that is one ugly ass picture of me. (Jaqueline, please come back next week. I promise to look presentable and we can take tons more pics if you want!) I was happy to take a picture with her even though I looked like I had been rejected by the Grim Reaper.

John was so appreciative that I brought his daughter a book, but honestly I am happy to do it. I always feel like giving 1 book to a new reader is a great way to spread the word. All I ask of the person I give the book to is that if you like it, please tell your friends to buy a copy and to write me a review somewhere. Tit for tat and all that. 🙂

I also brought a copy to our Trivia Jockey (TJ instead of DJ) Brent. He’s a great guy and entertains the hell out of me and he always plays my favorite songs…so he deserved a copy. And I gave a copy to a friend of my brother. 3 copies total. I guess all in all, despite my stay-puf face, I had a great time last night.

BTW: 2 months from tomorrow…LOVE SUCKS! will hit the shelves!!!

carry on

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Not really in a good place today, so no fun blog for you. I will tell you I watched the Bachelorette: Douchebaggery of Love last night and am quite excited about this season’s craptastic potential.

Here’s one of my favorite moments from last night’s show…

if the video doesn’t play, it’s the “Serenade” online. Of course, they cut out the part where he sang “I can throw a football better than Jake.” Cracked me up.

still LOST and pretty unsatisfied

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WARNING! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

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THEY’RE ALL DEAD? WTF?

We went through all that for nothing? Are you freaking kidding me?

I’m sorry, but this just wreaks a little of the Bobby Ewing/Dallas it was all just a dream cop out from the 80s. This show was sooooo much better than a cop out. I’m truly disappointed in the way they chose to end it.

It was awesome seeing everyone together again but it left me wondering when did they all die? Did anything really happen on the island? Was that truly “LIMBO” and everyone had to find their own redemption before they could move on?

WTF ever. I HATED that ending.

I’ll tell you when the ending show lost me…the moment Island Kate told Island Jack she loved him and they had their moment. It was total bunk. They never belonged together, never had real on screen passion or spark. It just felt like the writers wanted them to couple up because everyone else was. COP OUT. I’ll admit I was always team Kate & Sawyer UNTIL there was team Sawyer & Juliet. I loved them together and their parallel moment at the vending machine was amazing. Parallel Kate’s & Jack’s moment seemed as forced as island Kate & Jack. I just didn’t buy it.

I feel like we’ve been duped. That’s just crap. All the stuff they went through only to be dead? No sorry, buddy. I don’t think so. You guys can Suck It.

Yes, the ending with Jack dying on the island was a great bookend to the beginning with Jack waking on the island. And there was some beautiful imagery and dialogue. I loved when Shannon and Sayid found each other again. Hated her…loved them together. I loved, loved, loved Benjamin Linus and his flawed but wonderfully redeemed character. His story really was the most heart wrenching in so many ways.

I loved Richard’s 1st gray hair and Hurley’s heroics and just plain awesomeness. There was a lot to like about the episode. But the overall ending? CHEESETASTIC AND GIMMICKY. Way to ruin a great show by taking the easy way out.

They’re dead. That is all.

Ugh.

All that for nothing. Nobody wants to root for dead people! We want happily ever after…not happily ever afterlife! Or at least, that’s what I wanted. I wanted to know that everything they went through was so they could enjoy a LIFE together in the here and now….then they can move on to the there and later.

Unsatisified overall but happy to see all the couples (except for 1) together. Nice try, LOST dudes. I give the ending episode a B overall and a C- for the cop out. It would’ve been a D but I did cry several times, so you get the emotional points for that.

What did y’all think? Am I alone in still being a little LOST?

TV wrap ups

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A NOTE FOR YOUR FUTURE SAFETY:
I will NOT be availabe via phone, texting, email, or in person on Sunday from 6pm CST – 10:30pm CST. I will be lost in LOST and probably crying like a big damn baby. You can judge me all you want. I’m good with that. I ♥ this show in a way that is not holy. I am going to be mourning the loss of my favorite characters, my favorite stories, my favorite Tuesday night event (aside from Trivia night…thank the TV gods for DVR). I am sooooo sad it’s going away, even though I know it’s time.

Next week, we can discuss it until the horse is dead. And then we can discuss it some more. All I can say at this point, I love me some Desmond, Sawyer, & Hurley. Okay, I seriously am in love with Hurley. ALL-CAPS Kristal tells me all the time that I’m a chubby chaser…and I guess I just proved her right. I’m okay with that.

GREY’S ANATOMY:
Okay, I’ll admit that since Grey’s falls on a Thursday night, I don’t watch it very much anymore. Thursday (as you know) is my standard GNO…now sometimes I would record it, sometimes I wouldn’t. I’m pretty sure I haven’t really seen a whole episode in about 5 weeks…but last night was the season finale and I didn’t feel like going out, so I decided to pile up on my couch with my pug and watch it.

It didn’t take me long to catch up…it’s kinda like watching daytime television. You can miss 2 years of AMC and watch 1 episode and be up to speed in no time. But lemme tell you about last night…I needed some blood pressure medication to watch that show. I seriously thought I might have a heart attack or a stroke before it was over.

They had a warning before the show started about violent images. OH. EM. GEE. Yes, it was violent, but the thing that killed me the most was the freaking horror film creepy ‘music’ in the background. Every time I heard it, my heart rate jumped about 150 beats per minute.

I cried like a leaky faucet. At one point I even yelled “NO!” at the TV. (You know it’s a good show if it makes a fairly sane person act crazy.)

Somehow I managed to sleep last night, but I had to watch something funny to help me wind down. Thankfully EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS and THE BERNIE MAC SHOW come on from 10-11. Those two shows crack me up every time.

Did you watch? What did you think? And are you going to be glued to the TV on Sunday like me??

blerg

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Yeah. It’s a stormy Thursday and all I wanna do is stay in bed.

Thankfully yesterday was gorgeous and I got to hang by the pool for a couple of hours with my friends. I enjoyed it tremendously.

Okay and let me just tell you, I don’t know when my hair went from a small showing of roots to OH MY DAMN I HAVE ROOTS THAT NEEDED TO BE COLORED 3 WEEKS AGO! Calling Katie-of-the-Hair today.

Did I mention how excited I am about going to see Harry Potter this summer?

I’m also Ogrely excited about the new Shrek movie coming out this weekend.

Clementine the new kitty is no longer pregnant and there are no kittens to be found. I’m sure she was so malnourished when she found us, the babies died. Sad really…but it’s time to get her fixed. Which might put an end to her good mood, but I really don’t care.

Also, I wanna know who on earth is googling Monkey MILF and what exactly you think that is? Do monkey’s have MILFs in their society? Would it be a MMILF? Monkey Mom I’d Like to ….

Alrighty then. That’s about all I got for ya today. Sorry to be so boring, but sometimes a girl just doesn’t have anything to say. No really. It’s true.

do the humpty-humpday dance!

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Team BITE ME! placed 4th last night at Live Team Trivia! We were in 1st place the entire game, but that damn WAGER OF DEATH at the end killed us. We got 2 answers reversed and lost 16 pts in the process.

Ah well. We’re still in the top 3 overall. We are still contenders to play for $10,000!!

It is Wednesday and boy am I happy about it. If the weather holds off, I’ll be enjoying some poolside girl time today. As Spongebob says: “I’M READY!”

So as of 7:55 this morning, I am officially registered for the RWA Conference in Orlando. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna drive to Tallahassee and ride down to Orlando with Maria. I’m even thinking about bringing Rader along with me…would love to bring both boys, but Ian will already be in school.

As excited as I was about staying at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel in Nashville, (which as you should all know is flooded, therefore our conference had to be relocated) I have to tell you, I’m just as excited about staying at the Swan and Dolphin hotel in Disney. I’ve been to Disney at least 8 times in my life (never get tired of it, btw) and I’ve NEVER stayed at a Disney property. Never, ever, ever. So this is pretty darn cool to me.

Can. Not. Wait. And while I’m there, I’ll be going to Universal Studios (the greatest place on earth) to fill up on some Harry Potter. I don’t care if it’s July. There ain’t enough heat in the muggle world to keep me away from visiting the Wizarding World of Harry …

my very own Zoolander

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My youngest child…he has “ham” down pat. (that’s my niece in the background dancing in the rain)

And my oldest has “bored teen” down pat

Tonight is trivia night! Team BITE ME! is gearing up for victory!

life lessons from Survivor

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Before I get into my blog, check out this awesome pic I took yesterday while waiting for the storms to pass so we could FINALLY watch a baseball game. We gave up after 3 hours…and 15 minutes later the sun came out and they played the game. Of course…

SURVIVOR SPOILER ALERT!

Dear Russell from Survivor,

I admired your devious form of play in Survivor Samoa. We had never seen
anything quite like you…burning your teammates’ socks, emptying all the water,
finding immunity idols without clues…yes, you were pretty amazing. And we
tolerated your obnoxiousness for the sake of entertaining TV.

Yes, you made it to the final 3 of Samoa but no, you didn’t win because
Survivor is just as much a social game as it is a strategic game. You seemed to
forget all about that and when you wound up in the finals with one of the most
social players of your season, you got your ass kicked.

No votes. As expected.

Fast forward to this past season of Heroes vs Villains. DID YOU NOT LEARN
ANYTHING? Oh wait, nop you didn’t. You played the exact same game and took 2 of
the most social women to the finals with you, even bragging that there was no
way Sandra would win.

Um, guess who won?

Yeah. Sandra. A former million dollar winner, who by all rights should have
had a tough time winning because she had won before…yeah, she kicked your
ass.

Parvati also got a few votes.

But you? Nope. Not one vote. And then you tell Jeff Probst that if America
could vote you’d be the clear winner.

Um, guess what? You’re wrong. You play a mean game and make for entertaining
TV, but you’re dumb as a box of rocks if you couldn’t figure out that you needed
to develop a more social game. You lost the million bucks because you’re an
idiot. An egotistical, self-righteous, misogynistic IDIOT.

It amazes me when people continue to make the same mistake over and over and
over again. Oh well, they make that bed, guess they have to learn to lie in
it…

You get what you deserve,
Mel

And on another note:

Dear JT,

I think you’re adorable and if you ever find yourself in Arkansas, look me
up!

Love,
Mel