feelin’ SASSY!

I’m talking about motivation, failure and success at FCR today. Go forth and read.

I thought I was going to gnaw my arm off yesterday afternoon around 4:30. I’ve been eating a ton of protein, but I guess my activity increase has motivated my metabolism to jump into gear, (this is a good thing) and by yesterday afternoon, I could’ve chased down a wildebeest and eaten it live in 4.5 seconds.

Instead, I went home and hurriedly put together a very high protein wrap and drank some roasted dandelion tea.  And I was full for the rest of the night.

And I woke this morning, full sass and sparkle. I hope you guys are wearing your shades, because I’m shining bright!

So rapid topic change…some of you folks need to stop taking FB so damn seriously. For REALZ. First off, if you have to qualify every freakin’ post on your own page with something like “Don’t be a hater, but…” or “This is MY opinion only, don’t hate…” then probably, you’re wrapping your ‘opinion’ in a bundle of judgement. And that’s okay, it’s your page, but if you’re not comfortable with the response you are going to get, then probably you should rethink your post.  Either own your feelings or bury them on the inside. Stop getting so defensive. (Probably, you wouldn’t be so defensive if you didn’t have some passive-aggressive alternate point to your post anyway.)

Just know, if you’re always posting life drama or hating on someone or ‘qualifying’ all your ‘controversial’ opinions…I’m hiding you from my news feed. I don’t need the negativity. I’ve spent months ridding myself of it…and since I find FB to be a place to be playful and fun, your constant pettiness and vitriol is not for me. You’re welcome to continue to drown yourself in it–it’s your page after all. I just choose to smile and click “hide from news feed.”

And this…is how I choose to live. It’s amazing how great I feel now that I’ve changed my attitude. It was a lot of work (and still is) but it was totally worth it.

Happy Tuesday! I hit the gym at lunch, am walking after work, then I’m getting my lashes refilled. Tomorrow is supposed to be hella stormy, and seriously, I’m kind of excited about it. I love a good spring thunderstorm…as long as nobody is hurt.

Stay sassy and carry on, bitches!

hey ho!

This song will cheer you up on a rainy day like today. OMG it is soooo damn dreary. I can’t wait til tomorrow, where the weather is supposed to match my sunshiny disposition. Okay, here’s another song that always makes me happy. I love the original by The Foundations, but here’s another version that’s a lot of fun:

BUILD ME UP BUTTERCUP : McFly (feat. Busted)


And here’s the only BEST way to listen to a Justin Bieber song, it’s a NEON TREES Mash-up:

STAND BY ME and the Beib’s BABY.

If you’re feeling down today, these songs should perk you right up! I’m happy to report, I’m feeling good this week after eating healthy every day, exercising every day, and sleeping well. And I’m in a fantastic freaking mood and have been all week…despite the gloomy weather. Hurry up, Friday! I need your sunshine!!! Meanwhile…y’all keep your sexy goin’…and sparkle until the sunshine can’t resist your shine!

2013:Month of Mel Day 15

Not only is today the Ides of March Melf, it’s also:

  1. Everything You Think is Wrong Day: This is a day totally dedicated to everything you do is wrong…you know, that day that everything just messes up? Well, here you go. Don’t worry though, because tomorrow is Everything You Do is Right Day. So if today is wrong, tomorrow will be all right.
  2. Absolutely Incredible Kids Day!
    Sure, your kid is pretty good. But, my kid is absolutely incredible! As a matter of fact, all of my kids are absolutely incredible. As a parent, I am going to take full advantage of being the author of this page to exercise my bragging rights, and to let you know that my kids are absolutely incredible. (Wow! That felt pretty good.)

    If the paragraph above doesn’t give you a good impression of the meaning and purpose of this day, then you probably don’t have kids…yet. When those offspring do arrive, you will most certainly use this special  day to profess how incredible your kids are. Amazingly, tomorrow they go back to being brats.”

  3. Dumbstruck Day:
    “Dumbstruck Day is a day to be totally dumbstruck over the things you see, hear and read. You may easily be dumbstruck to read that someone created this special day. Some people are dumbstruck on a regular basis, day in and day out. The events in their lives and the world around them are overwhelming. Fortunately, that’s not you (we hope).

    However, everyone has their chance to be dumbstruck once in a while. If you are normally embarrassed to be dumbstruck, then today is truely a special day. Today, you can be dumbstruck like the rest of us without guilt or embarrassment.  

So, let’s talk about the Day of Sparkle…

First, we need to back up to March 13, when the Conclave chose a new Pope…which changed EVERYTHING I had planned. Why? Because I had to give them the Pope Hat back. I was totally going to wear it all day yesterday.

Damn that white smoke.

When they called me to let me know, I immediately started negotiating. I had something they needed. They had to give me something in return.

 And they did. Our deal was, if he was going to get his hat back, then he had to take my name. POPE FRANCIS was born.

Seriously, how am I going to top that next year?

Yesterday was amazing. Every text and note and post I received made me smile. THE LOVE. I FELT IT.

Here’s how my day went:

This weekend is the TreeFrog’s 19th birthday. We are doing Benihana tomorrow, and St. Paddy’s Day at the Races! And we’re getting our toes did tonight!

I love birthday month!

Y’all have a great weekend and don’t forget to be Irish on Sunday so you can get all the kisses!

2013: THE DAY OF SPARKLE

 I’m sparkling so bright, I’ve got a glowing halo!

Good Grief. What a fantastic morning, so far! I love that my friends embrace the fun that is my birthday. Seriously, if you’re not having a good time today, it’s your own damn fault.

(click here to read about the LEGEND OF THE SPARKLE)

(click here to read how THE MONTH OF MEL came to be)

My birthday eve was fabulous…We built a fire in the pit, Dale came over for a visit, and the boys made s’mores. El Jefe was sure to kiss me lots and tell me happy pre-birthday. My sparkle was turned up to 11.


I woke this morning to the sound of growling. It was Big Boy. He’s usually a lover, not a fighter, so I decided to investigate (with Ruby’s “help” of course). Well, it seems Big Boy had caught me a tiny little field mouse for my birthday. I tried to save the poor baby, but Little Kitty Foo Foo wouldn’t hear of it. 

 I leave Ruby to tend to the kitteh bidness and go to the kitchen for some much needed morning Joe. And this is what I see…

Gifts…from Box Turtle! One of my favorite locally-owned stores ever!

And this was inside the lovely packages:

The earrings are my birthstone and hammered silver,  handmade by a local artist.

The card with the pearl necklace (MINDS OUT OF GUTTER PLEASE) reads:

Pearls of …

LOVE
with time, patience and a little help from mother nature, a pearl grows into an object of beauty and simplicity. pearls represent the best in us…something beautiful that comes from within. wear your necklace as a reminder that you are incredibly loved.

My heart kinda sorta melted when I read that. El Jefe…you may just be a keeper…

I feel incredibly loved. And so happy to have a group of friends that embrace my goofiness because they love me. And to prove it, check out my favorite email of the day (so far)

Damn right. Now sparkle on bitches! Let’s make today unforgettable and unregrettable! Yes. I made up that word. It’s my birthday, and I’ll say what I wanna!

2013: Month of Mel Day 13 (and 12)

Day 12 was spent in a haze of sparkle. It was a good day, but nothing really to report…other than, YaY for Day 12!

Well, I did make up a new recipe. I was totally gonna make the Chicken Taco Pie recipe that I pinned yesterday, but it kinda morphed into my own recipe. With different ingredients.

And instead of a pie, it was more like a casserole.

And it was very, very good.

I’d give you the recipe, but I’m kinda funny when I cook. I really don’t measure much. However, here’s the gist:

Melf’s made up Chicken Taco Casserole

greased 9×12 pan
3 packs Tyson Fajita Chicken (diced)
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 pack McCormick Garlic Lime Chicken Fajita seasonings
1 can Mexican Rotel (drained)
1 can black beans (drained)

1 cup shredded cheddar
1.5 cups bisquick
1.5 cups milk
3 eggs

Preheat oven to 400.

In large skillet, add all ingredients in first group. Stir occasionally, until the liquid reduces. Pour into 9×12 pan.

Add half the cheese over the mixture.

Mix bisquick, milk, eggs and whisk until blended. Pour over cheese and chicken mixture. Bake until golden brown. Add remaining cheese to top of casserole during last 5 minutes of baking.

Let cool and serve. We had guacamole, sour cream, jalapenos, shredded lettuce and tortilla chips with it.

It was VERY tasty.

So today is my Birthday Eve…or you can call it Sparkle Eve. Today also happens to be National Jewel Day.

Is this a coincidence? I think not! As my friend Beth said, “Sparkle begets Sparkle!” Here’s hoping there’s a myriad of jewels and sparkle in your future!!

See y’all tomorrow….!

2013: The Month of Mel days 9-11

This weekend in SPARKLE:

Saturday, I had a very special playdate with my Best (male) Friend from High School. He moved back to Arkansas before the holidays, and we’ve had dinner a couple of times, but we haven’t been able to have good, quality time yet.

We went to Dizzy’s for lunch and had some fantastically large portions of food. We drove with the top down and took Sally Sparkle to Wye Mountain where I posed for my Easter Card. (Just kidding. I posed, but I don’t send out Easter cards. I’m not your grandmother.) The sky was beautiful, the temp was warm…and we cruised like it was our job!

We had so much fun, that we weren’t ready for it to end…So we called ALL-CAPS Kristal and she joined us on the porch at SO for a couple of beverages. Then we continued the day well into the night, by hanging out at Dale and Terry’s Bachelor pad. El Jefe joined us and I cooked a magnificent pasta and we just chatted and laughed until it was time to go home.

Sunday, I napped. That’s how you beat Daylight Savings Time, you see…You nap.

We have officially entered the WEEK OF MEL (subcategory to the MONTH OF MEL) We have initiated mandatory sparkle. If you have a bad week…you have nobody to blame, but yourself. 😉

Sparkle on, my minions!!

2013: Month of Mel Day 7

I don’t like Math very much, of course, it is very useful in every day life. Like when someone makes the wrong change, and I have to show them how to count it out. Or when I write a check and deduct it from my checkbook. You know, basic stuff.

So when a problem springs up in life, it is rare that I feel the need to apply math to something that doesn’t seem to be math-related. But recently I found myself realizing how basic math is applicable in so many ways. For instance, if one event happens…it can be considered an anomaly–a deviation from the norm. If two or more events happen in almost the exact same way, you start to see a pattern…and then you can look at the situation and apply math…or I suppose you could also say LOGIC and look for a common denominator in the events. If there is a common denominator in 2 or more of the events, then I think you have a solution to your life problem. Now whether you want to see the solution is up to you. But you can’t deny the basic truth…the common denominator is the cause of the problem.

Like I need to find the common denominator to why I fall off the exercise wagon after a month…almost every time. And then I start back hardcore…and usually about a month into it, I just stop. What is the 1 thing present in all these situations that needs to be addressed?  Right now, I don’t know. But when I start back this weekend, I’m going to take special care to note what happens when I start to find an excuse not to exercise. And then I’m going to write that excuse down and make myself go.

Wouldn’t life make more sense if we could all look at things objectively and see the common denominators and solve the problem?

Math. Who knew? (Oh I know, pretty much everyone knew…I just don’t have maff brain.)

Rapid topic change…

I thought I’d post a link to my blog entry from March 24, 2011 because someone googled “Nudists wearing slippers” ..and I was so intrigued by what I posted about that would lead this person to that blog entry I had to read it.

and now you can, too. FYI there’s a picture of me wearing slippers…

Have a happy Thursday, bitches! And don’t forget to do your math homework:

If Melf as 300 bits of sparkle on her at 8 am, and the sparkle doubles every hour, but she gives away 150 bits of sparkle every hour, how much sparkle does she have by 6:00 pm?

2013: Month of Mel day 6

So, how’s the happiest month on earth been treating you so far? According to my horoscope, I am “about to enter a magical month that will bring a planetary lineup so rare and beneficial that I won’t see this type of sparkling support again for decades.”

Sparkling support. Damn right it’s the Month of Mel. I wonder if this is the type of sparkling support they were talking about? Hmmm probably not.

It’s supposed to be beautiful and warm this weekend, which means I can take Sally Sparkle out with her top down! Yay! Aside from the first day I bought her, I’ve not been able to drive her topless…it’s been cold and windy and we even had some snow (flurries)! Of course, I know it was just Mother Nature giving me a nod…sending me little bits of sparkle from the sky to celebrate my month. Thanks for loving me, MN. You’re mostly awesome!

As many of you know, I share my birthday month with my eldest son, Ian. He will be 19 next weekend. All he has asked for is to spend time with us and a few friends…we are doing a spa day, then taking him to Oaklawn. It’s gonna be a great day! He’s very excited about it. As am I.

what color should we paint our toes?

I love that my boys want to give me a pedicure for my birthday and that they WANT to get their toes done as well. My kids are awesome.

2013: Month of Mel Day 5

And then, she rested.

Well technically, I rested on Day 4. (Which would have been my MeMa’s 113th birthday if she were still alive. And that would have been awesome. I celebrated by watching Y&R (her favorite) and napping. (her other favorite.)

Yes. I napped yesterday. (can you call 5 hours a nap?) I’ve spent the last 4 months working 7 days a week. I used to do this when I was younger…however…this old body just doesn’t bounce back like it used to. Now, I’m not so old that I’m wearing floral gowns, carrying around a pocket full of Werther’s Originals and getting my hair set every Saturday morning at 9:00, but I am old enough that my body doesn’t like to go without proper rest. So when I’m tired, I sleep.

And sleep I did.

Today, I’m sparkling so bright…that you gotta wear shades!

These’ll do the trick…

The one thing I didn’t do this past weekend that I said I was going to do? The 1/2 Marathon. Yes. I absolutely traded my bib for a bottle of wine when I realized it was gonna be 20-something degrees that morning. I’m sorry. The only activities I do in Sub-Freezing weather requires blankets and a bed. Maybe a fireplace…

I’m ready for this weather. Go away Jack Frost. We don’t want you comin’ round here no more.

We finally saw Pitch Perfect this weekend. I am NOT a fan of most musicals, (and I think Glee is the worst show on earth) but I LOVED this movie with all my heart. It was so damn funny. We all enjoyed it…even El Jefe found himself laughing against his will. We watched it twice, it was so good. (And I’m pretty sure I would have watched it a 3rd time if we hadn’t gone to Robyn’s house for dinner Saturday night…)

What’s on your agenda this week? Are you sparkling as I commanded? Don’t forget, this is my month and you are required to do my bidding. So turn your sparkle up to 11 and leave a trail of glitter wherever you go!

Meet Sally Sparkle

Ain’t she pretty? Happy Balemtime’s Day to me!!

We make a perfect couple.

I FINALLY GOT MY CONVERTIBLE THAT I’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF HAVING! It feels good not to settle.

Hope y’all have a great VD. Be sure and take your cootie shots! Hope you get lots of sugar from your sweetie!