I’ll take it!

So this morning, I was given the best compliment ever. I was told I look like Scarlett Johansson from the Avengers. Now, do I believe that? No. Will I ride the waves of awesome from that compliment? HELL YES.

OK, I scanned the internetwebs to see if I could find some remotely normal (as in not sexified hot) pics of Scarlett to make a comparison.

Hmmmm. Well, we both have red hair and a nice rack…but that’s about it. However, I’ll take it. I’ll take it and run…NO TAKE BACKS!

Since today is pretty awesome I’m gonna share some Weird, random, and ultimately unimportant things about me that will help you from confusing me with Scarlett Johansson. (Cuz you know it’s been really hard up until today)

  • I’m a Pisces (Scarlett is a Scorpio…which means she and I would get along well.)
  • I misspell Pisces every time I type it.
  • I don’t like ‘old’ movies. Or musicals (with the exception of two or three)
  • I read my first romance novel when I was 13. (Kathleen Woodiwiss)
  • I don’t eat shredded coconut because it tastes like grass.
  • If it comes between chocolate or lemon dessert…it’s lemon every time.
  • The cotton in Aspirin bottles makes me cringe. As does velour. 
  • I’ve seen Cinderella & Ozzy at least 5 times in concert. 
  • For the longest time, I wanted to have a little girl and name her Mandolin Rain. Yes. After the song. Yes. There’s a reason I only had boys…
  • I love the smell of leather and new money. 
  • Other than my engagment/wedding rings, I’ve only received 1 other piece of jewelry as a gift in my entire life. 
  • I love getting flowers on random days,  but not if that’s all I get for holidays/special occasions. (I think that’s lazy and shows lack of interest). I’d rather get daisies or sunflowers than roses.
  • I like big butts and I cannot lie.
  • Flamingos are my favorite animal. 
  • I love sock monkeys. 
  • I dream of owning a bar on a beach and living in an apartment above it.
  • I wanted to be a soap star when I was in high school. 
  • My first fishing pole was a Snoopy rod-n-reel. My daddy says I threw it into the lake the moment I got my first bite. I say it was Nessie who wrenched the pole from my death grip.
  • My first nickname was French Fry.
  • My first kiss was the summer between 6th and 7th grade on a raft in the middle of the lake.
  • I once made out for hours with my boyfriend in the sheep barn at the Arkansas State Fair.
  • In college, a group of friends and I climbed Pinnacle Mountain after dark. We were on our way down when suddenly we heard ‘HIKERS! COME DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAIN.’ We had been cold busted by park control. Luckily no one got a ticket. 
  • I have a crush on Steve from Blue’s Clues.

So now there is NO WAY you would possibly confuse me with Scarlett Johansson… You’re welcome.

Hope you guys have a fantastic weekend. I will be working and playing. And of course, smiling and sparkling. Because that’s what you do when you’re awesome….

are we there yet?

First off…the prodigal boyfriend has returned! yippee! He spent the holidays with his family in GA and then went to his nephew’s wedding, so he was gone for two whole weeks! Thank goodness I had decorating to do, and orientation at my 2nd job and friends to keep me busy. 🙂 Oh who am I kidding, I’m always busy.

Speaking of decorating:

 The Pimp Tree 
The Flamingo Tree (yes, it’s decorated with several flamingos and the tree topper is a flamingo with a sparkly santa hat on…)

However, I did enjoy this past weekend of alone time. It was wonderful–as I don’t get much of that in my life. I did a LOT of yard work. Burned 8 piles of leaves and raked and mulched for about 10 hours over the weekend. I cleaned the house, did laundry, watched Love Actually again. (I am aware I have a problem.) I thought about wearing my sparkly santa hat to do yard work in, but decided since it was 76 degrees that I would burn up if I did so.

Here I am in my sparkly goodness. I do love the holidays…even though I’m not quite ready for holiday music yet. I’ll start playing it the week before Christmas probably. It’s just too soon…and too warm. How can you listen to Winter Wonderland when you’re wearing shorts and flip flops? (and you’re not at the beach…?)

It’s only Tuesday, and I’m already wishing for Friday. Or at least, Thursday night. (You know, Friday Eve) I’m ready for my 2 week holiday vacation to kick in…for me it starts on the 20th…just in time for the end of the world on the 21st. Guess we need to start working on our apocalypse lists again….

Have a happening day! Don’t forget to sparkle…it makes the people around you very happy.


I’m still full of food and love from the holiday. We watched movies and just hung out. I came down with the crud, so I made the boys endure smooshy, kissy movies on Thursday and Friday. I tried to redeem myself by watching Expendables 2, but really, I shouldn’t have wasted my time. BRAVE was fantastic, though. And Rader made fun of me for getting a little teary…but I blame the headcold and medication.

I can’t believe we’re just a few weeks away from Christmas. Wow. It just doesn’t seem right!

I’ll be decorating this week. I can’t wait to resurrect the Pimp Tree and the Flamingo Tree again!


What’s going on, yo?

Not a lot here. Been enjoying time with my boys, enjoying time with my friends, baking pies…

I got the best compliment in the world Sunday. Da Godfodda told me that my pecan pie was the 2nd best he’s ever tasted…NEXT TO HIS GRANDMOTHER’S. That’s right. I’ll take that #2 slot any time.

Which may explain why I’m always asked to bring pie to Thanksgiving Dinner.

This is going to be a low-key Thanksgiving, and I’m actually grateful. I don’t have to be up at the crack of dawn, taking my turkey out of the brine and spending all day in the kitchen. Although, truth be told, I will miss the hustle and bustle of the orphan Thanksgiving we used to host. But it will be nice not to be completely exhausted by 3:00.

Now, if I can just keep my mouth closed when my daddy starts trying to talk politics and religion. He loves to push my buttons. Maybe this year, I’ll hide my buttons better. (or start partaking in the Cardboardeaux earlier)

Um. This.

I will tell you that this weekend, we will be putting the Pimp Tree and the Flamingo Tree up…and I might be plotting to add another one to our Holiday Forest… Hmmmm, what themed tree should we go for? Pterydactyls and T-Rexes? Science Tree? Lost in Space Tree? Fairy Tale Tree? Sparkle Tree? Oh the possibilities are endless….

nothing much and a flamingo

I really don’t have anything substantial to discuss today. Not that I ever do, but sometimes I like to kid myself. (okay, all the time I kid myself. Shut up. It’s my blog. If I want to be in denial, it’s allowed.)

I’m having lunch with my bestie from high school today. SUSHI! I’m very excited about this. So excited that I even put on make-up today.

I’m also wearing underwear. <–You’re welcome.

Maybe today will be a wine lunch…I’m off the rest of the afternoon…may as well make the most of it. (as if being off work really matters…Oh wait, sure it does…it’s the difference between 1 glass and 1 bottle…I mean, nothing.)

OH and check out the newest OMG I WILL DIE IF I DON’T HAVE THIS SOON item. My friend TTB sent it to me last night. Look out, Target. I’ll be there later to collect my awesome.

I have no title so suck it Trebek

I hit the reset button yesterday after the morning from hell and overall the day turned out okay. My air still isn’t fixed, but they swear it will be taken care of TODAY. I’m pretty sure they had the part shipped from China via the Pony Express. I hope it’s repaired today because I’d actually like to go home and do stuff like laundry before we head out of town on Friday. (Hey Oxford…are you ready for us?)

My Bachelorette recap was posted yesterday. I’m pretty stoked about seeing the next episode of drama when we meet Ashley’s crazy freaking sister Amy Winehouse. She looks and acts like her, so as far as I’m concerned, that’s who she is…It’s gonna be a good time, y’all.
I really wanna Yard Art Farm. Yes. I have a thing for large metal animals. ESPECIALLY the 5ft Giant Metal Flamingo that Galaxy Furniture has. El Jefe and I have decided we should buy one of each of the metal animals and position them around my flower bed like it’s a trough…and then just move them all slightly each day so it looks like they’re alive.
But whether I do a yard art metal animal farm or not, my life may not be complete without the giant metal flamingo. I’m for serious.
Especially since Lumpy the Drunk decapitated my little metal flamingo a few weeks ago. A GIANT metal flamingo would totally rid the place of all negative energy. Like burning a bundle of sage by the doorway. Only it’s PINK and GIANT and in my yard! (and not on fire, because there is a burn ban right now…)
and now…just because this always makes me laugh like a loon, SNL’s Jeopardy. I totally heart Will Ferrell. I know this isn’t right on so many levels, but I can’t help myself.
Also…suck it, Trebek.

fun, fun, fun (til her daddy to the flamingo away)

This is Frederico. He pointed us into the direction of fun all weekend long. I can’t believe that was our last hoorah! There was much tubing and laughing and lazing about. And the weather was perfect. A fabulous end to a fabulous summer. I’m curious to see if my daddy decides to remove Frederico from his post before next summer. My guess is, poor Frederico will be forcibly removed before too long.

In other news, have you seen my friend Maria Geraci’s book trailer for THE BOYFRIEND OF THE MONTH CLUB yet?

I kinda wanna do one now. Hmmmm.

Did y’all have a good weekend? Ruby the Pug sure had fun, too.

Flamingos, Sock Monkeys & 4-Leaf Clovers OH MY!

These things make me happy.

and btw, I found 10 4-Leaf Clovers yesterday. Or was it 11? I can’t remember. But you can see them here.

Okay, I don’t know why I find 4-leaf clovers so easily. I wish I could tell you. I joke about it being because I’m part Leprechaun, but now I wonder if that’s a joke at all. Because I do sparkle a lot. And I look awesome in green. And I have dye my hair red. And I find 4-leaf clovers almost every day….without really looking for them.

That’s the weird part. Ask my kids. Ian spent hours looking the other day, I walked outside, over to the patch of clover where he was, and just picked one. It’s truly bizarre.

Wanna know whats funny? I’m a little superstitious about 4-leaf clovers. For instance:

  1. I believe if you think you saw a 4-leaf clover and you pick it only to discover it was a 3-leaf that fooled you, then you won’t find another 4 -leaf clover for a while. You may also have bad luck…or at least a bad day.
  2. If you see a 4-leaf clover in a patch but don’t pick it immediately, it won’t be there when you go back for it. I think my family the Leprechauns move it.
  3. If you find one 4-leaf clover in a patch, chances are, there are more.
  4. If you go back to the same patch where you found a 4-leaf clover, you will continue to find them. My family The Leprechauns reward you for your 4-leaf clover faith.

So what do you think? I know there are lots of you out there who never find 4-leaf clovers, and that’s a foriegn concept to me. Do you think maybe I’m part Leprechaun? Or is this some weird genetic mutation? I mean, let’s get real. It’s not a super power or anything. I totally love finding 4-leaf clovers, but it’s not like I get lucky am the luckiest person on earth or anything…


I have searched the interwebs high and low for a FLAMINGO PEZ DISPENSER and it cannot. be. found.

Apparently several of my slaves, minions
, fans, stalkers friends searched high and low as well. Nothing.

You can’t tell me that my Holy Grail doesn’t exist! You can’t be serious.




They belong together. I will not rest until I am holding a Flamingo Pez dispenser in my hands.

Dear Pez People at Pez.com,

It has come to my attention that you don’t have a Flamingo Pez dispenser and that possibly you never have. Dudes! What gives?

It’s Flamingos! and Pez! They belong together like Salt -n- Pepa, Bogie and Bacall, Love and Boat, Mel and Awesome!

Please, rectify this horrible situation and make a Flamingo Pez Dispenser. They will fly off the shelves. I know, because I will probably buy them all.

Flamingos and Pez belong together. Let’s make this right.

Yours in Pez,

Mel’s Holy Grail

First of all, did you miss it yesterday? I got my cover for BITE ME! I am in love with it in a way that is truly unhealthy. Right now, I’ve gotta fever, and the only cure is more cowbell cover!
And if you’re coveting her hair? Just know you’re not alone.

Okay, back to the topic at hand. Mel’s Holy Grail….

Everybody’s searching for something. Love, Friendship, Enlightenment, the Fountain of Youth, A Cabana Boy, Money, Power…

Do you know what Mel is searching for?

A Flamingo Pez dispenser

Flamingos and Pez!

Seriously, how could I have a bad day if I had a Flamingo Pez dispenser? It would be physically impossible to remain angry or in a bad mood if I pulled out my Flamingo Pez dispenser and popped a Pez. (and it’s not that Pez is an exceptionally good candy or anything. It’s just that it’s Pez. And who isn’t happy popping a Pez? Especially out of a Flamingo?)

I can’t find one anywhere. This image? It’s a rubber stamp image. It’s exactly what I want yet I can’t pop a Pez from a rubber stamp!

I am afraid my life will not be complete until I find a Flamingo Pez dispenser. If you happen across one, pick it up! Call me! Email me! Write me! Shout it from the rooftops!

I will not rest until I have one in my hands…It is my Holy Grail.