Mondaze.

Posted on by
Reply

funny pictures of cats with captions

It’s Mondaze during the holidaze week of Christmas.

I watched Love Actually 3 times this weekend. Yes, I’m ridiculous. No, I really don’t care if you think I’m a loser. (and can I just say, both of my boys sat down and watched it with me the 3rd time about half-way through and got completely hooked) This confirms my theory that Love Actually is actually Christmas Crack.

I also watched Seven Pounds. What a downer. I had that movie figured out within the first 10 mins yet I couldn’t stop watching. Probably because I love Will Smith but still, it was such a damn downer. And the ending was just so expected! C’mon!

S
U
R
V
I
V
O
R

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

And then there was Survivor which made me very, very happy. I was all about Team Russell until he got all nasty about Shambo last week. Seriously, that man owed Shambo his place in the game. If it hadn’t been for her, he never would’ve made it as far as he did. And instead of giving her the respect she deserved, he called her names and said she disgusted him, etc. It made me ill. While I agree he played an amazingly strategic and very obvious game, and he was total entertainment…Natalie played just as smart but was much less obvious. And it worked for her.

I was happy.

Plus she’s an Arkansas girl, so Woo Pig Sooie!

And on a final note, I’ll be at the Benton Library tonight from 6-7 doing a talk and signing books. What on earth am I gonna talk about?

Mel-O-Funny; Mel-O-Music; MEL-O-FRIDAY!

Posted on by
Reply

Today’s Doonesbury cracked me up. Here’s a link to the daily strip if you can’t read it on my blog.
I’m so happy it’s Friday. I’ve been looking forward to tonight for a very long time. Two of my favorite bands will be playing at the Verizon Arena…and I’m going to be there with one of my favorite people! It’s gonna be a good time.
Theory of a Deadman: I have two of their albums, and I will freely admit that I am a repeat offender when it comes to this band. I actually work out to them a lot. Plus I always include them in my playlists. I heart them. Here’s the video BY THE WAY. He’s got a great voice.

The other band that will be there is Daughtry! I am so stoked about seeing them live. Actually, the year Chris Daughtry didn’t win American Idol is the year I stopped watching that show. Here’s the video for LIFE AFTER YOU

Now, if I could just figure out what I’m going to wear. I know I’ll be cute…just how cute?

Big plans this weekend? Last minute shopping, baking, partying?

lottery fail

Posted on by
Reply

The bad news is, I didn’t win Powerball last night.

The good news is, nobody else did either.

I don’t play the lottery every week, but I do play on occasion. I have a specific set of numbers I play each time and then I’ll do a quick pick or two.

I love to play lottery math and figure out how I’m going to divide out the money. It’s the only kinda math I’m really good at.

Because I also spend an enormous amount of time daydreaming about the beach, I devote much of my lottery winnings on a beach house. Now my dream home would be the house from the Thomas Crown Affair (if Pierce Brosnan came with the house, that would just be a bonus.) Of course, THAT house is on a private island somewhere…even if I win the Powerball, my guess is, it won’t be enough for a private island.

So, I’ll settle for Florida. 🙂

Maybe I’ll win the lottery for Christmas. Then I could really exercise my mind and do lottery math for real!

Do you play the lottery? Do you have specific numbers you always play or do you just Quick Pick?

Mel’s 12 Days of Christmas

Posted on by
Reply

I would apologize for the lameness of this ‘song’ but whatever. I had fun. LOL

On the 1st day of Christmas, someone gave to me–a cold that lasted 6 days.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my kids gave to me–2 lame excuses for not doing their chores.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my dog gave to me–3 chewed up pens and garbage all over the floor.

On the 4th day of Christmas, my friends gave to me–4 glasses of wine and laughter that lasted all night.

On the 5th day of Christmas, my mother gave to me–5 guilt trips!

On the 6th day of Christmas, my boss gave to me–6 piles for filing and papercuts that just won’t heal.

On the 7th day of Christmas, my cats gave to me–7 giant furballs and a stinky litter box.

On the 8th day of Christmas, my mailman gave to me–8 bills I can’t pay.

On the 9th day of Christmas, my neighbor gave to me–a 9 minute fight in the street.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my statcounter gave to me–10 million searches for
Melissa Francis CNBC.

On the 11th day of Christmas, my daddy gave to me–11 books to sign for his poker buddies.

On the 12th day of Christmas, I give to you: a new set of decorative plates …

You’re welcome.

you know what’s weird?

Posted on by
Reply

Random weird tidbits that make up Mel…

  • I don’t like opening cans of biscuits because it kinda scares me when they POP!
  • Velour is physically painful for me to touch.
  • Coffee tastes better in my favorite coffee mug.
  • The smell of leather turns me on. I’ll never be able to join PETA.
  • Tomato soup is my fave but I don’t like uncooked tomatoes at all.
  • I love the flavor of pears but can’t eat them because of their grainy texture.
  • I used to only get pedicures before special occasions, but this year, I started an every other week tradition through Spring and Summer. I miss it.
  • My fingernails always tear when they get a little long. I’ve never had long nails (that weren’t fake)
  • I drive a 5-speed and keep thinking my next car will be automatic. Except I want a Jeep. And seriously, who wants to drive an automatic Jeep?
  • My 15 year old doesn’t want to learn to drive. WTF is up with that?

So are you weird?

despite the odds

Posted on by
Reply

I’m in a great mood today, even though the odds were totally stacked against me.

Monday’s are always difficult at Chez Francis. I The boys don’t wanna get out of bed and once they’re actually upright, they never wanna get moving.

Today was greeted with an extra special batch of ARE YOU KIDDING ME when my almost 16 year old started harrassing my almost 12 year old for the 10 bucks he charged his brother to play with his Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Seriously, d00d? You’re damn near 16. Stop being such a grade A butthead. You haven’t messed with those cards in 2 years and the only reason you’re being a tool about it now is because your little brother wants them.

Yes, I just called my kid a tool. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him, just means he’s a teenager and frankly, they’re all tools at one point or another.

Still, I feel great today. I’m in a good place mentally (though I’ve slacked off on my exercise lately and I’m starting to feel it) and even though Christmas really isn’t my favorite time of year (long story) I’m beginning to feel a slight tingle of holiday spirit. Not sure I’m tingly enough to listen to Christmas music, but maybe that’s not too far away.

I wrote a little bit this weekend on a new series proposal that I’m actually really excited about. Did some plotting with the Amazing Tia Maria last night and she helped me figure out why I was stuck. Now I can unstick myself and move forward.

We had another movie day yesterday. Watched The Proposal and Doubt. Completely different movies, but very good. I actually enjoyed The Proposal more than I thought I would, BUT they missed some really good opportunities to increase the sexual tension and the love story. However, I laughed out loud several times and got to look at Ryan Reynolds for two hours. All in all I would call it a WIN.

I’m ready to watch Love Actually which is one of my favorite movies of all time. And just because I’m in a great mood, I’m going to link my favorite scene from that movie.

“Enough. Enough now.”

500 miles…fabulous Friday!

Posted on by
Reply

So today is Friday. I’m very glad. I’ve had a great week thanks to my good friends and my good dreams. (I love good dreams, don’t you?) I thought I’d post a few random tidbits that happened this week that made me happy.

Bryant Hornet Reading Club and seeing Mr. Cole again.

Watching TV with my 15 year old’s head on my shoulder. No better feeling in the world.

My 11 year old cracking himself up by telling me I needed to add The Proclaimers: I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) song to my iPod for when I walk. Because you know the verse is: But I would walk 500 miles; And I would walk 500 more

The very yummy dream I had last night. Oh wait, did I mention that already? Well it deserves a 2nd mention because damn it was good.

Amanda Brice, my friend and co-blogger over at Fictionistas, had her beautiful baby girl on Wednesday. Even though Amber arrived a little earlier than scheduled, both mom and baby are doing well.

Girls Night Out and Carlos’s yummy flaming coffee drink that he made for us! And our new friends that we met. Too fun…

And finally, today’s note from the Universe was just filled with sparkly goodness:

Did you know, Melissa, that every time you cry there, harps go quiet here, angels stop dancing, and the stars look down in stunned silence?

Which is why we often say, “If Melissa ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.”
You are loved,
The Universe

And did you know, Melissa, that every time you smile there, it’s like sunshine here?

Have you had a great week? Please say yes…if not, you can borrow some of my sparkle. I have tons to share.

let’s talk tube

Posted on by
Reply

TOP CHEF

SPOILER ALERT

Y
O
U
‘
V
E

B
E
E
N

W
A
R
N
E
D

First of all, I’m very disappointed in the Top Chef finale. Not surprised–disappointed. The judges have had a Chef-mance with Michael V from the beginning and they really wanted to have it be brother vs brother in the finale so Kevin didn’t have a shot. IMO, Kevin was the most consistent chef. And frankly, I would’ve eaten EVERYTHING he cooked.

I liked the V brothers alot. I adored Bryan. I thought Michael had great vision and talent, and normally I’m all about cocky, but he was usually more cock than cocky. He needed to be knocked down a peg. I will say I laughed out loud and snorted when Tom asked him why he should be Top Chef and he said, “I just don’t want Bryan to win.” THAT was funny.

I felt like the finale should be between Kevin and Michael. I would’ve preferred Bryan, but he seems to underseason quite often. I’m not even sure why they bothered bringing Kevin to the final 3 because they knew it would be Bro vs. Bro in the end. Poor Kevin. I adored him. And he can cook for many ANYTIME.

CRIMINAL MINDS
I love this show but last night, I was screaming at the TV. (I do this when the writers make the characters do something TSTL)

So, there’s a dude with a knife in your house. He goes after your boyfriend and you try to escape. You run to the front door which is locked. What do you do next? As your boyfriend is being stabbed to death, of course you run upstairs instead of trying to just UNLOCK THE FREAKING DOOR AND RUN OUTSIDE. right?

WTF? seriously. I know the chick needed to die, but honestly, did the writers have to make her so stupid that she deserved to die from being brain dead? Unbelievable.

As she ran upstairs I just started screaming. “WTF are you running upstairs for? And why are you just standing there watching your boyfriend die? If you’re gonna run upstairs, shouldn’t you at least try to lock yourself in a room and dial 911? You deserve to die, dumbass.”

My oldest kid was laughing so hard at me. “Mom, they can’t hear you.”

“Clearly. If she could hear me, she’d be outside by now.”

TSTL. The writer who wrote that scene should be shot. Or chased upstairs by a knife weilding lunatic.

and for your dose of naughty, naughty, Christmas fivolity…I give you Lady GaGa’s Christmas Tree. “Light me up, put me on top…Let’s FaLaLaLaLa…”

You’re welcome.

proof I did not get D-hall yesterday

Posted on by
Reply

Bryant High School wasn’t a small school when I graduated 20+ a few years ago. I mean, my class had 300 people in it, so you can’t call it ‘small.’ BUT compared to the Bryant of today, it’s damn near microscopic.

I met with the students in the North Library, I believe. Yes, they’re so big now, they have a North and South Library (though yesterday was the final day for that building to be a library…it was being turned into a band room) The North Library used to be my Middle School library. I swear the campus is kinda like the Blob and is slowly taking over the world one patch of dirt at a time. You students better be careful or it’ll get you, too!

Walking into the building gave me major flashbacks. Nothing bad, I rather enjoyed high school overall. I mean, we all had our bad experiences, but I can’t say that high school was a terrible place. Maybe I’ll tell you some of my favorite high school stories later…the good and the bad.

Anyway…Everyone was wonderful and so welcoming. I was treated like a celebrity…and let’s face it, that’s how it should be. I mean, c’mon! I’m MEL! I signed books and took pics and had a jolly good time.

And then they wanted me to talk. I’m not really sure why because what do I have to say? But I dug deep and I found subjects (thanks to the many brilliant questions my rapt audience asked me).

My Western Civ teacher, Mr. Cole came to see me. I love that man. he was one of my favorite teachers of all time. I climbed up in my attic today to see if I could find my picture of the two of us together my senior year, but I couldn’t find it. I know I have it around here some where but I’ll have to post it later. Anyway, here I am with Mr. Cole today. Kinda wish I’d have crossed my legs for ya. Sorry ’bout that.

Not the greatest pic but I know there are better ones out there and when they get sent to me, I’ll post.


This was really an amazing experience for me and I can’t wait to do it again. Thanks so much to Marcia Schiffl and Jill Martin for putting this together and inviting me. And a big fat double thank you to the students who showed up and pretended to be interested in what I had to say. THAT was the most awesome thing EVER.

BTW, like the true person with oppositional defiant disorder, I chewed gum the entire time because I just had to stick it to the man for making that stupid rule back in the day…because I know at least 1 of my 5 weeks of D-hall my senior year was due to gum chewing. LOL

back to my Alma Mater

Posted on by
Reply


I’ve been invited to speak to the Bryant Hornet Reading Club this morning. I’m totally stoked! I hear some of my former teachers may make an appearance. Not sure if I’m ready to face that music yet.

I mean, I was a good girl despite the fact that I spent several weeks of my senior year in D-hall. I wasn’t being bad, I was just misunderstood.

I swear.

Hmmm, maybe I should’ve prepared something to talk about in advance.

Ooops.

Oh well, good thing I’m a talker. No telling what I might decide to discuss today!