Monthly Archives: September 2010

tomorrow, tomorrow! I’ll see Oxford, tomorrow!

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IT’S ONLY A DAY AWAY!

When: Friday, September 17 (tomorrow)
Where: Square Books, Jr.
Time: 5:00
Who: ME!

Please come see me!

I had the best time with one of my pals, Stacey Jay last year. We signed books, drank wine, signed more books, drank more wine…

Wait. Anyone beginning to see a pattern here? I LOVE SIGNING BOOKS!

I can’t wait to see you guys tomorrow. It’s gonna be a big time full of sparkly goodness.

In other bits of random…

I was checking my website stats and seriously, somebody in Boulder, CO googled I HATE MELISSA FRANCIS. That’s just mean and hurtful, yo. I’m good people. Don’t be hatin’ on me!

I’ve also had some weird search terms on my website search bar. Like one day a month or so ago, someone just kept searching for KILL and HATE.

So this is what my report looked like:

08:17:30 2010 Kill
08:17:28 2010 Kill
08:17:23 2010 Kill
08:17:22 2010 Kill
08:17:16 2010 Kill
08:16:24 2010 Kill
08:15:46 2010 Kill
08:15:10 2010 Kill
08:14:31 2010 Kill
08:11:35 2010 hate
08:11:34 2010 hate
08:11:31 2010 hate
08:11:30 2010 hate
08:11:29 2010 hate

dudes. Seriously. That’s just not nice! I don’t blog about killing and hate so why are you searching for them? Also, I know people and I know things. And I know people who know things about people. So, watch it. mmmkay? This is my sandbox. Don’t throw sand at me in my own box!!! Besides, I’m all friendly, and sparkly, and fun to play with. Haters are not allowed.

And in Kitteh news. 2 are promised (Charlie Chaplin and Kitteh G) and 2 are maybes (the boys) but my kids wanna keep one of the boys, so I’m not sure what we’re gonna do about that.

I probably will be scarce tomorrow. If I think about it, I’ll pre-post a blog. But I may not think about it. We’ll see.

Have a great weekend if I don’t catch ya mañana!

free to good home and I’m not talking about me (this time)

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Meet the Kittehs. They are all litter trained and eating real food. They are fun and purry and affectionate and are ready to be adopted. (I’ll even bring them to Oxford with me on Friday if anyone in the area wants one!)

Here are the boys. I’m showing this view first so you can see the difference in their color. Chicken Nugget is the light one; Col. Mustard is the darker.

Chicken Nugget
Col. Mustard

Here are the Calicos:

Mayhem

Kitty G

This black and white little girl is Charlie Chaplin. She’s been promised to my friend Jeanne, but I couldn’t post pics of her siblings and leave her out!!
If you’re interested, please contact me via email. First come; first serve!
oatmellow [@] gmail [.] com

changing seasons

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I’m a little torn this year about moving from summer to fall. I’m not quite ready to give up my pool and lake time. I’ve had a great summer with friends and I’d really like to keep it going. Sunshine makes me happy. (it makes Ruby happy, too! and when the pug is happy, Everybody’s happy…)

That said, I’m also ready for fall. Sometimes there’s nothing better than waking up and having a cup of coffee on my screened in porch with a little chill in the air.

Or sleeping with the windows open! I love the fresh air and the battling sounds between city and country life.

And then there’s red wine. Mmmmm. I don’t drink it Alot a lot in the summer, but man in the fall…I can drink me some Pinot Noir or Cab Sav. Mmmmmmmmmm. Momma like.

And we can’t forget Foozball. I’m so ready. I do love to watch a good college game on the weekends and even head to the bar on a Monday night with my friend Jenn C. when the Ravens play. (I’m just supportive like that, you know.)

You know what else I love but haven’t done in FOR-FREAKING-EVER? Fall camping. I’d love to tent camp for a night or two, go hiking, cook some stew in a dutch oven over an open fire…have some Hot Damn to warm my inside parts. You can’t do that in the summer here in Arkansas. It’s just too bloody hot! But starting now through October and sometimes mid-November, you absolutely can.

So I’m not ready to let go of summer yet, but I am so ready to start participating in my favorite fall activities. I guess it really doesn’t matter what I want though, does it. The season will change with or without my permission. I guess Mother Nature didn’t get the memo that I’M IN CHARGE NOW, BITCH. Hmph.

a fangastic time was had by all!

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My book signing for LOVE SUCKS! was yesterday. Check out my new fangtastic ring that my sweet friend Ell-Bell gave me. (She also is the one who gave me Count Smurfula. She is my favorite girl in the world)

The signing was a success. 65 copies of LOVE SUCKS! were sold, 12 copies of BITE ME! we sold out of BITE ME! but that didn’t stop people from ordering them! YAY!
I had several friends from high school come to support me. I’m truly blessed with wonderful people in my life.
I owe a huge thank you to Fishdog for designing my new bookmarks (which are wonderful) and taking care of all the printing for me. He also designed the table top sign for me.
Books-a-Million in North Little Rock is the best damn bookstore in the state. Pam Houk and Chris Barton and all the other awesome associates seriously rock my socks off. If you live in central Arkansas, you should be making all your book purchases from this store. Trust me. They are awesome.
I posted these pics at Fictionistas today, but I’m gonna repost here for your viewing pleasure.
The first pic is me and my rotten boys. The 2nd is me and some of my classmates.

I had the best day and the greatest weekend. I have surrounded myself with a fabulous circle of friends and am truly the luckiest girl in the world.

dangerous curves ahead.

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Do you know how strong my will power is?

Here, let me show you it:

My will is SO STRONG that I managed to walk away without buying this Spongebob skully and glove set. I wanted it. Oh, my how I wanted it. But I didn’t succumb to the bright yellow siren call. I walked on by.

Yes. If this were Oh Brother Where Art Thou, I would not be turned into a horny toad because I resisted the lure.

I did manage to do some damage at Forever 21 yesterday though (no age comments from the peanut gallery…I am NOT too old to shop there, so suck it.) New jeans and a gorgeous one shoulder assymetrical sweater that I will wear with my brown pencil skirt at my signing on Sunday. I’m gonna have to wear a Dangerous Curves Ahead warning sign. Eat your heart out Christina Hendricks! (haha! Ok, maybe not quite…but a girl can dream, right?)

Oh and btw, I’ve now decided that when they make a movie about my life, Christina Hendricks will be replacing Jennifer Coolidge (aka Stifler’s Mom) in the starring role. Because DAMN that it is one curvy, hot red head. It’s my dream! Let me live it!

I’ve got a big weekend planned with fun, friends, and football. If you’re lucky, I’ll post pics on Monday. 🙂

Y’all have a great weekend and Woo Pig Sooie! The Razorbackses is up in here…

Count Smurfula will be blue if you don’t come to B.A.M. on Sunday.

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Look what was in the paper today!!!!

I will be signing books (both BITE ME! and LOVE SUCKS!) on Sunday at the North Little Rock Books-A-Million from 2-4 pm. Please come see me!

Count Smurfula will also be making an appearance…if I can find him. It seems the Kittehs have a fondness for the Count. They’ve either kidnapped him or he’s in hiding…


Count Smurfula demands you come see me or else he’ll get with the Unicorns and bring the Internetz to Life and you know what that means, don’t you? Yes. Rick Astley will make a come back! And since there is only one person in the world who wants Rick Astley to make a come back (RaderFrancis) I suggest you do your best to get to Books-A-Million on Sunday.

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…never gonna run around and dessert you.

you will laugh-cry, too. if you don’t, then you don’t get me at all.

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There are very few things that make me laugh til I cry. Now, I will snort like I’m rootin’ for truffles all day long, but to make me cry? Well, that’s just a special gift. If you’re one of the few, you know you have the golden ticket to eternity, right? Congratulations.

Anyway, I found this site yesterday through a friend. The first post I read was funny and made me chuckle. I loved the style of the art work and her voice so I thought I’d skim through some of her past posts. I started with the her Best Of list. I scrolled down and found a post on Spiders. Now, if you know me at all, you know how I feel about spiders. The only thing that remotely compares to my spider fear (they are all out to kill you) is my fear of clowns (they are also out to kill you) and if spiders and clowns ever got together? I would die on the spot. OMG. Seriously. I just had a panic attack at the thought.

Anyway, Allie and I apparently share a brain when it comes to spiders:

Spiders are scary. It’s okay to be afraid of them.

Go. Read the post. Then come back here…if you can. Because Trust Me. I couldn’t leave her website after I read that. I AM NOW ADDICTED TO ALLIE BROSH. IS THERE A 7 STEP PROGRAM TO PULL ME AWAY FROM THIS WEBSITE? 2 STEPS? Anything? Anyone? Bueller?
Okay, the spiders are funny. And I won’t even talk about how one time I was chased by a wolf spider in my own home. Fishdog was in Chicago on business and I actually CALLED him to tell him that when I was found dead it was because I was chased down and eaten by a wolf spider. Because they are part wolf and they do eat humans. I don’t care what you say. I also won’t tell you about how I carried a baseball bat around with me all night. And that I brutally bludgeoned that wolf spider before it got me first. TRUE STORY. (that I didn’t tell you about)
Anyway, you’re back, right? Okay, cuz now I’m going to send you back to the website to read the BEST POST EVER ON THIS EARTH. I mean, if I’m telling you it is THE BEST POST EVER ON THIS EARTH then you know it is. Right? Right.
The Alot is better than you at everything.


I have been known to abuse Alot and as an English major and a writer, I know better. Just like I know All Right is two words yet I write Alright all the time. Just like I know I’m not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition yet I find myself asking stuff like “Where’s my deoderant at?” constantly. (and for the record, if I ask you where my deoderant is at and you answer BETWEEN THE “A” AND THE “T.” you are likely to get a skillet to the head. Consider yourself warned.)
Anyway, I just had to share my new obsession with you. I hope you find it as awesome as I do.
Hyperbole and a Half is the Epic of Awesome.

fun, fun, fun (til her daddy to the flamingo away)

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This is Frederico. He pointed us into the direction of fun all weekend long. I can’t believe that was our last hoorah! There was much tubing and laughing and lazing about. And the weather was perfect. A fabulous end to a fabulous summer. I’m curious to see if my daddy decides to remove Frederico from his post before next summer. My guess is, poor Frederico will be forcibly removed before too long.

In other news, have you seen my friend Maria Geraci’s book trailer for THE BOYFRIEND OF THE MONTH CLUB yet?

I kinda wanna do one now. Hmmmm.

Did y’all have a good weekend? Ruby the Pug sure had fun, too.

Shenanigans!

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I can’t wait for this weekend. I’ll be playing the role of Ship’s Captain all weekend long (or until I let a boy take over…) The boys and I are headed to Lake Ouachita and meeting friends there for what may be our last lake event of the year.

Birdrunner and her family will be there. My friend Carrie is planning to come. My friend Jenn C. will be there… which means there will be shenanigans galore. If not, then we have failed our task at hand.

Also, Razorback football starts this weekend. We’re hoping to be back at the house by the 6:00 game time to continue the party. Birdrunner suggested we get us some McClard’s BBQ for the game…and I think that sounds like a FINE idea.

In honor of the hogs, I give you my favorite version of the Razorback fight song.

Shake your booty, tutti-fruiti, pop ’em all upside the head! Let’s go for Arkansas! Yes lawd!